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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596918">Changing the Past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StaciaShep/pseuds/StaciaShep'>StaciaShep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blow Jobs, Bonding, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Cute, Dancing, Dirty Talk, Drama &amp; Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Humor, Jokes, Modern Girl in Mass Effect, Multi, Nihlus Kryik Lives, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Smut, Threats of Violence, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:15:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>154,104</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596918</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StaciaShep/pseuds/StaciaShep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alyssa Adams, a CIA analyst, is sent from her own time to the future by means unknown to her. Arriving on the Citadel, a place she knew only from her favorite video games, she decided to make the best of it. Realizing that she arrived just before the Normandy is about to leave for the Eden Prime mission, she uses her knowledge of the Reaper War to help John Shepard and the Normandy crew navigate their missions and minimize casualties. And along the way, she falls in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Garrus Vakarian / Original Female Character / Male Shepard, Garrus Vakarian/Original Female Character(s), Male Shepard (Mass Effect)/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Secret Project</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fic, so please let me know what you think!<br/>Obviously I don't own Mass Effect, I just play in their sandbox a little.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>2300 CE, The Citadel</p><p>The science team was already assembled when Kyara T’Lira, the Asari tech specialist, walked in. Everyone was excited after last week’s breakthrough, and they all found themselves ignoring the outside world and gathering in their lab on the Citadel. They were certain the technology worked, but they were now discussing how to best deploy it. This had been part of an ongoing conversation that they’d been having rather casually for the last few months, but now they could actually pull it off, it had taken on new urgency.</p><p>Their team was going to correct history.</p><p>The cost of the Reaper War, now over one hundred years ago, was massive loss of life across all inhabited planets, and, more than a century later, every life form in the galaxy was still struggling. The loss of life had been astronomical, near total destruction of core and colonized planets and all their efforts had been on restoring what had been lost. In the last five years, food was finally taken off the limited resource list and was mostly readily available again, at least in heavily populated areas. Non-critical items that were deemed normal before the war were largely still rationed and it was the task of the Council to prioritize and distribute where necessary. Being on the Citadel made most things available. Because it was the galactic seat of power, a higher standard of living was available for the people living on the space station.<br/>
Kyara walked in just as Jason Green, the Human historian, was discussing the profile they needed with Everest Kirahe, the Salarian genetics expert.</p><p>“We agree on needing a Human female, under the age of 30, with near total memory recall. I’ve been checking out contemporaneous sources for women that score highly on detail retention and science scores in academic and work related fields,” Jason finished saying.<br/>
Everest was listening with his head cocked to the side, while he was going over his own internal deliberations.</p><p>“She needs to have total immersion in the game environment we have created, so she’s able to influence events significantly once we are able to put her in the right place at the right time. We still need to finalize that plan, by the way. I’m using the game mechanics to identify the right type of personality. I’m telling you the combinations we’re using don’t leave us with a lot of options. We’re also, rather ironically, running out of time. We’ve had to fight off two attacks already this month, so now that the tech works, we can’t waste time. It’s too important.” Jason sighed, having made his point.</p><p>His blue eyes looked tired, he was pushing himself too hard. A historian not just in profession, but also demeanor, he wasn’t cut out for the more practical parts of being on the team and had gotten hurt in the most recent attack on the lab. The faint scarring on his cheek was starting to fade now, and he’d been very lucky that the security team assigned to them had been so responsive, because otherwise he would have been more seriously injured, or perhaps killed, when he was working late and their unknown attackers tried to access the lab to steal their tech. No doubt the attacks would keep coming, Kyara knew.</p><p>“Alright, parameters accepted, still concerned about bringing non-space faring Human into the future without support, but concede necessity.” Everest, ever practical, turned around to tinker with his calculations.</p><p>Kyara still couldn’t get over the fact that they had been able to build the time machine. Non-organic material could travel backward and forward in time, but organic material could only travel from the past to their current present or sometime before that.</p><p>The team had decided on only one attempt at using their device on organic material, and then they would destroy their equipment and all their research notes before activating their aliases and disappearing. Whether or not their plan worked, the tech was too dangerous to leave lying around.</p><p>“Can we go over the plan again and decide how we’re going to do this, please?” she asked the team.</p><p>There were five of them, all the Council races represented. Tevius Pallin, the Turian member, smiled and nodded.</p><p>“Morning Kyara, hope you were able to get some sleep,” he greeted her, smiling.</p><p>"Yeah, four whole hours this time,” she responded with a proud smile.</p><p>Sleeping had been getting more difficult, and even meditating, which was an Asari staple, didn’t seem to ease her anxiety. She was 480 years old, and lack of sleep wasn’t going to kill her, but she was more pale blue than her normal deep rich blue at the moment. She was looking forward to dropping off the map once the plan was set in motion and sleeping for about a month.</p><p>Tevius squeezed her shoulder affectionately and whispered in her ear: “You know, I can help you relax so you can sleep, work off some of that stress.” He softly purred with his sub-vocals to illustrate his point.</p><p>She immediately felt better, her shoulders loosened, and she whispered: “You always know exactly how to make a girl feel better, handsome”.</p><p>He chuckled and turned to the group, refocusing his attention. Kyara did the same and was watching Avenna’Reegar vas Jelachi, the Quarian tech specialist, close her datapad and move to join them.</p><p>“As I see it, we have several important things to agree upon, hopefully today, because we have been preparing for months now, just waiting on the tech to be completed and tested. First things first: Time and location. I suggest we place our subject on the Citadel just before Shepard boards the SSV Normandy for the Eden Prime run. If we play around with the timeline too much, we miss our window to influence change. She needs to be on the Normandy when they leave, see if she can prevent what Saren has planned there.”</p><p>After her statement, Kyara looked around and everyone nodded in agreement. They had been discussing various scenarios and discarded each after careful consideration. Insert their ace in the hole too soon, and she would be labeled crazy and neutralized. Insert her too late, and she’d miss meeting up with Shepard altogether and couldn’t influence events effectively.</p><p>“Now, Jason and Everest, I heard you talking, can you give us an update on the selection of the Human female we’re going to be using?” she asked.</p><p>Jason looked at Everest, who nodded and then said: “Everest and I agree on the parameters, and I have prepared a short list of 3 people based on the most important criteria. After analysis, I propose we use Alyssa Adams, age 28, a CIA analyst with near perfect memory recall. Her parents died in a car accident 4 years ago, and she’s an only child, no long-term relationships or children. I’ve accessed her work and school records, she’s smart, driven, flexible and tenacious. She’s also quite attractive, which makes it easier to gain Shepard’s trust. If even half the stories are true, he couldn’t turn down a pretty woman to save his life.”</p><p>He passed the datapads with the information about Alyssa around and waited while the team read through it.</p><p>Then he continued: “In her spare time, she plays the Mass Effect games religiously, exhausting all options and wanting to complete all possible quests. She’s mentally resilient, so while it will be a big shock to be transported to the Citadel, which she thinks is fictional, I’m confident she will adapt quickly and find a way to make it work to her advantage. The other two potential candidates have more negative aspects, like a family they will want to get back to or a less adaptable personality, less able to deal with high levels of stress. I hate to rush all of you and I would like to get consensus on this, but I’ve done my research and this is the best we will be able to do, using what we have. It’s our only shot, and I think she’s our best option at improving our circumstances.”</p><p>Everest was the fastest reader among them and after looking through all the material, he nodded. “I agree with your assessment, Jason, and approve your choice.”</p><p>Avenna and Tevius were still immersed in their datapads, but after twenty minutes, also looked up, nodded and agreed with Jason’s choice.</p><p>Now they were all looking at her.</p><p>Kyara had been thinking of all angles, it remained a huge risk, but one well-placed, well-informed person could do a lot of good, while if this Alyssa didn’t succeed, they wouldn’t be any worse off, because they knew recorded history had the organic species win the Reaper War. In her mind, knowledge was power, and getting more knowledge to Shepard would help him make better decisions.</p><p>She looked at all of them, and said: “Then we’re all agreed. Alyssa Adams it is. When can we do this?”</p><p>The first phase of their plan had been completed three months ago, after they had figured out how to transport non-organic matter back through time.</p><p>They had created a series of video games, attuned to the technology of Earth at the time, which allowed people to experience the events of the Reaper War, in effect spoon-feeding a large amount of people their future, even if they thought it fictional and just a game.</p><p>Using the data available from that period of Earth's history, and combining it with the in-game activities of people playing had been complicated and time consuming. Half the team had been focused on finding the right person to use and the other half of the team had focused on finalizing the time travel device to accept organic matter to be pulled forward. This was now available. Everest had been able to secure the DNA lock, so they could finally target the right person, which they had now selected. All that remained was executing phase 2 of their plan.</p><p>“Well, given the increased frequency of attacks, I would say sooner rather than later,” Tevius said. “If we’re ready, we do it today. We’ll need at least 2 days to break down the device, destroy all the documentation and disappear.”</p><p>Nervous looks followed this statement. It was one thing to be working on this project for years, thinking it was purely a theoretical exercise at first, with it becoming progressively more real, but now that they were at the end of it, it seemed surreal that they would attempt anything like this.</p><p>Avenna shook her head, seemingly to clear it and said, “Keelah Se’lai, we are really doing this. I agree, no time like the present.”</p><p>Kyara, going around the group again, looking at each person in turn, received nods from each and then said in a formal tone: “I am proud and humbled to have worked with such an exemplary and,” winking at Tevius, “handsome team of people to achieve something unprecedented that can change the fortunes of the galaxy in all our favor. This is truly the undertaking of a lifetime and no one outside this room will ever know about it or acknowledge our contribution. I am indebted to each of you and stand with you to see our work completed. By the Goddess, the Spirits, and all our combined religious or spiritual beliefs, I pray our project is a success. May Alyssa Adams improve our odds,” she concluded.</p><p>Jason cleared his throat, Avenna shuffled her feet nervously and let out a breath and Everest started muttering computations under his breath. Tevius smiled and winked at her, righted his shoulders and turned to his work station. By tonight, it would be done, one way or another.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Not A Regular Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Where we meet our heroine on her most unusual day.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>2020, Langley, Virginia, USA</p><p>Daylight was peering into her bedroom window, slowly waking up Alyssa Adams. Her long red hair was plastered to her face, and not for the first time, she reflected that she looked nothing like those women that wake up in movies looking perfect.</p><p>She had nearly swallowed a lock of her hair, was slightly drooling from the corner of her mouth, and she had forgotten to remove her make up yesterday, so she resembled a beat up, redheaded panda.</p><p>At least there was no one in the apartment to see her like this. Getting out of bed, she sighed, stretched and walked to the bathroom. Today was Saturday, time for a quick clean up, followed by a run, a proper shower, and breakfast. She loved routine, and thrived on it. Work was hard, but good, and she did well, enjoying both the actual activities and solving the problems presented to her. She liked the team she was in and the environment. Her assessments were consistently good and her boss paid her a compliment yesterday when she’d been able to resolve a vexing piece of intel that seems at first to be contradicting their other information.</p><p>She looked in the mirror, seeing deep green eyes look back at her. She liked the contrast between her natural red hair, so like her mother’s and her green eyes, inherited from her dad. She smiled at her reflection and washed her face. As she was brushing her teeth, she remembered that her mom’s birthday was next week. Automatically, she clutched the necklace with their rings that she wore faithfully. She’d go to their graves and leave flowers, spending some time to clean up and talk to them. It gave her a sense of family connection and warmth. They had passed away 4 year ago and while she still missed them, the wound wasn’t fresh. She’d always been independent, the result of being an only child as much as a character trait and had adjusted well to being by herself. Her friends supported her, visiting often and going out to the bar with her, playing wingman if she wanted some company for the night.</p><p>OK, time to get moving, she thought.</p><p>She’d removed the worst of the makeup and changed into her workout gear, putting her necklace on her nightstand for safekeeping. It had come off once during her run and she’d spent a frantic half hour looking for it before she’d found it in a patch of grass. Since then, she always took it off. Preparations complete, it was time for her run. Her job required physical as well as mental fitness and she took both seriously. Running route variant 4 that she had memorized, she spent about 2 hours outside in the early winter morning, relaxing her mind and training her body.</p><p>She took a long hot shower when she came back, got dressed and settled at the kitchen counter with a cup of tea to plot out her grocery list. She felt a strange tingling sensation in her arm, and as she looked at the offending appendage, she noticed with a shock that her arm was becoming transparent, a glow spreading out across her body. Before she could fully panic, she started shimmering and her apartment disappeared before her eyes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Arrival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa is transported to the Citadel and tries to get her bearings and come up with a plan.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>2183 CE, The Citadel</p><p>Alyssa found herself sitting on a bench looking at a pool of water. There was no ripple in it, and it looked empty and artificial. She looked around and saw a large, pristine area with neon signage and people walking around everywhere. The light was suffuse and calming, the open area feeling like an oasis of peace.</p><p>No, wait, not just people. She saw a Turian, and an Asari. What was going on here? She had to be dreaming. Had she fallen asleep in the kitchen? How embarrassing. She’d been playing Mass Effect way too much if she was even dreaming about it like this.</p><p>She had dreamed vividly before, especially after her parents’ car crash, so she wasn’t immediately upset, but, taking a moment to think about it, this didn’t feel like a dream.</p><p>Don’t you usually wake up once you realize it’s a dream? Alright Lys, stop being weird and wake up. We need to go shopping, she tried to prod herself.</p><p>She took another long moment, and another, and then, panicking slightly, realized that she wasn’t asleep. Instinctively, she reached out to grab her necklace, but finding only skin, she cursed as she realized it was still on her nightstand. She’d forgotten to put it back on after her shower. The necklace was made up of her parent’s wedding rings, fused together, her only tangible connection to them. And it wasn’t here. The missing jewelry was a shock to the system. Noticing her heart pounding, she slowed down her breathing until she had a better grip on herself.</p><p>What the hell is going on? She was on the Citadel, she clearly recognized it, although it was bigger than in the game. It felt fucking real, not like a dream at all.</p><p>She pinched herself, flinched and then shook her head as she realized how cliché it was to pinch yourself to see if you’re in a dream.</p><p>What was she going to do now?</p><p>Taking a deep breath, she gave herself a few minutes to adjust to where she was. Not dealing with reality wasn’t an option and as far as she knew, this was real for her right now. At least until she woke up or whatever drugs she must be on would stop working.</p><p>Think of a plan, think of a plan, what could she do?</p><p>She looked around, taking in more detail and trying to come up with something useful.</p><p>Oh my god, there’s a Keeper right there, with the little antenna pack and everything. She had to suppress a squeal. Then that terminal over there had to be an Avina terminal. Maybe she could ask it some questions, she couldn’t stay on this bench forever.</p><p>Decision made, she stood up.</p><p>She walked over to the Avina terminal and pushed the button. Avina popped up and said: “Greetings and welcome to the Presidium. My name is Avina and I am pleased to be your virtual guide throughout this level of the Citadel Space Station.” Exactly like in the game, she thought, unable to stop a smile from creeping onto her face even as she was thoroughly weirded out by the whole experience. She turned her full attention to the terminal.</p><p>“Hello Avina, I’m Alyssa, and I’m hoping you can help me. Can you please tell me what the date is?” she asked, hoping the date would give her some idea of what was going on and also to see how Avina would react to her.</p><p>“Hello Alyssa, today’s date is March 4 of 2183 Council Era. My scans indicate that you are not registered in the C-Sec database as having entered the Citadel Space Station. Please remain at this terminal, C-Sec has been dispatched to this location,” Avina intoned in her pleasant voice.</p><p>Well, that wasn't wholly unexpected. Avina would have some security features built in. Thinking, Alyssa realized that 2183 CE was when the first game took place.</p><p>If this was real, what would happen to her here? If the location was real, and the date was real, would the story from the video game happen here as well?</p><p>One of the first things she was taught at Langley was to accept the reality in front of you and to analyze and plan accordingly. There were a lot of unknowns at the moment, but she pushed herself to think through her options while she waited for C-Sec to show up. Now, what would she do if this was a work situation?</p><p>Step 1 – Information retrieval and verification<br/>
Step 2 – Determine unknowns and perform threat assessment<br/>
Step 3 – Plan next moves<br/>
</p><p>It was a basic structure, but it came naturally to her. It had been drilled into her repeatedly during training and it was how she approached her day-to-day work as well. Taking some comfort from relying on what she knew would help her make sense of the situation she found herself in, she started working through the available information.</p><p>What did she know? She was on the Citadel space station, in 2183 CE. She was safe, unharmed, and didn’t know how she got here, or how to get back home. She should find out if the events of the first Mass Effect game would play out here. If so, she would know with some degree of certainty what was going to happen, which would be an enormous strategic benefit that she needed to use. First things first, she would need to find out if Captain Anderson, the Normandy and Shepard were here.</p><p>She couldn’t ask Avina about any of that however, Avina wouldn’t give that kind of classified information to someone unregistered, if she even had it and it wouldn’t be safe to disclose what Alyssa knew to everyone.</p><p>So she waited patiently at the terminal for C-Sec to arrive. They were police officers and Alyssa had a healthy respect for law enforcement.</p><p>Even though she was in a very surreal situation, she didn’t feel scared and felt confident in her first step. It was certainly disconcerting to be here, but sitting on a bench forever wouldn’t help. After all, she couldn’t remain here without ID, or money, or, now that she thought about it, an omni-tool and universal translator.</p><p>Oh shit, the translator! C-Sec is full of Turians, she wouldn’t be able to understand them.</p><p>“Avina, I don’t have a universal translator, or an omni-tool. Will I be able to understand the C-Sec officer?” she asked the VI.</p><p>“As long as you are near this terminal, I can translate to Earth English for you. Standard C-Sec procedure is to employ an omni-tool translator until a universal translator can be fitted. It is highly recommended to outfit a universal translator to increase inter-species cooperation and this service is provided for free at Huerta Memorial Hospital for individuals without the implant,” Avina answered smoothly and in doing so, put some of Alyssa’s fears to rest.</p><p>At least she’d be able to understand people.</p><p>Having to wait near the Avina terminal was a small blessing. Alyssa idly people-watched, while trying to organize her thoughts and get over her initial shock.</p><p>She couldn’t believe she was actually here. This was so unreal. She was pretty sure she wasn’t dreaming, though, she’d never dreamed in such detail before, with smells and random background noises. And all of the things you’d associate with dreams, like location switches, odd angles and people popping up or changing instantly, were absent.</p><p>Within 15 minutes, a C-Sec officer came up to the Avina terminal. He was a tall Turian, with grey skin and almost silver colored markings, dressed in the blue striped C-Sec armor.</p><p>When he started talking, Alyssa couldn’t understand him, so Avina translated. The officer was explaining that her unauthorized access to the Presidium was breaking several Citadel regulations and that she would have to go with him to answer questions. He introduced himself as Officer Chellick.</p><p>“Thank you for your kind assistance, Officer Chellick, I’m sorry to be causing such trouble. I am Alyssa Adams, from Earth,” she said, holding out her hand to grip his forearm.</p><p>Chellick looked at her in surprise.</p><p>“Troublemakers are usually a nuisance, and as a rule, aren’t really all that polite,” he replied, Avina acting as translator. He looked her over, seemed to make a decision, and reached out to grasp her forearm, in what she knew to be the standard Turian greeting style.</p><p>Avina seemed to be explaining something to officer Chellick, whose eyes kept getting bigger as he listened and was looking at her. She was really hoping Avina would offer a translation back to her, so she knew what was going on.</p><p>“Avina tells me you don’t have an omni-tool, or a translator? How did you even get here?” he asked her incredulously.</p><p>Avina explained to her that translators convert native languages to Galactic Standard Language, and back, but other people’s translator output was not converted back to her native language. So while officer Chellick could understand her through his translator, she couldn’t understand him, as it didn’t convert his spoken words back to Earth English.</p><p>“I’d love to answer all your questions, but I don’t want to do it out in the open here. Would it be possible to go the Huerta Memorial Hospital first, I don’t have a universal translator and as soon as I leave Avina, I can’t understand a word you, or anyone else, is saying? Please?” She pouted a bit and tilted her head, hoping for an amused smile.</p><p>Chellick looked at her again, and indeed smiled.</p><p>“Well, I don’t get such charming troublemakers every day, and I must say that I’m curious about you. You seem to have circumvented C-Sec protocols completely and ended up here without us knowing about it, so yeah, in the interest of being able to answer my questions, let’s go to Huerta Memorial first. Wait here, troublemaker, I’ll call us a shuttle.”</p><p>Then he turned around and started working on his omni-tool, presumably to call the shuttle and update C-Sec.</p><p>Alyssa waited patiently. She recognized Chellick, and if he was here, that was a small indicator that more things she knew would be here as well. Chellick was the officer that had a bartender named Jenna working undercover at Chora’s Den, a dive bar owned by a sleaze bag. Her sister was worried about her and wanted her to go back to working with her in another bar. In the game, Chellick seemed a bit gruff, but in the end he had helped keep the bartender safe.</p><p>She wondered what he would be like today, and how to get closer to the people she needed, like Captain Anderson. The beginnings of a plan were starting to form. If this was all real, which seemed increasingly likely, if still unbelievable, she had a shot at being in the thick of it and maybe even helping out with the Reaper War.</p><p>It was like one of her field assignment puzzles at the CIA, deciding what the best approach would be, and how to use the available assets. For now, she settled on getting the translator and figuring out what type of person Chellick was.</p><p>The shuttle pulled up and he gestured for her to get in.</p><p>Oh my god, she was in an actual flying car, this was so cool! The excitement of it almost had her squealing again. She was still a bit scared, but it was almost completely overridden by how exciting all of this was.</p><p>Chellick looked at her askance, perhaps trying to judge why she was smiling so hard at a normal shuttle, but apparently decided against asking, knowing she wouldn’t understand him anyway.</p><p>She spent the trip to Huerta Memorial looking out the window at all the sights of the Citadel. She remembered that everyone who saw it for the first time was in awe of the station and as she was looking at it, she realized that it was exactly the same way for her. She couldn’t stop staring, a bright smile on her face, like a kid in the world’s biggest candy store.</p><p>She turned around to Chellick several times, wanting to share her excitement and giddy energy with the only other person near her, and finally he also smiled at her, saying something she couldn’t understand, but sounded friendly.</p><p>He could understand her, of course, so she said: “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe I’m here.”</p><p>Not a word of that was a lie. He just smiled and patted her arm lightly with his hand. His three fingered hand. She looked at it and again smiled.</p><p>She couldn’t get over how cool it was to see all of the things from her favorite games come to life. She didn’t want to study Chellick too closely, not wanting to make him uncomfortable or put herself in an awkward position, so she settled back and took in as much of the outside of the shuttle as she could.</p><p> </p><p>In almost no time at all, at least to her, they arrived at Huerta Memorial. It was bigger than she thought, and calm, open and bright like she imagined. They walked into the lobby and Chellick motioned for her to follow him to the reception desk. He started talking to the receptionist, but of course Alyssa couldn’t make out anything and was content to look around and check out the area. Checking out her immediate environment was second nature to her by now, it was a basic part of CIA training, so she did a visual sweep, identifying where people, cameras and exits where and what the easiest escape route was.</p><p>There was an angry Volus at the other side of the reception desk and it didn’t take any language skills to realize he was upset and taking it out on the receptionist. Thinking back to her experiences in the game, she realized most of her interactions with Volus, or Voli, - wait, what was the multiple of Volus? – were with angry representatives of their people, leading her to conclude that perhaps in general they were a bit short-tempered.<br/>
She also couldn’t recall seeing more than one at a time, so perhaps <i>they</i> didn’t even like hanging out with each other. That thought made her laugh and she gave a small giggle.</p><p>Chellick turned around with a surprised look on his face and she smiled at him and said: “Sorry, just something funny that occurred to me.”</p><p>He looked a bit puzzled, but then took it in stride. Nothing he could do until the translator was in place.</p><p>He gestured for her to follow him to the waiting area and sit down on the couch until they were called up. He was playing around with the omni-tool on his arm, presumably updating something again, although Alyssa couldn’t read the script.</p><p>After about 15 minutes, a nurse came out and walked up to Chellick, gesturing to the both of them to come with him, guiding them to an exam room. The nurse was a Human of about 30 years old, tall with wavy brown hair and a nice smile.</p><p>He addressed Chellick first, and then turned to her and said in English: “Hello ma’am, I’m Adrian Brown and I’ll help install your universal translator. Can you tell me your name?” He smiled and shook her hand.</p><p>“I’m Alyssa Adams, nice to meet you. Thanks for your help. How does the installation work? I’ve never seen this technology, I’m afraid.”</p><p>If he was surprised by her admission, he didn’t mention it, but his eyebrows lifted as he processed what she was saying.</p><p>“Sure, I’ll explain everything and answer any questions you have,” he said, giving her a reassuring smile.</p><p>Chellick remained in the room, but near the door, giving her some semblance of privacy.</p><p>Nurse Adrian explained the procedure. They would shave a small portion of hair from the back of her head, give her local anesthetic, drill a small hole into her skull and screw in the translator.</p><p>“It will hurt for a few days until the wound completely heals, but that should be minor. You’ll also likely have some headaches as your brain adjusts to the use of the device. You haven’t had any implants or anything before, so it may seem strange at first. I’ll make sure to give you some painkillers you can take if the pain becomes inconvenient.”</p><p>The translator itself was small and detachable, so she could upgrade or change it later, if she wished. Their current models were quite high tech though, so he thought she wouldn’t need upgrades any time soon.</p><p>Alyssa knew she needed the translator, but it was still surgery, in her head, in a hospital in the future, on a space station she would have sworn yesterday was fiction.</p><p>Thinking about it made her a bit dizzy, so she put it out of her mind, took a deep breath, smiled at Adrian and said: “Well then, let’s do it, just leave me with a somewhat fashionable haircut. I don’t need to be laughed at while walking around.”</p><p>Adrian chuckled, offered a comforting shoulder squeeze, rubbed his hands together and said: “You’ll look just as pretty as you are now, I promise. Don’t worry, you’re in safe hands.”</p><p>Chellick gave an almost imperceptible snort near the door.</p><p>Steeling herself, she laid down on the hospital bed as directed and took a big breath, letting it out in a slow and controlled manner. It helped slow down her heart rate and calm her nerves. She was ready, or as ready as she could be, given the strange circumstances.</p><p>The procedure itself was deceptively simple and in about thirty minutes they were back outside the hospital, with Adrian making her promise to call if she had any complaints. Of course she promised gladly, touched by the warm care he had shown her. So far, people at the Citadel had been helpful, kind and friendly. Unexpected didn’t begin to cover it, but she took small comfort from the fact that she’d been treated well.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Verification</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Now that she's able to communicate, Alyssa explains how she got there and figures out how to get in touch with who she needs.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chellick was happy to be able to talk to her in the shuttle on the way to C-Sec Academy. </p><p>“Is this a usual part of your job, picking up wayward troublemakers near Avina terminals?” she asked him with a smile. </p><p>“No, not really,” he smiled, “I’m actually a detective, but we’re running low on staff at the moment and I was on my way out when I heard the request come in. It was significantly unusual that I decided to take a look. Normally I deal with weapons or drugs smuggling, or serious crimes like murder. This is a nice change of pace actually.” He smiled at her again.</p><p>Chellick looked at her and asked the ten million dollar question: “How did you even get to the Presidium without an omni-tool, ID or translator?” </p><p>He studied her closely, and although she didn’t know how well he knew Human expressions, he did seem very perceptive in general. A clever detective, he knew to wait her out and let the silence continue until she talked first. </p><p>She smiled at the calculated move, recognizing the technique she herself was taught, and she decided to go for honesty. </p><p>“Actually, I don’t really know. The last thing I remember is being in my apartment on Earth sitting at my kitchen counter. Then this sort of glow, or shimmer, I suppose, came over me, and before I knew what happened, I was on a bench in the Presidium. I’m hoping you may have it on camera actually, I’d love to know too.” </p><p>Chellick looked surprised and then said: “Well, that’s a new one for me. I’ll check the vids when we get back. You’ll have to wait in one of the interview rooms while I check it out. As a Human from Earth, you are entitled to having someone from the Earth embassy support you while you’re with us. Want me to make arrangements?” </p><p>Thinking quickly, she realized that someone from the Earth embassy might be able to get her in to see Captain Anderson, especially once Chellick was able to verify the video footage and realized she was telling the truth. </p><p>It seemed like her best course of action. Hopefully a Human appearing out of thin air would be something the Alliance was interested in.</p><p>“Yes, I would appreciate that immensely, thank you, officer Chellick,” she said, and found herself smiling at him again. </p><p>He really was quite easy to like. He smiled back and made arrangements on his omni-tool.</p><p>When they arrived at C-Sec Academy, he guided her through the doors and into one of the interview rooms.</p><p>“Would you like something to eat or drink while you wait? I can rustle up some levo food, you must be hungry and keeping hydrated will help with the headache from the implant,” he said, gesturing at the back of her head.</p><p>“Yes, thank you, much appreciated. Do you take care of all your troublemakers so well, or am I special?” she teased.</p><p>He ran his hand over the back of his neck, like he was nervous and then looked at her.</p><p>“My troublemakers aren’t usually polite or attractive, so I guess you’re a little special.”</p><p>She beamed at him and he hurried out of the room. She was pretty sure there was a blue hue to the back of his neck as he hurried out and she remembered from the game that this is how Turians blush. Alright, so that was a little adorable, she thought, grinning to herself.</p><p>She hoped he would be able to find the video footage to give some credence to her claims.</p><p>After returning quickly with some food and drinks, he left her locked in the room while he went to investigate her story and wait for the rep from the embassy to show up.</p><p>He had gotten her a BLT sandwich, or something incredibly similar, and a fizzy drink which tasted like peaches. Both were tasty and as she was eating, she realized that she was indeed quite hungry, but it had been pushed to the back of her mind because of her current situation.</p><p>Now that she had some time to herself, she considered her day. It obviously wasn’t a dream; she’d been here for a few hours already, and there weren’t any of the strange time jumps or the weird things she would get in dreams. It all seemed very real, and strangely familiar. She laughed out loud, of course it was familiar, how many hours had she poured into those video games, playing them over and over again until she finished them all and then restarted the first one when she missed the characters.</p><p>She cried every time Mordin died, and was sad and frustrated when she couldn’t save Legion. And while she had never really warmed up to Ashley in the game, she felt personally insulted that there had been no option that would allow her to save them all. She realized it was the limitation of the game of course, but it still got on her nerves.</p><p>Problem solving was what she excelled at. She decided to take this seriously, if the game info checked out, she would need to talk to Captain Anderson, tell him the truth, or enough of it, and convince him to let her go on the Normandy with them. She could at least try to change mission parameters to increase the likelihood of Jenkins and Nihlus surviving the Eden Prime mission. That seemed like a good enough short term plan.</p><p>Even with the food and the hydration, she felt a small headache starting. She rested her head on the table and attempted a quick nap. Chellick would be back when he found something.</p><p>Officer Chellick found her an hour later, asleep on the desk with her arms folded below her head for comfort. He gave a small cough, waking her up and waited for her to get her bearings.</p><p>Behind him, a woman in a professional, if boring, dress with her blond hair pinned up came in and introduced herself: “Samantha Vimes, Earth embassy representative. I’m here to support you in this case. Officer Chellick has kindly brought me up to speed. I understand you don’t have formal ID and are unable to recall how you got here.”</p><p>Alyssa stood and shook the proffered hand. “Alyssa Adams, nice to meet you and thanks for the support. That’s a very clear summary of the issue.”</p><p>Chellick pulled up a chair for the other woman and sat down at the head of the table himself. He conjured up a holo screen and queued it to focus on a video of a bench on the Presidium. It was empty. He pressed play, and watched Alyssa’s face closely while she was watching the screen. She saw the empty bench, then nothing much for about 15 seconds, and then a shimmer, exactly as she remembered from her kitchen, and there she was, looking confused, both in the holo vid and in the interview room.</p><p>Chellick stopped the video, looked at her and said: “You’re a truthful troublemaker, I’ll grant you that, but I’ll be damned if I know how you did that. Care to elaborate?”</p><p>“I have no idea, I’ve never shimmered before and wouldn’t know how to even start.” Again she opted for the truth, if not all of it.</p><p>Miss Vimes asked to replay the holo a few times, then shook her head and said firmly, “I need some time with my client, please. Would you leave us alone, Officer Chellick?”</p><p>Chellick agreed to give them the time they needed, after which he would come back with more questions. Once he had stepped out, she turned to Alyssa and asked her how this happened.</p><p>“I don’t know, this is all I remember and it’s on tape. Look, I need something important from you. Can you tell me if Captain David Anderson is on the Citadel?”</p><p>Miss Vimes looked at her suspiciously, then seemed to weigh her answer before saying “He might be, do you know him?”</p><p>Alyssa hesitated, decided on another half-truth and answered.</p><p>“I know of him, but he doesn’t know me. It is very important that I talk to him however. I need to pass on vital information and I will only talk to him. I’m not a threat to him, the Alliance or the Citadel,” she added as an afterthought.</p><p>It was a gamble and she knew it, but she was hoping that showing up on that bench out of thin air would at least capture Captain Anderson’s curiosity. She waited, seeing the struggle on Samantha Vimes’ face. In the end, perhaps deciding it was above her paygrade, she sighed and agreed.</p><p>“Very well, I’ll contact Captain Anderson directly and ask that he meet with you as soon as possible. The Alliance will want to know how that shimmer works and what the risks are. I’ll inform officer Chellick. I’m expecting you to stay here and stay out of trouble. As your representative, don't say anything to anyone until I'm back. Don’t make me risk my neck for nothing.”</p><p>She stood up without shaking Alyssa’s hand and left in a hurry, looking unnerved. It must be an unexpected turn to her day, Alyssa mused idly.</p><p>Alyssa took the time alone in the interview room to go over her plan and plot out what she knew. She was going to have to handle things very carefully to get what she wanted.</p><p>More than an hour later, the door to the interview room opened again, this time admitting a tall, official looking military officer with a dark complexion and short cropped hair as well as officer Chellick.</p><p>“I’m Captain Anderson, you asked to see me?” he said, not offering to shake her hand and looking at her suspiciously.</p><p>“Yes, Sir, I’m Alyssa Adams and I have confidential information I will only share with the Alliance,” she replied, hoping that this gamble would pay off.</p><p>“Who you are remains to be seen. You have no method of identifying yourself, and you aren’t listed in any known database. You literally appeared out of thin air in one of the most tightly secured areas of space, so please forgive my skepticism in taking you at face value.” Captain Anderson remained standing and looked down at her critically.</p><p>She had to find some way to gain his trust, or at least, capture his curiosity in order for her to talk to him without Chellick present. She decided to gamble.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, she said: “Sir, Kahlee Sanders sends her regards.”</p><p>The effect was immediate. Captain Anderson turned to Chellick and asked him to leave them alone and disable all recording devices in the room. Chellick agreed grudgingly, likely knowing he couldn’t disagree with an Alliance captain without political fallout.</p><p>After the door closed, Captain Anderson sat down, looked her in the eye and ordered: “Explain yourself, now!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Rolling the Dice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa talks to Captain Anderson.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was the part Alyssa was most nervous about. This was likely her only chance and in the flesh, Captain Anderson was quite intimidating. Steeling herself, breathing deeply to slow her heart rate and calm her nerves, she decided again to try honesty. Everything she knew about Anderson indicated that he was fair-minded, popular with his crew and staff and would likely hear her out if she played her cards right. Trying to deceive him would not go over well.</p><p>Be cool, Scooby-Doo, she thought, you can do this.</p><p>“Sir, I would ask that you hear me out before interrupting.” She checked and saw him nod.</p><p>Good. Here goes nothing.</p><p>“I’m Alyssa Adams, I’m a CIA analyst working and living in Langley, Virginia, USA. I was born in 1992 and am now 28 years old. This morning I was sitting in my kitchen, started to shimmer and now I’m on a space station, which I could have sworn didn’t exist when I woke up. I cannot explain the shimmer or how I ended up here, I can only say it wasn’t my doing.”</p><p>He was looking at her impassively, not wanting to give anything away, but she could see he was tense, and he looked ill at ease.</p><p>He probably thought she was a mental patient, not that she could blame him. It sounded insane to her too.</p><p>Continuing her story, she said: “But I know this place, and this time. I know you love Kahlee Sanders, even though you aren’t in a relationship with her. She’s one of a very short list of people you trust and I’m sorry I had to invoke her name to get your attention.”</p><p>Now she could see some irritation flutter across his face. She resolved to be very careful going forward.</p><p>“I need to test a theory, sir, and for that, I need to ask you a question. Feel free not to answer, but I think just asking the question will let you know that what I’m telling you is true.”</p><p>He nodded, looking skeptical, but keeping his promise to listen to her story.</p><p>“Sir, are you about to take the SSV Normandy out on a shakedown run, with Commander Shepard and Spectre Nihlus Kryik to go to Eden Prime to collect a possible Protean beacon, with a secondary objective of assessing Commander Shepard’s suitability to become the first Human Spectre?”</p><p>She stopped then, and tried to gauge how Captain Anderson was taking this information. He was staring at her, didn’t respond and appeared deep in thought.</p><p>Just as she thought he might just get up and leave her there, he sighed and started talking.</p><p>“Setting aside your stated origins and how you got here, your information about the ship, correct or not, would be considered top secret, available only to a very limited amount of people.”</p><p>She nodded, this did not need a reply. He folded his arms across his chest, a decidedly guarded move that was quite intimidating on a man of his size and gravitas.</p><p>“The Alliance doesn’t take kindly to spies, extortionists or people trying to sell classified information. Tell me why I shouldn’t just let C-Sec add these charges to the list and throw you in a cell.” He was testing her, and she knew it.</p><p>“Because I can help, sir. I know about the mission and I can provide your team with intel, so they can avoid getting hurt and can complete their objective. Please let me explain.”</p><p>He waved a hand, indicating that she could continue. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she vaguely wondered if this is how field agents felt all the time. That explained why she was usually behind a desk, this was nerve-racking stuff.</p><p>“When you and Spectre Kryik are giving Commander Shepard the mission in the comms room, Joker, your pilot, will interrupt and show you video footage from a group of marines that are under attack on the Eden Prime surface. There’s a split second view of a huge, strange looking space ship. You won’t know what it is, but I do. When that happens, you’ll know I’m telling you the truth.”</p><p>Please believe me, she silently begged. She kept her eyes on his, her posture completely still. Captain Anderson was quiet for a long time before he appeared to reach a decision.</p><p>“I’m ordering C-Sec to transfer you into Alliance custody. I want you contained and under control. You’ll come with me for processing.”</p><p>He wasn’t giving anything away, but the fact that he didn’t want her talking to anyone else had to be a good sign, she hoped.</p><p>Her information must have been at least partially correct. Thank god for that.</p><p>He got up and left the room, locking the door behind him. It took another hour for them to collect her. Chellick made her sign some papers, officially handing her over to Alliance custody, and whispered: “I hope you’re able to tell me the whole story someday.”</p><p>She just smiled at him and winked, before hurrying after Captain Anderson.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. In Custody</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Captain Anderson decides how to proceed with a problem like Alyssa.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa followed Captain Anderson silently until they arrived at what looked like his office. He locked the door behind him, called his assistant to cancel the rest of his appointments for the day and requested that he not be disturbed unless the station was being attacked. Then he motioned for her to sit down on the other side of his desk.</p><p>She looked around quickly, another security assessment of her surroundings, and he noticed her doing it, but didn’t comment. He was watching her closely, which made sense.</p><p>Don’t push too hard, it will pull him away, she reminded herself. He needed to decide to believe her without any manipulation.</p><p>“Would you like something to drink?” he asked, motioning to a small bar setup in the corner. “If you’re hungry, let me know and I’ll have food brought up. If not, we’ll have dinner together in here later while we get to the bottom of this.”</p><p>Obviously, he’d decided not to let her out of his sight. It must be close to the mission launch date then, otherwise why bother?</p><p>“Thank you sir, may I grab something myself? Can I bring you over something as well?” she asked pleasantly.</p><p>“Help yourself, bring me a bottle of water, please,” he replied, at least making an effort to sound polite about it.</p><p>She moved to the bar, making sure her back wasn’t turned so he wouldn’t think she was hiding anything. Shifting her body so he had a clear view of both of her hands, she picked up the drinks and returned to the chair opposite his desk. Telegraphing her every move, she reached over slowly and handed him his bottle of water. She wanted to be as non-threatening as possible.</p><p>Taking a sip of her own drink, some fizzy concoction that promised to taste of pineapple, she waited for him to start talking. She didn’t have to wait long.</p><p>“Can you explain how you can be from the past, but know what is going on here?” he asked her.</p><p>How could she explain without making it look like their lives were a game meant only to entertain and distract from real life? She took another sip of her drink, closed the cap and nodded.</p><p>“It is not common knowledge where I’m from, but it’s also not exactly hidden. It is considered fiction, which is something I enjoy in my spare time. I have near total memory recall, so I’m able to store and retrieve even minor details once I know them. Imagine my shock at finding myself here, in an environment familiar to me, but one I was convinced was not real,” she began, watching him closely. He was sitting tensely, holding the bottle of water, but not drinking, wholly focused on her.</p><p>“It’s why I went to Avina, to get my bearings. When I heard the date, I realized that I’m here at a time that’s in line with the events I know about, so I wanted to know how much of it is true. And then I thought, if it is true, I may as well try to help. It’s why I joined the CIA after all. To make the world safer.” Alyssa stopped there, giving him the opportunity to reply.</p><p>“What can you tell me about the mission to Eden Prime?” he asked, observing her carefully.</p><p>“Commander Shepard will take Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko, who is a Human biotic with an L2 implant, and Corporal Jenkins to the surface. Spectre Nihlus decides to scout ahead, because he works better alone.” He kept his face impassive, she couldn’t really get a read on him yet. He would have made an excellent interrogator or detective, she thought.</p><p>“Jenkins is killed in action upon first engagement of the enemy, and Shepard and Alenko find the sole marine that survived the attack, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, whose grandfather is General Williams, the same one that surrendered at Shanxi to the Turians.” She paused here, and only because she was looking for it, she could see Captain Anderson’s minute reaction to her knowing the details of his crew. It was gone in a flash, but it was enough to calm at least some of her nerves.</p><p>She was right. It was happening according to what she knew. Damn, this was hands down the weirdest thing that had ever happened to her.</p><p>“I can tell you more, but I will need you to answer my question about the SSV Normandy’s shakedown run. Building trust goes both ways,” she said kindly but firmly.</p><p>He paused, shook his head and said: “You haven’t told me anything you couldn’t have gotten from a confidential file. And the rest you can just make up, there’s no way for me to check any of that now. Give me something that’s not in a file, so I know you’re telling the truth.”</p><p>She’d have to tell him something personal about one of his crew, something that wouldn’t show up in a personnel file or mission report. Racking her brain, she considered her options.</p><p>She couldn’t use Shepard, she didn’t even know if it was the male or female version, let alone what their background was. Too many variables. She couldn’t use any of the later crew additions like Wrex, Garrus or Liara, because he wouldn’t know about them yet. Captain Anderson wouldn’t know Kaiden well enough for her to use personal tidbits on him for verification. Damn Nihlus died so quickly, she didn’t know anything useful about him either.</p><p>Then it came to her. Doctor Karin Chakwas. The captain would be familiar with her, they’d been serving together for a while, so he knew her, at least a little.</p><p>Her mind made up, she smiled and said: “Karin Chakwas is your ship’s doctor. She has served in the Alliance faithfully, and while she may sometimes consider a private practice on a nice planet somewhere, she feel like there’s something special about taking care of soldiers. She loves Serrice Ice Brandy and has a bottle hidden away in the med bay for special occasions.” She finished with a smile, she’d always liked the doctor.</p><p>To her surprise, Captain Anderson also smiled and reached for his omni-tool, entering some command Alyssa couldn’t see. Within fifteen seconds, the face of Dr. Chakwas was visible on his holo view.</p><p>“Hello Captain, may I help you?” she said.</p><p>Captain Anderson looked directly at Alyssa and said: “Karin, do you have a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy tucked away in your med bay?”</p><p>Dr. Chakwas looked surprised and then started chuckling softly.</p><p>“Yes, Captain, I do. I know it’s technically against regulations, but I keep it for special occasions. I didn’t realize you also liked it. I’ll share it with you if you want,” she answered him, their familiarity with each other clear in the easy way she invited him.</p><p>“Thank you for the kind offer, Doctor, I’ll take you up on that. I won’t take up any more of your time,” Captain Anderson responded.</p><p>“Not a problem, Sir, I was just finishing up last minute preparations before launch,” Dr. Chakwas said before disconnecting the call.</p><p>His eyes flitted over to Alyssa immediately and she winced. He hadn’t wanted that bit of information to come out. Then he seemed to ease his demeanor, apparently realizing that she had in fact given him accurate information that couldn’t be gleaned from a file.</p><p>“Alright, miss Adams, you’ve proven your point. Trust is a two-way street. I can confirm the SSV Normandy is indeed about the commence a shakedown run to Eden Prime.”</p><p>Relief flooded her, she was right, and he’d believed her.</p><p>“And until I can get to the bottom of this, you’re going where I’m going. And right now, that means going on board of the Normandy.” He looked at her, all stern commanding officer and she knew he was taking a risk on her. She was determined to prove to him that she was worth it.</p><p>“There are of course ground rules. Trust has to be earned. In the meantime, you will do as I tell you, when I tell you. You don’t talk to anyone unless I authorize it. If you jeopardize this mission, I will space you before we get back to the Citadel and make it look like an accident, do you understand me?”</p><p>“Yes, sir, I won’t cause any trouble, I promise,” she readily agreed. “And please call me Alyssa, sir, no one calls me miss Adams.” He gave her a small nod.</p><p>She couldn’t believe she was actually going to be on the Normandy. This was amazing. Don’t grin too much, no giggling, she chided herself. She could at least pretend to be a professional, dammit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. On Board the Normandy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa sets foot on the Normandy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>En route to the Normandy, Captain Anderson had provided her with a cover to explain her presence on the ship. She would be an Alliance intelligence specialist, reporting directly to him, to support tactical data gathering. It wasn’t too much of a leap for her, so she wouldn’t have to constantly be on guard, and it naturally limited her exposure to the rest of the team.</p><p>He would have uniforms and a new ID delivered to the Normandy, along with an omni-tool, for her to look the part. Not that she would actually have access to any data, he assured her sternly.</p><p>It was all fine with Alyssa. She was excited to be along for the ride, and confident that when the mission started, they would start to believe her and let her help. No military operation would turn down reliable intel, not matter how unusual the source.</p><p>The SSV Normandy looked much bigger in real life. It was sleek and beautiful. She could understand why someone like Joker would have fallen in love with it. Or her, she recalled Joker referring to the Normandy as female.</p><p>She boarded with Captain Anderson, the ship’s computer announcing the Commanding Officer was on board, relieving the XO. Once on board, they were greeted by a tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed officer, who saluted the Captain smartly.</p><p>John Shepard, holy cow. So much better looking in real life, she thought, trying to keep her reaction in check. It was difficult not to freak out as the people and things she only knew from her computer were now in front of her in real life. She was on the Normandy - the actual Normandy SR-1, that was so surreal.</p><p>“Welcome back, Sir. Pre-flight checks are being completed, everything is within acceptable parameters,” Shepard - the actual Shepard - updated his captain, before turning his attention to Alyssa.</p><p>“Welcome aboard ma’am, I’m Commander Shepard, the XO of the SSV Normandy.” Professional and to the point.</p><p>Before she could respond, Captain Anderson answered for her.</p><p>“This is Alyssa Adams, Alliance Intelligence, she’s going to support us on our next mission.”</p><p>Shepard looked surprised, but, perhaps judging his boss’ mood, didn’t ask further questions.</p><p>“Can you help her get squared away? Single occupation crew quarters, please. Her things will be brought along shortly. It was a last minute decision,” Anderson requested.</p><p>Shepard nodded, and motioned for her to follow him.</p><p>“So, what did you do to get assigned here? I thought our crew complement was full,” Shepard asked when they were moving through the ship.</p><p>“I’m lucky, I guess. I just go where they tell me to go. The ship is beautiful, by the way,” she replied, a little nervously. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Shepard. The games really hadn’t done him justice.</p><p>“Yeah, she is. Can’t wait to put her through her paces and see how she holds up. I’m not sure yet where we’re going, but this is a unique project for both the Alliance and the Turian Hierarchy, there’s a lot riding on this. The Captain is capable, as is the crew. We’re waiting for the Turian advisor to join us before we get underway.” He talked to her with an infectious enthusiasm which put her at ease.</p><p>“Here, this room is still available. Mess is down the hall, bathrooms are in the back over there. Have you had dinner?” Shepard said, smiling at her.</p><p>“Thanks, I’m starving. Food wasn’t big on the agenda today, so I could definitely eat,” she answered him.</p><p>“Great, come join me for dinner then. Food’s always better shared with a pretty woman.” He gave her an impish grin, put his hand on the small of her back and lead her to the mess area.</p><p>Suave, Shepard, you charmer, she thought, suppressing a grin. If he kept this up, she was in trouble.</p><p>They sat opposite each other, eating and chatting comfortably. Shepard was pleasant, easy going company and she found herself laughing at his jokes and anecdotes, forgetting her predicament for the first time today.</p><p>“—and so after Joker brought the Normandy back, they gave him the job, even though he stole the damn ship in the first place. You’ll meet him later, he’s a funny guy. Just remember not to punch him, even though you’ll want to. Everybody wants to at some point. He’ll break something for sure and Doctor Chakwas spends enough time patching him up as it is,” he finished his story about how Joker ended up as the Normandy’s pilot.</p><p>“I can’t believe that worked. They could have thrown him in jail for that stunt,” she laughed, shaking her head.</p><p>“Yeah, the Alliance would have, but the Turian general was so impressed with him that he hired him on the spot,” John explained. “He’s the best damn pilot I’ve ever seen though, we’re lucky to have him,” he added earnestly.</p><p>She realized that they had actually finished their dinner some time ago, and were the only two people left in the mess hall, just comfortably chatting as if they weren’t strangers, but like they’d known each other for years.<br/>
She looked at him, relaxed and leaning back in his chair, seemingly without a care in the world and she realized that she actually didn’t know much about him. As the player’s avatar, all his decisions had been her own. She could even pick his background, customizing him to her heart’s content.</p><p>Talking to him now, that thought made her queasy. She resolved to get to know him, and help him with what she knew would be a heavy burden. If she was lucky, she might even get the opportunity to keep him alive. That sobering thought brought her right back to reality. They weren’t playing around. Across the table from her sat the only man that could save the galaxy.</p><p>And look handsome doing it, a distant, observant part of her provided quietly.</p><p>“Nightshift is about to start, so I’ll let you get some shuteye,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s been a long day. Thanks for dinner, Commander, and for the company. See you tomorrow,” she said with an easy smile.</p><p>Alyssa went in search of her room, finding her supplies inside. Some Alliance uniforms and some casual clothes, as well as toiletries and other basics. And in a separate box, a new omni-tool. It looked like a large bracelet and she slipped it on her wrist. It sprang to life and started configuring. She looked at it in wonder and when it seemed finished setting up, she touched it to see what it would do. It sprang up immediately and gave her an options holo screen. She spent the next half our going over the various functions and options before feeling she had a grip on what it did.</p><p>Without access to any real data, it was much like a smartphone without a data connection. Shiny, but useless.</p><p>Realizing she was exhausted, she dropped onto her cot. Sleep could fix most things, and maybe she would wake up in her own bed tomorrow, and realize it had all been a crazy dream.</p><p>Though she hoped it wasn’t, she thought before falling asleep.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sharing the Secret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa and Captain Anderson let Nihlus and Shepard in on a secret as the Normandy flies to Eden Prime.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was woken up by incessant beeping and after getting her bearings, realized she was still on the Normandy, and the shiny new omni-tool was causing the noise.</p><p>Not a dream then, looks like I’m still here, she thought. Another day in the twilight zone.</p><p>Captain Anderson had sent her a message telling her to meet him in his cabin in an hour. So Alyssa got up, figured out where the bathrooms were and how the showers worked. Then she grabbed some breakfast, sticking to her promise not to talk to anyone without permission and was at the captain’s cabin exactly on time.</p><p>When he let her in, she noticed they weren’t alone. In the cabin with him were Shepard and a tall Turian with red coloring and white markings, who could only be Nihlus Kryik.</p><p>Anderson motioned for her to sit in the only available chair and then looked at both men, his face serious and stern.</p><p>“Yesterday I was confronted with an unusual situation and before we leave for our mission, I want to read you both in and get your opinion. Frankly, this is unprecedented and I’m unsure how to deal with it. I’m hoping you’ll be able to help make sense of it,” Anderson said gravely.</p><p>Both the Turian and Shepard looked surprised at Captain Anderson’s admission, and quickly seemed to grasp it must be serious if such a seasoned and highly decorated officer wasn’t sure how to proceed.</p><p>Anderson then turned to her and ordered: “Explain all of it, please, I want them to hear the whole story and judge for themselves.”</p><p>This was it, the moment of truth. Stay calm, breathe, she told herself. She took another big breath, slowly exhaling and started.</p><p>“I’m Alyssa Adams, born in the USA on Earth in 1992. I’m 28 years old and yesterday, my yesterday, which was Saturday, February 4th, 2020, I started shimmering in my kitchen and I disappeared. I re-appeared on a bench on the Presidium, and I have no idea how that could be possible, except that it’s absolutely true.” She stopped there, looking at all three of them.</p><p>Surprise registered on Shepard’s face, probably thinking about the dates she mentioned and how, to him, they’d be considered ancient history, more than a century removed from their present time.</p><p>Nihlus’ reaction was more guarded, he was an experienced Spectre after all, and seemed to reserve judgment until additional information became available.</p><p>Anderson used the silence to bring up the holo vid of Alyssa shimmering and appearing on the bench. That got a physical reaction from both men, making them move forward and looking from the vid screen to her and back.</p><p>“How did you do that?” Nihlus demanded, mandibles twitching.</p><p>Alyssa shook her head and replied: “I told you, I don’t know. I didn’t do anything, I was making a grocery list in my kitchen. There’s nothing even remotely like the tech needed for this where I’m from. I guessing you don’t have it here either.”</p><p>Almost automatically, he shook his head in confirmation of what she was saying.</p><p>“No, we don’t. I’ve never seen anything like this. The security implications are significant,” Nihlus continued, thinking out loud.</p><p>At that, Anderson nodded and added: “Which is why I confiscated the footage, and remanded her into my custody. The rest of her story, however, is relevant to why we’re on this ship. Continue, Alyssa.”</p><p>“So, as far as I can figure out, I’m out of my own time, and in yours. However, I know your time, and I know what will happen in the immediate future, let’s say the next four years, give or take. For me, it was presented as a series of fictional events, a form of entertainment. I never thought it could be real.”</p><p>Both men were focused her, with Shepard occasionally flicking a look at Anderson, checking in with his CO.</p><p>“When I realized where I was, I tried to make contact with the people I knew would be here to see if what I know is accurate. So far, it seems to be. I offered Captain Anderson my help to deal with what is coming, and I think it’s fair to say we’re in the process of assessing if I’m actually telling the truth.” She nodded at Anderson, who in turn seemed surprised by her open acknowledgement that he didn’t trust her yet.</p><p>Anderson took over then, not letting either man derail the explanation with questions.</p><p>“She’s provided me with highly classified information about our current mission. I don’t know how she was able to obtain it, I myself was only read in two days ago, in a direct meeting with Admiral Hackett, and I’m sure there are no records in the Alliance database about what we’re about to do.” It seemed he couldn’t help but glare at her then, though yesterday’s heat was gone.</p><p>“With the limited time window, it seemed more prudent to keep a close eye on her and try to figure out what is going on. If what she’s saying is true, she possesses intel that we can use to our advantage.”</p><p>Throughout all this, Shepard had been listening with an increasingly serious look on his face, so different from his easy demeanor yesterday at dinner. She couldn't really blame him, her story sounded insane, even to her, and not having any answers for how it had happened, didn’t make it easier for any of them. She couldn’t take the lingering silence and the focus all three of them had on her.</p><p>“Look, you can ask me questions, anything you want. I’m not trying to hide anything. Just, please, let me try to help,” she pleaded, looking at each of them in turn.</p><p>Again Anderson added to her story, explaining her knowledge of Doctor Chakwas’ secret stash, and how she was found without ID, tech or translator. All small indicators that she was telling the truth that made him decide to take her with him onboard while he figured out the whole story.</p><p>Shepard folded his arms against his chest and leaned back against the wall. He looked at her, likely weighing what he was hearing with what he remembered from their time yesterday.</p><p>Nihlus mirrored his stance against the other wall, also deep in thought. In threat assessment mode, most likely. She would be in his place.</p><p>Alyssa caught herself holding her breath, waiting for their reactions. She reached for her necklace, faltering when she grabbed at air instead. It sent a sharp pain through her, knowing she didn’t have it with her. This was the moment she had been most anxious about. If they didn’t believe her, or if they deemed the risk too great, they might lock her up, or worst case scenario, space her to protect their mission. She didn’t think it very likely she’d be killed, truth be told. Both Anderson and Shepard were honorable men. She really wanted to save Nihlus’ life, now that she’d met him and was looking right at him. More than she would have imagined, seeing and talking to Nihlus had grounded her here, galvanized her resolve to help.</p><p>As the tension in the room ratcheted up, she focused on staying calm, and on not letting her nerves show. Her hands were firmly in her lap, so they couldn’t see them shaking. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Nihlus spoke first.</p><p>“Tell us about the mission, miss Adams, and then we can see what information we can use.”</p><p>It was a practical approach, and one she respected immensely. She settled down to explain the mission’s objective, covering Joker’s interruption during mission prep, the team’s approach, including Nihlus scouting ahead alone, Jenkins dying, finding Ashley and the team encountering Geth. That got the temperature in the room up. Geth hadn’t been seen in centuries.</p><p>She paused before continuing with the part she had been dreading to explain.</p><p>“There’s no easy way to say this, but once you, Nihlus, reach the spaceport, you meet Saren Arterius. You’ll be surprised to see him, and he takes advantage of your familiarity to shoot you in the back of the head. You die instantly. He’s there to retrieve the beacon and he’s the one in charge of the Geth force.”</p><p>She looked at Nihlus then, almost flinching in anticipation of his glare, needing him to believe her, and she saw his shock and disbelief.</p><p>“Saren has been my friend for a long time, Human, if you want to convince me of your ridiculous story, you picked the wrong name,” he practically hissed at her, mandibles flaring, not afraid to show her his anger.</p><p>She refused to shrink back into her chair, but it took considerable effort on her part. She was very aware of the Turian’s size and the damage he could do if he decided to act on his anger. She suspected he had nothing against Humans in principle, or he wouldn’t be evaluating Shepard, but this had to be hard. Listening to her warning about the betrayal of one of his own, especially someone he was close with and considered a mentor, combined with the deep sense of loyalty and obedience that was second nature to Turians, and she knew this was too much, too fast, for him to believe her.</p><p>She looked into his eyes, softened hers, and told him earnestly: “He’s your mentor and he’s the reason you’re a Spectre. I know you don’t want to believe me. But I want you to be prepared. I don’t want you to die. You’re smart and practical, you’re the one the Council goes to for high risk missions. You’re one of the best Spectres in the galaxy, able to improvise and overcome impossible odds, and your instincts are impeccable. What are those instincts telling you now?”</p><p>He considered her for several long moments, before turning to Captain Anderson. “I need to think about this. I’m going to my quarters. Apologies Captain, Commander.”</p><p>He left without another word, turned on his heel and strode out with big steps.</p><p>Shepard and Captain Anderson turned to her, and the latter sighed.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me about Nihlus or Saren,” he looked at her accusingly. “Why?”</p><p>“Fair question, Captain. I was worried you would try to intervene while you were still on the Citadel and tip Saren off accidentally, or that it sounded insane enough for you not to believe me,” she replied. “Also, I know Saren is a sore point for you, and I thought it would make you wonder if I was manipulating you somehow,” she continued, looking apologetic.</p><p>Again she went with the truth, no guile or humor to alleviate the tension in the room. They needed to believe her, needed to decide for themselves whether to trust her or not. She’d underestimated how nerve-racking this was, being in the room with people she wanted to help, needing to convince them of her good intentions. Not for the first time, she told herself she was an analyst for a reason. Field work didn’t agree with her half as well as being able to observe and advise from a distance.</p><p>Anderson looked surprised, as did Shepard, and she knew Shepard didn’t know about the captain's history with Saren. After a moment, however, Anderson nodded. </p><p>“Good assessment on your part. My history with Saren would have clouded my judgment.”</p><p>Shepard turned to Anderson, but he shook his head, not willing to discuss it right now. He then turned to Alyssa, and asked her to return to her quarters so both men could discuss things privately. She agreed, but told them that there was more to the mission and she hadn’t given them the full brief yet. They agreed to wait until Nihlus decided on his next move. They had some time before they got to Eden Prime, not expecting to arrive until the next day.</p><p>She went to her quarters, and filled her time exercising and putting her thoughts in some kind of order. Analyzing what she knew of the mission and the next steps, she started thinking about how to improve the situation. Minimize loss of life and perhaps get a jump start on some of the things that would be crucial later. It kept her mind occupied and staved off her nerves.</p><p>Perhaps inevitably, her mind mulled over the problem of how she got here and how to get back, or if that was even possible. Frustratingly, she had no more answers and no matter the angle she approached the situation from, a logical explanation eluded her. It was like she was there one moment, and here the next. So she compartmentalized, and focused on what she could control instead.</p><p>Just as she was getting hungry, her omni-tool beeped and she received a message from Nihlus to meet him in his quarters. She went immediately.</p><p>Upon entering, she noticed how clean and stowed away everything was. Either he hadn’t been there long or this was another example of Turian discipline. He was sitting down, on his cot, and motioned for her to sit down in the chair opposite, which she did, glad he didn’t make her sit on his bed. If he wanted her to feel at ease, this was the right choice. She smiled, optimism creeping into her worried state. Maybe it was good news.</p><p>Nihlus looked at her for a long moment before breaking the silence.</p><p>“I can’t find Saren. I checked the Spectre records as well as some contacts at the Citadel and he appears to have disappeared off the grid. The Council doesn’t want anyone to know, and it’s not unusual for Spectres to be off the radar for a while, but this seems off.”</p><p>The fact that he admitted this much to her, made her heart leap in her chest. He’d taken her information and tried to verify it independently instead of dismissing it out of hand. That was really good news.</p><p>“The last time we talked, I could tell he was hiding something from me, and he seemed different, maybe a little unstable. I chalked it up to a stressful mission and needing downtime, but you’ve made me wonder if it isn’t more than that.” He looked pained at the memory, but quickly refocused.</p><p>“I’m going to recommend to Captain Anderson and Commander Shepard that we take your information at face value and modify our tactics accordingly. If we do that, we may save lives, while continuing on without any changes may jeopardize them and the mission. Quite frankly, if this was some nefarious plot to sabotage the relationship between the Alliance and the Hierarchy, I can think of about thirty scenarios that would have been easier and made more sense. It’s almost too insane not to be true.”</p><p>And then he smiled at her, before getting up from his position on his cot and guiding her out of the room and directly into Captain Anderson’s office.</p><p>Alyssa remained silent, not wanting to jinx her good fortune. This might actually work.</p><p>If Anderson was surprised at the two of them walking into his office unannounced, he didn’t show it. Without needing any prompting, he reached out to call Shepard.</p><p>“We need you back in here, right now,” he ordered down the line. “On my way, Sir,” came the quick reply.</p><p>Again, Captain Anderson motioned for her to sit down in the chair on the other side of the desk while he remained in the only other chair in the room. Shepard entered and he took up his old position against the wall, arms folded across his chest.</p><p>Nihlus spoke first. “I’ve checked with my sources and Saren is indeed off the grid. Privately, the Council is worried, but he’s their most valuable Spectre and is given a lot of leeway in his missions, so it will take some time for them to realize it if he’s up to something nefarious.”</p><p>Captain Anderson nodded and said: “We’ve been discussing it ourselves as well. We think the benefits of using Alyssa’s information outweigh the risks. You are all capable soldiers that can deal with on-the-ground changes. Being prepared will aid us here, and if it turns out that picking up the beacon is a walk in the park, then we’ll take appropriate steps once we’re back at the Citadel.”</p><p>Alyssa let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. They’d decided to believe her, at least a little. She could help. Perhaps save lives. She was so relieved and thankful. Saving people and making the world safer were why she had said ‘yes’ when the CIA had recruited her. Her mother had smiled at her youthful idealism and warned her that her job would expose her to the dark side more than the light. It wasn’t the first time her mother had been right and it wouldn’t be the last either, but it had stuck with her. Alyssa’s intention had always been to bring more light into the darkness. It seemed she’d be able to do that here as well. She couldn’t stop the smile from showing on her face.</p><p>“I’ll fill you in on the rest of the mission, as well as some of the enemies you’ll encounter. I can help with planning as well. I am actually a trained intelligence analyst, but I understand if you want to work that out yourselves. Trust needs to be earned, and I’m not there yet,” she told them and they nodded, accepting her offer.</p><p>Then she launched into her explanation on the rest of the mission, the husks and those horrid spikes, the Prothean beacon and Shepard interacting with it, and finally, Saren’s ship, Sovereign and it being an actual Reaper, intent on destroying all organic life.</p><p>That sucked the air out of the room. All three of them were staring at her, their arms folded in mirror images of each other.</p><p>“Sovereign is the vanguard, a single Reaper waiting on this side of the galaxy to let the others in. He’s manipulating Saren into doing his bidding, and the singular goal of the Reapers is to destroy all organic life. They’ve done it in the past, in cycles of 50,000 years. The last time, they wiped out all the Protheans. That’s what the beacon wants to warn us about. The Geth revere the Reapers as gods. That’s how Saren is able to get them on his side. Sovereign needs to be destroyed, but we’re not ready to do that yet. The Normandy is no match for him alone, not right now.”</p><p>She didn’t like being the bearer of bad news, but it was important that they understood the risks and didn’t go in half-cocked.</p><p>“It’s a lot to take in, I know, and I’ll tell you everything I know about what happens the next few years in due course, but the important thing to keep in mind right now is that in the end, you win. Organics win. And that’s without you knowing the future. You do that, all the races in the galaxy combining their strength to fight them off. But the cost is enormous. Earth, Palaven, Thessia and Sur’Kesh are almost completely destroyed, their populations decimated. Other planets suffer similar fates. But hopefully my being here, helping you, may mitigate the outcome and prevent some of the worst from happening. I hope that’s possible, and I hope that’s why I’m here.” </p><p>And as soon as she said it, she realized it was absolutely true. She did hope fate brought her here to help the galaxy survive. She hoped she could lighten the load for the team that carried the heaviest burden. Shepard, especially. She realized the weight of what she’d just revealed, and decided to shut up to let them respond.</p><p>Silence reigned, the only sound was coming from the engine, humming pleasantly in the background.</p><p>Anderson got up and started pacing the room, and the action prodded the other two into action as well, unfolding their arms and moving away from the wall. Anderson came to a stop in front of her, gave her a small, strained smile and told her to wait outside while they discussed their next steps. They called her back in after 5 minutes, which she spent pacing the corridor in front of his office and worrying.</p><p>“Please stay to discuss tactics, we may have questions for you,” Captain Anderson told her. And so she did, happy to be included.</p><p>The next few hours were spent fine-tuning their plan. The men decided not to bring Jenkins, with him being so inexperienced, and likewise, Nihlus wouldn’t be scouting ahead, instead remaining with Shepard and Alenko, which would minimize the risk of Saren getting the drop on him.</p><p>When they were satisfied with the revised tactical plan, and she’d answered a lot more questions about the mission, they all trooped out of the office and went to the mess hall. By then, Alyssa was starving, having missed lunch entirely. It was almost dinner time, so they dropped down and ate, not talking about anything important by unspoken agreement. Not in front of the crew.</p><p>And it was a good thing too, because they were soon joined by another face familiar to Alyssa, Kaiden Alenko. He was tall, with dark hair, and remembering some of the chatter in the game, indeed quite handsome. He greeted them all warmly, introduced himself to Nihlus and Alyssa, and sat down to eat. No one really felt the need to fill the time with conversation, having spent the last couple of hours in deep discussion, but it seemed Kaiden was oblivious to the atmosphere surrounding the four of them.</p><p>Wasn’t he always? she thought with a snigger.</p><p>Shepard was sitting opposite her, next to Captain Anderson and she was flanked by Nihlus and Kaiden on either side of her.</p><p>Deciding to give her co-conspirators a break from having to keep up appearances for the crew’s sake, she turned to Kaiden and asked him about his biotics. There, that ought to keep him talking for the duration of the meal. And it did.</p><p>He explained all about his L2 implant, and how lucky he was to not have that many side effects, as well as explaining some of his training at BAat. He kept sneaking her looks, and smiling at her when she asked him a question. Flirting with her in front of the boss, ballsy move, Kaiden, she thought. Shepard was paying attention too, and she noticed his shoulders stiffening and him shooting annoyed looks at Kaiden.</p><p>What was going on here?</p><p>She knew she was considered quite attractive, at least at home, and men would hit on her when she went out, or even at the grocery store sometimes. She made it a point not to date anyone at work, knowing it would be awkward if it didn’t work out, but she did take home the occasional guy from the bar. It was usually a one-time thing, but it sometimes lead to something a little more long term. Most of the guys were nice, but none of them had rocked her world or made her change her priorities in life enough for her to consider a serious relationship. She’d been too focused on other things, like work. And then her parents had died, and she just didn’t have the energy to get involved with anyone.</p><p>She’d been so worried about being here and focused on the mission at hand, that she hadn’t thought at all about what it would be like to live here. Maybe for the rest of her life, even, if she couldn’t get back to her own time. She’d have to give that some real thought, and probably sooner rather than later. If things went according to plan, she’d be on this ship for the better part of a year at least.</p><p>Until the Collectors blew it up.</p><p>She hoped she could stop that from happening too, or at least save Shepard.</p><p>Definitely save Shepard.</p><p>She looked at him again then, sitting opposite her, eating his meal, staring daggers at Kaiden and smiling at her. She gave him a bright smile and a cheeky wink, and he gave her a surprised, but pleased look. Kaiden couldn’t have missed the confident smirk he sent his way either.</p><p>Deciding she had caused them enough trouble for the day, she excused herself and asked Captain Anderson for permission to return to her quarters and get some shut eye.</p><p>Once she saw her cot, the day caught up with her and she realized how tired she was. She quickly changed out of her uniform and crawled into bed. They would be ready for the mission on Eden Prime tomorrow, and her future depended on it as much as theirs did. She fell asleep quickly, but spent most of the night tossing and turning, one nightmare after another about what could go wrong.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Eden Prime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Normandy reaches Eden Prime and find out if Alyssa's telling the truth.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was her omni-tool beeping that woke her up again. Alyssa felt exhausted, knowing she hadn’t slept well, but unable to self-soothe the nightmares away. She checked the omni-tool and saw that it was 07:00 AM on the ship and knew they would start the mission in a few hours.</p><p>So, she was still on the ship, then. Huh.</p><p>She realized that she was actually excited to get up and found her energy returning as she sorted through what she would be doing today. In her mind, she was by now quite sure that she was going to be proven right about the situation on Eden Prime, and she recognized the feeling she had as the same one she had experienced at work occasionally, when she was about to see the results of her analysis and tactics play out in the field.</p><p>Using her mental momentum to shake off the worst of her fatigue, she stood and started her morning routine. Bathroom, then breakfast. She didn’t have any real work yet, and the only people who could send her messages were Anderson, Nihlus and Shepard, and none of them had sent her anything. She wasn’t sure what to do after she had breakfast, and she found herself taking a lot of time to finish her meal, delaying the inevitable awkwardness of not having a job to do.</p><p>Shepard came to find her in the mess hall before she finished the slowest breakfast on Earth – or in space, for that matter.</p><p>“Good, you’re here,” he said, sitting down opposite her.</p><p>“You’re in the comms room today, observing the mission with Captain Anderson. You’ll be able to support remotely and see first-hand what’s happening. After all your input yesterday, we didn’t feel it was fair for you to wait in your quarters until we came back.” He smiled at her warmly and must have seen the look of relief on her face, because he chuckled and said: “Worried about that, weren’t you, Alyssa?”</p><p>She <i>had</i> been worried about it, wanting to be able to see for herself how they were doing, and if the revised tactics would help. If what she had told them yesterday helped them today. She didn’t want to await the outcome of the mission in her quarters, like a prisoner awaiting sentencing.</p><p>So she smiled brightly at him. “Thank you for being so considerate. I would have been beside myself with worry all day if I couldn’t observe your progress.”</p><p>He leaned over the table with a conspiratorial wink and said: “For what it’s worth, I believe everything you told us yesterday and I’ll feel better knowing you have our backs up here while we’re down there.”</p><p>Warmth spread through her body at his declaration and, unfortunately, up her face as well, as she blushed and smiled at him like a damn fool. Shepard believing her was a big deal.</p><p>He seemed to realize it too, grinning as he moved back and out of his chair.</p><p>“Come on, Red, let’s go.”</p><p>She followed him out of the mess hall, before asking: “'Red', really, that’s what you’re going with? How original.”</p><p>He smiled at her before replying: “Well, feel free to tell people it’s because of your hair and not the color on your cheeks just now. That’ll be our little secret.” He reached up and brushed her cheek with his fingertips.</p><p>Great, now she’d never stop blushing. Damn him.</p><p>Tall, dark and handsome just kept walking next to her, very pleased with himself. Maybe this is what he needed before a mission. If so, she’d happily be the object of his flirting. Forcing herself not to let her thoughts wander further down that path, she suppressed the quick question of what he would look like naked, and focused instead on putting her poker face back on before entering the comms room. She wasn’t sure she really succeeded, but both men already in the room were too busy focusing on the screens in front of them to notice anything was amiss.</p><p>She entered on Shepard’s heels and Captain Anderson and Nihlus turned in their direction.</p><p>“Good morning, thanks for joining us. We haven’t received any new intel, so we’ll proceed with the plan we devised yesterday. We’ll need to brief Alenko after this as well, but let’s limit it to the mission only. He doesn’t need to know any more than that,” Captain Anderson said, bringing them up to speed.</p><p>Then Nihlus stepped in and said: “Actually, Commander Shepard, in all of yesterday’s discussions, we failed to include a key secondary objective of today’s mission. I am to evaluate you for admittance to the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance program. If accepted, you are to be the first Human Spectre.”</p><p>Shepard looked surprised, but pleased, and turned to a proud looking Anderson, who assured him that he would be the ideal candidate and would represent Humanity well.</p><p>Turning to Alyssa, he smiled before shaking his head. “It seems I’m the only one that didn’t know. Care to tell me how I’ll do?”</p><p> Remembering his earlier flirting, she decided to tease him a little. “Well, it’s between you and a particularly attractive Hanar on who the next Spectre will be, so I’d say you’ve at least got a shot.”</p><p>They all laughed at the mental image of a Hanar Spectre before being interrupted by Joker’s voice: “Captain, we’ve got a problem. Transmission from Eden Prime. You better see this.”</p><p>All of them turned to her then, and she nodded. Another tick in the ‘telling-the-truth’ box.</p><p>“Bring it up on screen,” Captain Anderson ordered Joker.</p><p>They all looked at the footage that Alyssa was so familiar with, Anderson pausing on the split-second image of Sovereign. Swallowing before turning to her, he said: “Glad we decided to believe you. Holy hell, that thing is much bigger than I thought it would be. Alright, grab your gear and Alenko and go. Alyssa, you’re staying with me. I’ll upgrade your system access, so you can help support the ground team.”</p><p>She nodded, glad to both be proven right and to be given the opportunity to help. “Thank you, sir, I’m ready.”</p><p>Then, turning to Nihlus and Shepard, she added: “Be careful, trust each other and don’t let the husks swarm you.” She gave Shepard a small forearm squeeze in lieu of the hug she actually wanted to give him.</p><p>Shepard smirked his cocky smile at her and whispered in her ear.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Red, we’ve got this.”</p><p>And then they were gone, leaving her with Captain Anderson. He was watching her, a shrewd look on his face, and then asked the question he had apparently been thinking about for a while:</p><p>“How important is Commander John Shepard?”</p><p>She considered him carefully. Everything she knew about him indicated he could be trusted. He was close to Shepard and would end up dying to get him where he needed to be to end the war.</p><p>Mind made up, she replied: “Without him, we lose. He unites the galaxy against the Reapers, disables threat after threat to delay the inevitable invasion, then buys us enough time for him to destroy the Reapers personally. Every person in the galaxy will know his name and owe him a debt they can never repay.”</p><p>She shook her head, sadness clouding her eyes as she added: “And it will cost him everything. He needs a team, on the Normandy and off it, if he’s going to succeed and save us all. He needs your help, Admiral Hackett’s and a whole list of people that can use their influence to prepare the galaxy for invasion. The Council won’t help until it’s too late.”</p><p>He sighed, the gravity of the situation sinking in.</p><p>Alyssa continued. “I have some ideas on what our next steps might be, but before we get into all that, let’s focus on today.”</p><p>Captain Anderson nodded gravely, and then moved to put his arm on her shoulder.</p><p>“You know, it occurred to me that you’re here all by yourself, you don’t know anyone and are, for all intents and purposes, lost in time and instead of despairing or spiraling into a depression, you decided to help us. You’re carrying a heavy burden yourself, Alyssa. Take care of yourself and know that you can ask me for help when you need it. And,” he added with a paternal smile, “I think Shepard would be willing to help too. He seems quite taken with you and argued fiercely in your defense yesterday.” He offered her a warm smile before turning to focus on the screen.</p><p>Before she could dwell on that statement any longer, Joker interrupted via comms to tell them the ground team had landed and had started their assault. They turned to the screens in front of them and Captain Anderson asked Joker to put the audio through. Alyssa and Anderson both slipped into business mode, assessing the images as they came in, checking the vitals displayed in a separate screen and footage from the helmet cams up on the main screens.</p><p>Plenty of Geth drones came at them, but they were prepared and between the three of them, they didn’t present any real threat to the team. Alyssa sighed a breath of relief. So far, so good.</p><p>The ground team was able to reach Ashley Williams’ position without issues, and she joined them in their push to the excavation site, eliminating Geth along the way. Unsurprisingly, the beacon had been moved, and the team continued to their next objective, the Eden Prime spaceport.</p><p>On their way the team spotted the dragon’s teeth, which is what the spikes that turned people into husks were called, and then encountered their first husks. Even though Nihlus and Shepard were prepared, it took them a quick minute to overcome their revulsion before they started coolly dispatching them. Kaiden and Ashley seemed more rattled, and she could see his heart rate going up when the spikes started coming down, releasing their once-Human victims. Seeing it on screen wasn’t quite as bad, but knowing they were actual people instead of video game inventions made her feel ill all the same.</p><p>They managed to rescue the people stuck in the shipping containers, and Alyssa recognized the signs of indoctrination in the doctor’s assistant when the team talked to them.<br/>
Once all four of them arrived at the space port, their cams captured Sovereign taking off. The team was moving, and they found Powell, the lazy smuggler, in his hiding place. He could only confirm he saw a Turian come through, seemingly directing the Geth.</p><p>The team pushed ahead, efficiently working together, cataloguing what they found, and providing updates to Anderson and herself. Once they were on the train, Anderson took a moment to look at her. He grabbed her hand in his, squeezed and thanked her for her help.</p><p>“Hey, Red, you called it, thanks for saving our bacon. I owe you one. Drinks on me on our next shore leave,” Shepard’s voice came in over comms. She smiled at the warmth in his voice, before lightly admonishing him that they weren’t out of the woods yet.</p><p>“Don’t get any ideas, Shepard, you haven’t finished your mission. There are bombs and more than a few Geth still ahead. Watch out for the snipers.”</p><p>“Affirmative, ma’am,” he replied, before Nihlus cut in. “We’re here. Williams on point. Let’s move.”</p><p>The bombs were disabled one by one, and while the team encountered heavy resistance, having Nihlus there made it faster and safer. Focusing on his camera for a while, she was in awe at his efficiency. Each shot counted and he knew how to position himself for maximum oversight of the battle.</p><p>They weren’t kidding with the whole ‘best Spectre in the galaxy’ thing, she thought. Jeez, that was impressive.</p><p>And then they reached the platform with the beacon. They’d discussed this at length and decided, that since the information was important, and there was no lasting damage to Shepard, he would interact with it and receive the warning. She heard rather than saw him take a big breath before walking over to the beacon.</p><p>“You sure about this, Red?” he asked her quietly.</p><p>“You’re gonna be fine, Shepard. It’s just a 50,000 year old message from a long-gone race, what are you worried about? You’ll have one hell of a headache, but then later you get to mind meld with a cute Asari, so it’s all good. Haven’t I been right all day today?” she quipped, hoping to settle his nerves.</p><p>“Alright, but that Asari better be cute or I’m coming after you.”</p><p>And then, without further delay, he stepped up to the beacon and she could see it grip him through Kaiden’s camera.</p><p>Holy cow, that looked painful. She physically flinched as the beacon exploded and threw him back into the platform. Now all she could do was wait until they got back onboard.</p><p>Captain Anderson clapped her on the shoulder. “We owe you, Alyssa, well done. Now get some food before they get back and we’ll let Doctor Chakwas patch up Shepard. Oh, and I’ll have your restrictions lifted. I want you on the Normandy as long as it takes to win this thing. I’ll have to call in a few favors, but I’ll make it work.”</p><p>He looked relieved. She realized it wasn’t easy for him to let his men go into battle. After everything he himself had been through, he worried about the people under his command. It endeared him to her even more.</p><p>“Thanks, sir. I’m glad you took a chance on me and I’m glad it’s paying off. May I join you when the team comes back?” she said, feeling relieved and proud at the same time.</p><p>“Of course, you’ve earned it, Alyssa.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Back In One Piece, Mostly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ashley joins the Normandy crew and Alyssa settles in to her new normal as the Normandy travels back to the Citadel.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the team came back, she was waiting for them with Captain Anderson at the door. Kaiden and Nihlus were dragging an unconscious Shepard straight to the med bay, and Ashley looked around, uncertain about what to do next. Noticing Anderson, she saluted smartly, then stood at attention.</p><p>“At ease, Gunnery Chief Williams. Welcome aboard and thanks for your help down there. I’d like to add you to the Normandy’s crew, we can always use a good soldier,” Anderson said.</p><p>“Thank you, sir, I would like that. I’ll get situated immediately. Please let me know when you need me to debrief,” she responded promptly and professionally.</p><p>Again, Alyssa was struck by how odd it was to meet someone in real life that she had only even seen in a computer game. She wasn’t a big Ashley fan. But she would get the chance to get to know her while she was on the ship, and hopefully it wouldn’t be that bad. And if it was, well, she didn’t have to like everyone.</p><p>She moved to the med bay, with Captain Anderson splitting off to go to his cabin. As she approached, she found Nihlus and Kaiden waiting outside. Before Kaiden could approach, Nihlus spotted her and steered her down the hall, to a more private spot.</p><p>“Alyssa, I, eh, want to say thank you, for saving my life. Everything else happened just as you said. I’m grateful and need you to know that if you ever need my help, you’ve only to ask.” He looked a bit embarrassed, but his words were kind and sincere.</p><p>“I’m very happy to see you here, Nihlus, alive and well. I’m glad you were patient enough to listen to my crazy story, and I’m really glad the tactical plan worked and you were all able to come back.” </p><p>She reached out to him and gave him a hug, aiming high, careful not to touch his waist, knowing it was a special area for Turians. It took him a second, but then he hugged her back.</p><p>“Go get cleaned up, I’ll wait for Shepard to wake up.” She nudged him in the direction of his quarters and he took the hint, letting her go and turning to leave.</p><p>As she was walking back to med bay, Kaiden approached.</p><p>“I don’t know what happened down there, Alyssa, but it seemed like Nihlus and Shepard were expecting all of it. Your intel was off the charts good, I can’t believe I’ve never heard of you before. I’m usually pretty well connected. Worried about the commander though, the beacon did something funny before dropping him on his head,” Kaiden said, looking at her with a thoughtful look in his eyes. Too sharp by half, that man, she mused.</p><p>“I’m sure Commander Shepard will be fine, and will just have a headache for his troubles. If you want to go clean up, I’ll keep an eye out. I’m sure they’ll contact you when they want to debrief,” she told him, ignoring his baiting about not hearing about her before. After all, she didn’t decide who got read in on her circumstances or when.</p><p>He nodded, probably grateful for the chance to shower and rest up before debriefing.</p><p>And then she was left standing in front of the med bay doors by herself.</p><p>She entered the med bay, looking for Doctor Chakwas.</p><p>“And who might you be?” came the Doctor’s voice as soon as she entered. “I’m working on my patient and I don’t appreciate people just walking in like they own the place.” Sharp and to the point, she thought, smiling, before realizing that was an inappropriate response to chastisement.</p><p>“Apologies Doctor Chakwas, I’m Alyssa Adams, I was supporting Captain Anderson with today’s ground mission. It’s my fault the Commander is in here, can you let me know how he’s doing?” she responded, framing her answer carefully, explaining why she was there, even if Chakwas didn’t know her.</p><p>“Be that as it may, miss Adams, if you are not a medical professional, I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait outside until I’m done with my work here,” she responded, not swayed by Alyssa’s response.</p><p>At that point, however, Shepard stirred and both women immediately focused on him instead of each other.</p><p>Shepard opened his eyes, and looked from one woman to the other before smiling at Alyssa and saying: “I think you were right, Red, one hell of a headache. Can’t say you didn’t warn me.”</p><p>Alyssa gave him a warm smile, and couldn’t help a relieved sigh leaving her at the sight of him awake and apparently in good spirits.</p><p>Doctor Chakwas frowned and moved to his side, getting more readings and explaining her findings to him. It seemed that if he wouldn’t ask Alyssa to go, she wouldn’t either. When the Doctor was done examining him and explaining what happened to him, his only question was if he could leave already. Apparently he wasn't a fan of being stuck in the med bay. Chakwas assured him it should be fine, warned him to take it easy, then moved to her work station and focused on her terminal.</p><p>“Give us a hand here, Red, would you? I’m a bit woozy from your beacon,” he quipped.</p><p>Head must be fine if he was up to cracking jokes already, she thought.</p><p>“My beacon, my ass, Shepard. I told you exactly what you’d be getting into,” she joked back, slipping her arm around his waist to keep him steady as she walked him out the door. He put his arm across her shoulders and they made their way over to his quarters.</p><p>It seemed the XO also got private quarters, she noticed as she entered. Very military looking, there weren’t a lot of personal items. She did see a picture on his desk, but didn’t want to pry, and there was a small model ship too, in mid-build phase, by the looks of it. A smile crept over her face at the sight of it.</p><p>“Where do you wanna go?” she asked him once they were inside.</p><p>“Drop me on the bed. I think I need a nap before debriefing,” he said.</p><p>“Alright, need a hand or can you manage by yourself?” she asked as he still didn’t seem steady on his feet.</p><p>“Are you offering to undress me, Red, because I don’t think I have it in me to say no to that,” was his immediate reply. Definitely didn’t hit his head hard enough, she thought. But then he seemed to sway on his bed before gripping the edge with both hands.</p><p>“See what you get, funny guy? I don’t even have to touch you to make you swoon. Hang on.” And with that, she dropped to her knees to remove his boots, and then started to unbuckle his armor, leaving his under-armor on for the moment. Carefully, she moved him onto the bed on his back, and tucked him in. As she moved away from the bed, he grabbed her hand with his.</p><p>“Thanks, Red, for taking such good care of me. Tell Captain Anderson I’ll be ready in a few hours, he’ll understand.”</p><p>“Will do, try and get some rest. You did good, Shepard, you can be proud of yourself for how you handled things today.” Alyssa smiled, removed her hand from his, and left his quarters.</p><p>***</p><p>She ended up going back to her quarters, for lack of a better idea. She started thinking about what they would need to do with the Council hearing, and how to utilize Nihlus now that the new resource presented itself. It would be a shame to just keep him on the Normandy when she knew Shepard and the crew could handle it. Having an experienced Spectre on their side was a real benefit, they just needed to figure out how best to use him. And they needed to keep Saren in the dark as much as possible. And neutralize that annoying blowhard Donnel Udina.</p><p>And then there were the companions they would be picking up at the Citadel. Helping Tali brought them evidence on Matriarch Benezia and would steer them in Liara’s direction. Alyssa was fond of Tali, the Quarian was kind, smart and resourceful.<br/>
They’d also pick up Wrex, the old Krogan Battlemaster, who was gruff and tough and had a grand vision for his people’s future.<br/>
And of course Garrus would be there as well, getting frustrated because his investigation into Saren wasn’t going anywhere. Just the thought of him gave her butterflies in her stomach, and some decidedly less innocent feelings in other parts of her body.</p><p>Spending some time in close quarters with Nihlus, and hugging him earlier, had really driven home how much larger Turians were than Humans. And she was pretty tall for a woman, but Nihlus easily dwarfed her. Garrus would too, she was sure.</p><p>Thinking about all of them joining the Normandy soon, she was excited at the prospect of meeting them in the flesh and for getting the opportunity to actually live with them on the ship on a daily basis. There would be many more chances to talk to them, get to know them beyond the limits of the game. Maybe they could be friends. The thought struck her. She wouldn’t feel alone if she had friends.</p><p>She hadn’t really allowed herself too much time to think about her life back home. Her friends would notice that she was missing, and work would raise the alarm and investigate, but of course they wouldn’t find anything. She’d vanished without a trace. God, they would be so worried. Maybe it was a good thing her parents were dead. Her disappearance would have ruined them. Her friends hurting saddened her and she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t help them either, she had no way of getting back that she knew of, and the longer she stayed here, the more real it seemed. Of course, there hadn’t been any real build-up or warning to her getting here, so maybe going back would go the same way. Just mid-activity, start shimmering and be back in her kitchen.</p><p>The thought didn’t make her as happy as she thought it should. Wait, did she want to go back? She should want to, that was her life, back there, with her friends, and her job and her apartment.</p><p>A more treacherous thought slid in at that point: Her life was also predictable, and boring, and small. She could do so much more here, make a real impact and be part of something really exciting. Dangerous, sure, but amazing as well. It felt more vibrant and real here. She felt more alive here. She didn’t want to go back, certainly not anytime soon. She wanted an adventure first. With real aliens and real lives and real choices.</p><p>She loved the new, but familiar feeling she got from everything around her, walking around this ship with its crew that she didn’t know yet. She’d helped save Nihlus and Jenkins today, that was an amazing feeling. She didn’t want that feeling to end. She wanted to keep helping, keep making a difference. And so, even though she should be feeling sad, or scared or helpless in her predicament, she was actually feeling excited and grateful and she was looking forward to what came next. Please stupid shimmer, don’t send me home yet, she pleaded silently. She wasn’t ready. She wanted this adventure to continue.</p><p>***</p><p>Debrief with the whole team, including Kaiden and Ashley, happened later that evening. Both Anderson and Alyssa had been monitoring closely during the mission, so there wasn’t a lot of new information to be had from the ground team. They didn’t discuss what had happened with the beacon with the whole team, leaving that for later when Kaiden and Ashley wouldn’t be there.</p><p>It seemed Kaiden was helping Ashley settle in, giving her a tour of the ship and introducing her around. It was a nice gesture on his part, and Ashley appeared appreciative. Once the debrief was over, both left the comms room without further comment. Two career soldiers, they understood that some things were above their pay grade.</p><p>And then they were back to their original four: Nihlus, Captain Anderson, Shepard and Alyssa.</p><p>“So, Shepard, I think you should start. What did the beacon do?” Captain Anderson suggested.</p><p>“I don’t know quite how to explain it. It’s kind of like a dream, a vision or something, but I’m only getting fragments, it’s not clear, like it’s jumbled up somehow,” Shepard started, looking pained. “Fragments of destruction, screams, and war. I can’t seem to put together a coherent story. If it is a warning, like Alyssa says, I can’t see it,” he finished with a sigh. It was clear he felt frustrated.</p><p>“You can’t see the warning, because you don’t have the language to understand it. Protheans made it, so you need a Prothean Cipher to understand it. We’ll get it on a later mission, I promise. It’ll help then,” Alyssa tried to reassure him.</p><p>“We need to agree on what to do next. Obviously we need to discuss the Eden Prime mission with the Council. Let me tell you what I know,” she continued.</p><p>And she told them about how Udina behaved like a rabid dog, how the Council dismissed an eyewitness account of Saren shooting Nihlus. Nihlus couldn’t stop a sharp wince, and Alyssa reached out to give him a sympathetic pat on his arm. And she continued explaining how after the meeting, they decided to bench Anderson and put Shepard in charge of the Normandy, because of Saren and Anderson’s history. About finding allies who would join them in the fight against Saren that they would need, not just now, but also to help in the future.</p><p>She wasn’t sure how much into the future they would need to go at the moment, so she stuck to the immediate future, focusing on the Council’s reaction.</p><p>“We have no evidence that Saren is involved other than my word, and that is not going to cut it. We don’t want to make a fool of ourselves, Udina has that angle more than covered,” she said. That arrogant, dismissive, jumped-up asshole.</p><p>“Nihlus, you have more experience with the Council than any of us. What would be the right approach?” she invited him to participate, because she’d be damned if she was going to come up with the game plan by herself.</p><p>He looked pensive and took a while to respond.</p><p>Finally he said: “We should present the evidence we have of the Geth attacking as well as the video footage of Sovereign. We won’t tell them what it is, as we technically shouldn’t know and can’t prove anything yet, but it should be enough to convince them there’s a real threat executing an as yet unknown agenda. We don’t mention Saren at all, and hope if he doesn’t know we’re tracking him, he’ll make a mistake we can use against him.” He looked more certain now, a plan forming.</p><p>“The Council should give us leave to investigate the Geth threat, and when they give me the assignment, I’ll recommend the involvement of the Normandy and its crew. I’m still evaluating Shepard after all, for the Spectres,” Nihlus continued, explaining his thoughts.</p><p>Alyssa added: “Captain, I know you won’t like it, but I think we need to you to stay on the Citadel and keep a close eye on Udina. We need to neutralize his influence and get him away from any position of power. You’re the only one we can trust who won’t underestimate him and who knows what’s at stake. Shepard can handle the Normandy, sir, you know that.”</p><p>Nihlus nodded in agreement. “Having someone on the Citadel that can support remotely will be invaluable, Captain. I agree with Alyssa’s assessment. In addition, when we do track down Saren and find the evidence we need, it won’t be tainted by your shared past. It’s a sound tactic, Sir.”</p><p>Shepard was looking at Captain Anderson, obviously letting the man make up his own mind and not feeling the need to weigh in either way.</p><p>Resignation on his face, Anderson nodded with a sigh. “I don’t care much for politics, god help me, but you’re right, I can keep an eye on that sneaky son of a bitch and help you when you need it.”</p><p>One down, one to go, she thought.</p><p>Alyssa tilted her head to Anderson in thanks, then looked at Nihlus and said: “I’d like to propose one more thing. Shepard should run the Normandy by himself and chase after Saren. We need you for something else. There are some real issues down the road that we may be able to prepare for. It would prevent losses and leave us in a stronger position down the road. With your Spectre status and skills, we’d be able to make a real difference.”</p><p>Nihlus looked intrigued, mandibles twitching. “What did you have in mind?”</p><p>“I need you to convince professor Mordin Solus, former Salarian Special Tasks Group, to help us. He’s the geneticist that ends up curing the Genophage. He’ll die in the attempt though, and I want to make sure that doesn’t happen. I’ll give you all the details, but he respects Spectres, can handle himself in a fight and loves solving puzzles. This will be right up his alley. We need him now, not three years from now,” she said, smiling up at him, hoping he would like the challenge.</p><p>“You want me to go to the Salarians and find a way to convince one of them to join us? That’s a tall order, Alyssa. Do you even know where he is?” He asked her, shaking his head.</p><p>“Odds are he’s on Omega, running a clinic there, although I’m not sure on the actual timing. He’s trying to atone for his modification of the Genophage and starting to have some doubts about his past choices. He wants to help people, though, so try appealing to his better nature,” she replied.</p><p>“Cerberus was able to convince him, and you’re much more charming than the Illusive Man,” she teased him, giving him a wink. “If you can also bring Padok Wicks, they’d be able to work together and really help give us a fighting chance. It’s likely Mordin knows him, he’s still part of STG,” she added.</p><p>Nihlus shook his head at her teasing, but then agreed: “I’ll hunt down your Salarians and get them to join us. Divide and conquer, right, Alyssa?”</p><p>“Do we all agree?” she asked, looking around the room. Each man nodded in turn.</p><p>“Alright, that just leaves us with the question of what to do with you, Alyssa,” Shepard said with a serious look on his face.</p><p>“Obviously, you can’t be in the Council meeting. No one knows who you are and we don’t want to tip our hand or put you in danger. Same goes when we start investigating leads on Saren on the Citadel. You’re not a soldier. You’re not weapons trained either, at least for any current gear. And with what you told me, there will be some firefights to get what we need. I don’t feel comfortable putting you in a position where you might get hurt. If you die, we lose our advantage completely,” Shepard finished his statement.</p><p>Damn him, she sighed, knowing he was right. She was useless for anything but intel at the moment.</p><p>Captain Anderson came to the rescue, folding his arms and looking around the room.</p><p>“I may be able to help with that. I’m working through the red tape that will get you the access you need. You’ll be an intelligence specialist assigned to the Normandy, at the sole discretion of the ship’s commanding officer. So you’ll be able to disembark and move around on the Citadel without C-Sec interference. You’ll come with me after the meeting with the Council and I’ll get you weapons certified by an Alliance approved trainer. Me. I’ll even scrounge you up some decent armor, so you won’t be completely helpless,” he finished proudly.</p><p>“Any skills you need to develop to bring you up to speed, will be done on the Normandy when we return from our business on the Citadel. Every person on this ship needs to be able to defend themselves and our crew, even intelligence specialists. We’ll set you up with the right training program, Alyssa,” Shepard added, receiving an approving look from Anderson.</p><p>“That sounds wonderful, thank you both so much,” was really the only thing she could say.</p><p>“Okay folks, meeting adjourned. It’s late and I need my beauty sleep,” Captain Anderson said.</p><p>Alyssa returned to her quarters, exhausted by the day’s events. As she got ready for bed, she realized she couldn’t stop grinning. She was looking forward to the next few days, wondering how things would go, and about finally meeting some of the people she was most looking forward to.</p><p>She was going on an adventure. Look at me, Bilbo Baggins in space, she thought with a smile. She fell asleep with that smile on her face, and slept well, her reward for a good day’s work.</p><p>***</p><p>She spent the next few days staying busy, as the ship made its way back to the Citadel. Shepard had apparently assigned himself to be her training officer or something, because she spent all day with him explaining everything involved with life on the ship, including the rules and regulations (boring, but useful), as well as how things worked in the Alliance. With her upgraded access came the extranet and various other uses and communications methods, all of which were new to her.</p><p>Shepard displayed infinite patience and turned out to be knowledgeable about anything and everything she asked him about. It wasn’t her first glimpse into the professional she knew him to be, but his meticulousness and attention to detail still surprised her.</p><p>She absorbed all the new information eagerly, bookmarking things to try out later by herself, and found herself deeply enjoying the time they spent together and his easy going manner.</p><p>“You should take some time to get to know the crew,” Shepard said, as they were moving to the mess hall for dinner.</p><p>“It’s a small vessel, with a small crew, and as we spend more time away from home and with each other, having solid friendships helps stave off the loneliness and restlessness that comes from being on a ship for extended periods. It can be stressful, so you’ll need to find ways to deal with that. Anything that negatively impacts you, impacts the ship and its crew. It can be tough and takes some getting used to. Just remember I’m here if you need me, Red,” he told her.</p><p>“That’s good advice, thanks. How do you deal with it? Don’t you get stir crazy after a while?” she asked him, turning so she could gauge his reaction.</p><p>“I grew up on spaceships, I’ve never known anything else. Both my parents were in the Alliance, my mom’s the XO on a dreadnought. My dad passed away a few years ago, but mom and I stay in touch. For me, the hum of the engine beneath my feet means I’m home,” he answered with a wistful look on his face.</p><p>She couldn’t help but smile up at him, grateful he would share something so personal with her.</p><p>“What about you, in all the craziness, I didn’t think to ask you about your family, or what life was like before you came here?” he asked her as they sat down with their food at a table separated from the rest of the crew.</p><p>“Not much to tell, I’m afraid. My parents died in a car crash a few years back. Driving back from a party, a drunk driver crashed into them and they died on impact. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, so I’m the only one left.”</p><p>He reached out across the table and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry, Alyssa, I didn’t mean to pry or make you sad.”</p><p>“Thanks, but I’m okay. I ended up throwing myself into my job and I had my friends to keep me sane. Mostly I just worked or spent time with them. A lot less exciting than flying through space and meeting aliens,” she smiled, attempting to lighten the mood.</p><p>Thankfully, he took the out she offered him and he changed subjects.</p><p>He gave her a conspiratorial wink, and then dropped his voice to a whisper as he said: “If you’re in the market for new friends, try Joker first, he knows everything there is to know about everybody on board. He can help you suss out who’s worth hanging out with. Just a friendly warning though - don’t let him send you any links to the extranet. You do not want to know some of the stuff he’s sent me. Gave me nightmares.” He fake-shuddered at the last remark and she was laughing with him.</p><p>“Oh, poor Shepard can’t handle a bit of porn? Are people such prudes in the 22nd century?” she teased him, now really enjoying herself.</p><p>“Hey, not a prude, Red, but honestly, I could live out the rest of my life a happy man if I never have to see an Elcor and a Hanar get it on.”</p><p>“Aroused, fervently,” she intoned in the Elcor monotone and Shepard almost choked on his drink, covering his mouth to stop the liquid from spilling.</p><p>“Joker is going to love you,” he laughed when he was finally able to talk.</p><p>She was having fun, and it was just what she needed. And what he needed too, if he was to survive the next few years.</p><p>***</p><p>The next day, she decided to follow Shepard’s advice and get to know some of the crew. Her first stop was indeed Joker, who was holed up in the cockpit of the Normandy, in what she recalled was a functional, if not comfortable chair. She remembered him raving about the one in the SR-2 as being vastly superior to this one, and she made a mental note to see if they could give him an upgrade. Surely with his brittle bones, the additional expense would be worth it, if it could increase his efficiency.</p><p>“Hey, you’re Joker, right? Best pilot in the Alliance? I’m Alyssa Adams, nice to meet you,” she said as she approached him.</p><p>“Pretty and smart, are you sure you’re in Alliance Intelligence?” He joked and she laughed as she carefully shook his hand.</p><p>“Thanks for that,” he responded with a nod to their hands clasping, “can’t tell you how many military folks come through here and end up almost breaking my finger. Shepard told you?”</p><p>“Something like that,” she smiled. “I hope I’m not disturbing you, but I was hoping for a chat.”</p><p>“Not at all, don’t tell anyone, but the Normandy mostly flies itself,” he said, turning his head around as if to check for anyone listening nearby.</p><p>“Not sure how to tell you, buddy, but I think you’re not the only one that knows about the autopilot,” and now she was really laughing and so was he.</p><p>“I like you, you’re funny. So what’s up, is this a social call or can I help with anything? Or, wait, are you secretly investigating me for something, is the Alliance finally on to me?”</p><p>“Why yes, flight lieutenant Moreau, I am in fact investigating an unusually large amount of questionable extranet material found on the Normandy’s servers. Upon further investigation, I’ve found that some of that material has been used to upset and destabilize key members of this crew. As you know, that is a serious violation of Alliance regulations and as such, you may be facing harsh disciplinary action,” she told him with as much of a straight face as she could manage.</p><p>He looked at her with a shell-shocked expression, and then his eyes narrowed as he saw her trying not to laugh.</p><p>“Oh my god, you totally had me for a second. Destabilizing key members of the crew, that is way too funny.” He was cracking up, and so was she. Ice firmly broken, she relayed the story of talking to Shepard about him and they shared another laugh.</p><p>“You know, the Commander is too serious for his own good sometimes,” Joker said.</p><p>“I know, that’s why I think it’s a great idea if you keep sending him questionable porn, it’s just the right thing for him to get upset about without it adding to his stress,” she replied, and just like that, a conspiracy was born.</p><p>They spent some time going over acceptable options, the two of them laughing like old friends. Eventually, Shepard came up to investigate what was going on, and found them both draped across each other’s shoulders, laughing at something only they could see on a screen, tears of amusement in both their eyes.</p><p>“I’m getting noise complaints from the folks out in the CIC,” he told them with a puzzled frown. “What are you guys up to?”</p><p>“Nothing, sir, I just took your advice about making friends. Works like a charm,” she added with a big grin to Joker. “We didn’t know we were bothering anyone. Sorry about that,” she gave Shepard an apologetic look and continued: “I should probably get going, I want to get some exercise in before dinner.”</p><p>“Come see me anytime, Alyssa, and thanks for stopping by. Very inspirational,” Joker replied as she left her seat. They both chuckled and then fell into hysterics again as they looked at a non-plussed Shepard.</p><p>Shepard shook his head as he walked her out of the cockpit.</p><p>“So, looks like you’re making friends,” he said as they went through the CIC.</p><p>“Joker’s an easy friend to make,” she responded, smiling fondly.</p><p>“Agreed. Did you want to exercise by yourself?” he added, changing the topic. “If you can wait an hour, I’m off shift and can join you, if you like.”</p><p>“I’d like that, you can show me the ropes. I’m guessing there’s more than just stamina required for a soldier and I’m afraid at the moment, I’m more desk jockey than anything else,” Alyssa replied.</p><p>“Good, I’ll see you in the cargo bay in an hour then. I’ll put you through your paces,” he added ominously.</p><p>“Perfect! See you then.”</p><p>***</p><p>Exercising turned out to be fun.</p><p>After warming up, Shepard invited her to spar with him. They set up the mats and agreed on the rules. She told him she wasn’t that good at hand-to-hand combat. It was part of her mandatory training and she was evaluated for it annually, but not being a field agent meant she didn’t use her skills often. Compared to an experienced soldier like Shepard, she was a novice.</p><p>He laughed and said he would take it easy on her and teach her if she wanted him to. Thinking that life on board of the Normandy would be more dangerous than riding a desk at Langley, she accepted his kind offer happily.</p><p>He’d changed into his N7 tank top and sweatpants, which showed off his muscular arms. Very nice arms, she observed with an appreciative smile. As if he could read her mind, or perhaps just because he saw what she was looking at, he smirked at her and flexed his arms. </p><p>“See something you like?” he teased her.</p><p>Instead of answering, she unzipped her hoodie, turned her back to him and dropped it next to the mats. She was wearing a black tank top as well, and while the hoodie had covered her ass in the leggings she wore, this was decidedly not the case now. It was his turn to stare as she smirked at him.</p><p>“See anything <i>you</i> like?” she teased him right back.</p><p>He grinned from ear to ear and shot back: “Red, this is going to be my favorite part of the day.” Looking around, they had the place to themselves, something Shepard realized as well. His smile became even bigger and he grinned as he moved to the middle of the mats.</p><p>“Come on, Red, show me what you’ve got.”</p><p>Shepard was strong, but held back, not wanting to hurt her. He was taller, stronger and bigger than she was, and although she was 6’0 tall, he was taller still and outreached her. She was more flexible, but not fast enough, and he easily bested her, taking her down to the mats several times, each time pinning her down with his superior strength and body mass.</p><p>And taking slightly longer each time to get off her and let her get up. He was enjoying himself immensely, if the huge grin was anything to go by. But then again, so was Alyssa. Each time, he would stop and explain what she could have done better, showing her the moves she could use to counter his. And then they would practice until she got the hang of them.</p><p>Once she did, he would try something else that would floor her and pin her under him, grinning all the way. And he’d let her up again, explain what he did and how she could counter it and then they would practice some more.</p><p>They were both soaked with sweat and having a blast, the flirtatious tension ebbing and flowing as they sparred. She liked how they were getting closer, moving towards becoming friends. She was having fun and learning new things. Besides, giving in to her attraction to Shepard right now could be fun, but wouldn’t help in the long run. Her primary focus was keeping him safe. Right now, he needed a friend more than a fling, she decided.</p><p>When she started swaying slightly, he stopped the lesson and moved the mats back to their storage location.</p><p>“You did well, you’re a quick study and I think if we work on your strength and your speed, we’ll make an able fighter out of you yet.” He meant the compliment, sincerity shining through in the way he looked at her.</p><p>“Thanks, Shepard, I appreciate the lesson. I’m beat though, I need a shower, some food and a good night’s sleep. The work out you gave me will do the trick, I’m sure,” she replied.</p><p>“You go on ahead and hit the showers. I need to check my messages, so you’re on your own for dinner. Get some sleep, Red, and,” he winked at her, “anytime you want me to pin you to the floor, or you know, the wall, let me know.” </p><p>He was a hopeless flirt. She shook her head in mock exasperation but gave him a big grin before picking up her hoodie. She decided not to put it back on and sauntered to the elevator. When she turned around, he was staring after her, an appreciative smile on his face. Cold shower, she needed a very cold shower. Damn him, she thought, hiding her grin until the elevator doors had closed.</p><p>***</p><p>There was no one else in the bathroom, so she took a quick shower and then went to the mess hall to find food. She ended up sitting next to Kaiden and Ashley, the first time she’d seen them after they had come back from Eden Prime.</p><p>“Oh, hey Alyssa, good to see you again. How are you?” Kaiden asked her as she sat down with her dinner tray.</p><p>“Good, thanks for asking, Kaiden. Getting settled in, not been posted on a ship before, that’s taking some getting used to. How have you been, recovered from Eden Prime?”</p><p>“Yeah, I usually just need some rest to get my biotics back up. Still hard to wrap my head around seeing Geth, you know? And I don’t even want to think about that massive ship we saw. Who knows what that thing even was?”</p><p>Well, she did.</p><p>“Yeah, we definitely weren’t expecting Geth to show up. They tore right through my squad,” Ashley chimed in.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Ashley, I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay? That’s a lot to process in a few days,” Alyssa said and reached across the table to softly touch her hand. The movement was so natural to her, trying to comfort someone in need. Thankfully Ashley didn’t seem to mind and gave her a small smile as she squeezed her hand.</p><p>“I’ve seen friends die before, it comes with being a marine, but to see my whole unit wiped out. It’s tough,” Ashley sighed and shook her head, and Kaiden, who was sitting next to her, reached out and hugged her shoulders.</p><p>“Hey, hey, it’s alright, we’re here if you need us. Take all the time you need for this. You’re grieving, it’s natural,” he soothed her.</p><p>“I know what it feels like to lose people, Ashley, so if you ever need to talk, come find me. Grieving’s a process, you can’t rush it,” Alyssa told her with a small, sad smile.</p><p>With the two of them reassuring her, Ashley seemed to put herself together enough to continue eating, although Alyssa noted that she was picking at her food rather than actually finishing her plate.</p><p>“Thanks, guys,” Ashley replied, “I appreciate it. I didn’t mean to bring the mood down. Can we talk about something else?”</p><p>“Sure we can. What did you think about Nihlus? How cool was it to fight alongside an actual Spectre? Pretty impressive, right?” Kaiden enthused, dispelling the gloom.</p><p>“Man, it was just impressive watching it from the cam footage, he was so efficient and graceful that at one point, I wasn’t paying attention to what was happening, just how he was moving,” Alyssa shared her honest opinion.</p><p>“It was impressive, he’s obviously well trained. I’m not sure if I feel quite comfortable with him at my back though,” Ashley said with a frown.</p><p>There we go. Didn’t take long for her racism to peek through, Alyssa thought bitterly.</p><p>Alyssa pretended not to know where this was headed and asked: “You don’t trust Nihlus? Do you know something we don’t?”</p><p>“He stopped those husks from swarming all over us, Ashley, saved our lives,” Kaiden put in defensively.</p><p>“I’m just saying I feel more comfortable with Alliance people on the squad. We take care of our own, it’s only natural.”</p><p>“I think if he can serve with us, as the only non-Human on board, we can serve with him, right? Consider his position here, and him saving your life on Eden Prime, before you make snap judgments about someone based on species alone. You know, it wasn’t that long ago in Earth’s history that Humans discriminated against each other and it seems to me it’s the same damn stupid argument. It didn’t make sense then, and it sure as hell doesn’t make sense now,” Alyssa firmly told Ashley.</p><p>She had the good sense to look abashed.</p><p>“Not used to working with other species?” Alyssa asked her, mellowing out a bit.</p><p>“Not really, no,” she replied quietly.</p><p>“Well, if you don’t mind some advice, get to know them individually before judging. It’s a big galaxy, and it works a lot better when we all pull in the same direction. I’ve seen what your line of thinking gets us and it’s a zero sum game where we all lose.”</p><p>And we can’t afford it with what’s coming for us, she added in the privacy of her own head.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind, Alyssa, thanks.”</p><p>Kaiden was looking at Alyssa sheepishly, not sure how to respond to the suddenly terse exchange, apparently deciding to stay out of it entirely. She didn’t want to leave either of them on edge and she knew Ashley would change her mind eventually, but she found she had very little patience for this ugly side of the gunnery chief. And she certainly wasn’t not going to indulge her.</p><p>“Sorry if it sounds harsh, I don’t want you think it negates my earlier offer to help you. But we’re going to be facing some tough situations in the near future and I don’t want anyone to have to doubt the person standing next to them in battle. It will get people killed, and I don’t want that to happen to any of you. In fact, I’m working damn hard to make sure it doesn’t.”</p><p>They both nodded at her, and she stood up to go back to her quarters. She’d have to make sure Shepard was aware, he’d work on Ashley as well. Shepard was right, the crew of the Normandy was small, and she didn’t need Garrus, Liara or Tali to feel left out or like they were less than any other member of the crew. She didn’t think Wrex would get quite the same treatment, or that he would really care all that much if he did. Ashley wasn’t suicidal.</p><p>Retiring to her quarters, she spent a few more hours getting caught up on all things 22nd century before turning in. They’d be at the Citadel tomorrow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Council Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Where Alyssa meets Garrus Vakarian</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning found them getting ready to disembark and head out to the Citadel. Alyssa would be allowed off the ship. Captain Anderson informed her that her credentials had been arranged and she was now officially registered as an Alliance intelligence specialist assigned to the SSV Normandy.</p><p>Nihlus had arranged for the team to brief the Council on the appearance of the Geth and would take Anderson, Shepard and Ashley with him. Kaiden would stay with her, just in case something unexpected happened. They were hoping that because Udina hadn’t called the meeting, he would attend, but keep his mouth shut.</p><p>Alyssa was nervous, because she couldn’t predict the outcome of the meeting. Nihlus seemed confident, however, and she took comfort in that.</p><p>She was worried about recruiting Garrus. He was supposed to be investigating Saren based on the information C-Sec received from Udina about the Eden Prime mission, but that hadn’t happened. And if Alyssa was sure about anything, it was that they would need Garrus aboard the Normandy. She was working out how to solve that particular problem. Before long, she was going to be holding so many loose threads, her head would explode.</p><p>It was probably not a bad idea to write it all down, in case something happened to her. She’d ask Shepard about it when she got back. She didn’t know enough about the security of the systems to feel comfortable using a datapad or her omni-tool and she hadn’t seen people using paper. It would need to be secure, or she wouldn’t do it.</p><p>And then it was time. The team disembarked. Alyssa was flanked by Captain Anderson and Shepard, with Nihlus ahead of her and Kaiden and Ashley behind her. It felt like her personal Secret Service detail and she couldn’t suppress a snigger. Shepard gave her an inquiring look and she shook her head, apologizing silently. He gave her a small smile, but she could tell he was nervous about today, just like she was.</p><p>The team went straight up to the Tower, leaving Alyssa downstairs with Kaiden. Keeping her off the Council’s radar, as well as Udina’s, was paramount. She watched them enter the elevator with a heavy feeling in her stomach, not unlike when the ground team had left for Eden Prime.</p><p>Was she going to be feeling like this every time they left her sight? That was going to get old fast. And give her ulcers.</p><p>“So, what do you want to do while we wait for them?” Kaiden asked her.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about that actually, I’d like to check in with someone I know. Care to join me?”</p><p>“Sure, where are we going?”</p><p>“C-Sec Academy,” she answered him. “Let’s take a walk. We’ve got time and the Presidium is beautiful.”</p><p>They made their way over to C-Sec Academy and when they got there, she asked the receptionist if officer Chellick was available. It seemed he was, because not five minutes later he came walking into the waiting area, his face lighting as soon as he saw her.</p><p>“Look who’s here. How are you, Alyssa, free to wander around, with an Alliance babysitter?” She gave him a minute headshake and he looked at Kaiden, then back at her and nodded in understanding. They couldn’t discuss it with him present.</p><p>Kaiden however, had picked up on Chellick’s comment and looked at them both suspiciously.</p><p>“I’m doing well, officer Chellick, and wanted to come over and thank you again in person for your help.” The formal tone was the second warning, and again, he seemed to understand perfectly. He really was a good detective.</p><p>“Also, I need a favor, a small one, but still.” She smiled at him, and he smirked.</p><p>“By all means, come into my office, then,” he said as he motioned behind him to lead her to the restricted section where he worked.</p><p>“Kaiden, would you mind waiting for me? I’ll be right out, I promise,” she asked him. He had a look of surprise on his face, but nodded amiably enough. “Sure thing, Alyssa, I’ll be right here till you get back.”</p><p>And then she followed Chellick to wherever he wanted them to go. It turned out to be an interview room not dissimilar to the last one she was in.</p><p>“Spill it, troublemaker, how did you wing this?” he said as soon as she walked in. “I received the order to drop all charges and delete the records.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m not going to be able to explain that, at least not to your satisfaction. I can say that I’m safe where I am and not a danger to anyone here. Does that help?” and she gave him her best innocent girl smile.</p><p>Despite himself, he grinned. “Damn Alyssa, you are a piece of work. What was this about a favor?”</p><p>“I need to know where Garrus Vakarian is, can you find out?” she rushed out the words, suddenly nervous. What if he didn’t want to help?</p><p>“Garrus is my friend, Alyssa, why do you need him?” and there was a quiet warning in his voice. He didn’t trust her, and he wouldn’t just hand over his friend.</p><p>“I don’t need him, Commander Shepard does, you know, the hero of the Skyllian Blitz. We think he might be working on something that overlaps with a mission the commander is undertaking. If so, we need his expertise.” Technically not a lie, but still.</p><p>“I’ve heard of Shepard, he’s the Alliance poster boy, right? Single-handedly saved Elysium or something. It was all over the news. If you’re working with him, you did manage to land on your feet.” He looked impressed, and gave her an appreciative smile.</p><p>“Alright, let me check what Garrus is up to.”</p><p>He worked on his omni-tool and frowned.</p><p>“Huh, he’s not at the Academy, so he’s probably in the field somewhere. Let me see if I can get ahold of him.”</p><p>Before Alyssa realized what was happening, his omni-tool was beeping to indicate it was dialing out. She held her breath as the call connected.</p><p>“Hey, Decian, what’s up?” a very familiar voice rang out. Alyssa fought very hard to keep her face neutral, even though she felt like a teenage fangirl inside.</p><p>“Where are you? You’re not at the Academy,” Chellick replied.</p><p>“No, I’m at the other end of the station, running down a lead. I need to talk to doctor Michel at the clinic about something, so I’ll probably be back in about an hour. Were you going to buy me lunch? You know, finally honor your bet,” she heard Garrus ask, snarkiness filtering through the line.</p><p>“No such luck, got someone here who wants to talk to you,” Chellick responded.</p><p>“Who is it?” Garrus asked, and he was all business.</p><p>Chellick looked at Alyssa, who shook her head. She didn’t want him to tell Garrus her name. Again, he immediately understood.</p><p>“Can’t exactly tell you over an open line, Garrus. You’ll have to wait till you’re here.” She mouthed ‘thank you’ to him for that answer.</p><p>“All right, keep your secrets. Like I said, I should be back in about an hour. See you then,” Garrus replied before hanging up.</p><p>“Thanks, Chellick, I owe you a favor. I’ll get out of your hair and go back to Kaiden. It was good to see you,” Alyssa told him earnestly.</p><p>“Don’t think I won’t collect, troublemaker,” he easily replied before turning serious. “Be careful, running around with the likes of Shepard is bound to be dangerous and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”</p><p>“That’s really sweet. I’ll be careful, I promise.” And with that, she stood up and gave him a hug, and like with Nihlus, she aimed high to not make him uncomfortable. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a small squeeze before letting go.</p><p>“Now, let’s get you back to that bodyguard of yours,” and she couldn’t help but laugh at that.</p><p>***</p><p>Once she and Kaiden were out the door, she activated her omni-tool and called Shepard. Fortunately, he answered immediately.</p><p>“Red, what is it?” straight to the point, and he sounded worried; he wasn’t expecting her to call.</p><p>“I’m fine, but I need you to get to the med clinic, please. I’ll meet you outside and explain. How soon can you get there?”</p><p>“We’ve just wrapped up here, I can be there in fifteen minutes, is that okay?” Worry now clearly seeping through.</p><p>“That’s fine, I’ll have time to explain once you get here. Don’t worry, okay, Kaiden’s here, I’m not in any danger,” she tried to reassure him.</p><p>“Okay, Red, sit tight, we’ll be right there,” and then he hung up.</p><p>She and Kaiden made their way up the stairs, and waited until Shepard and the others arrived. Kaiden turned to her and gave her his full attention. She tried not to flinch under the weight of his stare, but it was obvious something serious was on his mind.</p><p>“What’s going on, Alyssa? That was all a bit mysterious. How do you know that C-Sec officer, he seemed to think I was your guard or something? And why do you need Shepard at the med clinic?”</p><p>“I can’t explain right now, Kaiden, I’m sorry. You’ll have to live with the mystery for a little while longer, okay,” giving him the only answer she could.</p><p>“Hmm, right. I don’t like it, Alyssa.”</p><p>“I know, but I don’t report to you, Kaiden, and this is ‘need to know’ only.”</p><p>There wasn’t really anything to say after that, so they found a spot near the clinic and waited. Watching him from the corner of her eye, she could swear he was sulking. It was an odd look on a grown man in armor. And indeed, about fifteen minutes later, Shepard walked up to them, followed by Ashley. When she raised her eyebrows, he answered her unspoken question: “Captain Anderson is stuck talking to ambassador Udina, and Nihlus is checking some of his contacts for leads. Now, will you please tell me what is going on?”</p><p>“Sure, I’ll explain everything. Walk with me, kind sir,” she said, threading her arm through his. It must have looked funny, with him still in his armor and her in an Alliance uniform, but she didn’t care. He let out an amused chuckle, but let her lead him away.</p><p>“It occurred to me this morning, that our withholding the information on Saren would mean that C-Sec didn’t investigate him and you’d have no reason to meet Garrus Vakarian. We <i>need</i> Garrus, Shepard, and he’s en route to the med clinic to follow up on a lead with the doctor that works there, and I think I know what it is. He’s going to walk into a gun fight, which is why we need you here. Kaiden and I have had our eyes on the place for the last fifteen minutes, but if those thugs enter, they’re going to use the doctor as a  hostage, and she’s got information that can lead to Saren.”</p><p>“How do you know he’s going to be here?” was the only thing he asked her. She smiled, realizing he was beginning to trust her. Eden Prime had proven to him that she was on their side.</p><p>“I asked Officer Chellick, who came to get me when I first got here. They’re friends. Garrus is expecting someone to meet him at C-Sec in an hour, but then he mentioned going here first, and I don’t want him or doctor Michel to get hurt.”</p><p>“We won’t let them get hurt, but, Red, you can’t go in with us, I need you somewhere safe,” and he gripped her upper arms and looked her in the eye.</p><p>“I know, I’ll go down the stairs here, and stay out of sight. I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Look, there will be four thugs, Fisk hired them, he owns Chora’s Den and works for Saren. The Shadow Broker is unhappy with Saren and is also gunning for him. A useful ally to have, by the way. He’s the one that hired Wrex, and we should probably pick him up before we go after Fisk. He’ll be at C-Sec Academy, near the elevators.”</p><p>“Red,” Shepard said with the same stern look on his face, “we’ll intercept Vakarian and the doctor and take out the thugs. Then I’ll pick up Wrex, go to Fisk and then I’ll save your Quarian. Right after this, you’re going to Captain Anderson. I’ll send Ashley or Kaiden with you, to make sure you’re safe. No arguing.”</p><p>“Yes, sir. You know, I’m not trying to get shot or anything. I’m just a little wired,” she muttered indignantly and at least he could laugh at that.</p><p>Returning to Kaiden and Ashley, Shepard explained briefly what they were going to do. They entered the med clinic, having seen no sign of Fisk’s thugs, found doctor Michel and convinced her to leave the clinic and join Alyssa in her designated hiding spot at the bottom of the stairs.</p><p>If either Kaiden or Ashley thought this was weird, they didn’t comment on it. Alyssa shook the doctor’s hand and led her downstairs, waiting for the team to return. It took about half an hour, but then Kaiden came to get them, telling them it was all sorted and the med clinic was safe.</p><p>***</p><p>They followed him upstairs and there they were, Shepard, Ashley and a Turian who was unmistakably Garrus Vakarian. He was tall, with piercing blue eyes and the visor he always wore. Light-grey colored skin, with striking, blue colony markings, he looked amazing. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart started pounding out of her chest. Meeting Shepard, Kaiden and Ashley had been surreal, but Garrus had always been her favorite. More than that, now that she’d mostly accepted her new reality and had set her sights on what she wanted to do here, she realized Garrus was Shepard’s best friend. He would need him to win, needed to lean on him to get to the finish line.</p><p>Shepard walked towards them when he saw them coming up.</p><p>“Doctor Michel, thanks for your cooperation. We’ve dealt with the people who would have threatened you, the sting worked. You should be perfectly safe.” At this, doctor Michel gave him a grateful nod and told him he would always be welcome at her clinic. Then she went right back to work. Dedicated lady, she thought. Alyssa herself might have taken the day off.</p><p>Then Shepard was addressing her. “Red, right as usual. Come, let me introduce you. Garrus Vakarian, meet Alyssa Adams, intelligence specialist to the Normandy. Alyssa, Garrus has been kind enough to help clean up Fist’s bandits.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Officer Vakarian, thanks for helping the team,” she told him, noticing the nervous wobble in her voice as she reached out her hand and clasped his forearm in the standard Turian greeting. He looked down at their hands, surprise on his face. She guessed Humans didn’t usually do this.</p><p>“Nice to meet you too, miss Adams, but please call me Garrus. Officer Vakarian is my father,” he responded with a note of humor in his voice.</p><p>“In that case, Garrus, I’m definitely just Alyssa,” she retorted with a smile. Look at me, being all smooth, she thought, secretly proud of keeping it together.</p><p>“Timely save, by the way, Commander, I didn’t realize that I could have walked into a hot situation. I received an anonymous tip to talk to doctor Michel about Fisk. I didn’t think he’d sic his thugs on a doctor like that, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Fisk has been a thorn in C-Sec’s side for a long time, nothing ever sticking long enough for us to put him away. We might have a shot now,” he added, and a satisfied rumble emanated from his sub-vocals. “I’d like to follow you to Chora’s Den, but I need to make a stop at C-Sec first. There’s some business there that needs my attention,” Garrus continued.</p><p>“Yeah, if you’re referring to Chellick’s call, you can ignore it. I asked him to call you, but thought it smarter to intercept you here,” Alyssa confessed to him. Surprise flickered across his face, but he didn’t comment.</p><p>“Guess I can kiss lunch goodbye as well, he’ll use this as an excuse to welsh on our bet. Again.” Shaking his head in amusement at his unreliable friend, he turned to Shepard.</p><p>“Alright, let’s go to Fisk and wrap this up. He’s been on my list for a long time.”</p><p>“Absolutely, just one more stop to make along the way, but it will be worth it, I think,” Shepard answered him and then turned to Alyssa.</p><p>“And you, Red, are going to go straight to Captain Anderson’s office, like we discussed. Ashley will take you.” He brooked no disagreement, it was all ‘commander’ voice.</p><p>“No need to be like that, I promised I’d listen, didn’t I? I stayed downstairs and everything,” she replied with a fake pout, poking him in his sides with her elbow. His smile echoed hers as he moved to give Ashley the order to take her to Anderson.</p><p>“Be careful, Shepard, Fisk is expecting you and won’t go down without a fight. Remember the turrets in his office,” she whispered before leaving his side. He gave her a small nod to let her know he understood.</p><p>“Come on, Alyssa, let’s go. We’ll walk to Anderson’s office, I haven’t really explored the Citadel yet,” Ashley called to her.</p><p>“Sure thing, Ashley, nice day for a walk. Bye guys, be safe,” she said, and all three of them nodded in thanks before she headed off with Ashley.</p><p>***</p><p>As they were walking through the Presidium, she asked about the Council meeting. Shepard hadn’t said anything, there hadn’t been time to discuss it, and it kept their conversation off more strained topics, at least she hoped so.</p><p>“I’d say it went well. They listened carefully as Nihlus explained encountering the Geth,  our observations of them turning people into husks and seeing that big ship leave orbit. They agreed it was concerning and warranted further investigation and tasked Nihlus with doing so. He in turn recommended Shepard be allowed to support his investigation and they agreed to that too. Agreeable bunch, or maybe Nihlus just has that much clout with them, I don’t know,” she added thoughtfully. Alyssa just nodded, knowing it was indeed Nihlus that made the difference. The Council had been much more intractable with Anderson, Udina and Shepard in the game. It was another pleasant change, she reflected.</p><p>“Anyway, after that, Captain Anderson was called into the ambassador’s office and Nihlus ran off to do god knows what and we came to you. Oh, I can’t believe I almost forgot, did you know that Nihlus is evaluating Shepard to see if he’s good enough to be the first Human Spectre?” Awe crept into her voice then. “Can you believe it? I bet he would be a great Spectre, don’t you think so?” she added enthusiastically.</p><p>“That’s great,” Alyssa said, “I’m sure he’ll pass with flying colors. Shepard will make a great Spectre. Exciting time to be on the Normandy, Ashley, we can all learn a lot.”</p><p>“I’ll say, I’m glad Captain Anderson took a chance on me and let me join.” That made Alyssa frown. "Hey! He didn’t ‘let’ you join, Ashley, you earned it, so own it. You work hard, you’re an exemplary marine, don’t sell yourself short,” Alyssa said, giving her an impromptu pep talk.</p><p>“Thanks, Alyssa, it’s nice of you to say. Oh look, we’re here. I’m supposed to deliver you to him personally, don’t know why Shepard insisted,” she said, giving Alyssa an inquisitive look.</p><p>“Oh, he thinks I need a babysitter or I’ll get lost or something. I swear, get lost once, and it hounds you forever,” she shook off the comment with an easy smile.</p><p>As it turns out, Anderson was in his office, so Ashley took her leave and Alyssa dropped into the seat Anderson offered her.</p><p>“I heard things went well at the meeting, sir,” Alyssa said as she sat down.</p><p>“They did indeed. Nihlus handled it brilliantly. I’ve been talking to Udina, horrible little man, and to Admiral Hackett. We’ve agreed to give Commander Shepard the Normandy and to re-assign me to the Citadel. It’s wonderful when a plan comes together. Nihlus is going to rustle up a ship and then check back in.”</p><p>“Shepard is on his way to gather evidence on Saren, and save a Quarian on her Pilgrimage. When I left him, he’d already made contact with at least one of the people we’re going to need with us. So far, so good, Captain,” she smiled.</p><p>“And thank god for that. Now, let’s see how good you are with a gun, Alyssa, and get you some proper armor. We can have a bite to eat afterwards.”</p><p>Alyssa was looking forward to this, she’d been a good shot, passing her qualifications easily and she couldn’t wait to get her hands on these guns of the future.</p><p>***</p><p>A few hours later they were wrapping up on the gun range, Alyssa and Anderson both with huge smiles on their faces.</p><p>“You’re a natural, kid, well done. Qualified for pistol, shot gun, and assault rifle. That’s proper versatility. Some more work with the sniper rifle, and you’ll be able to use that too. I feel a lot better about you being on the Normandy now. No room for non-combatants, even Joker and doctor Chakwas know how to handle at least a pistol.”</p><p>“Thanks, sir, it’s really not that different from what I’m used to, incorporating the technology and compensating for the recoil wasn’t as hard as I imagined it would be.”</p><p>The afternoon had flown by, and had been a lot of fun. After a while, it felt like just another day on the gun range, and, she realized, she hadn’t felt out of place or out of time once. There was something very comforting about having a lethal piece of metal in her hand and knowing how to use it. Anderson had been able to procure really nice light armor, and when he asked if she wanted it in a specific color, she’d said dark green with red accents.</p><p>Then he took her to one of the nicer restaurants on the Citadel and they had a lovely dinner together, chatting away with Anderson telling her about his past adventures and she regaling him with stories about life in the 21st century.</p><p>Before going back to the ship, she asked him to take her to a place where they sold proper dextro food and picked up some high quality foodstuffs for Tali and Garrus. Anything to make them feel more welcome on board.</p><p>In the same vein, she asked Anderson if it was possible to get a more comfortable chair for Joker. When he looked at her funny, she told him the civilian sector had much better leather seats, and with Joker’s condition, it would make a real difference in his day-to-day life. Anderson looked a bit abashed, muttered that he should have realized that himself, and promised to make arrangements.</p><p>The final thing she wanted to arrange was a Turian bed for Garrus. Anderson nodded, and as it turned out, knew just where to go to make arrangements to have it delivered to the Normandy. There were a lot of Turians living on the Citadel, so getting supplies for them was an easy task. </p><p>They both agreed that they could use the walk back to the docks, and so sauntered their way back to the ship unhurriedly, enjoying the relative peace and quiet.</p><p>It had been a good day, and as evening set in on the Citadel, it was time to check back in with Shepard and Nihlus.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please let me know what you think! Thanks!</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The New Guys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Garrus, Tali and Wrex are on board the Normandy and the team has their first briefing.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa and Captain Anderson returned to find the ship buzzing with excitement. They looked at each other in surprise and Alyssa shrugged, not sure what the cause could be. Curiosity peaked, they made their way to the source of the noise quickly. It turned out the CIC was full of people, certainly more crew than was needed for a docked ship to function.</p><p>“What is going on here?” Anderson asked, using his full authority to be heard over the din.</p><p>“Apologies, sir, I think we got carried away. The Commander is in the comms room with several aliens, sir, and we were wondering what was going on,” Navigator Pressly helpfully provided. At least he had the decency to look embarrassed at the amount of people milling about.</p><p>“Alright, alright, everyone that isn’t on shift in the CIC, leave now,” Anderson commanded. The tone of voice made it clear he wasn't at all amused. “This is a military vessel, not a bar.” At his order, the crowd quickly started dispersing.</p><p>“Let’s introduce ourselves, shall we,” he said in a much nicer tone, turning to Alyssa as he led the way to the comms room.</p><p>As they stepped into the room, Alyssa couldn’t suppress her excitement. Everyone was here, she just couldn't believe it. She felt like she was going to faint, this was amazing. Without realizing, she had the biggest, goofiest grin on her face as she took everything in. Garrus and Nihlus were towering over everyone, talking quietly. Wrex was in the corner, looking even more imposing than she could have imagined and standing to the side, talking to Shepard, was Tali, in her beautiful purple envirosuit with the pretty pattern. Kaiden and Ashley were hanging out in the back, watching the proceedings closely.</p><p>At the sound of the door opening, everyone turned to see who it was. Shepard must have caught the open expression of joy on Alyssa’s face, because he stepped up to her and moved her closer to the group, gently putting his hand on the small of her back, practically steering her in the right direction. He nodded to Captain Anderson, before turning to the group and starting introductions.</p><p>“I’d like to introduce Captain Anderson, in charge of the Normandy, and Alyssa Adams, our intelligence specialist,” and they both nodded in acknowledgement.</p><p>“Please meet our newest crew members; Garrus Vakarian,” and Alyssa nodded, having already met him, as Anderson moved to shake hands and welcome him aboard.</p><p>“This is Tali’Zorah nar Rayya,” he continued. Both of them moved to Tali, Alyssa reaching out for a forearm shake and Anderson mimicking her. It was so good to see her up close and catch a hint of her eyes inside her mask.</p><p>“And finally, please meet Urdnot Wrex, he’s a Krogan Battlemaster and helped us take down Fisk,” he finished the introductions and this time, Alyssa made sure to put pressure on the forearm grip in a show of strength, and judging by the grunt of surprise he gave, that was the right way to do it. Anderson followed, and then they all fell silent, looking at each other to see what was going to happen next.</p><p>Shepard took charge, like Alyssa had hoped he would, motioning for all of them to sit down. Once they'd all found a spot, with Alyssa sitting between Shepard and Captain Anderson, he explained why they were all here. She knew what he would say of course, more or less, and steeled herself to keep her reactions neutral. She was still having trouble keeping her excitement under control at being in the same room as some of her favorite people. Meeting them in the flesh was surreal and amazing all at once. Forcing the smile off her face, she turned her attention to Shepard.</p><p>“We waited for you two to join us before bringing everyone up to speed. I know it’s late, so I suggest we keep it brief.” He stopped there and shot a quick glance at her to double-check before proceeding. She nodded minutely, not wanting to give the impression that she was in charge, but appreciating his thoughtfulness all the same.</p><p>“The Council has tasked us with investigating the Geth’s activities, uncovering their plans, apprehending the people in charge and neutralizing the threat. What I'm about to tell you is classified and has to be confined to this audience until further notice," Shepard said, looking around the room for confirmation. Once they'd all nodded or acknowledged their understanding, he continued. </p><p>"What we know so far is that Spectre Saren Arterius has gone rogue and is no longer working for the Council. He is using the Geth to acquire something called the Conduit, which will enable a non-organic race called Reapers to flood into our galaxy and start a war against all organic races.” He paused there, checking to see how his message was being received. The group looked surprised, not expecting anything close to what he was telling them. She saw Garrus look at Nihlus, eyebrow plate raised in question and watched his shoulders slump a little when Nilhus confirmed with a minute nod. A rogue Turian Spectre, especially one with Saren's reputation, reflected badly on all Turians.</p><p>“The Reapers are responsible for wiping out the Protheans and are a powerful adversary. Our job is to stop them from entering our galaxy. I’m not going to lie, this mission is dangerous. I can’t guarantee you won’t be injured or even killed. I can tell you that I won’t stop until we’ve stopped them. This is what we’re up against,” he said, activating the large vid screens and showing the footage of Sovereign they’d captured on Eden Prime.</p><p>A hush came over the room, and Alyssa looked around, unsure of what reactions to expect. Everyone was looking at the screens attentively, until finally Wrex broke the silence and said: “That’s an enemy worthy of the Krogan. Let’s not wait around. I want to go and kill it.”</p><p>That seemed to have shaken them all loose, and they all started firing questions at Shepard.</p><p>He let them for a minute, then held up his hands in surrender and said: "We'll do a full debrief for all of you when we've left the Citadel. Let me be very clear to everyone. Not even the Council knows about Saren and the Reapers. This must remain a secret. I have been assured that we can trust everyone in this room, which is why I'm showing you this." There were some surprised looks, but from Shepard's no-nonsense tone it was clear he wouldn't be answering any questions. "There are some things we need to do on the Citadel, so we’ll be here for a few days. Make sure you’re stocked up on what you need. Next stop: Therum. Now, get squared away and get some sleep. Dismissed.”</p><p>One by one, everyone started trouping out, Kaiden and Ashley leaving first. Wrex was the next one out, talking about setting up shop in the cargo bay. Alyssa took the opportunity to pull Garrus and Tali into a quick conversation before they could leave, and Shepard, Anderson and Nihlus were grouped together, talking quietly, no doubt comparing notes on today’s events.</p><p>“Hey you two, I’m glad to catch you and tell you how happy I am that you’re joining the crew. I knew you were coming so we made sure to stock up on extra dextro food. Could you do me a favor and check it out though? If you don’t like it, we still have some time to stock things you do like. I don’t want you to starve or have bad food because us levo folks don’t know what good dextro food is, okay?” she said, smiling at them both warmly.</p><p>“Also, we’re having a Turian bed delivered, so you won’t be miserable on one of our standard issue ones,” she said, directing her attention to Garrus, trying not to blush and very aware of standing only a few feet away from him.</p><p>“That’s.. surprisingly considerate of you,” Garrus replied, “thank you.” She couldn't stop the smile on her face. Here she was, talking to Tali and Garrus like it was totally normal. They were real, and they were here. Best day ever, she thought before turning back to the conversation.</p><p>“Please, it’s the least we can do, like I said, we want you to feel comfortable here. It won’t always be easy on a mostly Human ship, but we can at least get the basics right.”</p><p>“Thanks, Alyssa, that’s very nice of you,” Tali answered her. “Not everyone is that considerate, especially not of Quarians.” It was a sharp reminder for Alyssa of the discrimination Tali and other Quarians still experienced across the galaxy. </p><p>“Come on, I’ll show you to the engine room, you’re going to love the Tantalus Drive Core,” she said, linking her arm with Tali’s like it was the most natural thing in the world.</p><p>As they were passing Shepard, he stopped her and said: “Hurry back, would ya, Red, I need to talk to you.”</p><p>“Sure thing, boss man,” she replied, earning her a Shepard eye roll.</p><p>Tali indeed found the drive core fascinating, and Alyssa made sure to introduce her to engineer Adams before excusing herself. When she left, they were already talking technical details.<br/>
Getting back to the comms room, she saw Garrus had also left them and only Nihlus, Anderson and Shepard remained. It seemed they were comparing notes, and Anderson was just telling them that he’d be reassigned to the Citadel and Shepard would take over command of the ship.</p><p>“So, congratulations are in order, Shepard, the Normandy is now yours. Treat her well,” Anderson told him, and there was so much pride in his voice as he spoke. Shepard swallowed hard and pulled Anderson into a manly hug, thanking him profusely.</p><p>Alyssa sidled up to Nihlus and said: “I heard you did a great job today, convincing the Council. A warrior and a smooth talker, such a dazzling combination,” she smiled up at him, giving him a playful smirk.</p><p>“I heard you were great today too, Captain Anderson told us all about the gun range. Looks like we may make a soldier of you yet, Alyssa. Well done,” Nihlus said, and his mandibles moved outwards, into what must be a smile. She couldn't help the little blush that started creeping up her neck, quite pleased with his compliment. Anderson and Shepard joined them, both a little emotional, but happy. She could tell Anderson's praise meant a lot to Shepard. She turned her attention to Shepard and Nihlus, wanting to know how their day had gone.</p><p>“Anything weird pop up in getting Wrex away from C-Sec or when you were taking down Fisk? I mean, Tali’s obviously okay and Wrex is here, but I’d like to hear how it went,” she asked Shepard.</p><p>He grinned at her before answering. “It pretty much went just as you told us it would. Fisk’s goons tried to kill us as soon as we got near Chora’s Den. You were right about Wrex shooting him too, he’s definitely dead. It wasn’t a fair fight, between Kaiden and Wrex’ biotics, Garrus' firepower and mine, we cut through them like butter. And Tali could handle herself in the alley. A good day’s work, for sure.” She shot him a pleased smile, happy that everything had gone according to plan and that no one had gotten hurt.</p><p>“And what about you, Nihlus, were you able to make arrangements?” she said, focusing on the tall Turian next.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve got another ship, so mine doesn’t get recognized, just in case Saren is keeping tabs on me. I also checked some sources and it seems your Salarian genius is indeed setting up shop on Omega, so that’s where I’ll go.” He didn't sound too happy about the prospect of going to Omega, but then, she considered, who would be? She knew he was the best man for the job however, and the Normandy couldn't afford to make the detour, not if they wanted to get to their next target on time. Liara T'Soni, the Asari archeologist and Prothean expert, was working on a dig site on Therum and needed to be extracted before Saren found her.</p><p>They spent a bit more time catching up, but retired to their quarters quickly after that. Passing by the mess hall, she confirmed the dextro food she ordered had already made its way there. The store had even included several recipes for them to try, which was surprisingly thoughtful.</p><p>The Turian bed had also arrived, and Alyssa made arrangements to have it dropped off to the cargo bay Garrus shared with Wrex.</p><p>In her room, Alyssa stowed away the boxes containing her new armor before calling it a night and crawling into bed. Today had been unbelievable. Spending time on the Citadel, getting to shoot with such futuristic tech on the gun range, but especially meeting Garrus, Tali and Wrex. She couldn't wait to spend more time with them, to get to know them better. She was almost too buzzed to sleep, but the hum of the engine soothed her and she was out like a light before she knew it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Prep Work</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Joker gets a surprise and Garrus knows something is up as the team wraps up assignments on the Citadel.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few days were spent with Shepard running around following up with all the people that needed his help on the Citadel. Alyssa didn’t see him much during the day, though he did make it a point to see her at the end of the day. He’d find her as she was having dinner, or sometimes when she was down in the hold exercising and tell her about his day, and ask her about hers. It was nice, and they fell into an easy, teasing rapport.</p><p>Then, on the morning one day before their scheduled departure, she was talking to Navigator Pressly in the CIC when she heard an earsplitting yell coming from the cockpit. She rushed over and saw Joker standing back, waving his arms and making a ruckus.</p><p>“Look, Alyssa, look what it is. I’m getting a real leather chair. This never happens on Alliance ships. I can’t believe this, it’s great!” His enthusiasm was infectious and she couldn’t help but smile.</p><p>“Be honest, Joker, who did you blackmail to get a chair upgrade?” she teased him.</p><p>He shook his head and said: “That’s just it, I have no idea. Maybe Shepard actually likes the porn I’m sending him.” They both laughed at that.</p><p>“Well, looks like Christmas came early this year. Enjoy it, you deserve it,” she told him, giving him a careful hip bump.</p><p>“Oh, I will. My old chair is ergonomic, but I still get sore from the hours I spend in it, and evasive or offensive maneuvers leave me covered in bruises. I’ve had to ask people to carry me to my quarters more than once when my legs cramped up too badly for me to walk. I think the cushioning will help with that,” Joker confessed to her, and she knew he didn’t share this easily. Joker didn’t want to be slowed down by his Vrolik’s syndrome and admitting to any limitation as a result of his illness was hard for him. His trainers and superiors had repeatedly used it against him, keeping him from top-tier assignments until he'd taken matters into his own hands by stealing the Normandy for a joyride.</p><p>“We’re going to be flying into dangerous situations, Joker, we need you at peak performance. I think Captain Anderson and Commander Shepard realize that and figured this would help.”</p><p>He gave her a sly look, but didn’t comment other than saying: “You’re probably right. Let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth. I’ll send Shepard some extra special porn tonight, just to say thank you.” She left him to celebrate and test the new chair. A happy Joker was a good thing. She’d had no idea he got that banged up just doing his job.</p><p>***</p><p>They were going to leave for Therum the next day, and it meant saying goodbye to Anderson and Nihlus. She realized she was sorry to leave them. She was fond of them both. Leaving for Therum also meant really getting started on eliminating the Reapers. It was scary. They’d be going into danger, that was unavoidable, and while almost everyone survived in the game, that might not be the case in real life. She was worried about the ripple effects of her changes. At some point, she wouldn’t be able to predict what would happen and that frightened her.</p><p>She had decided with Shepard that they would tell the team the truth about her once they were underway. No sense risking anyone accidentally letting something slip when they were still on the Citadel. There would be no telling what would happen if Saren found out, or the Alliance, the Council, or even the Shadow Broker for that matter. At best, they would try to kidnap her, at worst, they might decide to take out the Normandy and everyone on it to get to her.</p><p>It would take them some time to get to Therum, so they could properly explain the whole thing and answer any questions the team could have. They’d decided to loop Joker and doctor Chakwas in as well. Thinking about the doctor made her wonder about her own health. She supposed she’d have to update her shots to cover space-measles or something. She wondered how future birth control worked. Or if people still got cancer and died from it. She knew dextro-allergies were a thing, so she might as well get that checked out too.</p><p>She hadn’t seen much of the team in the last few days. Mostly they were out with Shepard or wrapping up any remaining business of their own on the Citadel. Shepard had given her Alliance military procedures to read, everything from general conduct to battlefield strategy. She’d spent hours going through them all. As an analyst, she respected and appreciated paperwork and procedures, and was pleased to have something to sink her teeth into. It also kept her from being lonely. With the team out and about, and only a skeleton crew available while the ship was docked, she didn’t quite feel comfortable on board by herself.</p><p>***</p><p>After a few more hours of rigorous study, this time on the Alliance fleet and its different ship types, she went to the mess to grab dinner, intending to eat in her quarters if she didn’t see a familiar face. Picking up her tray, she spotted Garrus grabbing food and waived him over to join her at one of the tables. With a small nod, he agreed.</p><p>“Thanks, Alyssa, I was thinking about just taking a tray and going back downstairs,” he said when he sat down opposite her.</p><p>“I was thinking the same thing. I don’t really know that many people on board yet, so eating with the crew is a bit daunting. But I at least know you a little, so I changed my mind about eating here,” she told him with a smile. If she was uncomfortable, she imaged he would feel even worse with only Humans in the mess hall.</p><p>“How’s the food?” she asked him.</p><p>“Honestly, it’s almost like being on a Turian cruiser,” he answered.</p><p>“Is that a good or a bad thing, Garrus? I’ve never been on one,” she asked him, smiling at him more brightly than she probably should, given their level of familiarity.</p><p>“Oh, it’s a good thing. Turians care about food. I can’t believe you even got chocolate, it’s above and beyond, really, I can’t thank you enough,” he said, his sub-vocals giving a content chirp to emphasize his words.</p><p>“Glad you like it. How have you been settling in?” she continued, pleased her small food gesture had been well received.</p><p>“It’s been good, actually. The bed has been a gift, thank you for that. And I’ve been accompanying Shepard on some of his jobs on the Citadel. He has more patience than I do, people approach him for just about anything, big or small. He was talking to the widower of someone that died on Eden Prime and he handled it well, getting her released to him, even though the Alliance wanted to keep the body. That poor man had suffered enough, it was the decent thing to do.”</p><p>“That sounds good. Did Ashley get a chance to talk to the husband? His wife was in her unit, I think,” she asked, happy that Shepard had made the call she herself had made in the game.</p><p>“She did, she was good with him actually. Comforted him. How did you know she was in Williams’ unit?” he asked, looking at her sharply. She swallowed her bite of food, hoping to stall for time. She realized she would have to be more careful around him, he was a detective after all.</p><p>Out loud, she said: “I’m an intelligence specialist, knowing stuff is in the job description.” It was a stupid reply, too glib and the narrowing of his eyes said he knew it too.</p><p>“It’s good you’re getting to know Shepard and the team. Helps when you’ll be fighting side-by-side once we go to stop Saren,” she changed the subject.</p><p>“We’ve been getting our feet wet already today. We almost got blown up by a greedy AI. Quick thinking on Shepard’s part stopped the self-destruct sequence just in time. Already more interesting than a typical day in C-Sec,” he said with a smirk.</p><p>“Glad to see you’re not regretting joining us,” she told him. She kept smiling at him, letting his voice wash over her. At once familiar and new, it was an odd sensation, like an auditory déjà vu. She especially appreciated the dual tones, his voice and his sub-vocals combining to convey his message. So much more nuanced than a Human voice. She was looking forward to figuring out the different meanings of the various hums, chirps and grumbles, some of which she knew would be too high or too low for her inadequate Human ears to catch.</p><p>“What have you been doing these last few days, Alyssa?” he asked her, breaking her out of her reverie.</p><p>“Oh, nothing all that interesting, I’m afraid. I’ve been stuck here, dealing with paperwork. Captain Anderson did take me to the Alliance gun range to get my weapons certifications. I passed everything but the sniper rifle. The gun was too heavy and it pulled off my aim,” she told him with a small pout. She didn’t like not being good at something.</p><p>“I can help with the sniper rifle qualification if you like, I’m the best sniper in C-Sec, if I do say so myself,” he offered with ease, and his sub-vocals emitted a sound she mentally labeled ‘pride’.</p><p>“That’s really nice of you, thanks! I’ll take you up on that. Shepard told me I needed to find ways to help with the stress of being on a ship for long periods of time, and shooting has always relaxed me. Mastering the art of long range sniping will give me something to focus on.”</p><p>“It’s no bother, I like doing it, and it’s a good way to say thank you for the chocolate,” he said, and he was definitely smiling and chirping at her then. “Can I ask you something?” He gave her a calculating look before continuing, not unkind, but definitely serious.</p><p>"Sure," she agreed easily.</p><p>“You’re not part of the Alliance crew, are you? I mean, on the Citadel, Shepard made you hide with the doctor, you just passed your weapons qualifications and you don’t treat Shepard like he’s your superior officer. Can you tell me what’s going on?”</p><p>He really was too perceptive, she thought. He was letting the silence continue, needing her to answer and content to wait her out. She was aware of how important this moment was and she didn’t want to mislead him or have him not trust her down the line. Not Garrus, he was too important.</p><p>“Garrus, you’re not wrong. I can’t tell you, not out in the open here, and not right now. I’m not hiding anything from Shepard, Nihlus or Anderson, they have been read in. We will read you and the team in tomorrow. Can you wait until then? I promise I’ll answer all your questions,” she answered him with a distinctly apologetic tone of voice, looking him right in the eye, almost pleading with him. He was quiet for some time, likely thinking it over carefully, while she waited on pins and needles, increasingly nervous.</p><p>“I can do that, Alyssa, thanks for not lying to me,” he told her, putting her mind at ease. “I am looking forward to that explanation, it’s been niggling at the back of my mind since we met. Call it a detective’s instinct,” he added.</p><p>“Looks like that instinct is working well, your dad would be proud,” she told him before she could stop herself, mentally facepalming as soon as the words left her mouth. He’d rattled her with his observations, and she’d be glad when they would all know the truth tomorrow and she wouldn’t have to keep policing herself. Obviously she wasn’t very good at it.</p><p>He was staring at her now, and before he could respond, she jumped in to apologize.</p><p>“And I just did it again, didn’t I? I do promise I will tell you all about it tomorrow. I’m not doing anything nefarious and I have an explanation for all of it.” Granted, it wasn’t a great one, but it was at least better than nothing. She patted him on the arm lightly, trying to be reassuring.</p><p>In the meantime, the mess hall had started filling up with crew members and, looking around, they both realized it at the same time and shared a smile.</p><p>“Time to go?” she asked him. “Definitely. But, Alyssa, thanks, it was good talking to you. My curiosity can wait a day. And we’ll work on the sniper skills once we leave, okay?”</p><p>“It’s a date,” she replied and then heard the words and winced reflexively.</p><p>He chuckled and leaned over as he passed her to whisper: “If you like,” and left her there, red-faced and embarrassed as he walked off with unmistakable swagger.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, she got up and left to go to her quarters before she humiliated herself with someone else.</p><p>***</p><p>Shepard found her there an hour later, kicking back on her bed and watching a movie on a holo screen that she'd activated using her omni-tool. She was quite proud of herself for having figured out the tech without help.</p><p>“Am I interrupting anything important?” he asked her, smiling at her obviously relaxed position.</p><p>“Not really, I wanted to check out this century’s movie offerings. I wasn’t sure where to start, so I just picked something with a plot that seemed interesting. Come on in,” she answered him, sitting up from her prone position on the bed and closing the screen. He leaned against the wall next to her door, arms crossed across his chest, smiling at her.</p><p>“Yeah, can’t help you there, I haven’t had time to stay up to speed on entertainment.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say that. Doesn’t Joker send you interesting movies?” she asked with barely hidden mirth. </p><p>“You know what, he’s getting worse with that. He sent me another one today, I haven’t even dared to open the link yet. God knows what he’s found for me now. And it all has some innocuous name too, so I never know if he’s sending me something actually interesting, or if it’s some anatomically impossible porn. It drives me up the wall,” he complained, making her laugh.</p><p>“He did thank me for his new chair when I came back earlier, would you know anything about that?” he continued. His face was lit up in amusement.</p><p>“Yeah, I discussed it with Anderson a few days ago. This one will be more comfortable, lessen some of the side effects of his illness.”</p><p>“That was very thoughtful of you, and it makes total sense, I just don’t think I would have thought of it. Thanks, Red. I like you looking out for the crew. Makes my job easier,” and he gave her an appreciative smile. He had a nice smile and she couldn't help smiling back.</p><p>“I’ll do whatever I can to help you, Shepard, your job’s hard enough,” she said, and she meant it. Getting Shepard through the Reaper War in one piece was the most important thing she could think of that would help all of them survive.</p><p>“Whatever you can do? Really, Red, that’s a pretty bold statement. Can I submit personal requests as well?” he challenged. There was a definite tease in his voice. She recognized it, as it had made repeated appearances in the last few days when they'd talked. She enjoyed the flirtatious banter, and thought he did as well. Smiling, she indulged herself.</p><p>“And what kind of personal requests would you ask of me, Shepard?” she replied with the same teasing tone.</p><p>“Don’t tempt me, Red, I’ve got a couple of ideas running through my head right now,” he flirted right back.</p><p>“Maybe you should open Joker’s email for a few more. I’m not going anywhere, and you did say stress relief is important when you’re on a ship for extended periods of time,” Alyssa practically purred at him, her voice lower than normal.</p><p>He let out a quiet groan, and it carried across the room. She could swear a slow flush was creeping up his neck as well. She got up off the bed and walked over to him, closing the distance between them. He was just a little taller than she was, which meant she didn't have to look up at him. When she was right in front of him, she leaned in and whispered in his ear.</p><p>“No strings attached, Shepard, just two adults blowing off steam. This is a Human / Turian vessel after all, and that is how Turians deal with stress before high risk missions. Ask Garrus, he’s got a great story about a recon scout.”</p><p>Her hand touched his shoulder, and she ran it down to his hand, brushing the back of it with her fingers. She looked at him and gave him a soft smile. His pupils were dilated and his breath had caught when she'd touched him. He exhaled sharply and seemed to be making a conscious effort to hold still.</p><p>“Damn, Red, you’re killing me. I came over to thank you for Joker’s chair and now all I can think about is tossing you on that bed over there,” he said, his voice breaking a little.</p><p>She laughed and it broke some of the tension between them. She moved back to give him some room. She’d kind of ambushed him, and she wanted to give him some time to regroup instead of just getting swept up in the moment. She gave him a soft smile before trying to reassure him. </p><p>“We’ve got time, Shepard, and we’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of us. The offer’s there if you want it. No hurt feelings if you don’t.” She shrugged to emphasize her words. That seemed to be the right thing to say, because he nodded and gave her a cocky smirk.</p><p>“I didn’t realize things were quite so casual in the 21st century. Almost makes me sorry I missed it.”</p><p>“They weren’t, not everywhere. Some areas were very traditional, arranged marriages were still around in some parts of the world. Women were still stigmatized for their sexual behavior more than men. But me personally? Sex is fun and a normal part of life. I don’t expect any sort of commitment from my partners beyond what they are comfortable giving me and what I’m comfortable giving in return,” she explained, keeping her stance relaxed and her voice light.</p><p>“Not very different from how it works now. For Humans at least, you’ve still got pockets of very traditional people, and a lot of it is based around religion. Being in the Alliance probably skews the whole topic for me,” he said, mimicking her shrug.</p><p>“I’m limited by regulations and confined to short periods of time like shore leave. It doesn’t give you a lot of options. For sex or relationships if I’m honest. I mean, I’m not a virgin or anything, but I also don’t just jump into bed with just anyone. Even this, flirting with you I mean, isn’t something I normally do. You’ve put me off-balance a little, Red. I like it, and I like you, but you’re right, we’ve got time and with everything that’s going on, I don’t want to rush anything, casual or no.” He seemed pensive and regarded her closely to see how she would react.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me, Shepard, I’ll be fine. I like the flirting, and I like you. Now, get going, it’s getting late and I need some sleep if we’re telling the team about me tomorrow. And you need sleep too, you know. So hop to it.”</p><p>“Yeah, because sleep is definitely going to happen now,” he deadpanned, but bade her goodnight and left.</p><p>Sleep didn’t really come easy for Alyssa either, but she finally managed to get a few hours, and without duties that required her to be up first thing in the morning, she was able to sleep in a little before they would need her the next day.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Reading in the Team</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa explains her role on the ship and meets with the team to answer any questions they may have.</p>
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    <p>The SSV Normandy departed the Citadel just before midday. Captain Anderson came to wave them off and wish them happy hunting. He gave Alyssa a hug and a stern admonishment to stay safe, clasped a hand on Shepard’s shoulder and told him again to take good care of the ship and its crew. He shot off a last salute before turning back and leaving.</p><p>Nihlus had been by earlier to say a quiet goodbye and give Shepard some last instructions on how to reach him before leaving. He didn’t want to draw any more attention to his link with the Normandy than he absolutely had to. You never knew who might be watching. In that same vein, he’d asked Alyssa to stay in her quarters and made his way there rather than meeting her at the docks.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have any sort of connection with you, so best to downplay it in public,” he told her, but of course she understood. Keeping her safe meant keeping her hidden, at least from the prying eyes on the Citadel.</p><p>“I’ll let you know when I’ve made contact with the Salarians, or if I run into trouble on the way,” he promised her.</p><p>“Thanks, Nihlus, I know you can handle it. You’re the best damn Spectre in the galaxy,” she smiled, and so did he. Then he gave her a firm hug, thanked her again for saving his life, and left. She really didn’t like saying goodbye and she hoped he would be alright.</p><p>***</p><p>Once everyone was off the ship that didn’t need to be there and everyone that needed to be on the ship was there, Joker announced they were disembarking.</p><p>“Everyone remain seated and keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times,” his ship wide announcement rang out. “Preparing for departure.”</p><p>There was the slightest movement and then she could see the Citadel fade away in the window. It was a marvelous sight, something so big just floating in space. Pretty soon the course was laid in and the autopilot function engaged. Shepard had called a meeting with the team, just as they’d discussed, and included Joker and Doctor Chakwas. Everyone else on the crew did not need to be informed, but equally, everyone in the meeting needed to know and needed to be able to trust her. To say she was nervous was an understatement.</p><p>The comms room was the only location large enough with seating for all of them, even with Shepard choosing to remain standing to address the group. Once they’d all trouped in and found a seat, Shepard began. As he stood there in his uniform before them, he was every inch the commander, and Alyssa found it incredibly attractive, this authoritarian Shepard. Her gaze wandered over his broad shoulders and the way he filled his uniform. Before she got carried away, she stopped herself, recognizing it as a tactic her brain employed to distract her whenever she was nervous, like she was now. She focused on what he was saying instead.</p><p>“Thank you all for coming. As I mentioned the last time we were all in this room, you need to be briefed on a classified matter. This information cannot be discussed with anyone not in this room. It is of the utmost importance for the success of our mission, as you will understand shortly. We are keeping this on a strict need-to-know basis. The rest of the Normandy crew do not need to know. Am I making myself clear?” Shepard said as his gaze swept the room, holding each person’s eyes until they nodded their agreement.</p><p>“Very well. Alyssa, if you please,” he said and sat down.</p><p>Alyssa stood, and her blood was rushing, she was so nervous. She reached for her necklace again, before remembering it wasn’t on her neck and cursing her bad luck once again at leaving it on her nightstand. There was a good chance not everyone would believe her. She’d been buoyed by the reactions of Anderson, Shepard and Nihlus, but it still felt like she was ripping herself open for inspection and, if she were completely honest, leaving herself vulnerable for rejection.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, and with a final nod to Shepard, she started: “I need to tell you about me.” And then she explained about her life on Earth, the shimmer and ending up on the Presidium. She pulled up the video of her appearance on the bench which caused a wide variety of reactions.</p><p>“Wow, how did you do that?” Kaiden asked her, surprise clearly written all over his face.</p><p>Ashley’s reaction was more schooled, not revealing anything, pure stoic marine. And then there was Wrex, who seemed to be in threat assessment mode and was looking at her wearily. Tali wondered out loud what technology made this possible and if Alyssa could show her how it worked? Joker was looking at her with surprise, before remembering himself and quipping: “So, can you teach me that trick? It would make getting back after a night of drinking much easier on me.” Doctor Chakwas kept her cool demeanor, apparently reserving judgment.</p><p>Garrus, however, sat back and was actually chuckling, amused sounds coming from his sub-vocals. Once this registered in the room, all eyes turned to him, and he just shook his head and said: “You’re Decian’s mystery girl. He told me last week, said some Alliance bigwig had swooped in and swept it all under the rug, made him drop all the charges.”</p><p>“True, though it has less to do with how I got here than with what comes next. And sorry, but I don’t know how I got here, and I don’t know how, or even if, I’ll ever be able to go back,” she told them, and that sobered the atmosphere in the room.</p><p>Her grief at leaving her home had made its way into her voice before she could stop it, and the team had picked up on it. Shepard reached out to quietly grasp her hand, and when she looked at him, he gave her an encouraging nod. The kind gesture wasn’t lost on the room, subtly adding the weight of Shepard’s authority to Alyssa’s story.</p><p>She took a breath and continued. “Once I realized where I was and when, I knew that I was actually not in completely unfamiliar territory, and perhaps not as lost as I could have been,” she said, and she launched into the rest of her story. About how she knew what was going to happen, how they’d used her knowledge to prepare for the Eden Prime mission, and how Anderson had pulled a lot of strings to officially get her on board the Normandy.<br/>
They all listened to her without interruption as she explained, with them glancing at Shepard for confirmation on certain parts, which he provided without hesitation. When she was done, she again looked around the room and waited for the inevitable questions.</p><p>It was Doctor Chakwas who spoke first.</p><p>“Captain Anderson called me last week, asked me an unusual question. It didn’t make sense at the time, but now I’m thinking it was a test. For you,” she added and Alyssa smiled.</p><p>“It was, I told him about the Serrice Ice Brandy and he called you to verify. He wanted something that wasn’t in any files or service records, for me to prove I wasn’t a just a hacker or a spy.”</p><p>“Indeed, that was clever. No one knew about that bottle of brandy, my dear, and I would have rather kept that secret a while longer,” Chakwas said, but she didn’t sound upset as much as amused.</p><p>“So you say you know about us and about what’s going to happen on our mission, right? Can we test what you know for ourselves?” Ashley asked, a hint of suspicion entering her voice.</p><p>“Of course, that’s why we’re doing this now. I’ll talk to all of you and answer any questions I can. I know how important it is that you can trust me, and it goes both ways. You need to be able to trust me when you go on missions, and I need to trust you to keep my secret and keep me safe,” Alyssa said. “All our lives depend on it, mine just as much as yours.”</p><p>Letting that sink in, Alyssa sat down next to Shepard, who again nodded encouragingly, and patted her knee as if to say ‘good job’. All eyes were on her and she could see the wheels spinning behind them, everyone lost in their own thoughts.</p><p>Abruptly, Wrex stood up and almost growled. “Well, let’s get this over with. I’ll go first, and if this turns out to be some bullshit story, Shepard, we’re going to have a problem and I’m going to want off this hunk of metal.” The look he cut Shepard was sharp and fierce, but Shepard held it calmly and replied: “Totally fair, Wrex, I don’t want you on this mission if you don’t want to be here.”</p><p>Then he turned to Alyssa and said: “Lead the way, somewhere private, where we can talk.”</p><p>“Sure thing, Wrex. We’ll go into the Commander’s office, come on.”</p><p>Once they got there, she realized again how big Wrex was in such an enclosed space. But she forced herself to calm down, she wasn’t lying, and she knew enough about him that she could use to convince him.</p><p>“Okay, Wrex, ask me anything,” she said. They had sat down on chairs opposite each other, Wrex eying her wearily. A seasoned warrior doesn’t trust easily, and he’d seen more betrayal than most, she knew.</p><p>“What do you know about me?” he asked gruffly.</p><p>“Quite a bit, I think, some things about your past, a bit more about your future. I know you have a broodbrother named Wreav, although you’re not that fond of each other. He’s more traditional than you are, but I suspect it’s still nice to have family, especially after what happened in the Hollows with Jarrod,” she said carefully.</p><p>“What do you know about Jarrod?” he demanded.</p><p>“I know he’s your father, and he wanted the Krogan to wage war against the Council races for causing the Genophage. You believed it was a senseless loss of life, leaving the Krogan diminished and unable to recover their strength and their numbers. The Hollows are sacred grounds for Krogan, no killing allowed. You thought he might betray you, but you went anyway. He ordered the deaths of anyone that disagreed with him, and tried to kill you. You were faster though, driving your dagger into his chest, killing him before escaping. The attack damaged his armor, which was your grandfathers’. You’d very much like to have it back. It’s a family heirloom.”</p><p>He nodded and was quiet for a long time after that, looking down at his hands. All aggression had left him, replaced by a calm sadness. She knew it was a painful memory for him, but it was the one thing she had that could convince him she knew him and was telling the truth.</p><p>Finally he asked: “What about my future?”</p><p>She smiled at him warmly. “In the one I know about, the one I’d like to help make happen, you fight alongside Shepard to defeat Saren, and then you return to Tuchanka to reunite the clans. You become a respected leader, clan Urdnot is strong and you are the voice of the Krogan people in the war with the Reapers. You push for a Genophage cure and get it. You save your people’s future, Wrex, give the Krogan a chance to rebuild. You don’t do it alone, and Shepard helps as much as he’s able. It’s not easy, it doesn’t happen without a fight, but you are an unstoppable force, you get it done.” She smiled proudly at him.</p><p>“I believe the Genophage is a mistake, Wrex, one that needs to be corrected sooner rather than later. We’ll work on it, do whatever it takes. You have my support, and I know Shepard will agree to it as well.” Eventually, she added to herself.</p><p>“Well, if you put it like that, it sounds like I’d be a fool not to believe you. Fuck it, I’m in, Alyssa, I’ll tell Shepard myself.”</p><p>“Thanks, Wrex, appreciate it. Send in whoever’s next, would ya?” she asked him as he was leaving.</p><p>“Sure thing,” he responded.</p><p>She exhaled and allowed herself to relax a little. That had gone well and it had helped calm her nerves. She knew she wasn't out of the woods yet, and that it was unlikely that everyone would be as easily convinced, but she'd been worried about Wrex' reaction, and a volatile Krogan on a small spaceship was a bad idea.</p><p>***</p><p>The next one turned out to be Ashley. She entered looking weary, a guarded expression on her face. Alyssa smiled at her and invited her to sit down, in the seat Wrex had vacated.</p><p>“That was quite a story back there, Alyssa, and Wrex was vocal about supporting you when he came back. Pretty impressive convincing the Krogan, although they’re not exactly known for their higher reasoning skills.”</p><p>“Yeah, that right there, exactly what we talked about before. I’m going to need you to stop doing that. I warned you and now you’ll be serving on a crew with different species and while I know you change your mind in the future, and revise this xenophobic stance, it’s grating on my nerves. You are better than this, and it would be better for you if you get rid of that chip on your shoulder before it brings you down,” Alyssa told her, anger flaring at her callously putting Wrex down like that. Her original plan of keeping calm went right out the window.</p><p>“What fucking chip on my shoulder? And for the record, I’m not a xenophobe, I just think – “ Ashley burst out.</p><p>“- that humanity should be relying on ourselves, not our allies, because you never know how long they will remain allies, am I about right?” Alyssa interrupted.</p><p>“You think because you would choose a Human over an alien when the going gets tough, every other person in the galaxy thinks the same way and we’d all be better off sticking to our own foxholes. Does that about cover the breadth and width of your argument?” Alyssa continued, challenging her.</p><p>“Look, I’m just being careful here, it’s not like it’s been a walk in the park to get to where I am, you know,” Ashley responded defensively.</p><p>“I know. I also know that most of what you think now is because you’ve never worked with them before. That’s why I told you to lay off it until you get to know them. I know you’ve had to work harder than anyone else, and I know it’s because of your grandfather. I get why your family wouldn’t be chomping at the bit about working with other species. I’m just saying you will change your mind later and so, for now, don’t act on your prejudice,” Alyssa said, letting go of some of her hostility and trying for a more measured response instead.</p><p>Ashley sighed heavily and glared at her. She seemed to be making a conscious effort to get a grip on her temper. Alyssa waited her out, having made her original point.</p><p>Taking another deep breath, Ashley finally replied: “This isn’t what I came here to talk about. My grandfather’s actions are common knowledge, it isn’t classified and we’ve already talked about my views on other species. You haven’t told me anything new yet.” There was a note of petulance in her voice and Alyssa had to work hard not to let her exasperation with the stubborn brunette take over.</p><p>Instead, she nodded to acknowledge the shift in topic and smiled. If she wanted proof, Alyssa would give her proof.</p><p>“I cannot rest from travel: I will drink life to the lees. All times I have enjoy’d greatly, have suffer’d greatly, both with those that loved me, and alone,” Alyssa recited from Ulysses. Ashley’s eyes went wide, her demeanor changed completely.</p><p>“I know a bit about your family. I know your father’s favorite poem was ‘Ulysses’ and you know it by heart. He would ask you to record it for him every time he deployed. You have three sisters, and are especially proud of Sarah, who quite effectively fought off a handsy boyfriend at school. How am I doing?”</p><p>Ashley couldn’t hide her surprise and nodded. “True enough. I thought your story was too strange to be believed, but I’m not sure how else you could know all this. And you know what is going to happen?”</p><p>“Well, there’s a lot of uncertainty, and we are going to war, but yes, the broad strokes are pretty clear. Everyone has a choice though, you get to decide how to live your life. But I think I can help prepare the team for missions and support Shepard with some of the big decisions, if he’ll let me,” she said.</p><p>“This is too weird for me, Alyssa, I’m inclined to believe you, but I need some time to think about this. If I have questions later, can I come back and ask them?” She sounded more thoughtful than upset now, which Alyssa took to be a good sign.</p><p>“Sure, whatever you need. Everybody has their own process and works at their own speed. You can always ask me other questions later,” she replied, making sure her tone was warm and as sincere as possible.</p><p>“Thanks, I’ve got to say, this wasn’t what I was expecting when we left the Citadel this morning.”</p><p>“I know. And I know it’s weird. Let me know if you want to talk again. I’ll be around.” </p><p>She realized that was all she was going to be getting from Ashley. But it was a good first step, none the less. Now if she could only stop herself from getting annoyed with her every time she saw her.</p><p>***</p><p>After a few minutes of respite, Kaiden came in.</p><p>“Hey, Alyssa, are you okay?” he asked her.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s been a strange week, that’s all.”</p><p>“I bet. Don’t worry about me, the whole Eden Prime mission makes a lot more sense now. Nihlus and Shepard knew exactly what was coming, I’ve never seen anything like it. And you knew to intercept Vakarian before he went into the clinic. I thought you were crazy, but it actually all makes sense. So you’ll hear no arguments from me, I believe you,” he said, giving her a shy smile.</p><p>“Thanks, Kaiden, I appreciate that,” she responded, relieved and grateful for his acceptance. She stood up to give him a hug. It felt like the right thing to do. She was so happy he trusted her without needing validation.</p><p>“No problem, Shepard trusts you, so does Nihlus and I’ve seen first-hand the difference it makes on a mission. I’d be stupid not to trust you too.”</p><p>A weight lifted off her shoulders. It was going well, even if she was getting tired, she thought as Kaiden left the captain's cabin. </p><p>***</p><p>The next one to knock on the door was Tali.</p><p>“Hi Alyssa, can I come in?” she asked, staying by the door.</p><p>“Absolutely, come in, sit down,” she invited her, smiling because she already liked the Quarian, even though she'd only been on the ship a few days.</p><p>“So, I have been thinking about this, and talking to Shepard. You really have no idea how you got here? The technology must be amazing, I have never seen anything like it. It is difficult to believe it was merely random chance however. It almost seems like you were meant to be here.”</p><p>“Yeah, the same thought has crossed my mind. Why me, and why here? But I’m running with it. If my knowledge helps, then I’ll use it to speed up this fight and to prevent as many casualties as I can.”</p><p>“I have to ask, Alyssa, what do you know about me?” she tilted her head to observe her closely, waiting for her answer.</p><p>“For starters, you’re on your Pilgrimage, that’s not a secret. I know a little about your family. Your mother passed away a few years ago when an airborne virus swept through the Flotilla. Your father is Rael’Zorah, the head of the Admiralty Board, which puts additional pressure on you to find something of real value to complete your Pilgrimage. You are an outstanding mechanic, and if engineer Adams hasn’t already discovered it, he will soon and I don’t think he’ll ever want you to leave the Normandy,” she said as she smiled at Tali. It was impossible not to like her or appreciate her skillset.</p><p>“Admiral Shala’Raan, or Auntie Raan, as you call her, is one of your families’ closest friends, and she was with your mother when she gave birth to you, which involved some really complicated logistics with their suits to be in the same bubble.”</p><p>Surprise coated her voice when she replied: “That’s pretty good, Alyssa, not many people know about Auntie Raan, how do you?”</p><p>“Well, at some time in the future, you will be recalled to the fleet and she’s there. I don’t want to get into the details now, but that’s how I know. I like her, she’s smart, and tough, but fair.”</p><p>Tali chuckled and nodded: “That’s a very accurate description of her.”</p><p>“It was also very clear how much she loves you,” Alyssa added, warmth flowing through in her voice at the memory of how the older woman had tried to protect Tali during her trial. Her methods may have been blunt, but she'd had Tali's best intentions at heart.</p><p>“Thank you, she’s my father’s closest friend and more than an aunt to me,” Tali said. “It amazes me that you know any of this, Quarians are so isolated in the Flotilla,” she added. She seemed to be observing Alyssa closely, and it appeared she came to some sort of decision, because she straightened her posture and gave herself a nod, as if in confirmation of her thought process.</p><p>“Alyssa, I’m inclined to believe your story. It seems you not only have the faith of your captain, but Wrex and Kaiden returned to the comms room to confirm to Shepard that they believe you as well,” Tali said, and Alyssa’ heart warmed at her words. Tali believing her meant a lot.</p><p>“Well, in that case, I hope this is not too soon, but I’m afraid I have a favor to ask.” She stopped and checked with Tali before continuing.</p><p>When Tali nodded, she explained: “Your father is interested in the Geth and wants to develop more effective weapons against them. He’ll ask you to send back deactivated Geth parts, if he hasn’t already. You must convince him to abandon the project. It will drive him to take irresponsible risks. I can’t get into the specifics, suffice to say he has to abandon his project.” Alyssa felt bad about having to tell her, knowing her relationship with her father was strained already. But at least if she could keep both of them alive, they would have a shot at getting closer. Alyssa didn’t want to tell Tali that her father would die otherwise, taking all the Quarian scientists aboard his ship with him, or that it would lead to her being accused of treason. It was too much, too soon. Alyssa would have to wait. She knew Tali was kind and reasonable, she would likely forgive her for trying to spare her grief before they had built any sort of trust between them.</p><p>“My father did ask me to send him Geth parts if I came across them on my Pilgrimage,” Tali responded, doubt creeping into her voice.</p><p>“Please don’t send him any. There is a lot more to the Quarian - Geth war than the Quarians are aware of and knowing it will change your perspective dramatically. I don’t want you to do anything that you will regret,” she urged Tali.</p><p>“I don’t know about that, the Geth won’t stop until all the Quarians are wiped out. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to change my mind about them. My father is working to get Rannoch back. He wants me to have a home on our home planet. He does everything with that goal in mind. I will look into it and talk to him about what he’s doing. Thank you, Alyssa.”</p><p>“Thank you, Tali,” she said and then Tali left and she was alone again.</p><p>She was feeling drained already and she still had a few more people to go. She hadn’t seen Joker, or Chakwas, or Garrus yet. She could use some food, her stomach growled at her. As if summoned by thought alone, Shepard entered, carrying a lunch tray with food for them both and ordered her to rest and eat.</p><p>“You look tired, Red, how are you holding up? Tell me how it went while you eat?” he asked, handing her a plate and dropping down at his desk to eat.</p><p>“Wrex, Kaiden and I think Tali believe me. Ashley’s a bit more guarded, but I’m not surprised. How were things in the comms room?” She informed him as she took the proffered food gratefully.</p><p>“Well, we had some discussions about what you said, and Kaiden and I told them about the Eden Prime mission, and how you briefed me about the jobs on the Citadel. How you knew what the Reaper was and why it’s here," he explained as she bit into her sandwich and worked fast to devour it.</p><p>"Joker said he trusts you and doesn’t need to know about the future. Said you’re fast becoming his friend and that appearing out of thin air was just part of your charm.” Shepard grinned at her, and Alyssa couldn’t hide a smile. She was indeed becoming Joker’s friend and partner in crime, even if Shepard didn’t know about that last part.</p><p>“Doctor Chakwas only asked that you come into the med bay, so she can make sure you’re healthy. She may want to do a psych evaluation though. You should probably go there later if you can. I don’t think she’s that interested other than how it can affect mission readiness.” That also made sense, the doc was a practical woman and would want to make sure she wasn’t endangering any of them.</p><p>“That only leaves Garrus,” Shepard continued and she focused all her attention on him then, “and he would like a word with you alone later, but agreed with me that you could use some food first. He offered to meet you in your quarters instead, give me my office back.”</p><p>“That’s nice of him, and of you. Sorry for hogging the office, boss,” she told him and they smiled at each other. She marveled again at how easy it was to talk to him.</p><p>“Not a problem, but I will kick you out eventually, people are going to talk if you start living here,” he quipped.</p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it, Shepard,” she said with a wink.</p><p>They finished their meal in companionable silence before she excused herself and returned to her quarters. She freshened up a little and then let Garrus know that he could come see her.</p><p>***</p><p>He swaggered into her quarters a few minutes later, a pleased look on his face and his bright blue eyes looking straight through her.</p><p>“Score one for Vakarian, I knew something was up,” he told her, his mandibles flexing and sub-vocals almost purring with delight.</p><p>“Congratulations, Garrus, your unrivaled detective skills are no match for my measly attempts at subterfuge,” she gamely complimented him.</p><p>“It’s a crazy story, Alyssa, but it does explain your behavior. Is there something I should know, about what’s going to happen? I’d like to help,” he added.</p><p>She looked at him in amazement, he was the first one to ask her if there was something he needed to know. He seemed to just accept the situation, and asked how he could help. Her surprise must have shown on her face, because before she could respond, he continued.</p><p>“Don’t look at me like that, you went out of your way to accommodate Tali and I on the food and a bed for me, and after hearing Joker rave about his new chair, I’d bet money on that being your doing as well. And I saw how happy you were to see everyone when you walked into the comms room with Anderson, like you were seeing old friends instead of strangers.” He looked proud at having figured it all out and was clearly enjoying giving her his report on his findings.</p><p>“You’re not scared of Wrex, even though everyone in their right mind would be. You grabbed Tali by the arm like she was your sister and you knew exactly where she would be most comfortable. Either you have one hell of a knack for the hospitality business, or you know us,” he continued, sub-vocals emitting a proud humming.</p><p>“Sure, your explanation for it is a bit unnerving, I can’t say I like being considered fictional entertainment. I do believe you don’t know how you got here. Decian had the same impression, by the way, ‘baffled but truthful’ was how he put it. So, you can tell me anything that you think I need to know, and I’ll help. I promise.” </p><p>Alyssa was completely speechless. Just as she had secretly hoped, Garrus had believed her and wanted to help her. No questions asked, because he already had the answers. Her brow furrowed and she considered what to say, and how to say it. She had all of his attention now, clever eyes focused on her, visor and all.</p><p>“We need to keep Shepard alive. Without him, we can’t win. I’ll do it from up here, but I need you down there with him, watching his six. You’re loyal, and you don’t follow bad orders no matter who issues them. You keep him sharp, and honest. He can rely on you and in time, will do so implicitly. Everyone else is a bonus, important to the mission, sure, but you and he are vital to winning the Reaper War,” she finally said when she was able to find her voice. She looked at him, pride reflected in her eyes, almost willing him to see himself the way she did.</p><p>“Damn, Alyssa, that’s a lot to just lay on someone. I didn’t think I was more than a small cog in the system.” She saw the flush creep up the back of his neck, and he rubbed it reflexively, embarrassed by her frank assessment of him.</p><p>“Sorry, big guy, you’re in it for the long haul. Can’t win the war without you. I need your help to keep Shepard alive, and to make sure the stress doesn’t kill him. He’ll push himself too hard, and he needs friends to lean on, or he’ll suffer more than he needs to. We can use what I know to minimize casualties, but I worry about the toll being the tip of the spear will take on Shepard. Will you help me?” she pleaded with him. She needed an ally to help carry the load, and Garrus and Shepard were good for each other.</p><p>“Of course I’ll help. Didn’t I just say I would? I’ll make sure he’s safe in the field, and we’ll both make sure he has some healthy outlets to cope with the stress. I’ll be his friend, and yours too, Alyssa,” he promised her.</p><p>The kind offer touched her deeply, and she realized that it was what she needed on a basic Human level. A connection, a friendship she could build on, someone she could be here with.</p><p>“I’d like a friend, Garrus, and I happen to have it on good authority that you are an excellent friend to have,” and her smile couldn’t be bigger if she tried. His smile matched hers, mandibles flaring and all, and the pleased rumble he produced was confirmation it was real.</p><p>“I would be remiss in my duties as a friend if I didn’t ask. Alyssa, would you tell me what this has been like for you?” and his thoughtfulness bowled her over. Swallowing hard, she took a moment to gather her thoughts before answering him.</p><p>“It’s been weird, and scary. I’m scared I’ll disappear and return to my own time. I don’t want to, I want to stay here and help. Weird because I feel at home here, with all of you. You weren’t wrong when you said I think of you as friends, although I know I’m not yet. I hope to be, but it will take time.” He reached out a taloned, three-fingered hand, rubbing her upper arm in a soothing motion.</p><p>“I can’t even imagine how disorienting it must have been for you, just showing up on the Citadel like that.”</p><p>“Disoriented is the right way to describe it. Took me some time to see where I was, and longer still to believe it. I was lucky Chellick was the one picking me up. He was nice to me, helped when he didn’t have to,” she said, smiling at the memory.</p><p>“I think he was a little smitten with you, to tell you the truth. He wouldn’t stop telling me about this pretty redheaded Human that popped up out of nowhere,” he told her with a fond expression on his face, recalling his friend. Alyssa smiled and felt a blush creep up her face.</p><p>“Can I ask you something else?” he asked, gauging her reaction carefully before proceeding.</p><p>“You can ask me anything,” and she meant it. If she could help it, she wouldn’t keep secrets from Garrus. Or Shepard for that matter.</p><p>“What was going to happen at the med clinic if you hadn’t interfered? I heard you and Shepard. You sent him there.”</p><p>“I did. You told Chellick you’d stop by there first and I knew what would happen. You crouching in the clinic, with Doctor Michel being held hostage and Fists’ men threatening her life if she didn’t tell them about Tali. Shepard would come in and distract them, and you’d shoot the one holding the doc right in the head. Cool, level-headed, absolutely sure you could make the shot without jeopardizing the hostage. Shepard and his team would help you overpower the others and Doctor Michel would tell you all she knew about Tali,” she explained matter-of-factly, unable to hide how impressed she was with him.</p><p>“I knew you were coming, but we’d changed things on Eden Prime, and that rolled over to Shepard not being there on time. So I called him to let him know, because I didn’t want to put Doctor Michel or you in harm’s way. Thankfully we were there on time, and it all worked out.”</p><p>He nodded, and said: “Well, thanks for the save. I’m not sure I would have been able to take them all out without the doc getting hurt.”</p><p>“No problem. You know, the doc was quite impressed with you for saving her. I’d even go as far as saying she developed a bit of a crush. She got you dextro-chocolates. I don’t think you noticed her intentions, though. But meeting her reminded me of the dextro rations, so you still have chocolate, just not the infatuated doc hanging on your arm,” she teased him. He looked surprised, but pleased.</p><p>“The chocolate is nice. So, by getting me chocolate she was signaling her interest in me?” Alyssa nodded with a smile as a puzzled look crossed his face.</p><p>“Huh, you’re right, I would never have picked up on that. Turians are much more straightforward in their interest. Turian women are fierce and direct, it doesn’t leave a lot of room for subtlety.”</p><p>“Well, not all Humans are subtle, but Doctor Michel strikes me as a cautious woman, and I can’t imagine she’d be up to speed on Turian dating habits.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine what a Human would see in a Turian anyway, wouldn’t she want someone a little closer to home?”</p><p>“Don’t forget, you’d just saved her life, that would have added to your appeal immensely. A big, strong, obviously competent guy like you, throw in a little hero worship. Irresistible,” she grinned at him. “The fact you’re a Turian wouldn’t be a negative factor at all, I’m sure.”</p><p>“If you put it like that, I do look good,” he quipped, the confident smirk on his face firmly in place.</p><p>“Never doubt it,” she shot right back and they both grinned.</p><p>“Wasn’t I supposed to make you feel better instead of the other way around?” he asked her with fake indignity, his amusement filtering through his sub-vocals. She was getting better at picking up some of the nuances, or at least she hoped so.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I feel much better. It’s nice having a friend,” she retorted with an easy smile.</p><p>“Well, alright, I was the last one, I think. So if you’re ready, let’s get some work done. What do you say about starting sniper training? That’s something a friend can help with.”</p><p>“That sounds like just what I need. Meet you downstairs in 15 minutes?” she asked him.</p><p>“It’s a date,” he replied, echoing yesterday’s words back at her, a satisfied smirk firmly in place.</p><p>“Get out before I change my mind about the whole thing,” she laughed as she shooed him out. She could hear him laughing as he continued down the hall. It would be good to have Garrus as a friend, at least. And Shepard had proven himself to be firmly in her corner as well. Telling the team about her had gone much better than she'd dared hope. Grinning in anticipation at getting to shoot things with her favorite Turian, she hurried to change into her workout gear.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Sniper Training</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Garrus teached Alyssa the finer points of handling a sniper rifle while she tries to control her growing attraction.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To the surprise of absolutely no one, least of all Alyssa, Garrus was a wonderful teacher. He was patient, explained what they were doing and why, complimented her when she did well, and pushed when he thought she could do better.</p><p>Garrus had selected a sniper rifle for her, calling it the perfect weapon for a ‘baby sniper’. The Avenger II was heavy, something she’d have to get used to and using it seemed to require almost completely different skills than firing any of the other weapons she was qualified to use.</p><p>Garrus had her take the weapon apart, clean it, and put it back together again and then load and unload it safely several times while explaining the functionality of the sight, how it worked to calibrate the trajectory and what variables were critical factors for long range accuracy. They spent a lot of time on the scope and how to interpret the data that popped up on the screen. It was complicated, but Alyssa was eager to learn and asked him all kinds of questions. Having been weapons trained on Earth, it was a surprise when Garrus explained that the curvature, gravity and atmospheric pressure of each planet were slightly different and all these things needed to be taken into account. She was learning a lot about the complexity of both the weapon and the technique behind it, but she was anxious to actually shoot and wondering how they would manage to do that while on the ship. When she asked him, he started laughing, before sobering up when he saw her disappointed frown.</p><p>“Sorry, Alyssa, I forgot you’re not used to any of this. We don’t actually shoot, there’s simulation software that aligns the rifle with specialized visors. We’ll use these to practice while we’re on board. When we dock somewhere with a gun range, and we have some time, we can work with actual ammo and run battle sims. Or, if we have time to train while we’re on a friendly planet, I can take you out for field simulations,” he explained. His voice relaxed her and she had to work to focus on his words rather than just letting the deep tones wash over her. </p><p>“Ah, that makes sense. There’s so much I don’t know, it seems a bit daunting sometimes, you know. I worry I might never catch up,” she said, shaking her head. “Anyway, how do we start?” she asked him, bouncing on the balls of her feet, so excited she couldn't stand still.</p><p>“Well, before we start shooting, let’s start with breathing,” he said, making her pout in disappointment.</p><p>“I know how to breathe, Garrus, jeez,” she said dismissively.</p><p>“No, you don’t actually. Oh, sure, you’ve got the everyday breathing down pat, I’ll grant you. Snipers breathe differently when they’re shooting. You need to slow down your breathing, slow down your heart rate and when you pull the trigger, you do it on a slow exhale in between heartbeats. Come here, I’ll show you,” he said and moved her to stand in front of him, with her back to his front.</p><p>“Now, lean back so you can feel my breath move in my chest and here, move your hand to my wrist so you can feel my heartbeat,” he instructed calmly. He moved her hand to his wrist and placed her fingers where she could feel his pulse. She could feel it beating steadily, in a double beat rhythm similar to her own. That answered a question she hadn't known to ask.</p><p>“Got it?” he asked her when she was fully leaning against him.</p><p>“Yep, I’ve got it,” she answered, checking she could feel his heartbeat and his breathing.</p><p>“Good, now while this position will allow you to feel me breathing, I’m at a slight disadvantage. Ideally, I would place my hand on your chest somewhere, but I don’t want to reach out and touch anything inappropriate, so tell me where I can put my hand that’s not offensive, Alyssa.” She couldn’t help but smile at how careful he was being, and felt grateful to be in the care of such a conscientious teacher.</p><p>“Alright, you need breath and heartbeat. The best way to do that with one hand is to put your hand here,” she said as she reached out and grabbed his free hand, moving it across her chest to rest on her neck, positioning his fingers so he could feel her pulse, which was going much faster than his. His longer reach meant his arm fit below and then in between her breasts, snaking up to her neck.</p><p>“Rest the weight of your arm across my chest and you’ll be able to monitor my breathing as well,” she told him. He complied and she felt the weight of his arm settle across her. It felt pretty comfortable and he wasn't technically touching anything inappropriate. “Does that work?” she asked him.</p><p>“Ahem, yes, it does, I feel you breathing and I feel your pulse,” he answered her and she would swear he sounded a bit flustered. She hadn't been this close to him before and even though it was clearly just a part of their training, it felt kind of intimate. She tried not to dwell on that thought too much, as it wasn't very helpful at the moment.</p><p>“Good, so now let’s see if we can synchronize our breathing first, then slow it down. Follow the count: breathe in, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four. And again.”</p><p>She did as he told her, her breath evening out and matching his after a few minutes. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been this still and close against anyone before.</p><p>“Okay, good. Now let’s go slower still. Deep, relaxed breaths, Alyssa, take in more air and release slowly.” Again she did as she was told, feeling herself relax. Inadvertently, she shifted her position and moved against Garrus. He braced the arm he held her with and made a cooing sound with his sub-vocals.</p><p>“Relax, I’ve got you. Don’t worry, try again," he whispered in her ear.</p><p>The sound, combined with the feeling of being securely held was so comforting that she let out a small moan and tensed up as soon as she realized what she had done. She froze, worrying about what he would think, not daring to turn around. Relaxed state gone, her heart rate picked up significantly and her focus on her breathing vanished.</p><p>“Garrus, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I got distracted, sorry, just – just give me a minute, okay,” she stumbled away, embarrassed. For a second there, she'd felt safe and more at ease than she'd been since arriving on the Citadel. The sudden absence of stress and fear drove home to her how much of it she'd been experiencing lately. How strange that it would happen with a Turian, the very textbook example of an apex predator. But no, that wasn't fair, she chastised herself, it was Garrus. She knew him, or at least she felt like she did. And somehow, he felt safe.</p><p>He stood back, letting her regain her composure. A few deep breaths and some mental gymnastics later, she turned back around to face him. She’d better explain herself, he must already be thinking she was half cracked.</p><p>“Sorry, Garrus. I was relaxing into the deeper breaths, and I was comfortable, I guess, with your arm around me, and then when your sub-vocals cooed at me, I got a bit carried away. It was unprofessional, you’re trying to help me, and – well, anyway. I’m sorry,” she finished lamely, not really looking at him. She felt the fierce blush on her cheeks and quietly cursed her misfortune at having such an obvious tell.</p><p>“Not sure what you should be apologizing for, Alyssa, no harm done. I was feeling pretty comfortable myself, so if anyone needs to apologize, it’s me. Not sure what came over me.”</p><p>Glancing up at him, she saw him flush with embarrassment too. Great, now they were both blushing like a pair of idiots.</p><p>“Can we try again? The breathing, I mean, obviously. I’d like to learn,” she stumbled over her words, which did nothing to get rid of <i>her</i> blush.</p><p>“Right, yeah, sure. Ahem, same stance as before. We’ll try again. Come on,” and she could swear he was babbling a bit too.</p><p>She knew why he made her nervous, but he seemed to be nervous too. Great, now she'd weirded him out, way to make him feel uncomfortable, Alyssa, she thought, chagrined with herself about her lack of control around him. She moved into her previous position, with her back and head against his chest, her hand on his wrist and his arm across her chest with one of his long fingers on the pulse in her neck.</p><p>“Okay, deep breaths. Same as before. Inhale for four, hold, two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four. Good, keep going,” Garrus encouraged her with just his voice, apparently controlling his sub-vocals.</p><p>She made it a point to actually concentrate this time, and to stay focused instead of melting against him. Again it took a few minutes to synchronize their breathing.</p><p>“Good, now let’s try deepening our breath again. And exhale, two, three, four, five,” he instructed and she focused on the rise and fall of his chest, matching his rhythm.</p><p>His heart rate slowed as his breathing deepened and she could feel him apply a tiny amount of pressure in her neck, checking her pulse as well.</p><p>“That’s it,” he encouraged her. “We’ll stay in this rhythm for a while, try to keep steady and when you feel secure, relax into it. It will slow your heart rate down and even out your breathing.”</p><p>She did as he said, and felt herself relaxing and her heart rate slowing. Slowly, she released the tension in her body and leaned into him, concentrating on the rise and fall of his chest and the soft exhales of breath that passed by her head.</p><p>“Good, Alyssa, you’re doing well. See if you can keep it up,” he complimented her again, his voice pitched low, acknowledging the lack of distance between them and trying not to break her concentration.</p><p>As they stood there, just breathing together in silence as the minutes stretched, it seemed like they were two halves of one whole, perfectly attuned to one another, standing completely still. The moment seemed to stretch until, with a small intake of air coming from behind her, the spell was broken. Garrus’ pulse sped up under her finger, the sensation of holding him there already numbed except for the small cadence of steady beats below her pointer finger. The tiny jolt made her move and they broke apart, both slightly dazed. Garrus seemed to pull himself together first, while Alyssa had to take a moment as the worries of the world rushed back to her.</p><p>“That was excellent progress for your first try. Really, well done, Alyssa,” he said, beaming at her, his mandibles flaring into a smile and a pleased hum coming from his sub-vocals. It was such a satisfying sound, that she again felt sorry for Humans for not having this fuller array of vocal expressions.</p><p>“It was a bit strange at first, but I think I see what you mean now, calm and relaxed means less chance of pulling the rifle off target,” she said, thinking it over.</p><p>“Exactly the point. It would be a good idea to practice the breathing every day until it becomes more natural. You can set your omni-tool to monitor your pulse to see if it works,” he added helpfully.</p><p>It was strange, being that close together had felt completely natural to her. Of course it had, she thought, that familiar feeling had been there since the first time they'd met. But he didn’t know her at all, so it wouldn’t be the same for him. Suddenly she was worried she'd crossed a line and embarrassment flooded her at the thought that she might have made him uncomfortable. Pulling herself together took some effort, but it had been a wonderful evening, she'd learned so much and spending time with Garrus had been amazing. But it was getting late and she was tired.</p><p>“Thanks for the lesson, Garrus, I appreciate it. You’re a good teacher. I should get going. Goodnight, big guy,” she said and she really wanted to step up to him and give him a hug. She refrained however, thinking it might be unwanted. One mishap had been bad enough, better to just call it a night.</p><p>“Goodnight, Alyssa,” he smiled at her, and she distinctly heard what she thought was a satisfied chirp. So, maybe it hadn't been as bad as she'd feared. That thought buoyed her and she grinned all the way to her quarters.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa's deep-seated concerns finally catch up with her, but a friend helps her gain some much needed perspective.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sleep was slow in coming. She finally decided that perhaps she needed a shower to warm her up and help her sleep and got out of bed, feeling like an idiot. Thankfully, it was quiet in the hallway, and she had the showers to herself.</p><p>She was contemplating the day’s events as the warm water washed over her. As she was applying shampoo to her hair, she thought back to talking to Garrus about her fear of suddenly disappearing and winding up back home. It had plagued her a few nights ago too, making sleep difficult then as well. She was struggling with how arbitrarily she had ended up here, and how she could be taken back the same way. It had rattled her, and she couldn’t ignore the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>Logically, she knew it wasn’t productive to worry about something she had no control over, but her stomach wasn’t interested in logic. The feeling remained. Toweling off, she was muttering curses to herself, already realizing that sleep would not be her companion tonight. She would damn well try though, thinking that perhaps meditating before bed would calm her nerves.</p><p>It didn’t. </p><p>She tried it for more than thirty minutes before giving it up as a bad job and sinking into the sheets miserably. The hum of the engines was soothing, but not enough to put her to sleep, and she wasn’t used to the sounds on board yet. When she heard a small metallic groan, it took a concerted effort not to imagine the hull breaching and her body floating out to space and freezing over, sure she would never sleep again if she allowed that thought to take root.</p><p>The next morning found her still staring at the ceiling, having tried everything she could think of to drift off, to no avail. Then there was nothing for it, but to get up and get started with her day.</p><p>***</p><p>Tali joined her for breakfast and was talking excitedly about the drive core and some improvements she’d been discussing with engineer Adams. Alyssa was listening with as much enthusiasm as she could muster after a long, frustrating, sleepless night. Tali didn't seem to notice though, or if she did, chose not to comment on it.</p><p>“That sounds really cool, Tali, glad to see you’re settling in and enjoying yourself,” Alyssa told her.</p><p>“Oh, it’s fascinating, I can’t believe you were able to fit a drive core of that size into a ship this small. I’m starting to understand why you Humans are so successful,” she added enthusiastically.</p><p>“Glad you like it, Tali. Not all Humans unfortunately. I don’t even know how to operate a coffee machine around here, let alone a ship. It’s intimidating, actually, there’s all this complex technology and I have no idea how any of it works. I was happy to have figured out my omni-tool, and I’m sure I don’t know all of what it can do,” she confessed with a small smile.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Alyssa, I can teach you the basics. Quarians are born tinkerers, I’ll show you how things work. It’ll be my pleasure,” came the easy offer of help from the bubbly Quarian. </p><p>“That would be really great, Tali, I appreciate it. I think I need to catch up to my surroundings, be more useful and feel less out of place,” she gratefully accepted. It would help if she knew her way around the machines that made up part of daily life on board the ship. </p><p>“Now, that, I do understand,” Tali said, “being on my Pilgrimage has been lonely at times, and frightening. Other races don’t care much for Quarians, and treat us like second-class citizens. It was a big change when I left the Flotilla.”</p><p>“I bet. We’ll just have to help each other cope, I guess,” Alyssa smiled at her and received a firm nod back.</p><p>It should be difficult to gauge Tali’s mood or intentions, without being able to see her face, but it wasn’t, not really. Her voice conveyed so much emotion and she was completely open in her body language as well. It seemed there was no reason to hide your intentions in the Flotilla. That kind of trust could be dangerous in the rest of the galaxy though. Tali’d already been targeted once.<br/>
They chatted on about life on board the Normandy, until breakfast was definitely finished and they both needed to get on with things. Alyssa was off to the med bay, per Doc Chakwas’ suggestion.</p><p>***</p><p>“Morning Doc, I’m here for my check up,” she called out as she entered the med bay. She found Doctor Chakwas behind her work terminal, and she turned in her chair to smile at Alyssa.</p><p>“Good, I see the commander gave you my message. Quite a remarkable story you told us yesterday, Alyssa. I’ve been thinking about the medical implications; I have several concerns and would like to make sure you’re physically and mentally sound,” Doctor Chakwas said, standing up and waiving her to the med pod bed.</p><p>“Sit down, please and we’ll discuss it.” Then she closed the shutters on the windows and Alyssa heard the door seal beep. “There, total privacy.” Alyssa appreciated the gesture.</p><p>“Alright, Doctor, tell me the plan,” Alyssa said as she sat down on the bed.</p><p>“Well, I don’t have any of your medical data, so a good place to start would be with your medical history; injuries, treatments, family history,” she started and Alyssa nodded. That made perfect sense.</p><p>“I also want to check you out completely so we can build your medical file. I want to make sure you’re healthy. That means blood work and scans. It should also catch if the shimmer has caused you harm in any way,” she continued and again, Alyssa could only nod. The plan was fine with her so far.</p><p>“We need to get you up to speed on the standard vaccinations recommended for Humans. I did some research and there’s no reason why we cannot put you on an expedited regimen to get you caught up. You’ll have to come back a couple of times in the next few weeks to get your shots. How does that sound?” Doctor Chakwas continued.</p><p>“That sounds alright, I think I can handle that,” Alyssa confirmed.</p><p>“Finally, I want to investigate specifically if there are any psychological abnormalities. I need to make sure you’re stable and not experiencing any mental health issues,” Doctor Chakwas said and her sharp looked bolted Alyssa to the bed. She’d been prepared for it, Shepard having mentioned it to her, but it was still disconcerting. Alyssa knew, or thought she knew, that she wasn’t making this up, but it felt uncomfortable to think Doctor Chakwas thought there might be something wrong with her. Like she was imagining it or something. Or having some sort of mental break. Deciding that it was in all their best interest that the Doc was thorough and remembering that Karin Chakwas was really good at her job, she agreed.</p><p>“I don’t think there’s much wrong with me, but I know it’s important to be sure. If I'm unstable, that can impact the safety of the crew, so yes, please go ahead and run whatever test you want to ascertain my mental status,” she told the doctor, even managing a smile.</p><p>“Excellent. We won’t be able to do everything today, I don’t want to overexert you, but we’ll start with the basics; medical history, blood work and scans. You’ll have to come back tomorrow for your first round of shots and we’ll start with the psychological testing then as well,” Doctor Chakwas said, as she found a datapad to get started.</p><p>Alyssa spent the next few hours recounting her medical and family history, having her blood drawn and laying still for scans of various body parts, and finally of her whole body as well. When it seemed that at last, Doctor Chakwas was satisfied, she let her go, promising to discuss the first results with her tomorrow. </p><p>***</p><p>Thoroughly exhausted now, Alyssa left the med bay. Even though Chakwas had been professional and nice, she’d still been poked and prodded enough for her taste. She wanted some food and a nap. Thankfully there weren’t any real demands on her time at the moment, so she could do what she wanted. She decided against sitting by herself in the mess hall, and took her food back to her quarters instead. Once she’d eaten her fill, she kicked off her shoes and socks, changed into her Alliance provided pajamas and nestled herself back in bed. The combination of her full stomach and her general exhaustion were finally enough to let her fall asleep.</p><p>
<i>She was leaning against Garrus’ chest, practicing her breathing. She felt good, comfortable, safe even. She felt his chest rise and fall against her back, and his arm felt good across her chest, between her breasts, like it belonged there. Belonged to her. She could stay here forever.</i></p><p>
  <i>But she didn’t. She felt Garrus flinch before she noticed anything herself. He pulled back from her, turning her quickly and she looked at him in surprise. His eyes were fixed on her, horrified, fear and panic on his face. She looked down at herself, bringing up her hand, and it was shimmering, just like the rest of her. She looked back at Garrus in despair and tried to scream, but made no sound. Then she vanished and all she could see was black. She couldn’t feel her body, or hear anything and she tried to shout, but there was no sound. There was no throat, or mouth. She tried to move her hand to her throat, but there was no hand. There was just nothingness. She was swallowed whole by the blackness that was everywhere around her, and inside her.</i>
</p><p>She awoke with a scream and it took her several moments to realize where she was. She saw her desk, with the tray of food still on it, and brought her hand up to her face to check if it was still there. Her breaths were erratic and her pulse was all over the place. She tried to calm down, dial back the panic attack she could feel asserting itself. She needed to calm down.<br/>
Remembering Garrus’ breathing exercise, she held her hand to her heart and counted. Inhale, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four. Repeating the mantra in her head again and again, it took her several minutes to get control back over her breathing. Once she realized it was working, she focused on her heart rate until that too was more acceptable.</p><p>Her dream, well, nightmare really, had been so real, so vivid. It had started off nice enough, with her breathing with Garrus, chest to back, but then it had turned, and the panic had set in. Dreams could be like that, she knew rationally. Whenever she'd had particularly vivid dreams in the past, they had always shaken her, and sometimes the feelings she had in the dream lingered long after she had woken up. Mentally and physically shaking herself, she forced herself off the bed to finish the last of her drink, which was still on the tray.</p><p>She felt drained, and if she was honest with herself, scared. Sure, going back home before she wanted to go back was scary, but she finally realized what her subconscious had known all along. There was no guarantee that she would go back if the shimmer claimed her again. She could just as easily disappear, and no one would know, and no could help her. She’d be all alone, stuck god knows where, forever. As that realization settled inside her, she felt her stomach churn violently. She was going to be sick.</p><p>Rushing out the door to reach the bathroom in time, she wasn’t aware of anyone or anything. Blind panic made her move, that horrible feeling of urgency before she upended her entire stomach content. Pushing her way into the stall, she made it just in time not to make a mess all over the little cubicle. Afterwards, she collapsed onto the floor, trying in vain to catch her breath and calm down again. She felt truly miserable; tired, scared and now nauseous, she felt sorry for herself and allowed herself a little time to wallow in it. She’d get back up in a minute, clean up and put on a brave face for anyone she might see in the corridor, but for now, for right here, she just needed a minute, to calm down and convince herself she wasn’t going to just disappear.</p><p>As her breathing slowed down again and she started feeling silly for being on the cold floor, she hoisted herself up and made her way to one of the washbasins. She let the water run cold before rinsing out her mouth, and cleaning up her face and hands. The cold water settled her, and she raised her head to look in the mirror. Her skin was too pale and she had dark shadows under her eyes. Her left eye was bloodshot; she must have burst a blood vessel when she threw up. The overall effect was eerie and made her look worse than she felt. The bathroom's lighting wasn’t doing her any favors either.</p><p>Again she forced herself to calm down using Garrus’ breathing exercise. When she felt better, she turned to walk out of the bathroom and go back to her room. As soon as she passed the threshold, she noticed a large body leaning against the wall next to her, evidently waiting for her to come out.</p><p>“Are you alright, what happened?” Garrus asked, and his eyes matched the obvious concern in his voice. He turned to gently grab her upper arms, and dipped his head down so he could be level with hers, checking her closely.</p><p>She looked at him and offered him a small smile. He wasn’t having it however, focusing on her bloodshot eye and slightly wet hair from where she’d cleaned her face.</p><p>“If you’re sick, I’ll take you to the med bay,” he offered. “I think you look sick, something’s wrong with your eye. Come on,” he insisted, trying to steer her in the right direction. </p><p>“No, Garrus, please don’t. I spent the whole morning there already, I’m fine. I want to go to my quarters,” she told him, her voice sounding weak to her own ears.</p><p>“Alyssa, you’re clearly not well, Doctor Chakwas can check you out and help,” he tried again, concern written all over his face.</p><p>“It’s nothing physical, Garrus, please, she won’t be able to help. I’ll be fine if I can just rest up a bit. In my own room,” she almost pleaded, hoping he would listen to her and do as she asked.</p><p>“Fine, if you’re sure, I’ll take you to your quarters. But I’m not leaving you alone until I’m sure you’re okay. Here, I’ve got you,” he offered immediately.</p><p>He put his arm around her, gripping her torso, just below her shoulder. As they started to move, she felt faint, and, wanting to steady herself, instinctively reached out put her arm around his waist. She felt him tense up and she did the same, freezing in place.</p><p>“Garrus, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” she apologized. Turian waists were very sensitive and that was a line she didn’t want to cross. She let go as soon as she could, but he reached out to her hand to put it back, his hand over hers.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. Let’s just get you to your quarters without you falling over,” and his voice was low, and soothing and just what she needed. She relaxed and let him lead her back, glad for the support, because she was now feeling lightheaded as well. She wasn’t sure she could have made it back without him. He sat her down gently on the bed and then took the seat at her desk, evidently content to wait for her to explain.</p><p>“Do you need anything? Can I get you some water or something?” he asked her, looking and sounding worried, which was amplified by his sub-vocals resonating distress.</p><p>“No, I don’t think I can quite manage to keep anything down, so I’d better not risk it. It’s silly really, I’m sure I’ll be fine in no time, no need for you to worry. Really, I’ll be fine.”</p><p>The look on his face clearly said that whatever she was selling, he wasn’t buying it.</p><p>“You may want to try that again, Alyssa, you were obviously sick in the bathroom, and you’re not feeling well now. You don’t want to see doctor Chakwas, and you’re trying to convince me to leave you alone,” he told her sternly. Well, he was a detective, she really should know better than to try and put one over on him. </p><p>“I’m trying to be your friend here, you can talk to me. I have it on good authority that I’m an excellent friend in fact, so no reason to push me away,” a small smirk now appearing on his face as he tried to coax her into telling him what was going on.</p><p>“Okay, okay, give me a minute,” Alyssa replied, because how could she resist when he used her own words against her. She ran her fingers through her hair, rubbed her face and sighed.</p><p>“I was taking a nap, and I had a bad dream, I couldn’t shake it when I woke up and then I got sick, ran to the bathroom. There’s nothing physically wrong with me. I told you, it’s silly. I’ll be fine,” she tried to downplay the whole thing.</p><p>“Wanna tell me about your dream? It must have been bad to rattle you like that.” His voice was so calm and patient. There was no judgment there, only concern. Finally, she sighed and nodded.</p><p>“I, eh, I dreamed about, well, about the shimmer. How it would take me away from here. But instead of taking me back home – well, it – I, I ended up in a black void. No sounds, no body, only black. Nothingness. Everywhere. It felt so real. Like I was lost and would never be found. I woke up and I couldn’t really calm down. I tried breathing like you taught me, but my panic wouldn’t go away and then I felt sick, hurried to the bathroom. Sorry if I scared you.” It came out in a rush as it often did when she felt vulnerable. </p><p>“You’re scared you’re going to go away and end up nowhere. No wonder you were sick,” he said with such understanding and compassion that she teared up immediately. </p><p>He came over to her and knelt down, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug without hesitation. He held her tight, and she hugged him back, remembering to avoid his waist this time. She felt safe in his arms, and a sob escaped her, and before she knew it, before she could stop it, tears were rolling down her face. Garrus was making soft, cooing noises, and a hum reverberated in his chest. One of his hands moved up to stroke her hair and a small part of her marveled at how he seemed to know instinctively how to soothe her. He held her just like that, until she moved to release him.</p><p>“Thanks, Garrus, I didn’t even realize I needed a hug. Or a cry, apparently,” she said, giving him a small smile and squeezing his hand affectionately.</p><p>“Oh no, I cried all over your shirt, I’m sorry,” she exclaimed, putting her hands over her mouth.</p><p>“Would you stop apologizing already, it’s fine. I’m not worried about the shirt. I’m worried about you,” he responded, shaking his head.</p><p>“Have you been having nightmares a lot?”</p><p>“No, not really, but I have been having some trouble sleeping. It’s why I took a nap in the first place, I didn’t get any sleep last night,” she told him honestly, comfortable enough with him to let her guard down.</p><p>“Is that why you went to see doctor Chakwas?” he asked.</p><p>“No, after yesterday, she wanted a full workup on me, see if I’m healthy. And do a psych eval, check if I’m not crazy. I don’t think I’m crazy, but I’m also not sure there’s a treatment for having an existential crisis,” she replied, concern creeping into her voice.</p><p>He looked at her sternly and said: “Your fear isn’t unreasonable, Alyssa. You were plucked out of your own home, a place where you feel safe, and transported into the future to a space station you thought of as fictional. You traveled through time and space, and have no idea how. That’s a massive loss of control, enough to shake anyone.” He grasped her hands, held them in his, and made eye contact with her again. When he saw she was listening to him, he continued.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about this. What if what happened to you wasn’t random? What if you are exactly where you’re meant to be? What are the odds of this happening to someone who just happens to have information that can help with what is coming?”</p><p>Her eyes grew wide and she was hanging on his every word.</p><p>“I mean, think about it, Alyssa. You just happen to show up in the one place and time that puts you exactly where you need to be to help stop the Reapers. That is way too unlikely, the odds of that happening accidentally are astronomical. I think whatever happened to you, happened for a reason. And I also think that because of that, it’s very unlikely you’ll end up in a black void somewhere. Your being here isn’t random. You belong here, on the Normandy, helping Shepard save the galaxy.”</p><p>Tears were rolling down her face again, and this time it was Alyssa who reached out for a hug. Dropping to the floor, both of them on their knees, she hugged him fiercely and didn’t let go. The overwhelming fear that had gripped her after her dream was leaving her, and the perspective Garrus had given her took hold instead. It felt right, and the feeling settled inside her soul. She was here to help, it wasn’t random chance, and it wouldn’t be random chance that took her away either.</p><p>“Thank you,” was all she could manage, and it was so woefully inadequate she almost laughed. Her voice sounded small, soft and cracked, but she knew he heard her, and the sentiment behind it.</p><p>“Told you I’m an excellent friend,” he muttered in her ear and it was exactly the right thing to say.</p><p>She gave him a big smile, pulling away from the hug and then kissed him softly on the cheek. He looked surprised, but a pleased hum escaped him.</p><p>“You really are,” she confirmed warmly.</p><p>Both of them seemed to realize that being on the floor on their knees was becoming increasingly uncomfortable, so they moved to stand up, Garrus helping Alyssa manage.</p><p>“Sure you’ll be okay?” he asked, his hand still holding hers.</p><p>“I am okay. Thank you,” she assured him, giving it a squeeze.</p><p>“Join me for dinner?” he asked with a smile.</p><p>“It’s a date,” she said and they both chuckled. After a final, quick hug, Garrus left and she was alone in her quarters again, feeling much lighter and much better than she’d felt since her sudden arrival.</p><p>***</p><p>She was definitely feeling better as she made her way to the mess hall for dinner. As it turned out, Garrus wasn’t the only one waiting for her, Shepard was as well. The three of them sat together after getting their food, the other crew members finding different tables and leaving them alone.</p><p>“So Garrus, how are you getting on so far?” Shepard asked, focusing on the man sitting opposite him, with Alyssa between them at the head of their little table.</p><p>“I’m good, Shepard, there are enough Turian elements on this ship to make it feel somewhat familiar. I appreciate the Turian style bed and the food is excellent. So far, the crew have been gracious and I’m making myself useful tinkering with the Mako,” Garrus replied.</p><p>“Glad to hear it. I didn’t realize we were that well stocked on dextro food. Good to know the Alliance has that covered,” Shepard remarked. Garrus shot Alyssa a look, and she shook her head. Shepard didn’t know, she hadn’t thought to tell him. Ever perceptive, Shepard caught their exchange and started laughing.</p><p>“Don’t tell me, of course it was you, Red, I should have guessed after Joker’s chair,” he said, shaking his head with a fond smile. “If you keep spoiling my crew, it will impact mission readiness,” he said, trying to put on his ‘commander’ voice, but it was clear to all three of them that he didn’t mean it.</p><p>“Yes, Commander, if you prefer your crew banged up, starving and miserable, I’m sure that won’t impact mission readiness at all,” she shot back, barely hiding a snort. Garrus couldn’t keep it together at all, and was laughing out loud, and with that, Shepard also couldn’t keep a straight face.</p><p>When they composed themselves again, Shepard turned to Alyssa to ask her how she was doing.</p><p>Not looking at Garrus, she said: “I’m fine. I saw Doctor Chakwas this morning and she’s started the tests she wants to perform. I’ll know the first results tomorrow. And Tali has offered to bring me up to speed to this century’s tech, so I’m hoping to spend some time with her soon and get caught up. It’s been good, thanks, boss.”</p><p>Garrus and Shepard shared a look at her answer, and her stomach dropped. Shit, had Garrus told Shepard what had happened this afternoon? She thought, panic rising. Both of them turned to her and wore identical frowns.</p><p>“So, we’re not mentioning the fact that you were so scared you got sick?” Shepard asked, and there was no joking note in his voice now.</p><p>“You ratted me out?” she asked Garrus more sharply than she had meant to. She hadn’t told him to keep it a secret, but she’d rather hoped he would have. He winced at her accusation and looked a little guilty. She immediately regretted lashing out at him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Alyssa, I was worried, and didn’t know what to do. It was important enough that I wanted Commander Shepard’s opinion on it. He is the ship’s captain, he needs to know if someone on his crew is struggling,” he responded, and he looked so contrite and concerned, she couldn’t stay mad at him. She’d freaked him out. And he didn’t know Humans that well. Of course he would go to Shepard. Who else would he ask? The thoughts tumbled through her, slotting into place, the rationale fitting the man she knew him to be.</p><p>“No, I’m sorry, Garrus, I shouldn’t have snapped. I’m not mad, I promise. I didn’t think about what seeing me like that would be like for you. I was a bit out of it,” she said, reaching for his hand. Their hands clasped together, fingers intertwining as if there wasn’t a mismatch between his three and her five.</p><p>“Seems like all I do is apologize to you, big guy,” she said, giving him a small smile.</p><p>“Yeah, well, you can stop any time you like, you know. What with us being friends and all,” Garrus replied and his smile was soft, his sub-vocals humming contentedly.</p><p>Shepard cleared his throat, and Alyssa was embarrassed to realize that she’d almost forgotten he was there.</p><p>“Right, sorry, Shepard. I was scared, but Garrus talked me down, gave me some much needed perspective. I’ll be okay, I promise. I feel a lot better already,” and automatically she reached out to grip his hand too.</p><p>“If something like that happens again, call one of us so we can help. Don’t try to handle it alone, Red. You’ve got us, lean on us when you need it,” Shepard told her, and Garrus nodded in agreement.</p><p>It seemed they had been talking about this, about her, and they were both firmly putting themselves in her camp. Both of them still holding her hand and looking at her intently, she was overcome with a feeling of belonging, of home. While she’d been focused on taking care of Shepard and the crew, Garrus and Shepard had apparently agreed to take care of her. It was a heartwarming feeling and she felt grounded, and safe. A tentative promise that the three of them were in this together.</p><p>“Thank you, both. I mean it. You’re going to make me cry again,” she scolded without any heat and they broke apart, hands returning to their food as Shepard tried to hide a smile.</p><p>“Don’t cry, the crew will think I’m being mean to the pretty redhead,” Shepard quipped and with that, the mood lightened and they relaxed.</p><p>“I want to talk shop a little bit, if you don’t mind,” Shepard changed the topic smoothly.</p><p>“I want the both of you to come see me tomorrow morning. We’ll go over the plan to get doctor T’Soni,” Shepard said, reminding them of why they were en route to Therum.</p><p>“Sure thing, Commander,” Garrus replied. Alyssa was pleased that Shepard had decided to include Garrus. He had a sound tactical mind and it would help Shepard if he could bounce ideas off him. </p><p>Having made arrangements for the next day, Shepard moved to get back to work. “I should go,” Shepard said, before standing up and leaving their table. That just left Alyssa and Garrus.</p><p>“I think I’m going to go to bed early. I need to catch up on some sleep,” Alyssa said.</p><p>“You know, Turians don’t need as much sleep as Humans do, so if you have trouble sleeping, call me, and I’ll come keep you company,” he offered with an easy smile.</p><p>“You want to come keep me company in bed, big guy?” she joked and watched as a bright flush started in his neck. Garrus’ mandibles were clicking nervously and he seemed to be struggling for a response.</p><p>“Spirits, not like that, Alyssa, I just meant – well, you know what I meant. I’m beginning to think Decian was right when he called you a troublemaker,” he huffed at her, nerves still radiating off him.</p><p>“I’m kidding, Garrus. Thank you for the kind offer, I’ll keep it in mind. I wasn’t lying when I said I felt much better. I think I’ll be able to sleep tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow. And Garrus, thanks again for today, I can’t tell you how much you helped me.”</p><p>They stood and Alyssa reached out for a hug, and was warmly enveloped in Garrus’ arms. She gave him a peck on the cheek before leaving and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. She was hugging and kissing Garrus Vakarian. She couldn’t have imagined that a week ago.</p><p>Returning to her quarters, she made arrangements to meet with Tali the next evening, and then decided to call it a day. She had no trouble falling asleep. And the best part, no bad dreams to haunt her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Mom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa's friends help her on a difficult day. Work continues with Doctor Chakwas and Joker is inspired by ages past. A few questions on Krogan anatomy are answered. Tali helps Alyssa come to grips with the world around her in her first tech lession.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I couldn't resist. Krogan tails are just too cute and I'm so glad Alyssa thinks so too.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So what you’re saying is basically the whole planet is swarming with Geth? That sounds great,” Garrus said sarcastically, listening to Alyssa’s explanation of the situation on Therum, where Liara T’Soni, the daughter of Matriarch Benezia, who was in league with Saren, was holed up, digging around in Prothean ruins. They were in Shepard's office, sitting together to discuss their next mission.</p><p>They needed Liara, and they needed to get to her before Saren did. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed between missions in game, but she did know that getting Liara was a priority. Liara had locked herself into a Prothean protective shield and leaving her there for too long would drive her mad. She would disassociate from reality, unable to believe that the Normandy's rescue team was real.</p><p>“Yeah, I know it sounds bad, you’ll have to be very careful, stay in the Mako as much as you can until you get to the facility. There’s an ambush waiting for you, they’ll have a Geth Armature which could kill all of you easily,” Alyssa explained. </p><p>“There are also these things called Hoppers, that cling to walls and ceilings and drop down on you. You’ll need tech skills and biotics to fight through all of them,” she continued, trying to supply Shepard and Garrus with as much info as she could think of so they could plan their assault.</p><p>“Sounds like we’re in for one hell of a fight, Alyssa,” Shepard commented wryly and she could only nod at that. The planet itself was formidable enough, with wild flowing lava and narrow paths through rocky terrain, let alone the heavy fortifications that the Geth had brought with them to the planet's surface.</p><p>“And that will only get you inside the ruin. There’s more waiting for you there, including a big Krogan battlemaster. I imagine Wrex will have some ideas on how to bring him down,” she said.</p><p>“Not everyone’s going to fit into the Mako, so we’ll need to choose well,” Garrus supplied. “And just so we’re clear, I’m not putting anyone in my lap for the whole way there,” Garrus added with a grin.</p><p>Alyssa laughed at that, before replying: “Oh, I don’t know Garrus, I think Kaiden might actually enjoy it,” and it was definitely worth the look on his face. Shepard, however, didn’t respond at all, absorbed in trying to work out the tactical plan. Looking at Alyssa when he saw Shepard was deep in thought, he gave her a small nod. Garrus had every intention of being on the ground team, watching his back just as he’d promised her.</p><p>“I think we’ll need Tali and Wrex, at least. Tali can hack the Geth and Wrex can use his biotics on them. Tali and I can use overload on them too, and I’ll provide cover fire, make sure we’re not flanked,” Garrus offered.</p><p>Shepard looked at him, thinking it over, and then nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, we can’t fit more people into the Mako anyway, so that’s a good plan,” Shepard agreed and Alyssa let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.</p><p>She was glad that there would be more people coming on the mission with Shepard, knowing it would be dangerous. There were more details to be hashed out, and they spent the better part of the morning going over the battle plans. When they finally agreed, and Alyssa was sure she hadn’t forgotten anything important, the meeting ended. It had been productive, the atmosphere good. Garrus possessed excellent tactical insight and worked well with Shepard, the three of them falling into a sort of shorthand as the meeting continued, each picking out critical elements and slotting them into the right spot.</p><p>Shepard had been right to suggest adding Garrus, not only for his experience and instincts, but also because it was important to bounce ideas off each other. Garrus would challenge Shepard if he didn’t agree or understand something, and that would force Shepard to explain. The explanation either cemented the decision or caused him to rethink his assumptions, which led to them coming up with a better alternative together. They had included her in the discussion, all three of them working together and agreeing with the final plan. Again, she experienced a feeling of belonging, and, like with the Eden Prime mission, of feeling useful, like her contribution mattered. It was a good feeling, anchoring her to her new present, her new reality.</p><p>It made Alyssa remember similar meetings back on Earth. Tactical planning had been part of her job, offering intel assessments that allowed the team to plan ops. She thought back to her first such session. She had worked on the intel for weeks, filtering truth from lie, assessing which assumptions were riskier than others. She had presented her information and then taken a seat in the back, thinking she wouldn’t be called upon again.</p><p>But the team leader in charge of executing the operation had questioned the accuracy of her information and all eyes had turned to her. She had been a little nervous, but she'd also been upset. She was sure the information was accurate, and stood by her recommendations. She'd moved to the front of the room, commanding their attention once more, and with an ice-cool professional mask and an air of infinite polite patience that she didn’t actually possess, had unraveled each of his remarks and had effectively countered every point he'd made. In the end, they had accepted her recommendations and the op had run smoothly, with the objectives completed successfully and without casualties. The most surprising part had come later, however, when the team leader had approached her to thank her for keeping his people safe. He also began requesting her help specifically on intelligence gathering, which had been the biggest compliment of all.</p><p>The memory made her smile. She remembered dinner at her parents’ house that weekend, and her telling them the story, leaving out key details of course. Her mother had beamed at her and told her how proud she was of her for standing up for herself in a room full of more experienced people. That she should never let them intimidate her. That she was smart and meticulous and should trust herself. Her parents had both hugged her and told her again how proud they were of her when she had left that evening. Clearly seeing her parents’ faces in her mind’s eye, almost feeling their physical presence, grounded her and warmed her up from the inside. Her loss had faded to where the memories were welcome balms instead of painful open wounds. Once again, she cursed thinking of her missing necklace. It would have been so nice to have a physical reminder of home, of her family.</p><p>She realized with a start that today was her mother’s birthday. She’d been so wrapped up that she’d forgotten, which wasn’t surprising, all things considered. She felt the distinct pull of guilt. She wouldn’t be able to go to her grave today, she couldn’t leave her flowers or talk to her, like she’d done for every birthday or holiday in the last four years. It had become a comforting ritual, something to keep her connected to a sense of family, a tether to her past. Briefly, she felt like she was betraying her mother by not being there. She had always felt their love most strongly when she visited their graves, and now that she couldn’t, she felt the hole it left inside her. Sadness and grief threatened to wash over her then, a keen reminder of what she had lost and couldn’t regain because of where she was now.</p><p>At the same time, she was determined not to spend the day wallowing in grief, feeling sorry for herself. Yesterday had been quite bad enough. She needed to find a new ritual, or something she could do to honor her mother today. Her mother had been an adventurous woman, and Alyssa couldn’t help but think that she would have found a way to find a place for herself here and make the most of it. And so, mind made up, she was determined to look on the bright side and choose excitement, not loss. She felt better and came up with a plan on how to do just that. But first, she set off to see Doctor Chakwas, hoping to get her test results and get started on what she needed to do to prove to the doc that she wasn’t a liability to the Normandy’s mission.</p><p>***</p><p>Doctor Chakwas seemed to have been waiting for her, judging by the patient smile and complete lack of surprise when she entered the med bay.</p><p>“Good, you’re here, come in,” she beckoned, giving her a warm smile.</p><p>“Hey Doc, how are you?” Alyssa responded with an ease she wasn’t fully feeling. She suddenly felt nervous about her test results. What if there was something wrong with her, or the doctor had found something strange and incurable she hadn’t even realized she had?</p><p>“You are fine, Alyssa, nothing to worry about. Your blood work markers are all within the normal range, you don’t seem to have any underlying illnesses, so you are physically healthy and in good shape. That allows us to get started on the vaccine regimen to get you caught up and properly protected. Right arm, please,” she told her and Alyssa was moving to obey her instructions without conscious thought, responding to the authority in the Doctor's voice.</p><p>Alyssa was relieved to hear she was fine and she wasn’t scared of needles, so the shots were fine. The syringe looked different and she was fascinated by the little device. It hadn’t hurt at all, and doctor Chakwas took the time to explain how it worked when she caught Alyssa’s interest.</p><p>She’d always been inquisitive, even as a child, and her parents had encouraged her curiosity, taking her on endless trips to local forests, museums and libraries to sate her thirst for knowledge. Part of the excitement she felt at being here now was because she could learn new things and immerse herself in a completely new environment. Sure it was scary sometimes, but she focused on the good things instead.</p><p>After receiving her shots, the doctor wanted to get started on her psychological evaluation. Alyssa made herself comfortable on the bed and took a deep breath to center herself.</p><p>Doctor Chakwas started by going through a detailed questionnaire, asking her about specific symptoms. Had she ever had hallucinations, did she hear voices in her head, that sort of thing. She answered honestly and when they were done, the doc gave her a datapad and had her react to specific images and phrases, and she ran through that exercise as well. It seemed like a more refined version of word association, which she was comfortable with. There were several more tests, each blending in with the last as she went through them. Some things she didn’t know because they were outside her frame of reference and she’d had to ask Chakwas to explain them.</p><p>Once the tests were apparently completed, with Alyssa not knowing if she’d passed or failed, or if that was even the purpose of those tests, the doc told her that the last part would be the two of them just talking.</p><p>“I can do that, Doc, fire away, I’ll tell you everything,” she said and she meant it. She wanted there to be no doubt that she was safe to have on board. Too many people depended on the information in her head for her to be anything other than safe to have around.</p><p>Doctor Chakwas started by asking her about her parents, her childhood and what life was like growing up. Alyssa recognized it for what it was, a slow introduction meant to put her at ease before the tough questions started. They then discussed her parent’s car accident, how she dealt with the aftermath, what coping mechanisms she used. And they discussed her job, how she was recruited, what she did on a daily basis and how she compartmentalized her work life from her personal life. And how she approached her personal life, her connections to friends back home before pivoting to how she felt about what happened to her and how she was dealing with being here now.</p><p>She answered each topic honestly, not afraid to show the other woman how some things affected her. She hesitated at the last question though, not comfortable sharing her deepest fears. She settled instead for explaining that both Shepard and Garrus had offered to help her if she was struggling and that she’d needed Garrus’ help the day before. Doctor Chakwas nodded, pleased at her answer and thankfully not prying any further.</p><p>“Good, you need to let people in, build a safety net. It will help you adjust and make you feel better. In case you have trouble sleeping,” and she gave Alyssa a shrewd look at that, “please let me know. I have options available that will allow you to sleep without dreaming. It’s vital on a ship full of soldiers, as you can imagine,” she told her.</p><p>Alyssa nodded. She hoped it wouldn’t be necessary, but was glad for the offer all the same.</p><p>“You seem to be coping well, Alyssa, and I’ll review the tests we did today, but my preliminary assessment is that you are healthy and stable. Please come back tomorrow for the full results and another round of shots.” Alyssa sighed in relief at being given that conditional letter of approval.</p><p>“Thanks for taking care of me Doc, I appreciate it,” Alyssa said, and she meant it. The doctor was kind, had a calming bedside manner and exhibited great professionalism.</p><p>“You’re quite welcome, my dear. Now get out of here before I make you help re-organize the lab next door. Commander Shepard has informed me that I will be sharing that space shortly,” she said, giving Alyssa another one of her calculating looks.</p><p>Alyssa smiled and said: “Don’t worry Doc, you’re going to like her, and she’s nice and quiet.”</p><p>Doctor Chakwas shook her head as Alyssa left the med bay.</p><p>***</p><p>She passed by the mess hall, picking up food for herself, and on a whim picked up a plate for Joker as well, deciding to spend some time with him in the cockpit. As she had expected, he was in his new chair, concentrating on the task at hand.</p><p>“I come bearing food,” Alyssa announced herself as she entered the cockpit.</p><p>“You are my favorite person on this ship,” he smiled back at her before reaching out for his plate.</p><p>“Mind if I hang out here for a while?” she asked him, nodding at the chair next to him.</p><p>“Sure, I’d like some company,” he agreed easily as he started in on the food.</p><p>Gratefully, she sank into the chair and opened her own lunch.</p><p>“So, it looks like I’m healthy, and by Chakwas’ judgment, at least moderately sane,” she informed him.</p><p>“Thank god for that, I was worried your ancient bones were carrying around some deadly virus that would eat the flesh off our faces once we were underway,” he quipped and she laughed out loud at that.</p><p>“My bones are young, healthy and sprightly, thank you very much, and if you don’t want yours to break, you’ll stop calling me ancient,” she said, and she tried to give him a stern glare, but was too amused to fool him.</p><p>“I’m just going to start calling you Alyssasaurus,” he deadpanned, making them both chuckle. Encouraged by her reaction, Joker continued in the same vein, comparing her to a well preserved zombie before taking a theatrical sniff and asking her if he was the only one that smelled embalming fluid.</p><p>“Yuk it up, funny man, payback’s going to be a bitch, you know,” she warned him, her sides splitting with laughter. After that, they spent some more time coming up with Shepard’s next porn present and Joker took the time to explain a bit more about the extranet in general and how she could find some of the things she might want to look up.</p><p>Finally, lunch long since finished, she turned in her chair to face Joker fully before saying what she’d been thinking about for the last few days.</p><p>“Joker, thanks for believing me without question. It means a lot. When Shepard told me what you said, well, it’s very humbling to have a friend like you. Especially for a zombiesaurus.”</p><p>He turned to look at her then, saw the earnest expression on her face, and it made his face split into a huge smile.</p><p>“Sure thing, Alyssa, don’t worry about it. I can’t wait to call my mom and tell her I’m friends with an honest-to-goodness mummy,” he quipped and then they were laughing again.</p><p>This time it was Kaiden who found them like this. Joker was still trying to come up with nicknames inspired by ages past, and was in the middle of making a case for Cleopatra over Mata Hari when they heard booted footsteps and then the clear, if amused, scraping of a throat. They both turned around at the same time, huge smiles on their faces at being caught again making too much noise before both replying at the same time.</p><p>“Yes, Lieutenant?” and promptly cracking up.</p><p>“What are you two up to?” he asked and the exasperation in his voice was so funny to both of them that it took them a hot minute to respond.</p><p>Alyssa managed a croaked ‘I can’t really explain it myself’, before Joker added in a tone he clearly hoped was serious: “Lieutenant, please allow me to woo my very own Cleopatra privately, I don’t need your big muscles and pouty lips cramping my style.”</p><p>Alyssa was now doubled over in her seat, unable to breathe and with tears streaming down her face, while Joker had given himself a coughing fit and was practically choking beside her.</p><p>Kaiden seemed to realize they were too far gone, and, shaking his head, muttered “never mind, just keep it down before Shepard shuts you down,” before turning and leaving.</p><p>“He has such a stick up his butt,” Joker commented, shaking his head at the retreating Kaiden.</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know, he accepted me almost as easily as you did, you know. I think he’s a nice guy, but he definitely takes himself too seriously,” she said.</p><p>“So, should we add him to the Christmas porn list?” Joker asked with a mischievous look on his face.</p><p>“You know, maybe we should. If you’re sure he won’t make your life difficult about it. And <i>you</i> are sending it, I’m absolutely not getting involved with sending him porn,” and they were both laughing at the implications of that.</p><p>***</p><p>Spending time with Joker made her feel better the way only time spent being silly with friends could. She made her way to her quarters with renewed energy. Deciding to make use of the momentum she felt, she changed into her workout gear and went down to the exercise area. As it was mid-shift, it was nice and quiet, everyone else seemingly occupied. She ran through her whole exercise program, running, stretching and working with the weights until her arms and legs were sore and her stomach muscles started protesting their rough treatment. Satisfied at a job well done, she went to the crew showers to clean up and change.</p><p>As she walked in, she was again struck by the notion that on a ship the size of the Normandy, you were never alone for long. Wrex was in the shower farthest away from the door when she entered, his back to her.</p><p>“Hi Wrex, I wanna shower, unless you want me to leave you in peace?” she called out to him, determined not to be weird.</p><p>“I’ve got nothing to hide, Princess, feel free to join me,” he called back, turning to look at her. She hadn’t been counting on a naked Krogan in the shower. Wrex didn’t seem to be the least bit shy though, so she indulged her curiosity and looked him over. He seemed to be all plates, sort of like what she knew about Turians. Probably because both of their planets emitted high levels of radiation, she thought.</p><p>“You’re the first Human to actually have the quad to come in when they see me here, Alyssa. I’ve had at least four crew members scream and run,” and he chuckled at that.</p><p>“You know Humans have only two, right, not four,” she told him, amused as she turned to undress and leave her clothes somewhere they wouldn't get wet.</p><p>At his confused “huh”, she clarified. “Balls, Wrex, Humans have only two, not four like you.”</p><p>“Good to know I’m at least twice as much man as anyone on this ship,” he guffawed, making her laugh as well and then turned back around to continue his shower. Alyssa gave a small squeak as she caught sight of his tail jutting out. It was one of the cutest things she’d ever seen. She didn’t think it would be a good idea to voice that thought out loud though.</p><p>“What?” Wrex asked her suspiciously.</p><p>“Nothing, I just almost slipped on the wet floor,” she rescued herself.</p><p>“Humans are clumsy and soft, it’s a miracle you made it to space,” he told her matter-of-factly. His sober assessment amused her.</p><p>“You’re not wrong,” she easily agreed. Compared to Krogan, Humans were much less sturdy on an individual basis. Their strength came from ingenuity, working together and adaptability.</p><p>Once she was undressed, she moved to the shower she’d selected and noticed Wrex glancing at her. Turning to him fully, she said: “First naked Human, Wrex? Go ahead, take a look, I don’t mind.”</p><p>He gave her a surprised look and when she nodded to reinforce that she’d meant it, he took his time looking at her.</p><p>“Want me to turn around so you can check out the back too?” When he nodded, she did. Turning back, she found him shaking his head, as if he was annoyed.</p><p>“What is it? Is it that bad?” she quipped. She knew she was attractive for a Human, but could totally understand Krogan looking for different features, so she wasn’t going to be offended with whatever would come out of Wrex’ mouth.</p><p>“No protective plating, just skin, it’s so easy to kill you. Ridiculous species,” he told her and she laughed at his assessment.</p><p>“Yep, that’s us. Squishy, soft and fragile. Glad you’re on board to protect us. All that plating and the redundant organs must be nice. I’ll just have to make do with this paltry thing,” she said, gesturing at her body.</p><p>Wrex smiled at her reply. “I like you, Alyssa, you’re not scared of me and you’re funny. Thanks,” he said before shutting of his shower.</p><p>“No problem Wrex. I’m just happy you’re here,” she said, before turning around and starting in on her shower. By the time she was done, he was gone.</p><p>***</p><p>When she got back to her quarters, she sent a note to Shepard, Garrus and Joker, asking them to join her in her quarters before dinner. They all accepted readily, which made her smile.</p><p>They trickled in, Shepard first, followed by Garrus. She pulled out the extra chairs she’d pilfered from the mess hall and invited them to sit down. Joker came in last, and greeted her with a warm: “Hey, Cleo, thanks for the invite, what are we doing?” which made her laugh and give him a hug and caused the two other men to look at them in surprise at the new nickname.</p><p>“It’s short for Cleopatra, you know, since Alyssa’s practically a fossil,” he said, smirking as he looked at them, clearly proud of his joke. Shepard got it and snorted, but of course to Garrus it still wasn’t clear and his confusion was written across his face.</p><p>“Cleopatra is an ancient Earth queen, famous in Earth’s history as a fierce leader and revered for her beauty,” Shepard explained.</p><p>“Ah, well, now it makes sense,” Garrus replied smoothly and the easy compliment caused Alyssa to blush slightly.</p><p>“Yes, yes, that’s not why I asked you here,” she changed the subject. When they were all seated, she explained.</p><p>“Today’s my mother’s birthday,” she said. Shepard looked at her, likely remembering their conversation about her parents having passed away. The other two nodded, allowing her to continue.</p><p>“My parents are both gone, it happened a few years before I got here, but for their birthdays and holidays like Christmas, I usually visit their graves for a bit and it makes me feel better. Closer to them, you know,” she explained.</p><p>All three of them focused on her, sympathy clear from their looks. Garrus was sitting closest to her and he reached out to grab her hand. She took it gratefully, borrowing some of the strength he was offering.</p><p>“I realized what day it was this morning, and at first it made me sad, but then I remembered all the happy things, like how adventurous my mom was and how she always taught me to look for the good in any situation, so I decided to follow her advice today.”</p><p>At this, she stood up, and grabbed two bottles and four glasses that she’d also taken from the mess hall. She passed them around, making sure Garrus had the right bottle and pouring them all a drink.</p><p>“You told me that if I was struggling, I should ask for help from my friends. You’re my friends and I’d like to celebrate the memory of my mother with you, if you don’t mind. So, please raise your glasses to my wonderful, gone-too-soon mom, who taught me to stick up for myself, explore the world and have fun doing it. She was beautiful, funny and kind and I’m proud to be her daughter. To Elisabeth Adams,” she declared, raising her glass with tears in her eyes. The others raised their glasses and toasted her mom with her.</p><p>“Would you tell us about her? Some of the stories about your family? I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it’s a good way to remember her, I think,” Garrus asked her as she refilled everyone’s glasses.</p><p>“I’d like that. Would you do the same, sharing stories of your moms? Or would that be weird?” she asked them in turn. All three of them nodded in agreement and then they took turns, Alyssa going first, each telling stories about their mothers and about what they had gotten up to as children.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Joker had been a troublemaker as a kid, with him explaining that people would never expect it of him due to his legs, but his mom could see right through him and indulged him as long as he wasn’t malicious or hurting anyone. Taking his parent’s car at age 12 had gotten him into trouble however, the cops had stopped him as he was flying down the highway. It was only his dad’s influence and his absolutely pathetic appearance at his hearing that had stopped him from getting in trouble with the law. He was grinning proudly throughout the telling, clearly not having learned his lesson at all.</p><p>“So the Normandy wasn’t the first thing you took for a joyride,” Shepard exclaimed, laughing loudly.</p><p>“Nope,” Joker replied. “And it was totally fine both times. Not exactly an incentive to stop doing it,” he grinned.</p><p>They spent the time until dinner drinking and telling stories before all leaving for the mess hall together, slightly drunk, and a little loud, all of them smiling and laughing.</p><p>***</p><p>The whole gang came out for dinner, finding four more-than-slightly inebriated people laughing at the big dinner table in the mess hall. Tali and Wrex caught on soon enough that the after dinner drinks had apparently started well before dinner and they were sharing knowing looks and smiles across the table. Ashley and Kaiden dropped into their seats next, and Ashley’s eyebrows kept going higher as she was glancing back and forth between Shepard, Garrus, Alyssa and Joker, wondering what was going on and why they were being so boisterous. Tali mimicked the intergalactic sign for drinking, tilting her head back for emphasis and breaking into a laugh. Ashley’s eyes went big and she shook her head. She leaned over to whisper to Kaiden and then he looked over at the four of them and smirked.</p><p>“Have you been having fun without us?” Kaiden asked Shepard.</p><p>Shepard didn’t miss a beat and responded: “Yep, Red broke out the good stuff and we’ve been celebrating life.” If anyone of their team thought it strange, they didn’t comment further.</p><p>Instead, Tali asked Alyssa if she still wanted her first tech lesson that evening like they planned. Alyssa nodded vigorously, a big smile plastered on her face.</p><p>“I’m looking forward to it. Right after dinner?” she asked, happy at the thought of spending time with Tali and learning something new.</p><p>“Okay, we can go to your quarters, it’s quieter than the mess hall,” Tali suggested.</p><p>Alyssa nodded and put more effort into finishing her meal. The others followed suit and soon enough, their plates were cleared and chairs started shifting with people dispersing around them.</p><p>Shepard stood up from their table first, telling everyone: “We’ll be approaching Therum tomorrow, so make sure you get a good night’s sleep. Especially the ground team, but I need you all prepared in case we need it. Good night.” And his little speech would have been so much more impressive if he hadn’t promptly staggered a little and hit his shin against the table, causing him to wince in pain and the others to suppress their mirth at his predicament. Alyssa especially enjoyed the slight limp as he moved away, grumbling to himself.</p><p>***</p><p>After dinner, the effects of the alcohol were wearing off, and she hooked her arm around Tali’s elbow to walk to her quarters. Having made themselves comfortable, Tali asked her what she wanted to learn first.</p><p>“Hacking,” she answered immediately and Tali started laughing hard, her whole body shaking.</p><p>“What’s so funny?” Alyssa asked a bit indignant, because she got the distinct impression she was being laughed at.</p><p>“Sorry, I should explain, it’s cruel to just laugh,” Tali said, composing herself.</p><p>“But starting with hacking is like, well, it’s like wanting to learn how to be a sniper when you’ve never held a weapon before and are a bit blind in one eye,” she explained.</p><p>“Okay, okay, you made your point,” Alyssa said, raising her hands in the universal ‘I give up’ gesture.</p><p>“So where do we start if the end goal is to learn how to hack?” she asked.</p><p>“Glad you asked, I have the perfect way to start. Give me your omni-tool.” And Tali proceeded to explain what else she could do with it besides setting an alarm, sending a message and searching on the extranet. She installed new features, or disabled existing ones, and after about an hour and a half, her omni-tool did a hell of a lot more than she thought it could.</p><p>She asked Tali about how to record classified material and where to digitally store it so it couldn’t be stolen, and of course Tali understood the risks and implications. If Alyssa were to record all the things she knew about the future, they would have to make absolutely sure it couldn’t be stolen or somehow end up in the wrong hands. Tali promised to think about it and would get back to her once she’d thought up a foolproof plan.</p><p>With that last piece covered, Tali took her leave and went back to Engineering. Alyssa was happy with all she’d learned and was looking forward to more lessons.</p><p>It had been a good day, she reflected as she was preparing to go to bed. She was still smiling and mouthing ‘Cleo’ while she fell asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Finding Doctor T'Soni</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team arrives on Therum to retrieve Liara T'Soni.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day saw Shepard, Garrus, Wrex and Tali leave to be dropped off on Therum. They’d be using the Mako to get to their objective, and Shepard needed to be careful driving, the planet consisting mainly of lava fissures interspersed with short bits of rocky terrain. They'd discussed all the particulars repeatedly and in depth until Alyssa was sure there wasn't anything else she could tell them that would help. They were as prepared as they were going to get.</p><p>Alyssa gave them all a hug when they passed her in the cargo bay, even Wrex, who shrugged out of it claiming Krogan didn’t hug, but did pat her on the back regardless. And then they were off.</p><p>“Cleo, comms room is set up for you, we’re dropping the Mako off in 5,” Joker’s voice came over the radio. Yeah, she was pretty sure ‘Cleo’ was going to stick. But she smiled, seeing it as confirmation of their friendship.</p><p>“Making my way there now, Joker, thanks,” she responded quickly, already in the elevator. She took the stairs two at a time and slipped into the comms room before anyone in the CIC would have noticed. She stood in front of the screens and the console, setting everything up and checking that the cameras and the audio were both coming through loud and clear. Once she was satisfied that everything worked, she took a step back so she had the full overview and crossed her arms, settling in to wait until the Mako touched down planetside.</p><p>She wasn’t alone in the comms room for long, however. The doors opened and Kaiden entered, stationing himself firmly next to her and staring at the screens.</p><p>“Ashley’s down in the armory in case we need anything. I’ll stay up here with you and see how they get on, if you don’t mind,” he explained before she could ask, giving her a small smile.</p><p>“I don’t mind at all, Kaiden, I’d love some company. I’m a bit antsy about this mission, if I’m honest. The one thing I can’t really predict is time, so I don’t know if the fortifications will be worse than I know about. I hope not, I know we got here fast, but there’s this brick in my stomach, worrying about all of them. It won’t go away until they’re back safe and sound, I think.”</p><p>Kaiden turned to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. It was really nice to have someone in the room with her. And Kaiden had a good head on his shoulders, so if something happened and the ground team needed help, he could assess the situation and support them, perhaps better than she could.</p><p>“Listen to me, everything you know will help them. Shepard’s a great commander and Wrex is damn near impossible to kill, Tali was born to fight Geth and Garrus is solid, cool under pressure. They can handle whatever Saren throws at them, Alyssa, don’t worry. It will be okay,” he assured her. And then he pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around him for a long moment, until she felt a bit more steady and then broke apart.</p><p>“Thanks for talking me down, I needed the pep talk,” she admitted, giving him a small smile.</p><p>“No problem, Alyssa, I keep forgetting you’re not a trained soldier. You’ve never stayed behind when soldiers were sent on missions?” he asked, genuinely curious.</p><p>“No, in my old job, analysts like me provided the intel, made recommendations, but we’d then be directed to focus on the next thing. I would get the post-mission reports, but that is totally different from watching it unfold in real time and not being able to do anything. Not to mention the fact that those are our friends down there.”</p><p>“That’s definitely the tricky part,” Kaiden agreed.</p><p>At that moment, Shepard broke in with an update over comms.</p><p>“Arrived at drop point. Proceeding as planned.” </p><p>Visibility outside of the vehicle was limited from their cams, so Kaiden and Alyssa had to rely on the information they passed down the line. She could see Garrus next to Shepard, who was driving. That meant he would be manning the cannons. That should make him happy, she thought, reminded of how much time game-Garrus spent calibrating the Thannix cannon in the SR-2. Another update from Shepard interrupted her thoughts.</p><p>“Scanners aren’t picking up Geth activity, there are no jammers either.”</p><p>Okay, that was weird, but you know, a good weird, she thought. Safe was good. She let out a breath and the knot in her stomach loosened slightly. At least they weren't running into heavier resistance than she had predicted. The comms picked up their conversations, increasingly relaxed inside the Mako as the team was clearly not in danger of being shot at as they traveled the route carefully, on the lookout for any indication of an ambush.</p><p>“Arriving at conversion point two, exiting Mako. Scanners clear,” Shepard informed them. The economical delivery of information was a clear tell that he was focused and in mission-mode. He wasn't getting complacent even though things were going better than expected.</p><p>This was the part that she’d warned them about, just before going into the mine shaft. This was where they could be overwhelmed by the Geth Armature and the hoppers.</p><p>“Scouting ahead, stay back,” they heard Garrus say over comms. Alyssa held her breath until she heard his update, following his body cam footage as he approached the mouth of the excavation site. She couldn't see any hostiles, but the angle on the camera wasn't ideal, so she couldn't be sure. On the other screens, she could see Tali, Wrex and Shepard take up defensive positions behind him, ready to provide cover fire so he could retreat if needed.</p><p>“All clear, no hostiles detected,” he finally announced. Alyssa exhaled heavily. Maybe they had just made it in time. After all, they had known where to go exactly, and maybe Saren didn’t. It wasn’t like Liara kept in touch with her mom.</p><p>“Proceeding into the mine shaft,” Shepard announced. At this point, even Alyssa was feeling relieved and knew it would be unlikely that they would encounter enemies at the dig site itself.</p><p>Following along the long shaft and then further down, they made it out of the elevator unharmed, where they were greeted by surprised scientists who were clearly wondering who they were, entering an archeological dig site heavily armed. She smiled as she heard Shepard try to explain and turned to Kaiden, who shared her relief, giving her another hug.</p><p>The team found Liara soon enough and it took only a little convincing for her to join them. Shepard’s interaction with the beacon and the clear link with the Protheans were enough to interest her.</p><p>It took a little longer to convince the rest of the research team to abandon the site because it would soon be overrun by Geth, which admittedly was a harder sell. Geth hadn't been seen in over two hundred years and the news from the Eden Prime attack had not yet reached them. In the end, they agreed on a temporary break and allowed the team to install monitoring equipment to check unauthorized access of the dig site.</p><p>Alyssa knew that the Geth would turn up sooner or later and would execute the science team if they were there. There was no doubt in her mind, that the Geth or Saren, driven by Sovereign, would stay their hand or consider anyone an innocent in this war they were waging. After all, for the Reapers, collateral damage was the name of the game. She hoped the plan would work and that the scientists would keep their word. If not, by the time the Geth came to Therum, Shepard wouldn’t be able to defend these people.</p><p>They had managed to recover Liara T’Soni without firing a single shot. It was amazing. Her good mood seemed to be reflected by everyone in the CIC and the ground team itself. When they returned on board, they all met in the comms room. Alyssa sat down next to Garrus, who gave her a little nod and a smile, which she happily returned. She was across from Liara and took a minute to study the Asari as everyone settled down in their seats, though she did notice Ashley park herself next to Kaiden. Liara was a lovely shade of lighter blue, with a smattering of darker blue freckles and even though she was 106, she looked young, which she was of course, by Asari standards. She had pencil thin eyebrows and was looking around a little wearily. Shepard introduced everyone and then motioned for them to sit down.</p><p>Shepard brought them all up to speed, explaining that while they had expected heavy Geth resistance, they had apparently beaten them to the dig site, thanks to their excellent intel. Wrex shot her a grateful look and Tali nodded in her direction. Garrus patted her on the shoulder affectionately. Shepard explained evacuating the location and installing surveillance equipment. Then he introduced their newest team member and they all turned their attention on her. </p><p>Liara explained what she had been doing. The Prothean dig site on Therum hadn’t given up its secrets yet, but it was potentially very interesting and Liara had been happily spending time sifting through different artifacts, trying to figure out what everything was. Shepard played the recording of Saren and her mother, Matriarch Benezia. Liara was surprised to hear her mother's voice on the recording, but explained that they didn’t really keep in touch and while Benezia's alliance with Saren seemed out of character for her, she had to concede that she couldn't rule it out entirely either. If anything, she looked a little confused.</p><p>Shepard took the lead explaining things to Liara, starting with the fact that Saren and Benezia were trying to find the Conduit and were under the thrall of Sovereign, the Reaper vanguard intent on bringing back the other Reapers to start this cycle’s annihilation. Liara’s eyes went wide at this.</p><p>“I’ve suspected the cyclical nature of events. There are small clues, tiny scraps of information that led me to deduce the same. How do you know this, where is your evidence?” she asked Shepard, and at the question, as one man, the whole team turned to Alyssa.</p><p>“That’s your cue, Red, I think,” Shepard told her with a wink. Alyssa nodded at him and then turned to Liara. Telling someone about her story was still a little nerve-racking, even though the responses so far had been positive, she still found it difficult to open herself up for scrutiny.</p><p>“I’ll explain everything, but the whole team doesn’t need to hear it again. Shall we go to your new quarters and I’ll tell you what I know and how, and you can ask me anything you want.” At Liara’s surprised nod, Alyssa added: “Shepard, do you want to come with?” Shepard agreed, and dismissed the team. As they got up, Tali approached Alyssa and gave her a quick hug, telling her how happy she was that they had beaten the Geth to Therum. Wrex walked up and shook her forearm.</p><p>"Good work, Princess, thanks," he said with a grin. "Of course, now I didn't get to kill anything, but you can't have everything and all things considered, it was nice not to get shot at for once." </p><p>He followed Tali and the others out of the room. Garrus grinned, having seen the exchange and in passing leaned over and whispered: "What he said." She laughed out loud and muttered a 'thanks' before Shepard beckoned for her to hurry up because he and Liara were waiting for her.</p><p>***</p><p>The three of them walked over to the med bay, and Shepard introduced Liara to doctor Chakwas. Chakwas welcomed her on board and shot Alyssa an amused grin, no doubt remembering what she had told her earlier about having a new neighbor. The lab had been cleaned up and was ready for her, and the three of them trooped in and sat down. Liara looked a little nervous, and with a fond smile, Alyssa remembered that this Liara was not yet the confident Shadow Broker she would become, but still much more the shy and socially awkward scientist.</p><p>“Liara, I’m going to tell you a strange story, one known only to the team you met in the comms room, our pilot Joker and doctor Chakwas. I’m trusting you to keep my secret. Do you understand?” Alyssa started.</p><p>Liara looked confused, but nodded, her natural curiosity apparently too much to contain.</p><p>“You have my word that I will not share what you tell me,” she replied earnestly.</p><p>Alyssa shifted her position to lean forward towards Liara, and began her tale, explaining who she was and how she had gotten there. As with the others, they showed the video of her appearance on the Citadel. Liara jumped out of her seat to look at the holo vid, asking for it to be played several times at varying speeds, before returning to her seat and looking at Alyssa in amazement.</p><p>“By the Goddess, how is this possible?” she asked her.</p><p>“You know, I’ve been asked that a lot,” Alyssa smirked, “and I still don’t have a clue. Sorry, I know how you like evidence and a proper explanation. It’s difficult for you to accept something as true without it.”</p><p>“Why would you say this about me? Because I’m a scientist?” she asked Alyssa skeptically.</p><p>“That would be a good guess, but no, I’m afraid I know you a bit better than that. Please let me explain.” At Liara's nod, she did, telling her about the video games, which she thought were fictional, and she now knew to be a reflection of the future. About telling the rest of the team, and how they questioned her and then accepted her explanations.</p><p>“That’s how we knew where you were when Saren was trying to find you. Alyssa knew where you were, so instead of wasting time investigating the other Prothean dig sites in the Artemis Tau cluster, we were able to extract you before the Geth arrived,” Shepard added to Alyssa's story.</p><p>Liara was staring at the both of them, surprise and confusion warring on her face as she listened to them.</p><p>“We were expecting heavy resistance, but I’m guessing we outpaced Saren to get to you. Thanks for that, by the way, Red, I love days where I don’t get my butt shot off,” Shepard said, turning to her and flashing her a bright smile.</p><p>Alyssa smiled back at him, and said: “Glad to help the butt, Shepard, although it is making me wonder what Saren is up to and how long it will take the Geth to get to Therum. The timing has always been the trickiest part to predict.” Liara was switching her attention between Shepard and Alyssa, likely looking for signs of deceit. She was also the one that finally addressed the elephant in the room.</p><p>“For what it’s worth, my mother and I are not close, but I cannot believe that she would aid Saren willingly,” Liara said, sadness creeping into her voice. </p><p>Alyssa shook her head, looking sad. Hearing the details about her mother would be difficult, she knew. Just like she knew it had to be done. Steeling herself because it sucked to be the bearer of bad news, she nodded at Shepard and he let her take the lead.</p><p>“No, she isn’t. Her intentions were good. She tried to dissuade Saren and hoped to turn him from his path, but they both underestimated Sovereign. He is too powerful for them to resist. She and Saren both are being controlled, or manipulated by the Reaper. He needs them to find the Conduit,” Alyssa replied, keeping her voice carefully even.</p><p>“And you know this because you have seen it play out, yes?” Liara asked, and Alyssa nodded.</p><p>“Yes, I’m afraid so. There are some things I know about you and your mother," she said, trying to be as calm and gentle as possible. Liara looked at her and then at Shepard.</p><p>"This is personal stuff. I'll just go have a chat with the Doc and wait outside," Shepard announced. Not waiting for an answer from either of them, he stood up, squeezed Alyssa's shoulder and nodded to Liara, turned and left. They waited for the door to close behind him before they returned their attention to the conversation they were having. </p><p>"Let's see if I remember this correctly. It's always been just you and Benezia, she's raised you alone, which I understand isn't unusual in Asari society," Alyssa started. Liara had narrowed her eyes, but nodded. "You don't know who your other parent is, just that's it's another Asari, which is a bit sensitive on Thessia. They prefer to mate with alien races and add to the genetic diversity of the Asari." She waited to see if Liara would react, but it seemed like she wouldn't.</p><p>"How am I doing so far?" she prodded the other woman.</p><p>"Go on, I'm interested in hearing what else you know," Liara answered quietly.</p><p>Hating herself a little for what she was about to say, she continued. "Your mother calls you ‘Little Wing’, doesn’t she?” Alyssa asked, dropping the emotional bomb right into the scientist's lap. Liara looked shocked and couldn’t help but nod. She was very honest, incapable still of lying, this younger, less jaded version of Liara. As she saw her eyes water, Alyssa felt terrible, but couldn't think of anything else that would convince the cautious Asari.</p><p>“There really is no logical reason for you to know this, Alyssa,” Liara finally said. "I know and I'm sorry. It must be very invasive to have a stranger know things about you that are so private. I promise that I won't share what I know with anyone else. Look, it’s a lot, I know, and I also know you typically need a bit of time to process, so I’ll get out of your way and let you think, and if you come up with anything you want to know, I’ll come back and we go over it until you’re happy. Sound like a plan?” Alyssa told her.</p><p>After a beat, Liara nodded.</p><p>“I am pretty tired, and this is a lot to take in. Thanks for the offer.” Alyssa nodded and she took her leave.</p><p>Shepard was waiting for them when the door opened and looked at Liara and then at Alyssa, trying to gauge the mood. Once Liara nodded with a small smile, Shepard grinned, before shaking his head in amusement.</p><p>“Yeah, Red knows about all of us, Liara. We’ve all been exactly where you are, and we’re all convinced she’s telling the truth,” Shepard said with a fond look at Alyssa.</p><p>“I need some time to process this information. It is not what I expected when you asked me to join your crew, Commander," Liara told them, giving Alyssa a small smile.</p><p>"Take all the time you need. Just know that we are glad to have you on board and let me know if you need anything," he offered easily before guiding Alyssa out of the room by her elbow.</p><p>***</p><p>“Good work in there. I can't quite believe we pulled that off without firing a single shot. I'd call it luck, except I know it's all because of you. Thanks, Red," he said seriously, making Alyssa blush. He grinned when he noticed, but instead of teasing her, he changed the subject. "So, where should we go now, Alyssa?” Shepard asked as she gave Doctor Chakwas a wave on their way through the med bay. They stopped in the mess hall, which was empty at the moment. </p><p>“Back to the Citadel, I think. We should probably also catch up with Nihlus, see how he’s getting on. Have you heard from him?”</p><p>“No, not yet, I’ll send him a message, see if he’s got our target in sight. Think it’s time to talk to the Council?” Shepard asked, folding his arms and relaxing his stance as they faced each other.</p><p>“Yes, probably, we’ve secured Liara, which was my concern timing wise and we should probably turn in the evidence on Saren and Benezia. They’ll have to revoke his Spectre status, and make him a wanted man, which should hopefully hamper his movements,” Alyssa offered.</p><p>“Alright, Citadel it is then, I’ll tell Joker,” Shepard said with a nod.</p><p>“Actually, hang on, I think we need to swing by the Sparta system first, since we’re in the neighborhood. Rear Admiral Kahoku’s missing marines were ambushed by a thresher maw there. I’m not sure about exactly what planet, but the distress signal is still active. We need to shut it down before more people get hurt and those marines need to come home so their families can bury them,” she insisted, knowing that Kahoku would be worried about the men and women under his command. She could see him in her mind's eye, arguing at the terminal on the Citadel, demanding to speak to someone who could give him details on his team.</p><p>“Sounds like a plan, it will be good to at least recover the bodies and disable the signal,” Shepard agreed easily enough. Alyssa nodded, and then grabbed his arm to stop him from walking back to the CIC. He turned and frowned when he saw her troubled look.</p><p>“Shepard? We need to talk, about what’s coming. There are things you need to know, things we need to plan for, and decisions you need to make. Before we reach the Citadel, I think,” she told him and the serious tone sobered him further. He swallowed heavily and gave her a small, sad little smile.</p><p>“I was wondering when we’d get to that. Just you and me?” he asked.</p><p>“For now, yes, I think it’s best. I’ll leave it up to you if we need to widen the circle,” Alyssa responded after she'd thought it over. Some of the stuff she needed to tell him would be hard to hear and she didn't want him to have to process it in front of an audience. </p><p>“Just you and me then, I think, at first. We’ll start tomorrow, we’ve got time,” he agreed, giving her upper arm a squeeze. He looked more confident than she felt, but she didn't want to rattle him. It would be bad enough tomorrow.</p><p>“Thanks, Shepard,” she said, veering off to her quarters with a heavy heart as he returned to the CIC to lay in the new course.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Exercise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa and Garrus get closer.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dinner was a lively affair that evening, the fact that the mission was completed without running into resistance was enough to lift everyone’s mood. Alyssa made sure to give Kaiden a private word of thanks for being in the comms room with her today and he blushed immediately.</p><p>Alyssa was thinking about getting some exercise after dinner and she chose to eat a light meal only. She could always get a protein bar or something later. Getting up, Garrus caught her eye and it stopped her in her tracks. He got up and joined her, walking her to her room.</p><p>“What is it, big guy, you okay?” she asked him as they moved through the ship.</p><p>“I was hoping you’d want to go to the gym with me,” Garrus said, giving her a hopeful smile.</p><p>“Great minds think alike, Garrus Vakarian,” she told him with an easy smile.</p><p>“Great, I’ll join you downstairs in fifteen, would that be good?” he asked, emitting a pleased little chirp.</p><p>“That works for me,” Alyssa replied with an easy smile. Time spent with Garrus was always good.</p><p>“It’s a date,” he grinned, a very satisfied look on his face as he kept their joke alive. She couldn’t help but laugh as she entered her quarters, thinking about what it might be like to go on an actual date with him.</p><p>***</p><p>As agreed, he met her for their gym date exactly on time, like a good Turian, and she smiled at the thought.</p><p>“What is it?” he asked when he saw her expression.</p><p>“Just thinking what a good Turian you are, big guy, always on time and all,” she replied, amusement all over her face.</p><p>“Hey, not all my dad's lessons were useful, but never keep a lady waiting is good advice,” he countered.</p><p>“A lady, am I? I should have worn my ball gown and glass slippers,” she said, smirking at him. She was wearing another black tank top, with the training leggings that to Alyssa’s mind were yoga pants. She’d added the hoodie to cover up her butt a little, but it seemed to be pretty standard issue exercise gear for the 22nd century. Not exactly lady-like attire though.</p><p>“Now that I would like to see,” he grinned as he looked her up and down, perhaps trying to picture her in a ball gown. “Turians have a very formal culture, you know, we have fancy balls and banquets. Formal attire mandatory. And we dance and scope out prospective partners and everything. Dullest things you’ll ever spend time on. Not that I’ll ever go to another one voluntarily, of course, but my parents forced me to go to a few of them to see if they could set me up with some high-ranking eligible daughter somewhere and make a proper Turian out of me.” He huffed in annoyance, and if she were wondering how he felt about it, the irritated grumble he let out put it to rest entirely.</p><p>“Sounds like something I’d like to see, Garrus. I bet you’d look real good in one of those fancy suits. I’d be standing in the corner getting ignored in favor of all the pretty Turian ladies and you’d be near the bar getting swamped by wanton women vying for your hand in marriage and getting dragged to the dance floor every five minutes by another eligible bachelorette,” she said, laughing at the look on his face.</p><p>“That is not funny, Alyssa, you have clearly never been swamped by wanton women before, it’s not at all what’s it cracked up to be. Especially not when your parents are watching your every move,” he countered, trying, and failing, to look miserable at the memory. In fact, if she read him right, she swore she saw some pride seep through. He'd likely been quite popular at these events, which wasn't a hard thing for Alyssa to imagine at all. She couldn't stop herself from teasing him though.</p><p>“Poor you, such a hard life, let me find a handkerchief to drown my tears of sympathy. Swap out the wanton women for drunk, handsy guys, and the ballroom for a club, and I think I know exactly how you feel though,” she said, suppressing a shudder at some of the sleazier types she'd had to fend off over the years. </p><p>“So the best tactical approach is to either avoid ballrooms and clubs completely, or to stick together and keep the riff-raff away,” Garrus pointed out, a big grin on his face now. “Not a lot of Human men want to take on a Turian, you’d be perfectly safe with me,” he winked at her.</p><p>“True, but I’m not sure I’ll be much help keeping the wanton Turian women away,” she told him, “somehow I don’t think a Human is going to impress them all that much.”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know, Alyssa, with you on my arm, they’ll be gossiping about us too much to actually bother us. It’ll be quite the scandal,” he said, as a mischievous grin graced his face and a pleased sub-vocal hum escaped him.</p><p>“I hope we’ll have time to test your theory, because it’s starting to sound like it would be fun. Especially if we can thumb our noses at some of our social betters,” Alyssa said, grinning at the idea.</p><p>“Social betters indeed,” Garrus snorted.</p><p>“And now, stop distracting me, I need to get a workout in before it’s too late,” Alyssa chided him, and they started going through their warm-up routine. Alyssa was quite limber and really stretched into her lunges, wanting to keep her muscles warm and supple. Garrus was watching her incredulously as she stretched and twisted, folded and bent.</p><p>“I can’t wrap my head around how flexible you are, I mean, by comparison Turians have almost no range of motion,” he sighed, shaking his head.</p><p>“Sure, but like I told Wrex the other day, some of that plating would be more than welcome. We’re not exactly equipped to take a lot of damage, you know,” she replied and he nodded in agreement.</p><p>“I mean, Wrex is completely covered in plates, even that cute little tail they’ve got is protected and he’s got redundant organs. That’s not fair. Now, I haven’t had the privilege of seeing a naked Turian, but I know you guys have at least some protective plating in addition to your carapace,” she told him, her hands clasped above her head in a full body stretch. He was watching her closely, his eyes floating to her waist as her tank top rose to show her belly button. Then his mandibles flicked and a confused look crossed his face.</p><p>“Wait, how do you know Krogan are completely covered in plating? I don’t even know that.”</p><p>“Wrex and I were in the showers together yesterday,” she said, shrugging her shoulders to signify it was no big deal. Garrus’ mandibles started twitching and he got the weirdest look on his face, but Alyssa couldn’t figure out what it was.</p><p>“We were both curious, I guess, or at least I was. Seems like the crew avoids showering with Wrex, scared of him, I think. He’d never seen a naked Human before and I sure as hell hadn’t seen a naked Krogan before. Anyway, we both had a good look. That’s how I know about the plates,” she told him in a casual tone.</p><p>Garrus was rubbing the back of his head, and he looked embarrassed.</p><p>“Wrex and I were both just curious, and it seems I’m the only one with the quad - his words - to shower with him,” she laughed and Garrus smiled at her.</p><p>“What’s on your mind, big guy? Worried I’ve got the hots for Wrex?” she teased him.</p><p>He cleared his throat, and Alyssa could have sworn she heard a small chirp before it cut off abruptly. </p><p>“No, not really. Surprised I suppose. From what I’ve noticed from being on this ship, Humans are a pretty modest bunch. Wrex isn’t the only one who has had people come in to the showers just for them to back out muttering hurried apologies and waiting until I was finished. I wasn’t sure if it was just that Humans are very private even among themselves, or if it was because I’m, well, not a Human,” he finally said.</p><p>She thought about it, she didn’t really know how Humans dealt with those things in this century, but she did know that among her friends on Earth, she was probably on the more easy-going, open-minded side.</p><p>“Not sure about the other Humans on the Normandy, Garrus, but personally, I’m not all that fussed about communal showers,” she told him honestly.</p><p>“Are Turians private, as a general rule?” she asked him instead.</p><p>He also took a beat to think about an answer before telling her: “Turians are used to working together in close quarters. The communal showers aren’t an issue, usually, although I’m not sure how easily that would translate to a multi-species environment like this.”</p><p>“And you, do you prefer to shower by yourself, or would it be alright if some Human just walked in and took the shower next to yours?” she asked lightly, enjoying their little cultural discussion.</p><p>“I’m not that modest, I don’t mind. Although, I do think it’s funny that the crew seem scared to be in there with me,” he told her with a smirk.</p><p>“Well, you are seven feet tall and dangerous even naked, big guy. Can’t really blame people if they don’t know the cuddly, fluffy goofball hiding underneath,” she smirked back at him.</p><p>“Cute, Alyssa, keep it up,” he shot back, clearly amused by her description of him.</p><p>“So if we ever happened to be in there at the same time, I don’t need to back out and let you be, and if I’m there first, you can totally come in and shower with me,” Alyssa said with an easy smile.</p><p>“Good to know, although you’re really try to sell it, Alyssa. If you want to shower with me, you can just say so,” and his shit eating grin was 100% cocky Garrus, the best sniper on the Citadel. She loved it. But two could play that game.</p><p>She turned to him, giving him her full attention and purposefully dropped her voice low and husky, looking up to him from behind her eyelashes to achieve the full effect she was going for.</p><p>“Garrus, you’re right. I find you irresistible, take me now,” she purred, putting her hand on his chest and just as she had hoped, he flustered adorably, a deep blush spreading almost immediately.</p><p>“Spirits, Alyssa. What are you, eh, I mean, I eh, what?” he began spluttering and she knew she had him. A broad smile spread across her face, and she was having trouble containing her mirth. When he looked up from his stuttering attempts to explain himself, he caught her look and harrumphed, realizing she’d been pulling his leg.</p><p>“Mean, Alyssa,” he chastised her. “You had me going there for a second.” But he laughed with her, the nervous mood dispelling.</p><p>“Come on, big guy, get your head in the game and let’s get a workout in or there won’t be any reason for a shower later,” she chivvied him, giving him a wink.</p><p>***</p><p>They spent the next few hours working out side-by-side, talking easily about anything and everything. He was telling her about his family and she shared stories about hers. He regaled her with stories about his C-Sec days, sharing his frustrations as well as some of the better moments. She shared her experiences about her former job, some of the assignments she’d worked on and how things worked there. The time passed pleasantly and they both worked up a sweat.</p><p>Once they were finished, had cleaned up and put all the equipment back where it belonged, Garrus gave her a long, assessing look. She decided to just jump in and not let nerves get in the way for either of them.</p><p>“Garrus, let’s take that shower, shall we? We've earned it,” she said, linking her arm with his and walking to the elevator.</p><p>“Are you sure? I know I was teasing you earlier, and if you’re uncomfortable, then I understand,” he started. She gave him such a bland look that he shook his head and just nodded.</p><p>When they got to the bathroom, they were the only ones there and they looked at each other, unsure of what the proper protocol was.</p><p>“I’ll take that one, if you don’t mind,” Alyssa said, pointing to the shower on the left.</p><p>“Erm, yes, that would be good. I’ll take this one then,” he said, nodding at a shower head more to the right. They weren’t adjacent, but they also weren’t as far apart as possible.</p><p>Alyssa turned around, finding it easier to undress with her back to him. There weren’t a lot of noises in the shower, so she could hear Garrus undress and she heard his talons click on the tiles. The atmosphere was a bit charged, not like it had been with Wrex. She really liked Garrus, and couldn’t deny that she was attracted to him. </p><p>Once she had peeled off all her workout gear, she took a quiet breath and she moved to her shower. When she turned, she found Garrus staring at her open-mouthed, frozen on the spot and completely naked. And oh my, was the sight of him enough to chase the moisture from her mouth. Instead of focusing on his body however, she noticed he wasn't talking or moving. </p><p>“Garrus, are you okay?” she asked him, feeling self-conscious under his gaze.</p><p>“Spirits, Alyssa, that’s a lot of skin,” he whispered.</p><p>“You know, that’s almost exactly what Wrex said,” she laughed, and it broke Garrus out of his frozen state, shaking him out of his reverie and making him move to his shower.</p><p>“He didn’t like it much though, not tough enough for his taste, I think, too squishy,” she continued as she stepped under the thankfully hot water. She moved her head back, letting her hair get wet before applying shampoo. She purposefully didn’t look at Garrus, wanting to give him some privacy. If he wanted to look at her, she was fine with letting him. She knew she was absolutely safe where she was, even if the rest of the Human crew on the Normandy apparently didn't feel the same way.</p><p>Once she’d completed the first rinse of her hair, she glanced a look in his direction and he immediately turned away. He’d been looking at her, she was sure of it, but it seemed to embarrass him.</p><p>“Garrus?” she called out to him and waited for him to look at her. When he did, she looked him in the eye and said: “You can look at me, it’s fine. I’m not embarrassed or offended. You’re my friend, big guy, I don’t have a problem with you checking me out.”</p><p>“It’s just, well, it’s a bit stranger than I thought it would be,” he confessed. “I’ve only ever seen other Turians naked before, and it’s throwing me for a loop a little bit.”</p><p>He was standing in the shower spray, not really moving, just letting the water cascade over him, watching her. She tried not to focus on the way the water ran down his body, even as it made her mouth water, but rather on what he was telling her.</p><p>“My anatomy is different from Turians, I get that. I honestly don’t mind. It’s just a body,” she told him calmly. He nodded, at least slightly reassured.</p><p>“Wanna feel my hair?” she offered easily, with a big smile on her face.</p><p>He nodded slowly, his arm reaching out. She moved a bit closer to him so he’d be able to touch her hair and she turned her back to him, so he could run his hands through it, if he wanted to.</p><p>“It feels different when it’s wet, and it will be tangled up a bit, I haven’t put conditioner in it yet, so be a little careful, okay. If you get stuck and pull, it can hurt,” she explained.</p><p>Garrus very carefully and slowly touched her hair, starting at the top of her head and moving all the way down the length. She turned her head a little so she could look at him, and saw how focused he was, intent on not hurting her.</p><p>“It feels like it absorbs the water,” he said, examining her hair closely, a small bundle of strands between his fingers.</p><p>“Yeah, it kind of does,” she conceded, smiling at him.</p><p>His fingers were moving in her hair, running along her scalp, and it felt good. Before she realized what she was doing, she leaned into the contact with a content smile on her face, closing her eyes. Garrus didn’t stop his caress, instead sliding his hand down to her neck, stroking along the side softly. Alyssa’s eyes opened and she looked at him, the heat in her gaze pinning him in place.</p><p>“That feels good, big guy, don’t stop on my account,” she smiled at him. His hand was moving up and down her neck in small circular motions, which was both relaxing and arousing.</p><p>“Your skin is so soft. With your neck exposed like that, I just, I couldn’t help myself,” he whispered, moving closer to her. His breathing was increasing and his pupils were dilating. He was enjoying this as much as she was. She really didn’t want him to stop.</p><p>“You like my neck? Like this?” she asked as she moved to tilt her head, giving him access to more of it, and she brought her hand up to caress it. His breath caught in his throat and he made a lovely purring sound.</p><p>“Spirits, Alyssa,” he moaned. “You don’t know what you’re doing. To me, that is.”</p><p>He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close, her back flush against his front. He nuzzled her neck, his tongue traveling up to her ear. It felt wonderful and Alyssa moaned as he touched her. It was so intimate, his head buried in her neck and he was making the most wonderful cooing noises, coupled with a deeply resonating hum that she could feel in her own chest. His hands were slowly moving up and down her waist, dipping to her hips and then back up to just below her breasts. She reached her hand back and softly touched his fringe, carefully sliding her fingers over the ridges.</p><p>He froze as her fingers reached the end of the ridge.</p><p>“Lys, this is very, eh, we have to stop,” he spluttered incoherently, clearly struggling in the moment. She turned to look at him, locking her eyes with his.</p><p>“Garrus, if you say ‘stop’, we stop. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” she said. She moved back under the shower, observing him closely as he worked to calm down.</p><p>He exhaled a deep breath, his chin lifting up to look at the ceiling. It took him a hot minute, but then he looked at her, and he seemed calmer and more in control of himself. She tilted her head, asking him a silent question. He nodded. He was okay.</p><p>“Alyssa, not that I don’t want to, but I don’t think we can,” he tried to explain. At her raised eyebrows, he continued.</p><p>“It’s just, well, not that I’m not attracted to you. Spirits, you’re beautiful and kind and funny, and you know,” he waived his hand up and down to indicate what he meant, “naked.”</p><p>“But,” she prompted him, because if that was all of it, they wouldn’t be stopping. He was being so careful, so she let him speak his mind, sensing how important this moment was, for both of them.</p><p>“It’s too fast, and you’re my friend, and you’re still getting used to being here. I mean, that’s part of the reason.” He looked apologetic, which was a weird look on a tall, naked Turian.</p><p>“Alright, those are good reasons. We were getting carried away a bit, I think,” she said and he nodded, glad she agreed with him and didn’t fight him on it or got upset. In truth, she was surprised how fast it had escalated, how quickly she had gone from amused curiosity to full-on grope session. Definitely something to unpack later.</p><p>“Alyssa, if we’re going to do this, we need to get some things checked first,” he explained, sounding more like himself.</p><p>“What things?”</p><p>“We need to figure out if you’re allergic to dextro or if I’m allergic to levo first, otherwise we’re not going to be having any fun for long,” he said, and the penny finally dropped. How had she not figured this out herself already? Because she’d been distracted by the handsome naked guy touching her, she promptly answered her own question.</p><p>“That’s actually really smart, big guy, it hadn’t even crossed my mind. We could have gotten in so much trouble,” she said, shaking her head.</p><p>He nodded, relief that she accepted his reasoning and wasn’t upset evident on his face.</p><p>“So, can I take this to mean that you like showering with me?” she teased, wanting to ease the tension and let him know she was alright.</p><p>“And then some, Alyssa. Not what I was expecting at all,” he grinned at her, giving her a very appreciative once-over.</p><p>“Ha! You just want to see me naked!” she accused him, pointing her finger at him. “I knew it!” she exclaimed when he nodded happily.</p><p>“Like you weren’t thinking the same thing?” he challenged her.</p><p>“Absolutely. Tall, handsome and naked, what’s not to like?” she threw out easily.</p><p>They both laughed, and kept the banter up as they finished up their shower. Garrus walked her to her room, and when she invited him in, he followed, humming happily. Once they were inside and she’d stowed away her work out gear, she motioned for him to sit down in one of the chairs and she sat down in the other, facing him.</p><p>“I feel like we should maybe discuss what happened, make sure we’re okay and on the same page,” she started, a flush creeping up her face. Maybe he’d just gotten carried away, like he said. Maybe he wasn’t actually attracted to her. Doubt was creeping in now that she was dressed and they were alone together. He nodded thoughtfully, but didn’t say anything. It didn’t help her increasing anxiety at all. She gave him a nervous look and he gave her one back.</p><p>“So it seems we’re both really good at this, and very comfortable discussing our feelings like adults,” she deadpanned, trying to dispel some of the tension that was knotting her stomach.</p><p>“I’ll go first, before I completely lose my nerve,” she continued and he nodded, still not talking, but all of his attention focused on her.</p><p>“Okay, so I was hoping you’d already picked up on this a little, but inter-species flirting is difficult, so maybe not. I like you, Garrus. I think you’re smart, kind, funny and ridiculously attractive.” The words came out in a rush, if she didn’t say them fast, she wouldn’t be able to say them at all. He looked at her in surprise, blinking several times in rapid succession, before nodding.</p><p>God, he needs to stop nodding and start talking, she thought, getting more nervous by the minute. She waited, but it didn’t look like he was going to speak up. Her trepidation increased.</p><p>“I’m alright if you don’t think of me like that, and if you just want to be friends, I promise. Your friendship is important, I don’t want to risk it,” she continued, offering him a way out if he needed it. She was hoping she hadn’t ruined anything. He still wasn’t talking and she couldn’t read his expression.</p><p>“Please say something,” she pleaded with him, her voice sounding small.</p><p>“You’re worried I don’t like you?” he asked her, surprise evident in his voice.</p><p>She gave him a nod, feeling more exposed now than she had felt in the showers earlier.</p><p>“I was all over you in the showers, and you’re worried I don’t like you?” he repeated incredulously.</p><p>“Well, when you say it like that, it makes me feel stupid,” she conceded, looking sheepish.</p><p>“Look, as a rule, I’m not attracted to Humans,” he said, holding up his hands to indicate for her to let him finish, “but, you’re something else. I watch you find your way around, helping people with things they don’t even know they need. You have such a big heart. You confide in me and trust me, and I don’t really have a lot of that in my life. Decian's the only real friend I have. I won’t risk our friendship either, Alyssa, but I can’t deny I’m attracted to you.”</p><p>“Aww, you big softy,” she chuckled and reached over to him. She cupped his jaw, moving her hand over his mandible and he leaned into the touch and put his hand over hers, stroking the back of her hand. When she lowered it, he captured it and put her smaller hand in his bigger ones, which felt nice.</p><p>“So before we both break out in hives or worse, we need to figure out if we’re allergic and how bad it is. They have to have medication or something for it, right? We can’t be the only people in the galaxy,” she said hopefully.</p><p>“Would it be okay if I ask doctor Chakwas to check me?” she asked him. “She’ll figure out it’s you though, there are only two dextro candidates on this ship after all. Are you alright with that?” she continued.</p><p>“I’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, the most beautiful woman on this ship just told me she thinks I’m ridiculously attractive,” and the cocky grin was back on his face, that pleased hum emanating from him.</p><p>“Not letting that go, huh?” she laughed.</p><p>“Not anytime soon, at least,” he happily agreed.</p><p>“I’ll try to find some time tomorrow to go to the med bay and ask Chakwas. I’ll have to squeeze it in somewhere though. Shepard and I have a big meeting tomorrow and I’m not really looking forward to it,” she confessed.</p><p>She would have to tell Shepard about all the things that she knew were coming. She wasn’t sure how he was going to take it. How would she react if someone would tell her that in a year's time she would get spaced and would suffocate to death in her suit, while she was hurtling towards a frozen planet?</p><p>Garrus was waiting patiently, to see if she would elaborate, his hands resting on hers comfortably.</p><p>“We’re going to talk about what I know is going to happen and what we can do to fix it. It's just, there are some bad things in there, Garrus. I don’t know how he’ll take it.”</p><p>He nodded, rubbing the back of her hand with his fingers in soothing circles, letting her talk through it.</p><p>“On the one hand, I don’t want to scare him, but on the other hand, how can we prepare if he doesn’t know what’s coming? I’m just worried, that’s all. I don’t know him well enough to predict how he’s going to react and some of this stuff might break his heart,” she confessed.</p><p>“Be as honest as you can be, show him all the angles and let him make the decisions. Be his friend, Alyssa, you can do that. We agreed that we would make sure he makes it through this, so we’ll do whatever it takes. You can do this, and I’ll help both of you, alright?” His resolve shored up hers. She nodded at him, feeling better about tomorrow’s meeting.</p><p>“Now, even though I really don’t want to, I’m going to go anyway and let you get some sleep. Big day tomorrow,” he said, rising from his seat and giving her a fierce hug.</p><p>“Come find me after? Catch me up?” he asked.</p><p>“If Shepard’s okay with it,” she told him and he nodded. They would both have to defer to their commander on that one.</p><p>“Bye, lovely,” he smiled at her on his way out.</p><p>“Night, handsome,” she shot back right before her door closed.</p><p>She sat down on the edge of her bed, and let out a big breath. That man would be the death of her. When she'd laid eyes on him in the showers, her heart had almost stopped. He was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. His large frame, the clear muscle definition and the plating. Then he had pulled her close to him in the showers and she had felt completely enveloped by him. The plates on his chest digging into her shoulders, those big arms around her waist. So different from anyone else she'd been with. Just the thought of him, running his hands all over her, nuzzling her neck, made her hot all over again.</p><p>Running her fingers over the part of her neck he'd been focusing on, she smiled as she fell back against the bed, ready to go to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be tough, she could use the rest. She faintly registered the pleasant buzz coursing over her skin before she dropped off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'd love to hear what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Facing the Future - Morning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Part one of Alyssa telling Shepard what she knows about the Reaper War.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa woke up bright and early, feeling rested. She smiled as she recollected yesterday evening's events before shimmying out of bed and getting ready. She went to the mess hall to get breakfast and as she sat down, she checked her omni-tool. There was a message from Garrus. She smiled and glanced around if anyone was close enough to see her screen before opening it.</p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 05:36<br/>
    There was a gorgeous redhead running around my dreams last night.</i></p><p>She smiled as she bit into her toast. He was teasing her. This would be fun.</p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:20<br/>
    I bet she was naked.</i></p><p>It was less than a minute before her omni-tool received another message. Smirking, she opened it immediately.</p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:21<br/>
    Yes, and dripping wet.</i></p><p>Her jaw dropped. This was definitely fun. And turning her on. In the middle of the mess hall, as she was eating some buttered toast. She quickly stood up, deciding to finish the rest of it in the privacy of her own room. Hurrying, and clearly distracted, she made her way to her room, dropping down on the bed.</p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:24<br/>
    I thought you wanted to take this slow. This is not slow, officer Vakarian.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:25<br/>
    I’m missing something, I think. I meant wet from the shower.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:25<br/>
    Inter-species flirting is difficult. When you tell me you were thinking of me naked and wet, that’s a very vivid picture you’re painting.<br/>
    Human women produce moisture when aroused.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:26<br/>
    Spirits, not what I meant, but now I can’t stop thinking about it. Turian women don’t have that. The men produce the moisture.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:26<br/>
    Sounds like we’ll be a hot wet mess then, when we do get together.</i></p><p>It was alright to tease him, just a little bit. There was no reply for a few minutes, and she worried it might have been the wrong thing to say.</p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:30<br/>
    You know, I can’t show up for duty looking like this.</i></p><p>She smiled broadly, she was getting to him. This <i>was</i> fun. And he was getting to her a little bit too. A warm tingle spread through her body at the thought of him, hard, thinking about her, sending her messages.</p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:31<br/>
    Are you already a hot wet mess, big guy?</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:32<br/>
    And you aren’t?</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:32<br/>
    You’re not wrong. But I can hide it more easily. I’m guessing your situation would stick out more.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:33<br/>
    Oh, it’s absolutely sticking out. Now stop it, before you get me in trouble. Someone could walk in at any minute, you know.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:34<br/>
    Well, I’m not going to be responsible for ruining your reputation on this ship.<br/>
    Be careful putting that big gun away, I’m going to need it later.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:36<br/>
    We are getting this allergy thing checked out asap.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:45<br/>
    On my way to Chakwas right after breakfast.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 07:46<br/>
    Thank you. Let me know what she says. And good luck with Shepard today.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 07:47<br/>
    Will do. Thanks.</i></p><p>She smiled at the messages. Flirty and kind of hot, but not crossing the line. They had an easy rapport laced with humor and she loved it. He knew she was dreading talking with Shepard today and she appreciated the effort to lift her spirits. And oh my god was that comment about her being wet inadvertently funny. She vaguely wondered how many more of these inter-species minefields they would trip over and smiled. Definitely fun.</p><p>She finished up breakfast in record time. She wanted to see doctor Chakwas before she went to Shepard.</p><p>***</p><p>“Hey Doc, you in here?” she called out as the med bay door opened for her. The med bay was empty and just as she went inside, the door on the far side opened and doctor Chakwas was walking back in with a coffee cup in her hand. She was laughing with Liara, who she could just see sitting in her chair in the lab.</p><p>“Good morning, Alyssa, what brings you here this early? I don’t have you scheduled for more shots until next week,” Doctor Chakwas said, motioning for her to sit on the bed.</p><p>“I wanted to discuss something in private, if I can,” Alyssa said, glancing over at the open door where she could see Liara turn to her screen.</p><p>“We can do that. Liara, we’re going to need a minute, I’m closing the door,” Chakwas called out and Liara waived in agreement.</p><p>Once the door closed, the doc turned to her with an assessing look.</p><p>“What can I do for you today?” she asked, an eyebrow raised as she took a sip of her drink and eyed her over the cup.</p><p>Alyssa forced herself not to fidget in her seat. She was a little nervous about discussing why she was there. Put on your big girl pants if you want to take them off later, she chastised herself. She could do this.</p><p>Getting her breathing under control, she started: “I was wondering if you did allergy testing on top of everything else?”</p><p>“You didn’t mention being allergic to anything in your medical history, Alyssa, so no, I didn’t run a panel. Are you looking for something specific?” the doc asked.</p><p>“Dextro sensitivity,” she said, swallowing nervously. She was going to get through this, but she sure hoped Chakwas wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.</p><p>There was a quick smile on doctor Chakwas’ face, but it was gone almost as fast as it appeared.</p><p>“Ah, well, we can certainly test for that. There are varying levels of responses, some milder than others. There’s medication that can suppress the immune system that I can prescribe if it turns out you are sensitive to it,” she explained.</p><p>Alyssa nodded, that all sounded good.</p><p>“Your partner should also get tested to see if they are allergic to levo, just to be on the safe side. I’m assuming they’re also on board the Normandy,” she gently inquired.</p><p>Alyssa noticed the pronoun usage and smiled. The doc was being very professional about all this.</p><p>“I’ll let him know that he should see you to get tested,” she smiled, which elicited a smile from doctor Chakwas as well.</p><p>“Good. I’ll have to run a panel on both of you, results should take a few days. In the meantime, try not to trigger an allergic reaction,” she smiled at Alyssa and there was some mischief there.</p><p>“Anything I should absolutely avoid?” Alyssa asked, because it paid to be detailed in situations like this.</p><p>“Bodily fluids like saliva or sweat don't typically trigger an adverse reaction, except in the most severe cases. So things like kissing should be fine. It is best to avoid exposure to blood or semen however. You should use protection in any case. Here,” she said, turning to a specific drawer, rummaging around in it and pulling out a small white box, “not like you can get pregnant, but better to avoid fluid exchange.”</p><p>She took the proffered box, already suspecting what it would be. She was proven correct when she read the label.</p><p>“These are designed specifically for Turians, Alyssa,” doctor Chakwas explained, keeping a straight face.</p><p>“Thanks Doc, appreciate it,” she said. “Do you need to draw blood or something? For the test?”</p><p>“Yes, pick an arm, please.”</p><p>Five minutes later, rubbing her arm and trying to keep anyone from seeing the box she was holding, she returned to her quarters quickly and tucked the box into the back of her locker. She felt a bit stupid hiding it. She hadn’t hidden condoms since she left her parent’s house when she went off to college, but someone did pick up her clothes for cleaning twice a week and she didn’t want any of the crew to gossip about her. She wasn’t part of the Alliance and while Shepard and the team had accepted her, the crew didn’t necessarily all embrace the unknown intelligence specialist being part of their mission. Satisfied that the box was out of sight, she opened up her omni-tool and sent Garrus a quick message.</p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 08:47<br/>
    Chakwas is expecting you for testing. Results may take a few days.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 08:48<br/>
    On my way there now. Thanks.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 08:49<br/>
    Eager beaver.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 08:49<br/>
    I don’t know what a beaver is.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 08:50<br/>
    Nevermind. Don’t look it up on the extranet. And don’t ask Joker.</i></p><p>She was laughing at the thought of him looking it up and getting sucked up in a pornado, shaking her head as she made her way to Shepard’s cabin. Taking a deep breath and putting Garrus out of her mind for the moment, she entered.</p><p>***</p><p>“Good morning, Shepard,” she said as she came in. He was dressed in his N7 hoodie, black trousers and a black shirt, sitting at his desk. They were going to be in his cabin for most of the day, and he was apparently going for comfort over regulations.</p><p>“Hey Red, come on in. Have a seat over there,” he motioned to the circular table and chairs in the small sitting area.</p><p>She sat down and he moved to sit with her. She gave him a small smile. She really wasn’t looking forward to this.</p><p>“So, before I start, Shepard, I want to apologize. Some of this stuff is going to be hard to hear. I promise to be as honest as possible, tell you when I don’t know something, explain the reasoning behind what I do know. But, given the situation we’re in, there aren’t going to be a lot of happy stories.” She looked at him to see him nodding seriously.</p><p>Dread filled her, but she pushed on. She needed him to know what was coming, she just didn’t want to hurt him.</p><p>“I get it, it won’t all be good news, even if you have said we win in the end,” he replied.</p><p>His blue eyes were focused on her, he seemed calm and ready.</p><p>“One more thing. When is the last time you had this place swept for bugs?” she asked, looking around the room.</p><p>“Bugs?”</p><p>“Listening devices, trackers, things like that,” she explained.</p><p>“I think they did it before we left the Citadel, we’ve been in space since, who would do that?” he asked incredulously. Just off the top of her head, Cerberus, the Shadow Broker or one of his competitors, she thought to herself.</p><p>“Let me answer that after we’re sure we’re secure,” she replied and he nodded in agreement.</p><p>She pulled up her omni-tool and called Tali. She picked up immediately.</p><p>“Hi Alyssa, how are you, do you need something?”</p><p>“Hi Tali, sorry to bother you first thing in the morning, but could you come to Shepard’s cabin, please?” she asked.</p><p>“On my way, Alyssa,” she replied easily.</p><p>When Tali entered, Alyssa asked her to make sure there were no listening devices or anything that could record their conversation. Tali got to work immediately and spent the next half hour going over the cabin with her omni-tool. She couldn’t find anything, told them as much and then took her leave. Alyssa gave her a thank you hug on her way out.</p><p>***</p><p>Sitting back down and facing Shepard, she said: “Okay, so let’s start. We’ve picked up Liara and that’s important. We can’t let Saren use her knowledge of the Protheans, but the long term play is even more important. Liara will be an important ally in the war. In three years’ time, she’ll find, and, with your help, defeat the Shadow Broker and take over his information network. She’ll be invaluable to the team in obtaining the right resources and utilizing her agents to get you what you need and to eliminate threats.”</p><p>Shepard looked amazed and she couldn’t blame him. Their Liara was a far cry from the competent, dangerous woman that would become the galaxy’s biggest information broker.</p><p>“That’s – a big leap from who she is now, I think,” he said carefully. She nodded.</p><p>“Yes, we’ll get to how she got there some other time,” she promised.</p><p>“Before we’re able to defeat Saren and Sovereign and focus on the big picture, there are a few more key missions we’ll have to undertake. I’ve been thinking about the order in which to do them. In the game it doesn’t matter, but I don’t think that will be true in real life.”</p><p>“Alright, what are the missions?” he asked her.</p><p>“There are three main ones, going to Noveria in the Horse Head Nebula to track down Matriarch Benezia, going to Feros, which is in the Attican Beta cluster, because it’s being overrun by Geth, and going to Virmire, which is in the Sentry Omega cluster, because Saren is breeding Krogan to assist in his war effort. All these missions come from the Council, so we’ll have to catch up with them,” she told him, waiting a beat until he nodded.</p><p>“When we bring them the information on Saren and Benezia, they’ll make you the first Human Spectre, Shepard,” she smiled at him.</p><p>“You’re going to be even more famous than you are now,” she said and he chuckled softly.</p><p>“I don’t give a damn about being famous,” he answered dismissively. He'd told her once how he didn't like it when people recognized him after he'd received the Star of Terra. They would come up to congratulate him and all he could think about were the people they lost during the battle.</p><p>“I know, but look on the bright side,” she teased. “Think of the free drinks you’ll be able to get us when we go barhopping. Or all the pretty girls throwing themselves at you.” He shook his head with a smile.</p><p>“Somehow I’m thinking opportunities for hooking up with pretty girls are going to be thin on the ground, Red. If that’s even what I want.”</p><p>“But being a Spectre will be very useful. You’ll have free rein to complete the missions as you see fit and you’ll have access to all the cool toys,” she grinned and he gave her a small smile.</p><p>“Don’t worry, you’ll do well, your crew respects you and eventually you'll earn the Council’s respect,” she assured him.</p><p>“Tell me more about the missions,” he asked her.</p><p>She nodded. She could do that.</p><p>“I’ll start with Noveria, but like I said, that doesn’t mean we should go there first. Matriarch Benezia is on Noveria, she’s smuggled a whole bunch of Geth in with her, without the authorities there realizing it. She’s holed up in something called Peak 15. They’ve captured and tortured a Rachni queen. They want to find the location of the Mu Relay, they need it to get to the Conduit. The offspring of the Rachni are uncontrollable and will all need to be killed. The queen herself can be saved if you wish it. She will be an ally against the Reapers if you do save her. Benezia will have extracted the location of the Relay and sent it to Saren. She will not survive our encounter, but she will be able to break the indoctrination long enough to say goodbye to Liara.”</p><p>Shepard’s’ eyes went wide as she was explaining the Noveria mission to him.</p><p>“A real Rachni queen, I thought they were extinct. Damn. And poor Liara, is there anything we can do?” he asked, rubbing his hand against his forehead. She gave him a small smile.</p><p>“I know, insane, right? I don't know how we could save Benezia, the indoctrination is too advanced. But it's important that you take Liara with you on that mission, because saying goodbye will give her some closure and help with her grief. There are two more missions, I’ll tell you about Feros first.”</p><p>He nodded, focusing on her again, leaning forward in his chair, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him.</p><p>“There’s a Human colony on Feros and a research company called Exogeni is there as well. You initially go there because the Geth are attacking, but you don’t know why. It turns out there’s an ancient sentient plant there called a Thorian. It’s massive and spread out over the whole planet. Honestly, the best thing would be to just designate the whole planet ‘uninhabitable’ and let the thing have it. It’s over fifty thousand years old and the only one of its kind. Saren traded one of Benezia’s disciples for the Cipher, the key to understanding the Protheans. You really need this Cipher, not just because you’ll need it for the Conduit, I mean, I can get you there, but because you’ll need it later. You’ll love this next part, I promise,” she said, looking at Shepard, anticipation building, her smile getting bigger.</p><p>“Ready?”</p><p>“Yes, get on with it, you tease,” he chided playfully.</p><p>“The beacon wasn’t the only thing of value on Eden Prime. Excavations will find an active Prothean stasis pod with a real live Prothean in it. The Cipher lets you unlock the pod and get him out alive. His name is Javik and he is the Prothean avatar of Vengeance. He will jump at the chance to avenge his people and will help you. He’s also an arrogant little shit, and understandably traumatized, but I think it will be good to have him, because if we can get to him ahead of schedule, he may help convince the Council that the Reaper threat is real,” she explained.</p><p>If his eyes were big at hearing about the Rachni, now they almost popped out of his skull. He ran his hands over his face, let out a big breath and looked at her.</p><p>“So if I’m getting this right, we’re talking Rachni and a living Prothean, as well as some weird-ass, really old plant. Fuck me,” he said, looking a bit overwhelmed. Alyssa couldn’t disagree, put like that, it was a lot.</p><p>“You know, there’s a curse on Earth, at least in my time. ‘May you live in interesting times’,” she told him, “and it looks like that curse landed squarely on both of us.” She reached out for his hand and took it in hers. She gave him a soft squeeze, the touch calming him down until he was a little less wide-eyed.</p><p>“With you all the way, Shepard, you won’t be alone,” she promised.</p><p>He squeezed her hand in return, and Alyssa left her hand in his. She felt he needed the contact. Things were not going to get easier as she continued.</p><p>“Ready for mission three?” she asked.</p><p>He nodded. “Let me guess, another extinct impossibility?” he quipped. She laughed, because even if it wasn’t all that funny, she appreciated the attempt to boost their mood.</p><p>“Nope, lucky us. Saren is on Virmire breeding Krogan. He’s found a way around the Genophage, but these aren’t real Krogan. They don’t have free will and will be beholden to Saren. He’s indoctrinating them, I think. Anyway, an STG infiltration unit is stuck on the planet’s surface and wants to destroy the facility. Wrex wants to keep the cure, obviously, wanting to save his people. You make him realize that these aren’t true Krogan and it’s not a real cure. If you can’t convince him, either you or Ashley will shoot him. I’m hoping that won’t be necessary. We can convince him ahead of time, help him see that this isn't how to help the Krogan. We can save more of the Salarians as well, I hope, if we go in with a squad of soldiers and the right preparation.</p><p>He nodded and said: “I’d hate to lose people if we can avoid it by being prepared.”</p><p>“Shepard, there’s something you should know about Virmire. In the game, it’s impossible to save everyone. We lose a member of the crew. Depending on what you decide, in the game we were able to save either Ashley or Kaiden. One of them stays on Virmire and dies.” He let out a heavy sigh, pinning her with a look.</p><p>“But you know the how and the why, right? We can stop that from happening?” he asked, his voice edged with hope.</p><p>“Yes, I do. I’m hoping it will be enough, but we can strategize before the mission, make sure we do all we can,” she tried to assure him.</p><p>“I’m just going to keep going, okay, you tell me if you need a break,” she told him and he nodded. He was still holding her hand, apparently needing the connection. She found she needed it too, so she left it there as she continued.</p><p>“Liara will mind meld with you and recognize what the Protheans meant. It will direct you to Ilos, in the Pangaea Expanse. We’ll need the Mu Relay to get there. On Ilos, we’ll find the Prothean Archives and a VI, Vigil, that explains what happened to the Protheans. Here’s the key to the Reaper invasion, so listen up,” she said, putting her other hand over their clasped hands. He looked at her, sighed and nodded for her to continue.</p><p>“The Reapers, they’re clever bastards. They’ve perfected their annihilation of organic species over millions of years. They created the mass relays and the Citadel, not the Protheans. They repurposed the Keepers and kept them on the Citadel to keep it operational and to make it an attractive place to settle for whatever race finds it each cycle. This way, each species develops according to the path created by the Reapers.” He nodded, taking in her explanation.</p><p>“The Protheans had their government on the Citadel, like we do and like other races before us have. Every 50,000 years or so, when the time is right, Sovereign sends a signal to the Keepers and they will execute a specific command, activating the Citadel's hidden mass relay. This will allow the rest of the Reapers to travel directly to the Citadel. They come swarming out of there in droves, overwhelming the Citadel. Their first attack is debilitating in each cycle. It guarantees them the win.”</p><p>As her words sunk in, he let go of her hands and stood up suddenly, the need to move apparent. He started pacing back and forth, and for a moment, he seemed on the verge of a panic attack. He was breathing erratically and his skin became flushed.</p><p>She stood up and walked over to him, grabbing his arms to stop him from pacing. When he stopped, she cupped his jaw in her hand and gently guided him to look at her. She gave him a small smile when he did. His eyes were wild, unfocused.</p><p>“Breathe with me, Shepard, you need to slow down." She put her hand on his chest, over his heart, to check his pulse. It was fast, like his breathing. She took his hand with her free one and put it over her heart.</p><p>“Listen to my voice, feel my heartbeat. You need to calm down, Shepard. Breathe with me,” she coaxed, taking slow breaths, showing him what she wanted him to do. It took some doing, but eventually his breathing returned to normal and she could feel his heartbeat become more steady too. When finally the wild look in his eyes also receded, she let go of his hand and gave him a hug.</p><p>“You’re good, I’ve got you,” she murmured against his neck. He hugged her fiercely before letting go.</p><p>“Sorry, Alyssa, I’m back now,” he said, sounding a bit shaky.</p><p>“It’s just, all of a sudden it hit me. The stakes are so high. The Protheans were so advanced and they were completely wiped out. And you’re telling me that I’m the one to lead the charge against the Reapers, when they have been repeating this cycle for god knows how long. The odds just seem impossible.”</p><p>He looked at her, the despair clearly etched in his face. She held his gaze, making an effort to keep calm and exude confidence.</p><p>“I know. I get it, I swear. But keep listening and I’ll show you the way through, alright? Trust me?” she asked him gently. She was rubbing his arm in what she hoped was a soothing gesture.</p><p>“I can do that,” he promised and sat back down. She made sure to move her chair so she could reach out to him easily.</p><p>“Where was I? Oh, right. The Citadel is a secret mass relay. Remember when we said it’s a cycle that happens every 50,000 years? This has been happening for millions of years. They leave a single Reaper behind to monitor the organics’ progress. Sovereign.” He nodded and she again clasped his hand.</p><p>“Sovereign sends a signal to the Citadel which triggers the Keepers to activate the mass relay to dark space and allow the rest of the Reapers into the galaxy. The surprise attack destroys the organics’ leadership and they take over the mass relays and have access to all the data stored on the Citadel. Their first attack is the kill shot, Shepard. It’s what happened to the Protheans and every organic species before them. After that, the systems are isolated, unable to organize a coordinated defense and each planet, each system is destroyed, its population killed or enslaved.”</p><p>“Fuck, that’s how it happens? How can we survive that?” He looked at her, silently pleading. For what, she didn’t know. To make it stop, or to say it wouldn’t happen. Through his eyes, the gravity of the situation sank into her soul as well. Telling Shepard made it real for her. She squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile.</p><p>“Not done yet, let me finish,” she whispered.</p><p>“Thank god the Protheans were ruthless, dedicated and smart. They were able to rewrite code so the signal to the Keepers dead ends. They traveled to the Citadel using the Conduit from Ilos and uploaded a code so the signal doesn’t trigger the activation of the mass relay. So when Sovereign sent the signal this time around, there was no reaction. That’s why Sovereign needs Saren. If we stop Saren, then the Reapers cannot come in through the Citadel relay. That leaves Sovereign here by himself.” Shepard was hanging on her every word now, waiting for her to explain what happens next.</p><p>“He’s just one Reaper, and while they’re tough, they’re not immortal or anything. We can definitely take it down, we can use the whole fleet. And that buys us time, because now they’ll have to find another way in to start the cycle. But by then we’re in a much better position to defend ourselves.”</p><p>She was inspecting him closely, scanning his face for a reaction. She again gave him a little smile, encouraging him to connect with her and tell her what he’s thinking.</p><p>“Talk to me, Shepard,” she prompted, rubbing his hand with hers.</p><p>“How much time do we have? Before we defeat Saren, I mean?” he asked.</p><p>“About a year, give or take. Plenty of time to get sorted and prepare, I think,” she answered easily.</p><p>“But that’s not the end of it, right? You mentioned that in three years Liara will be trying to take down the Shadow Broker, so there’s more to it.”</p><p>“Has Garrus been teaching you detective skills?” she joked and he chuckled a little.</p><p>“Maybe, but I’m pretty clever all on my own, Red.”</p><p>“I’m getting that, not just a pretty face, check.” </p><p>She was stalling, she knew she was, but her nerves were getting the better of her. She was absolutely dreading the next part. She stood up and now it was her turn to move, pacing slowly back and forth, steeling herself. Shepard clearly sensed her unease, and let her collect her thoughts. When she was ready, she sat back down. She held both of his hands in hers, looking down at them, not willing to let go, needing to touch him as she forced herself to tell him the rest.</p><p>“Shepard, when you defeat Saren and Sovereign, the Council will call you a hero. But they won’t believe your explanation on the Reapers, believing Sovereign to be just a ship. They send you back out, chasing Geth instead of focusing on the Reaper threat.”</p><p>She looked up at him to find him nodding thoughtfully. She gathered up her nerve and plunged on.</p><p>“The Reapers next turn to use the Collectors. It’s a race that is more myth than fact, and the first time we see them, they – they,” she faltered, tears filling her eyes. Shepard reached up and cupped her face.</p><p>“Whatever it is, just tell me, I can take it,” he whispered, enveloping her in a hug. She choked back a sob before releasing the hug and forcing herself to continue.</p><p>“The Collector ship just shows up out of the blue and attacks the Normandy. The ship is destroyed and you, you try to get everyone out, but you get hurt, your suit gets damaged.” Alyssa’s tears were flowing down her cheeks, she was unable to stop them from falling.</p><p>“Shepard, you get spaced, your suit is damaged. You, - you, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“I die,” he realized, looking stunned. He leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling, but not seeing anything. He stayed like that for several minutes, in his own cocoon, and to Alyssa it seemed like he’d forgotten she was there.</p><p>“Shepard?” she tried, but he wasn’t hearing her.</p><p>“Shepard? Please,” she tried again, but still there was no reaction.</p><p>“John! I’m so sorry, I know you need a minute, but you need to let me finish,” and it seemed like the use of his first name shook him out of his trance.</p><p>“What more is there? I die, seems pretty fucking final to me,” he threw at her, and she flinched. When he saw her reaction, regret was clearly visible on his face and he reached out to hold her hands.</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>“I know, it’s fine. But you want me to continue, I promise.”</p><p>“Alright, go ahead,” he nodded.</p><p>She wiped her tears away and they again sat opposite each other, holding hands.</p><p>“Cerberus recovers your body and spends two years rebuilding you, replacing damaged organs with implants and all kinds of enhancements. They were able to restore you, your mind intact, even if your body was covered in scar tissue. They rebuilt and improved the Normandy and sent you to find out what the Collectors were doing to Human colonies,” she told him as gently as she could.</p><p>“What!? How is that even possible? I come back? What the fuck, Red?” he exclaimed loudly, letting go of her hands and standing up. Agitation was coming off him in waves.</p><p>“If it helps, this was one of the things I was dreading to tell you. You’re taking it rather well, I think, no throwing furniture around or anything,” she managed.</p><p>He gave her a sharp look, and she was sure he could see the devastation in her eyes, because he took a breath and came back to her. He took her hand and pulled her to her feet.</p><p>“I need a hug, and I think you need one too, Red, come on,” he told her gently. She nodded and they reached out, falling into a tight, rib crushing hug, both of them holding on for dear life. They hugged until they both regained some sense of control, their breathing and pulse returning to normal. As they had felt all morning, they needed the physical connection to get through this.</p><p>“You know, I have no intention of letting you die on us, Joh – Shepard,” she corrected quickly, murmuring against his shoulder. “We’re smart people, we’ll think of something.”</p><p>“Just call me ‘John’, Red, I’d like that,” he whispered in her ear and she smiled against him.</p><p>“Deal. I think we should take a break, don’t you? Grab some food and a drink, clear our heads,” she suggested.</p><p>“That’s a good idea. Thanks, give me some time, though? I’ll meet you back here in an hour,” he replied.</p><p>“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere,” she smiled at him before releasing him and leaving his cabin, feeling like the weight of the galaxy rested on her shoulders.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I struggled with this chapter, it's so exposition heavy. I hope you don't mind I ended up splitting it in two. Anyways, hope you like it and let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Facing the Future - Afternoon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa continues telling Shepard what he needs to know.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She released a ragged breath as she exited Shepard’s, no, <i>John’s</i> quarters. She also needed some time to herself, so she grabbed a quick lunch-to-go and went back to her room. She was shaken by the weight of their emotions, and telling him about his death had been so painful, for both of them. His panic attack had surprised her, as had the physical need to be close to each other. She’d felt like they were drowning, and they were each other’s lifelines, clutching frantically in an effort to stay afloat.</p><p>She needed a distraction before going back in so she opened her omni-tool to connect to the extranet. Joker had shown her how certain sections worked, and she knew what she wanted. It wasn’t easy to locate, but she finally found a section on Earth music that allowed access to a music archive of current and old music. Smiling, she went scrolling through the folders before locating what she was looking for.</p><p>Music from home. Alyssa was a music fan with eclectic taste, liking things from almost every era of the twentieth and twenty-first century across different genres. Singing and dancing in the privacy of her own quarters would get her out of her head for a bit before she had to go back and brief John on the rest. It was a coping mechanism that she’d developed as a kid. Her mother would dance and sing with her in the living room most evenings before bed. It had always lifted her spirits as a child and she’d kept it up as an adult. Making a playlist with some of her favorite songs, she stood up, cranked up the volume and started swaying to the music as the first notes started coming out of the omni-tool. Singing along to the music, she started dancing in earnest, the need to move electrifying her skin.</p><p>“Billy Ray was a preacher’s son and when his daddy would visit, he’d come along,” she started singing, swaying her hips and dancing in place, letting herself fall into the familiar rhythm, nostalgia washing over her.</p><p>She closed her eyes, not wanting to focus on her current surroundings, but using the music and the movement to center herself. Letting go of the tension of the morning meeting, emptying herself of the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. She kept dancing, one song after another, until she finally felt like herself again. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but her muscles had warmed up, she felt good in her skin, slightly flushed from the dancing, and her mood had improved immensely.</p><p>Ready to take on the rest of the day, she opened her eyes to shut off her omni-tool and grab her drink off the table. As she reached out, she had the immediate sensation that she wasn’t alone. Turning, she saw both John and Garrus standing right inside the door, side-by-side, both of them smiling broadly at her, their looks mirror images of each other. She’d been so wrapped up in the music that she hadn’t heard them come in.</p><p>“How long have you been there?” she asked them, more amused than upset.</p><p>They looked at each other, laughing easily and she was happy to see John looking much better than he had when she’d left him earlier.</p><p>“We came in somewhere around you singing about someone called mister Brightside,” Garrus said, amusement in his voice. She turned it over in her head, that had been a few songs ago. She loved the Killers.</p><p>“When you didn’t show up to my cabin, I went to find you, meeting Garrus en route. We heard the music coming from your room, and after waiting outside for longer than we will admit, finally decided to come in to see what you were doing,” John explained.</p><p>“When you didn’t react to us coming in, we didn’t have the heart to stop you. I hope you don’t mind,” Garrus added.</p><p>“I don’t mind, no. Sorry, John, I must have lost track of time. I needed to get out of my head for a bit. This is how I do that,” she said, giving him an apologetic look.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, god knows this morning was rough for both of us. Are you feeling better?” John waived away her apology.</p><p>“I am, thank you. Give me fifteen minutes to clean up and get changed? I’ll come to your cabin,” she asked him and he nodded in agreement, clapped Garrus on the shoulder, turned and left.</p><p>“Garrus? You okay?” she asked him, turning around to find a fresh change of clothes.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine, I just came to check on you. Judging by Shepard’s face when I found him, it was a tough meeting." </p><p>“He seemed fine just now, though he wasn’t earlier,” she commented, thinking about it.</p><p>“That’s from watching you dance and sing, I think,” he smiled, looking at her adoringly, sub-vocals humming happily. He crossed the distance between them to hug her and she wrapped her arms around him, relaxing into his embrace.</p><p>“It was wonderful, Lys, watching you move and flow with the music and be so free. You are beautiful,” he told her earnestly, pulling back to look into her eyes. His compliment, so freely given, felt amazing and it warmed her heart. Being in his arms brought back memories from the shower and that in turn warmed up the rest of her.</p><p>“May I kiss you?” she asked him, reaching up to stroke his mandible. He leaned into her touch and smiled before his brow furrowed.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Kissing, putting my lips on yours,” she explained, her fingers still gliding over the side of his face.</p><p>“Our mouth plates aren’t that flexible, we don’t do that,” he replied and she almost facepalmed. She should have known Turians didn’t kiss.</p><p>“How do you show affection, then?” she asked him.</p><p>“We nuzzle the neck, which is very intimate, or touch foreheads together, which is how you greet the people you love in public or friends in private. Everyone else gets a forearm shake or a hug.”</p><p>“So, if you wanted to show me affection right now, what would you do?” she asked him.</p><p>“Well, we’re already hugging, but I would like us to touch foreheads, if that’s okay with you,” he said tentatively.</p><p>“That’s okay with me,” she affirmed and then they moved to close the gap, their foreheads touching. He was caressing her jaw and she was running her hand over his mandible.</p><p>“This is nice,” she whispered and he hummed in agreement.</p><p>After a long beat, he disconnected and looked at her in such an open and adoring way that she melted inside.</p><p>“Show me how you kiss?” he asked her and she nodded eagerly.</p><p>She raised both of her hands and tentatively cupped his face, moving his mouth down to meet hers. She tilted her head and carefully put her lips on his. The sensation was different than with other guys she’d been with, but there was some flexibility and range of movement in his lips, and they made it work. She sighed against him, the feeling of him wrapping her into his arms and kissing her soundly was overwhelming her senses.</p><p>She slipped her tongue out of her mouth and brushed it over his lower lip. Garrus groaned and opened his mouth to slip his tongue out towards her mouth. She happily let him in and their tongues moved together, dancing in sync to their desire. After what seemed like an eternity, they broke their kiss.</p><p>“I could get used to that,” he smirked and she laughed out loud.</p><p>“I hope so,” she replied and moved away from him to finish gathering up her clothes. She still needed to get cleaned up and changed, and go back to meet with John.</p><p>“Now shoo, big guy, I need to meet with John, we’re not done yet,” she told him.</p><p>“It’s ‘John’ now, huh?” he noticed and there was a sharpness to the question.</p><p>“It is. He asked me to call him ‘John’. We’ve had one hell of a morning, Garrus, and he needs a friend. I’m hoping that he’ll pull you in at some point so we can all discuss it together, but all I can say right now is that I’m having to tell him things that no one should ever have to know about their future.” She gave him a pointed look and he nodded, looking chastised.</p><p>“We agreed that he comes first, remember? Whatever he needs. And right now, he needs a friend to hang on to while he wraps his head around this, okay?”</p><p>“I know, Lys, I know. You’re right. I’m sorry,” he admitted quickly.</p><p>“We’re all trying, big guy, I’m doing the best I can,” she sighed, some of the weight from this morning coming back to her.</p><p>“And now I need to go back and hurt him some more,” she said, taking her bundle of clothes to the bathroom and giving him a quick peck on the cheek on her way out. She hated having to do this to John, even though she knew he needed to know all of it.</p><p>***</p><p>At the fifteen minute mark, she entered the captain’s cabin and moved to the chair she had been occupying that morning. He was already seated in his chair as well.</p><p>“Sorry I lost track of time and made you come look for me,” she apologized again. He shook his head, not needing her to say it.</p><p>“I’m actually glad. I mean, I hope you don’t mind, but it was a pleasure watching you. You are graceful and beautiful, Red. Seeing you like that was exactly what I needed after this morning,” he said, giving her an adoring smile, so like Garrus’ earlier.</p><p>“I’m happy you feel better, John. This isn’t easy, for either of us. And we still have so much ground to cover. Do you want me to pick up where I left off?” she asked him, nerves creeping back in, her stomach slightly turning.</p><p>“We need to get through this, Red, so just pull the band aid off and tell me what I need to know,” he said matter-of-factly.</p><p>“Alrighty then,” she said with a small smile, remembering the movies with the pet detective whose catchphrase she was using.</p><p>“Cerberus put you back together again, with key organs replaced by implants. I don’t know which ones, the game doesn’t specify, I think, but it was vital that you come back with your mind and memories unaltered. The Illusive Man, the guy running Cerberus, believed you were the only chance the galaxy had at stopping the Reapers.”</p><p>He nodded, looking slightly ill, and she couldn’t blame him. The thought made her ill as well. John held up his hand, indicating she stop for a moment.</p><p>“Cerberus? It rings a bell, remind me?”</p><p>“Sure, they’re a Humans-first group. They believe that Humans should have a bigger seat at the table to the detriment of other species. They are well-funded, ruthless and xenophobic. They try to advance the Human race through brutal experiments, not caring about the collateral damage, and use assassinations to manipulate events in their favor. They are run by someone who calls himself the Illusive Man, he’s a chain-smoking jackass that has eyes and ears everywhere, money to burn and in the end believes that controlling the Reapers should be Humanity’s end goal. He himself has been indoctrinated by the Reapers however, and his actions cause death and destruction across the galaxy, to Humans and non-Humans alike.”</p><p>“And those are the people I’ll work with?” John exclaimed incredulously. “That sounds like a nightmare.”</p><p>“You’re not wrong, though the team you choose is loyal to you, not Cerberus. And you have quite some freedom to make your own decisions in the field. The Illusive Man sends you into a trap with faulty or incomplete information more than once. This doesn’t exactly win anyone over to Cerberus’ side,” she explained.</p><p>“In the two years you were gone, the team we have now was reassigned or left to strike out on their own, each of them carrying their grief over losing you. Cerberus gives you a new and improved Normandy, the SR-2, and a new crew. Joker left the Alliance to help you and is the pilot of the SR-2. Doctor Chakwas took a leave of absence to help you and she’s there as well.” She paused here, checking how he was taking the news.</p><p>“A new Normandy? And Joker and Chakwas join to help me? That’s something else, Red,” he said, shaking his head.</p><p>“Well, they’re quite fond of you already, and Chakwas wanted to keep an eye on Joker, but yeah, John, you inspire fierce loyalty in your crew,” she smiled.</p><p>“Cerberus needed you, because Human colonists began disappearing in the Terminus systems. Collectors started harvesting remote Human colonies, leaving no trace, all the colonists gone, but everything else left behind. It was like they just vanished without a trace. The Alliance wasn’t really investigating and their thought at the time was that Cerberus would be behind the disappearing colonists. The Illusive Man tasked you to investigate what was happening.”</p><p>She looked at him, reaching out to touch his arm. “This is one of those things that’s going to be difficult to hear, I’m sorry. You and your team find out what’s going on.”</p><p>John braced himself, his elbows on his knees, leaning forward in concentration, before nodding for her to continue.</p><p>“They’re being kidnapped, trapped in stasis pods and brought aboard the Collector vessel to be liquefied and used to create a Human-Reaper hybrid. And that is exactly as horrible as it sounds. Others are turned, distorted into horribly deformed enemies, that are straight out of your worst nightmares. The husks you saw on Eden Prime are just the start. By the time you’re finding out about this, hundreds of thousands of people have been taken and killed or turned into mindless husks or worse.”</p><p>She was keeping a careful eye on him. His shoulders were slumped, his head resting in his hands. He took a few deep breaths and she let him compose himself. This was hard to process.</p><p>“Why? Why would they do this?” he finally asked her.</p><p>She took his hand, like she did this morning, the gesture familiar to them both. It grounded them and bound them together.</p><p>“They target Humans for two reasons. The first reason is the adaptability of our DNA. We’re incredibly genetically diverse and that’s a valuable trait that the Collectors are seeking to take advantage of.” He nodded in understanding and motioned for her to continue.</p><p>“The second reason is, well, again, hard to hear, John, I’m sorry. You killed a Reaper, and disrupted their invasion, their perfect plan. That has never happened to them before. So they are laser-focused on you, which is why the Collector ship attacked the Normandy in the first place. Because of you.” </p><p>She saw the blow land, unable to avoid it since he asked her directly, and dropped to her knees in front of him, grasping his hands in hers. She could see him check out, his stare vacant. She felt his pulse jump and could practically feel the anxiety coming off him. </p><p>“Hey John, honey, stay here with me, okay? Breathe for me, come on,” she insisted, using a firm voice, hoping to stop him from spiraling.</p><p>“Listen to me. None of that is your fault. Those deaths are not on you. You are not responsible for your enemies’ atrocities,” she tried to convince him.</p><p>His hands were shaking, his breathing ragged and irregular. He wasn’t taking this well, as she had suspected he wouldn’t. She rubbed her hands up his arms, hoping that the firm contact would bring him back to himself. And to her. She tilted her head up, trying to catch his eyes, and she saw the grief there.</p><p>“Back to me, John, come on. Come back to me,” she implored. After a long beat, she saw him focus on her and she sighed in relief.</p><p>“Atta boy, there you are,” she whispered, pulling herself up and him into a hug. He hugged her back, the fierceness of it almost toppling her over.</p><p>“I’m telling you all this, but I can’t know how much of it we’ll be able to prevent by doing things differently. I’m hoping that we’ll be able to change the course of the future. Eden Prime has certainly borne that out, so don’t lose hope, John.” He pulled away from her and took a few deep breaths. It seemed to steady him.</p><p>“I know, I just always thought I’d serve some anonymous role in the Alliance, maybe if I was very lucky they’d make me captain of my own ship. This is a bit much,” he said as he attempted a weak smile. She returned his smile, and sat back in her chair, assessing his mental state to see if he was ready for her to continue. She needed to lighten the mood a little, lift the shadows she could see in his eyes.</p><p>“You haven’t been anonymous since the Blitz, John, don’t play coy with me,” she teased him.</p><p>“Well, there’s a big difference between being on a few recruitment posters and being the focus of an enemy hell-bent on the destruction of all life in the galaxy,” he pointed out.</p><p>“You say potato, I say poh-tah-to,” she chuckled and he gave a small snort. That settled her down a little.</p><p>“John, want me to keep going?” she asked him tentatively. At his resigned nod, she continued.</p><p>“Once you figure out that the Collectors are involved and how they are abducting people, you set out to take them down. This involves going to the Collector’s base, which is on the other side of the Omega 4 relay. No ship has ever returned from there. You’ll need to salvage specific tech from a derelict Reaper in order to safely travel through the relay. It’s called an IFF, short for Identify Friend/Foe. The enhancements made to the Normandy SR-2, and the addition of the AI, ensure that you’re able to travel through the relay and move to attack the Collector Base. Still with me?”</p><p>He nodded, and then asked: “Why are the Collectors doing this?”</p><p>“Ah well, as it turns out, the Collectors are perverted, modified Protheans. The Reapers have turned them into loyal slaves, stripped of higher functions and independent thought. One of the Reapers, Harbinger, is controlling them, trying to find a way to eliminate or assimilate what they’ve now identified as their biggest threat. Humankind.”</p><p>She saw him exhale sharply. “Fuck,” he swore and she patted his hand sympathetically.</p><p>“I know. Harbinger’s actually able to take over specific Collector’s bodies and engage you directly. But after one massive battle, using the entire team, you manage to take down the Human-Reaper hybrid, and destroy the base. The Illusive Man wants you to spare the base, so the tech can be salvaged, but I’ve always seen it as a massive graveyard and voted to destroy it. No use handing him valuable intel if he’s indoctrinated,” she added and John nodded in agreement.</p><p>“After you defeat the Collectors, you and Cerberus are through,” she told him emphatically.</p><p>“Good, from what you’re telling me, working with them is a bad idea,” he said.</p><p>“I’ve always looked at it as a necessary evil,” she replied, “but you absolutely need to go against their instructions several times in order to prevent catastrophe later on.”</p><p>“After we defeat the Collectors, I go back to the Alliance?” he asked her, a hopeful note in his voice. Fair question, it was where he belonged, after all.</p><p>“It’s a little more complicated than that. Time to rip off another band aid, I’m afraid,” she warned him and squeezed his hand. At his nod, she continued.</p><p>“You receive a personal request from Admiral Hackett to spring an undercover operative out of a Batarian prison. During the mission, you learn that the Reapers are planning an imminent invasion via the Alpha Relay and the only way to stop it is to launch an asteroid at the mass relay. That will destroy the nearby colony of some three hundred thousand Batarians. You don’t have enough time to evacuate the colony, but you need to stop the Reapers from coming, so you activate the launch sequence and the Normandy is able to pick you up and travel through the relay just before impact,” Alyssa explained, letting out a huge breath before continuing.</p><p>“Hackett comes to debrief you in person, on a Cerberus vessel no less, so you know it’s serious. He believes the Reaper threat is real, but asks you to turn yourself in for a court martial on Earth. So, you drop everyone off where they want to go, and take the Normandy SR-2 back to Earth. The Alliance confiscates it and you’re arrested, confined to quarters pending the trial, which lasts for about six months. They bust you out just as the Reapers arrive in force to attack Earth,” she said, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.</p><p>“So after everything I’ve done, the Alliance locks me up and takes my ship?” Shepard asked, sounding annoyed.</p><p>“Sorry, buddy, I’m afraid so. But you know, as soon as the Reapers attack, you’re suddenly the man again. They send you out to form alliances, organize resistance and win the damn war,” she smirked again, because really, the way they treated Shepard was horrible.</p><p>“If I’ve got this right, what you’re saying is we start off by defeating Saren and Sovereign, then defeat the Collectors and then we take on the full force of the Reapers,” he summarized.</p><p>“Yep. But the stakes and losses get higher every time. We lose some people, civilians and soldiers alike, when we’re fighting Saren and Sovereign. The Collectors cause hundreds of thousands of deaths, and we lose the Batarian colony. But when the Reapers get here, the losses are unimaginable. Earth is reduced to rubble, Palavan and Thessia aren’t far behind. There are so many colonies that are just obliterated, the Citadel is heavily damaged. We’re talking billions of people, across all races, John, devastation on a scale I can’t even explain. And in the middle, or rather, at the tip of the spear, is the Normandy, and you, trying to pull people together and win the fight,” she told him, her eyes filling with tears.</p><p>They were still holding hands, and he squeezed hers, giving her strength to continue.</p><p>“But how, Red, how do we stand against so much death and destruction? How am I supposed to pull this off?” he asked her in a quiet voice.</p><p>“Don’t sell yourself short, John. You’ll make a lot of friends on your travels and everyone knows you. You’ve been warning people about Reapers for over three and a half years at that point, so now that they’ve arrived, you’re the one they turn to. And everyone needs something. It’s a big jigsaw puzzle to get it all organized between the different races to get them all on board. But the main thing is the Crucible,” she told him. He was listening attentively, the shadow in his eyes present, worrying about the future.</p><p>“The plans for the Crucible are in the Prothean Archives on Mars. It’s a superweapon, powered by the Citadel, that is massive, and complicated to build. Getting resources and scientists to support it, while keeping it secret from the Reapers is a huge part of what you’ll be trying to achieve. Previous cycles have started the build, but it’s never been completed in time. Indoctrinated sleeper agents have always sabotaged attempts, and they’re a risk in this cycle too,” she explained.</p><p>“That’s actually one of the things we may want to focus on. Finding some kind of way to counteract the indoctrination. I’m hoping that’s something Mordin Solus can help with. It’s why I asked Nihlus to track him down. He’s actually part of the SR-2 crew.”</p><p>“I hope so, I don’t like the idea of not knowing who we can trust and what information is reliable,” Shepard added, looking thoughtful.</p><p>“Again, you’re not wrong. Cerberus is a massive thorn in our side because the Illusive Man has been indoctrinated and he’s turned all his resources on first trying to control the Reapers and, after finally succumbing to the pressure, actively helping the Reapers. It’s a mess, and it will cost all of us dearly,” she replied, sighing heavily. It had always irked her that they spent so much of their time fighting amongst themselves instead of fighting against the Reapers.</p><p>“I’m hoping if we can keep you alive, and we can convince the Council that the Reapers are real and on their way, we can use the time to properly prepare and get everyone on board. Then we can crush them before they do too much damage,” she explained and he nodded.</p><p>“That makes sense. Let’s hope it works. If I don’t die,” he added somberly.</p><p>“Not if I can help it, John,” she told him firmly.</p><p>“Tell me about the Crucible, how does it work?” he asked. Her stomach plummeted, there really was no good news today.</p><p>“Yeah, about that. The Crucible needs the Citadel to power it, so they go hand in hand. Basically, it’s capable of releasing a massive energy surge, and you get three options as to how to deploy that energy.” He nodded for her to continue.</p><p>“You can choose to destroy all synthetic life, including the Reapers, but also the Geth. It’s implied that you survive this option in the game," she started.</p><p>"Your second choice is to control the Reapers, which means you are sort of absorbed into the energy beam and are now non-corporeal and in charge of the Reapers," she explained as his eyes grew wider as he tried to picture it.</p><p>"Your third choice is synthesis, which merges organics and non-organics on a DNA level and changes every single life in the galaxy. Here again, you are absorbed into the beam and you disappear," she said quietly, feeling terrible about the personal cost of each choice.</p><p>"Each choice will result in damage to the mass relays, although they can be repaired in time. And each choice ends the war, allowing people to rebuild. You can also refuse to intervene, and then the Reapers win and destroy all organic life," she finished her explanation.</p><p>She was watching him wearily, waiting for him to respond. He sighed heavily and shook his head.</p><p>“I know there’s probably a lot more to it,” he looked at her and she nodded in agreement, “but this is all a bit much. I need time to wrap my head around this. Is there more I need to know right now?” he asked and his voice sounded so weary that she didn’t have the heart to continue.</p><p>Slowly shaking her head, she made sure he was looking at her.</p><p>“John, you’ve done so well with everything I threw at you today. Take all the time you need. We have time. There’s one thing I’d like you to think about, though, if you can,” she asked him gently and he gave her a heavy nod.</p><p>“We don’t have to do this alone. Consider sharing your burden. Let Garrus in, and Captain Anderson, and Nihlus. Together you’ll be able to come up with better ideas on how to proceed. I mean, I’m with you until the end either way, but I think it will be better if we don’t have to do it alone,” she said.</p><p>“Until the end, huh?” he said, sounding and looking tired.</p><p>“Yes, John, absolutely, for as long as you need me, and for whatever you need. I think it may be why I’m here,” she told him earnestly and he gave her a tired smile.</p><p>“One more hug?” he asked, his voice full of hope and she got up and enveloped him in a full body hug. He held on to her tightly, like he was afraid she would disappear and leave him alone and her heart broke for him.</p><p>“I’m really sorry I had to tell you all of this, I hope you know I don’t want to hurt you,” she told him in a whisper and his grip tightened.</p><p>“I know, don’t even worry about it, Red. You did what you had to do, the facts don’t change just because I don’t want to hear them,” he assured her.</p><p>“It’s going to be alright, John, we’re going to do everything we can to win this and stop the worst from happening. It’ll be an adventure. And your friends will be here for you every step of the way. We’re not going to let anything happen to you,” she whispered into his shoulder and he hugged her closer, unwilling to let go, needing the contact to ground him. She just let him hold onto her for as long as he needed. When he loosened his grip, she forced a small smile as she looked at him. She could tell he was exhausted.</p><p>“I’ll let you get some rest, let all the new info settle. Call me if you need me, okay?” She offered, hoping he would be alright on his own. She knew that you had to work through some things by yourself, but she felt bad about leaving him alone with so much to process.</p><p>“Thanks, Red, now get out of here. I have a huge headache and I can’t imagine you’re in much better shape,” he whispered hoarsely.</p><p>She wasn’t. Alyssa realized she was spent and needed to rest. Her head was full to bursting and her heart was too. It seemed like a cruel burden to place on any one person, and she hoped that John would let her know if he needed her. Giving him a kiss on the cheek, she again asked him to call if he needed her and then left. She couldn't quite suppress the feeling that she was abandoning him.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Sleep - Interrupted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa and John are dealing with their very stressful day.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She went straight to her room, in no mood to socialize with anyone. Alyssa had no appetite after the tough afternoon they’d had and all she wanted was to curl up in a ball and sleep, so that’s what she did. She changed into her sleeping gear, which today was just a tank top and shorts, dimmed the lights and snuggled under the blankets.</p><p>Just as she was about to nod off, her omni-tool pinged, letting her know she had received a message. Opening one bleary eye, she checked to see who it was.</p><p>    <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 20:36<br/>
        How are you? Let me know if you need me.</i></p><p>She couldn’t help but smile. Of course he was checking in on her. He was thoughtful like that.</p><p>    <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 20:37<br/>
        Rough day, I’m exhausted and my head hurts. Just about to fall asleep. Thanks for checking on me. Talk tomorrow?</i></p><p>She hoped that would be enough. She was too raw for anything else today. She just didn't have the energy left to explain. Hopefully going to bed early would help.</p><p>    <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 20:39<br/>
        Here when you need me. Sleep tight. I’ll see you tomorrow.</i></p><p>She smiled and almost dropped straight off, too exhausted to fight sleep. She felt scraped out on the inside, keenly aware of the grief she had caused John, and which had left its scars on her too. All-in-all, it has been one of the hardest days of her life, almost as emotionally draining as she’d felt in the aftermath of her parents’ accident.</p><p>It was no real surprise therefore when she woke up several hours later, bathed in sweat, panting from a bad dream. Like the one she’d had before, this one had started out nice enough, with her in a gorgeous green dress and Garrus in formal attire, dancing with her in a ridiculously ornate ball room straight out of the Beauty and the Beast, making all the ladies jealous like they’d been discussing the day before. But as she was moving across the dance floor in Garrus’ arms, floating and happy, she found herself being pulled away by John, wearing broken armor and heavily wounded, clutching his side. As she reached out for him, her surroundings changed and they were suddenly in a corridor, with the Crucible's energy beam at the end of it. John’s dirty, haunted face turned to her in resignation, and he gave her a kiss before plunging into the beam. She was screaming as she saw him disintegrate, her hands reaching out to him, unable to stop him from sacrificing himself. She woke up then, with tears streaming down her face. The sense of loss, of defeat, was overwhelming in that moment and she broke down, feeling all alone in the dark, unable to shake that final image of him.</p><p>Realizing that going back to sleep wouldn’t be happening, she sat up, turned on a light and decided to at least get some water and change into dry sleeping clothes. Exchanging one tank top for another, she emptied a glass of water and felt somewhat better, if totally awake. It was still in the middle of the night, hours away from morning and just as she was considering what to do with the nighttime, her omni-tool pinged.</p><p>Surprised, she checked and saw she hadn’t put it in sleep mode. Wondering who could be messaging her at this hour, she opened the interface.</p><p>    <i>From J. Shepard; today at 02:56<br/>
        I can’t sleep. Are you asleep?</i></p><p>She chortled quietly. Who sends someone a message, asking if they’re asleep?</p><p>    <i>To J. Shepard; today at 02:57<br/>
        Just woke up. Bad dream. You?</i></p><p>    <i>From J. Shepard; today at 02:57<br/>
        Same. You said to call you. If I needed help.</i></p><p>    <i>To J. Shepard; today at 02:59<br/>
        I’ll be right there.</i></p><p>    <i>From J. Shepard; today at 02:59<br/>
        Thanks.</i>
</p><p>Alyssa debated briefly if she should change, before deciding to just throw on a hoodie and walking to John’s cabin. It was the middle of the night, so it was unlikely that she would run into any of the crew. Hurrying along noiselessly on her bare feet, her own earlier nightmare pushed to the back of her mind by her worry for John, she entered his room without knocking and found him at the edge of the bed, head in his hands, dressed in his black tank and loose fitting sleep trousers.</p><p>When he heard her come in, he turned to look at her and she could see he was in bad shape. His eyes were bloodshot and he had dark circles under them. He looked like he’d been through the wringer, but he gave her a small smile nonetheless.</p><p>“Hi Red, thanks. I wasn’t sure I should ask you, but -,” he said, trailing off.</p><p>She closed the distance between them, sitting down next to him on the bed and reaching out to put her arm around him. He leaned into her, resting his head against her shoulder.</p><p>“I’m here, I’m glad you asked. I meant it when I said whatever you need, whenever you need it, John,” she assured him.</p><p>She started rubbing slow circles on his back, hoping to soothe him. He sighed against her, and wrapped his arm around her waist, letting her comfort him. He was so vulnerable like this, letting her see his pain and weakness, so far removed from the calm, in control commander he showed everyone else. It sank in then that he trusted her with this side of him, being just John instead of Commander Shepard. She debated whether or not to ask him about his nightmare, but he didn't seem in any hurry to share. And she felt she'd pushed him quite enough for one day. Besides, nightmares would be less daunting in the light of day. If he wanted to talk about it tomorrow, she'd listen.</p><p>“Stay with me?” he whispered against her, almost pleading. His voice was raw, and matched the pain that was evident on his face.</p><p>“Sure,” she decided easily, taking his hand in hers and resting them in his lap. There was no way she was leaving him alone like this.</p><p>“You should try to get some sleep. Mind if I bunk with you?” she suggested, carefully keeping her tone light. He needed sleep to function. So did she, but her job wasn’t nearly as important as his.</p><p>“Thanks,” he whispered and turned his head to kiss her cheek before extricating himself from her grasp. He moved by rote, slow and sluggish, going through the motions with practiced ease. He gestured to the bed, indicating that she should get in on the far side, and then dropped under the covers himself.</p><p>She stood up, moving to the other side of the bed and taking off her hoodie, leaving her in her tank top and shorts. She got into bed and once she was under the covers, she turned to look at him. John was facing her, watching her closely and she smiled before softly asking: “Wanna be the big spoon or the little spoon?”</p><p>He gave a quiet growl before reaching out for her and closing the distance between them.</p><p>“Big spoon.”</p><p>“You got it,” she said, turning around so she had her back to him. He pulled in close to her, her back flush against his front before tentatively reaching out with his arm to wrap it around her waist. She positioned it firmly across her torso and put her arm over his, assuring him that this was also how she wanted to sleep. She heard a contented sigh come from behind her before he settled in, his breathing slowly becoming more steady against her neck.</p><p>“Try to sleep, John, I’ll stay right here. Good night,” she whispered, giving his hand a squeeze.</p><p>“Night, Red,” he mumbled.</p><p>She waited for his breathing to even out and slow, which took about fifteen minutes. Another ten minutes later, she was sure he was asleep. His muscles relaxed and she could feel his arm get heavier. With John able to sleep, she found she was also getting tired and drifted off soon after.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa wakes up in the captain's cabin. She and Garrus talk about what they want and things escalate as they give into their mutual attraction.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the chapter where we finally earn some of our more explicit tags as sexy times ensue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa slowly woke up the next morning to a strange sensation. She was being hugged firmly from behind. It took her a second to piece together yesterday’s events and figure out it was John hugging her in his sleep. Trying not to move, because she didn’t want to wake him up, she instead focused on relaxing her muscles and keeping her breathing even and slow. She wanted to give him as much time to sleep as she could, remembering how haunted he looked when she stepped into the room.</p><p>At one point, he had shifted in his sleep, and readjusted his hold on her, pulling her in closer. His hand had traveled up and was now located just below her breasts, almost cupping the underside. With his body pressed tight as it was against hers, she couldn’t help noticing something firm pushing against her ass. It took a lot of conscious effort not to wiggle her hips or push back against him. That was not why she was there.</p><p>In truth, Alyssa didn’t have a lot of experience waking up next to someone. It happened occasionally with guys she took home for the night, but it had been a long time since she’d had a serious relationship that involved waking up together for breakfast in the morning.</p><p>It felt nice to be this close to someone. It felt safe and warm and she found herself enjoying being wrapped up in his embrace. There were worse ways to start the day than to wake up in the arms of a handsome man. Smiling at herself, she wrapped her arm around his and went back to sleep.</p><p>When she woke up next, it was to the sensation of a hand caressing her arm, and whispering in her ear. A small shiver ran down her spine and goosebumps popped up on her arm. She emitted a small groan before fully waking up, and felt more than heard him chuckle behind her.</p><p>“Good morning, Red,” he murmured behind her, his arm moving back around her waist, pulling her against him.</p><p>“Morning, John,” she replied, tilting her head back to catch a look at him. He had a big smile on his face, and the shadows under his eyes were almost gone.</p><p>“Feeling better, then?” she asked him, already suspecting what the answer would be.</p><p>“Much, thank you. If having you in my bed keeps away the nightmares, I may never let you leave,” he told her, a teasing note in his voice.</p><p>Another involuntary shiver ran down her spine at his playful comment. That did sound nice. She had also slept soundly, which was a small miracle after the day they’d had.</p><p>“Is 'bed warmer' an official Alliance job, then? Does it pay well?” she asked him cheekily. She turned around on her other side to face him, neither of them in a hurry to get out of bed. He was laughing softly, his hand going back to stroking up and down her arm in slow circles.</p><p>“Not sure, but there may be other perks, you never know.” He winked at her and it was her turn to laugh. Imagining what some of those perks might be caused her face to flush bright red, and John’s face split into the biggest smile as he saw what was happening. She was going to get into so much trouble if they kept going in this direction. John was handsome, kind and funny and she was absolutely attracted to him. But on the other hand, there was a very clearly developing thing with Garrus. And she wasn’t about to go behind anyone’s back or lead anyone on.</p><p>Changing the subject, she moved to the edge of the mattress and told him: “We need to get out of bed, John, we can’t stay here all day. Isn’t today thresher maw day?”</p><p>He fell back into his pillow and groaned, his hand moving up to cover his eyes in dramatic fashion. She stifled her laugh at his theatrics.</p><p>“Yes, it is. Rear-Admiral Kahoku’s marines need to be recovered and that damn distress beacon needs to be taken out.” He sounded miserable about it. Recovery missions were always hard, but it was one of the outstanding jobs before returning to the Citadel.</p><p>“Well then, Commander Shepard, get your butt in gear and get those marines home,” she chided him, her tone of voice taking out any heat in her words. She slipped her hoodie on and turned to head to the door.</p><p>“Wait, Red, before you go,” he called out, getting out of bed and coming to her. She stopped, turning in his direction, suddenly acutely aware of how under-dressed she was. Her legs were bare, in just shorts and she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath her tank top. Her hair must be a mess, with a big case of morning breath. It seemed John didn’t care, because when he caught up with her, he gave her a big hug.</p><p>“Thank you for coming and staying with me, Red.” </p><p>“Well, I am the cause of your nightmares, so it’s only fair I try to help alleviate them,” she joked, uncomfortable with his earnestness, now that she felt self-conscious and a little exposed. She shrugged out of the hug and excused herself, promising to check in with him later.</p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa exited his cabin, trying to be at least a little circumspect in going back to her own quarters. No need for the crew to start gossiping about who Commander Shepard was sleeping with, even if it was only sleeping. Her luck held up and she made it to her own room unseen. She plopped down in her own bed, mulling over the last few days.</p><p>Life was becoming increasingly difficult and she wasn’t sure how to deal with it. The sad truth was that she was attracted to both Garrus and John. Judging by how they responded to her, the attraction was mutual. She’d have to talk to both of them sooner rather than later. Open and honest had always been her policy. She hadn’t asked any of her past partners for anything more than they had been willing to give. No strings attached. But she was going to be spending a lot of time in close quarters with them both, and, more importantly, Garrus’ friendship would be critical to John, and she wasn’t going to jeopardize it. If that meant she had to back off from both of them, then she would. For someone who supposedly knew exactly what was going to happen, she’d not seen this one coming and she wasn't sure how to navigate it without any of them getting hurt.</p><p>She wasn’t going to find any answers staying in her room by herself and didn't want to drive herself crazy trying to think up 'what if' scenarios, so she gathered up her stuff and went in search of at least a shower, and then some breakfast. The team had a mission today, so she wanted to be alert and ready to help, even if she was quite confident they didn’t need her help on this one.</p><p>As she was sitting down for breakfast, Garrus slid into the seat opposite her, smiling happily with a plate full of food. Turians seemed to mainly eat meat, and that was on the menu today as well. His appearance brightened her mood immediately.</p><p>"Morning, big guy, how are you?” she smiled up at him in between bites of her sandwich.</p><p>“I’m good. Worried about how your day with Shepard went yesterday,” he replied, getting straight to the point. “Want to tell me about it? We’ve got a few hours until mission go time, and I don’t know who Shepard wants to take down. I wouldn’t mind getting a piece of that thresher maw though, that sounds like fun.”</p><p>“I’ll tell you all about it, but we should discuss it somewhere more private. Never know who’ll be listening in,” she said and he nodded in agreement.</p><p>“Well, at least you look like you had a good night’s sleep,” he commented idly and she blushed. He raised an eyebrow plate at her reaction, a questioning sub-vocal humming emanating from him.</p><p>“I’ll tell you all about that too,” she promised him, feeling a little guilty.</p><p>Changing the subject, she asked him about his day and he started telling her all about how much fun he had sparring with Wrex, and that he thought of her in the shower afterwards. At the last, she almost choked on her food, giving Garrus an incredulous look while he smirked, extremely pleased with her reaction.</p><p>“I got the see the plated Krogan tail too, that’s all I meant,” he told her in a too innocent voice, and she busted out laughing.</p><p>“Honestly, if I had known Humans had such dirty minds, I would have thought twice about joining Shepard's crew,” he continued in his deadpan delivery. By now, Alyssa was laughing out loud, unable to stop giggling as he just looked at her in the drollest way possible.</p><p>Finally, she managed to say: “Garrus, it’s not very good for my ego if Wrex’ tail rates higher than I do in the shower department.”</p><p>Now it was his turn to burst out laughing and they were attracting stares from the other tables, where most of the crew were enjoying a quiet breakfast.</p><p>“I think your ego can take it, Beautiful. Besides, that tail is way too cute to be on a warrior of his stature,” he told her easily and she blushed again at the compliment.</p><p>“It really is, isn’t it?” she happily agreed, skipping right by the ‘beautiful’ comment, but pocketing it for later.</p><p>“And you know, Ashley and I also spent some time going over the armory supplies. We came up with a plan for upgrades based on what’s likely to be available at the Citadel. She knows her stuff, but I think some of the rarer mods will help spec up the team,” he complimented Ashley easily and she let out a breath she’d been holding since he mentioned her. She really didn’t want Garrus exposed to Ashley’s bigotry.</p><p>“Sounds like you had a good day, then,” she replied instead. “Glad to hear you’re getting along with Ashley. She’s a good soldier,” she added neutrally and again Garrus gave her an odd look. He was getting to know her quite well, to pick up on such small things. Damn detective.</p><p>She was finished with her sandwich and waited for him to finish eating before getting up and going to her quarters together.</p><p>***</p><p>They sat down at the small table, and she was becoming a bit nervous now that she was alone with him. Last night's events replayed in her mind and it occurred to her that they hadn’t discussed what they wanted, not really. While helping out John had felt right to her, she wasn’t sure how Garrus would take it, even if nothing had happened. She had no idea how Turians in general thought about relationships, or how Garrus specifically thought about them. Some of her worry must have shown up on her face, because Garrus looked concerned and reached out for her hand, cupping it in his.</p><p>“Do you want to tell me about yesterday?” he asked her, observing her carefully, her hand cradled gently in his.</p><p>She nodded, a small gesture, before taking a deep breath and starting.</p><p>“We discussed the highlights of what would be happening. With Saren, and Sovereign, and after. I explained how the war starts and what impact it would have on John personally and on our galaxy as a whole.” He nodded, having expected this and she continued.</p><p>“It was tough. There are some really dark details, which I can’t share unless he tells me it’s okay for you to know. I hope you understand,” she paused, looking into his blue eyes.</p><p>“Of course I do, Alyssa, I would never ask you to betray a confidence, especially not Shepard’s. You told me how important he is to the survival of the galaxy,” he easily agreed and she sighed in relief.</p><p>“Thank you. I hadn’t expected that telling him would make it so real for me too. Telling him about all of it almost broke me too. John wasn’t in much better shape. Rationally I realize he needs to know what’s coming, but laying all that on his shoulders felt like I was torturing him. It exposed every nerve we both had and rubbed salt in them. That’s why we needed a break, and that’s why you found me dancing by myself.”</p><p>She felt some of her grief from yesterday return, and he instinctively came closer, pulling her into a hug with his big, long arms.</p><p>“Come here, Lys, I’ve got you. It’s going to be alright,” he said as he cradled her. She gratefully sank into him, comforted by his closeness and his care. Letting out a shaky breath, she gave him a final squeeze before letting go and smiling up at him. He really was wonderful.</p><p>“Just what I needed,” she smiled at him slyly and he chuckled.</p><p>“Any time, Alyssa,” he promised. He moved back, but kept her hand in his, perhaps sensing that she needed the contact, which she did.</p><p>“When I went back in the afternoon, I told him everything he needed to know. I mean, obviously there are so many details still to be discussed, but he’s at least aware of all the big things that happen, and how to end the war. It was brutal, Garrus, and it took everything out of both of us. When I left, I was exhausted, and had a massive headache. I was just done. I crawled into bed immediately and was just about to doze off when I got your message. Thanks for that, by the way, it was very kind of you,” she said with a small smile.</p><p>“As an excellent friend, I can really do no less,” he joked and then sobered. “Seriously though, I was worried about you both, I saw Shepard when we came to find you. I knew it was bad as soon as I set eyes on him. He looked, well, broken, I guess. It can’t be easy keeping these secrets, Alyssa, I don’t envy you. The least I can do is try to help when I can,” Garrus told her, gently gripping her hand and running his other hand over the top of it in small circles, the action clearly meant to soothe.</p><p>“I’m hoping we can read you in soon, I suggested as much to John. I hope he’ll consider it and then we can share the burden. I don’t like keeping secrets, but some of it is really personal and I don’t want to divulge it to anyone else,” she offered apologetically.</p><p>“I know, and you’re probably keeping some secrets about me in there as well, so I appreciate it. We’re not meant to know our futures, I think,” he replied pensively and she couldn’t help but agree.</p><p>She was also acutely aware that she had knowledge of their futures, but not her own. On the one hand, she knew none of them had a total guarantee of surviving the upcoming war, but her own fate seemed particularly up in the air. On the other hand, if she'd stayed in her own home instead of coming here, she also wouldn’t know what would happen to her, or what her future would look like. Her parent’s accident had proven that quite effectively. The only difference was that she could influence events a lot more here, even if she was in a more perilous situation.</p><p>“I tend to agree with you, and certainly seeing what it did to John makes me hesitant to share any more than I need to with anyone. But there is no denying the strategic advantage, even if I hate hurting him like that. Anyway, we finished up, deciding to tackle the relevant details another time, and soon after that I was asleep, only to be woken up by another nightmare. No surprise I guess, after the day I had,” she shrugged and he gave her a sympathetic pat on her hand, sub-vocals humming in a soothing manner.</p><p>“John texted me, just as I had decided that I wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep. He was having nightmares too. Before I left, I told him to call me for help and he did. When I went over there, it was the middle of the night and he looked like hell. He didn’t tell me about his nightmares, and I didn’t ask, but I could tell it was bad. He looked so lost, Garrus, it was awful,” she told him, her voice breaking, the emotion creeping in despite her attempts to stay calm.</p><p>“I made a spur of the moment decision, and I stayed. He slept next to me, and my being there helped. No more nightmares, for either of us, as it turned out,” she confessed, unsure of how he would take it.</p><p>“Sounds like you did the right thing,” he said and she looked up at him, surprised. He gave her a warm, fond smile, and he must have noticed the look on her face, because he chuckled softly at her expression.</p><p>“Were you worried I would be upset?” he asked her.</p><p>“Honestly, yes. I didn’t think it through at the time, it was late, I was upset from my own nightmare, and worried sick about John. It didn’t occur to me until this morning that maybe it could be an issue between us and then I felt guilty, like I did something I shouldn’t have. Betrayed you somehow,” she answered, her words coming out rushed, like they did when she was emotional.</p><p>“While I would much prefer you sleep in my bed, I can’t be upset with you helping Shepard when he clearly needed it,” he offered easily. There was no tension in his voice, he just sounded so - reasonable. She could have kissed him right then, if she didn’t think it would be counterproductive to the talk they needed to have about what was going on between them. Instead, she let out a big sigh and hugged him.</p><p>“You are being very understanding, you know. Thank you. I was dreading telling you, to be honest. But you just keep surprising me. It really is a miracle some gorgeous woman hasn’t swooped in yet to claim you as her own. I’m a lucky girl,” she said, unable to hide her relief. She saw the blush creep up in his neck and smiled to herself. He really didn’t know how wonderful he was.</p><p>“We haven’t talked about what we want, though, Garrus, and I don’t want to assume anything. I don’t know much about how Turians approach dating, and I don’t know what you want, not really, I mean. I know I really like you, and I like what we’ve been doing. It seems like we’re moving towards something, you know. Please stop me before I go off the deep end completely,” she said and he gave her another warm smile. She stopped, unsure of how to proceed.</p><p>“Boy, with the day you had yesterday, I can’t believe you had the time to get this worked up about me, Lys, I’m honored,” he quipped. Her jaw almost physically dropped at his droll reply. What was he saying? She was speechless, looking at him as if he had grown a second head. Here she was, nervous she had hurt him, and he just took it in stride, and didn’t seem at all bothered.</p><p>“Lys, I like you. I’m right here. We can take as much time as we need to figure out what we want to have happen between us. I thought we could go on a date when we get to the Citadel, have dinner together maybe,” he told her, the blush not leaving his neck. Despite his calm demeanor, he was feeling nervous, she could tell.</p><p>“I’d like that, big guy. You’re right, we’re not in a rush, and we’ll be on the ship together for a while. We’ve got time to figure this out,” she replied, on more familiar territory now.</p><p>“There is one more thing though,” he told her, and something in his tone gave her a warning. He was worried about something, she thought. Trepidation filled her, and she forced herself to look at him. He’d been so open and accepting of her, she could do no less for him. She nodded for him to continue, afraid her voice would show her concern.</p><p>“I saw the way Shepard looked at you when you were dancing.” His voice questioning, but there was no anger in it. And there it was. She’d been wondering how to bring it up.</p><p>“I know. I’m fond of him too. We haven’t, you know, haven’t done anything. I swear we just slept in the same bed. But at the same time, I can’t deny I’m attracted to him. I know, I suck, it doesn’t make sense to like two people at once, and it isn’t fair to either of you. I don’t want to hurt you, and you and John both need your friendship, and then there’s the mission, which is more important than anything, certainly more important than I am, and I just don’t know. I, I - ,” she trailed off, tears filling up her eyes now. She was looking down, not daring to look at him, afraid of his anger or rejection.</p><p>When he didn’t respond or pull his hand away, she risked looking up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. She found him calmly looking at her, affection shining in his eyes.</p><p>“You’re cute when you ramble on, you know that?” he smiled and for the second time in this conversation, she was dumbfounded. He just wasn’t reacting at all like she had expected him to.</p><p>“Did we not promise each other that Shepard was our first priority? I’ve seen you two together, and Shepard and I had a good long talk after you had your nightmare. Now, I don’t know how Humans typically do it, but Turians are a bit flexible in this regard. I realize it’s possible to like two people at the same time, Lys, it doesn’t make you a bad person.”</p><p>She was having trouble comprehending what he was saying and her confusion hadn’t lessened any by the time he finished talking. She couldn’t really find her voice. Did he really just imply that – wait what?</p><p>“What are you saying?” she finally croaked out, her voice not cooperating fully yet.</p><p>He reached out to put his forehead against hers, gently rubbing them together, and whispered: “I’m saying I don’t need to be your one and only, if having us both makes you happy. It’s not unheard of in Turian society to have more than one partner, and quite frankly, dating a Human is much more unusual than having two partners,” he explained gently.</p><p>She pulled back to look at him properly, and found him completely calm and relaxed, softly humming away, soothing her with the rumble in his chest.</p><p>“Are you sure about this? Most Humans, at least in my century, were still very much stuck on the monogamy train. It’s why I felt guilty, I guess,” she told him, and he nodded.</p><p>“Understandable, but don’t worry, Lys, I’m sure. You’re not going to scare me off that easily. I want that date on the Citadel, just you and me, taking the time to get to know each other. I can show you around, even take you dancing if you like. Take a little break before we’re thrust back into the thick of things. And Shepard seems like a good guy, so I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” he said easily.</p><p>“You are definitely something else, Officer Vakarian,” she said, disbelief warring with relief inside her, even as she leaned over to kiss him. He happily complied and moved with surprising speed, picking her up by her waist and depositing her in his lap. She was straddling him, one leg on each side of his, and she yelped at the sudden movement before he put his lips back on hers.</p><p>“Much better,” he murmured in between kisses. His tongue snaked out to lick her lips and she opened her mouth eagerly, letting him in to play with her. Her arms moved around his neck and she was softly stroking his fringe, which made him growl. The vibration echoed through his chest into hers, and she moaned at the sensation, pleased at his response to her touch.</p><p>Meanwhile his hand had moved from her waist up her back, slowly stroking up and down, his talons applying just enough pressure to feel good, but not painful. They stayed like this for a while, just kissing and exploring each other and she could feel the heat in her body increasing. Being this close to Garrus ramped up her senses to eleven, and she was feeling a delightful buzz coursing through her skin, that was traveling steadily down, pooling between her legs. She rubbed her torso against his, feeling his plates beneath his shirt and the friction of the ridges against her breasts was perfect. She moaned wantonly, repeating the movement, her nipples turning into hard little pebbles.</p><p>They broke off their kiss, and Garrus moved to nuzzle her neck, licking and nibbling his way up to her ear, and then back again. It felt intimate and amazing and if he were inclined to check, right at this instant, she was sure he’d find her wet and ready for him. Rolling her hips against him, her breath caught as she felt something big and hard brush up against her. Something really big and hard. She couldn’t help but groan at the sensation of rubbing up against him like that. Garrus was making increasingly loud and lurid groans and hums of his own, and it was driving her wild.</p><p>“Hmm, that feels good, do it again,” Garrus pleaded, his voice muffled in her neck. She rolled her hips against him a second time, and he growled before giving her a small nip in her neck.</p><p>“Like this, big guy, is that what you want?” she whispered, teasing him by repeating the roll again.</p><p>“Yes, Spirits, like that.” </p><p>He was panting against her neck now, and she moved her hands from his fringe to the back of his neck. She let her fingers trace random patterns on the softer skin there and his reaction was immediate. He stiffened, his whole body going still, the only movement his chest as the humming of his sub-vocals seemed to go into overdrive.</p><p>“I’ve never – oh, Spirits, Lys, don’t stop,” he moaned, and it was her turn to kiss her way up his neck, nipping and licking. It was a heady feeling, being in the arms of a strong man like Garrus, at once so alien and familiar. His hands moved to her hips, rolling them firmly into him while he made small thrusting motions to increase the friction. She was sure that by now she was soaking wet and no matter how big he was, he could just slide right in and take her.</p><p>“Don’t stop – this – you mean,” she whispered, putting more pressure on her fingers as they caressed the sensitive skin on the back of his head. She used her nails to softly rake up and down, hoping he liked what she was doing.</p><p>“So many fingers, just, oh, fuck,” he muttered, almost to the point of incoherence and she smiled. He was affecting her just as much as she was affecting him. And they still had all their clothes on. It was the same feeling they’d had in the shower, their arousal spiking almost immediately upon touching, with very little control on either side. She was drowning in his arms, getting lost in how good it felt to be kissed, and touched by him. It was almost not a question of wanting him, but needing him, and she wondered if it was as acute for him as it was for her.</p><p>She pulled back from his neck, slowing her movements, and looking at him. His desire for her was clear in his eyes, and matched what she was feeling for him.</p><p>“I'd like to revise my answer. The one I gave you about being fine with us taking it slow. I want you, right now, allergies or no. Tell me what you want,” she said, her voice low and husky, filled with lust.</p><p>He growled, actually full on growled, and said, his voice breaking: “I want you too, but I don’t want to risk you dying on me.”</p><p>“Chakwas gave me condoms, that should work,” she revealed with a smile and when he growled his approval, she got up from his lap to retrieve the box.</p><p>“Remind me to thank her later,” he said, before moving to the side of her bed. She turned around with the box in her hand, and he took it from her, putting it on the nightstand.</p><p>“Now, I think we’re both wearing too many clothes, Lys. Are you partial to these, or can I just rip them right off you?” He asked her, his voice low and dangerous. She shivered with need at his words.</p><p>“I love the thought of you ripping them off, but I don’t have a lot of clothes right now, so we’ll have to take it easy. But I like how you think, big guy,” she answered him with a big grin on her face.</p><p>She kissed him then, and moved to slip her clothes off. Shirt and trousers were on the floor in no time, and she was standing before him in just her underwear. Garrus was all over her, his hands going to her waist and stroking up and down, traveling to her hips to cup her ass and to pull her up against him. She reached back and unclasped her bra, letting it drop to the floor. Garrus moved back a little, looking at her breasts. </p><p>“I’m guessing Turian women don’t have these?” she asked, moving her hands up to cup her breasts. He slowly shook his head, his focus on her hands. She reached out to grab his hands and guided them to where she wanted them.</p><p>“Squeeze them a little, see how you like them,” she asked him, watching him closely. He swallowed heavily, and then she felt him carefully apply pressure.</p><p>“That’s it, a little more, I won’t break,” she encouraged him and he immediately complied. Her nipples were already hard nubs, and he slid his fingers across them and she gasped.</p><p>“Fuck, that feels good,” she moaned and he smiled.</p><p>“They feel amazing, so soft, and these things are wonderful, very responsive,” he commented. He gave her nipples an experimental pinch and Alyssa hissed in a breath.</p><p>“Yes, don’t stop,” she pleaded and he did it again. A small part of her not currently overwhelmed with pleasure was enjoying watching him get acquainted with her body.<br/>
He suddenly turned her around so her back was to him and cupped her breasts from behind. It reminded a primal part in her that she was in the arms of an apex predator, both stronger and faster than she was and a shiver ran through her. She knew she was absolutely safe however. Garrus wouldn’t hurt her. When she turned her head to look at him, he smiled in her neck and said:</p><p>“I like playing with your breasts, Lys, but I like your neck too, this way I have both.” He sounded proud and she couldn't stop grinning, happy to be in his arms.</p><p>His hands were manipulating her breasts, squeezing, pulling and rolling her nipples with his fingers while his mouth moved to her neck, nipping and licking his way up to her ear. They were pressed close together and she could feel his hard length pushing against her. She tilted her hips slightly to allow her ass to rub against it and he gave her a low moan. His sub-vocals had been making the most amazing rumbling noises, which seemed to resonate in his chest and the vibrations were doing wonderful things for her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so turned on or needed someone as much as she did Garrus right then.</p><p>“You’re killing me, Garrus. I need you, please,” she moaned softly and he growled again. The sound was deep and possessive, and went right to her core.</p><p>“You’re driving me crazy, Lys,” he whispered in her ear.</p><p>In one swift move, he pulled down her panties, leaving her naked in front of him and moved them to the bed. She crawled on, moving to the middle of the bed and he made to follow her, growling softly at the sight of her moving on her knees away from him to get into position. She turned and shook her finger at him.</p><p>“Oh no, big guy, this is not a naked party for one. Take it all off before you get on this bed,” she ordered him from her prone position. He smirked at her, all heat and arousal and quickly shed his clothes. He stood at the side of the bed to let her look at him before he made his way to her. Her mouth fell open at the sight of him. He was absolutely gorgeous, all hard plates and rough edges. His cock was rock hard, the same grey color as his skin and glistening. There really was no other word for it, it was definitely glistening. All the moisture left her mouth and she was only able to stare at him, her brain short circuiting with lust. She gave a small squeak, her voice not able to perform anything more elegant right then.</p><p>“Lys, you okay?” he asked her, concern creeping in.</p><p>She nodded, still transfixed until she was finally able to will one part of her to react the way she wanted to. She crooked her finger at him, and with a big lascivious grin he moved to the bed and made his way over to her.</p><p>“Like what you see, then?” he whispered when he pulled up next to her, one hand resting on her hip while he supported his head with the other one. He leaned in and kissed her shoulder, running his lovely tongue up her collarbone, making her shiver with need.</p><p>“You are absolutely irresistible, you know,” she finally said, glad that at least some of her faculties returned to her.</p><p>“I’m having some trouble resisting you too, sweetheart. I can’t help touching you, you feel wonderful everywhere.”</p><p>His hand was traveling up from her hip, making its way across her abs up to her breast, before cupping it and giving it an affectionate squeeze. She arched her back into the touch, a moan slipping out and he moved to her neck, licking all the way up to her ear, before nipping it. His every touch made her skin buzz with want.</p><p>“Tell me what you need, sweetheart,” he whispered in his low husky voice.</p><p>“You, inside me, right now,” she said, looking straight at him. She didn't want to wait any longer, her need for him was an almost tangible thing.</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” he responded immediately, turning around to grab a condom from the box.</p><p>Quickly rolling it on, he pushed her down on the bed, moving up above her. She felt him settle some of his weight on her, but he was using his knees and arms to keep most of it off her, which she appreciated. She could clearly see and feel how much he wanted her and that spurred her on as well. Running her hands up and down his torso, she gripped his waist and put her mouth right near his hearing canal.</p><p>“Please, Garrus, take me.”</p><p>He growled and kissed her fiercely, dropping his hips. She reached down and guided him inside, moaning as he slowly slid in. He was being so careful, steadying himself, watching her reactions closely. She couldn’t remember ever being so wet, or horny. She moved her hands to his ass and pulled him closer, sinking him inside her.</p><p>“Don’t stop, you feel fantastic,” she urged him on and he responded, pushing in deeper before pulling out and plunging back in.</p><p>“Spirits, you’re so tight, oh fuck,” Garrus whimpered, straining to stay in control.</p><p>“Move, big guy, give it to me,” she pleaded with him, lifting her hips up to meet his, trying to get him deeper inside, to create the friction she craved.</p><p>He started thrusting into her faster, and she matched his pace, both of them panting and writhing together, her hands running all over his back before moving back to his neck and caressing his nape.</p><p>“Yes, just like that, oh god,” Alyssa breathed, overwhelmed by him. He felt so good, bigger than anyone she’d ever been with. He was nipping and biting her neck, and each time he did, it went straight to her core. She felt like every synapse was on fire, all screaming his name as he moved inside her. She felt her orgasm building, the fullness and the friction too much for her to handle.</p><p>“Garrus, oh, oh, I’m coming, don’t stop,” she moaned and he picked up the pace, growling in her neck.</p><p>“That’s it, come for me, Lys, let go, I’ve got you,” he whispered, licking her neck before biting down on her pulse point. The abrupt pain was the final push. She crashed hard, her body trembling as her vision whited out and her breathing stopped.</p><p>She vaguely heard Garrus cry out ‘Spirits' before she felt him come as well, his body going rigid and his cock pulsing inside her. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, needing him as close as possible as they came down together. She’d never come as hard before, and certainly not from just penetrative sex. They were entwined like this, Garrus on top of her, for a while, before Garrus kissed her and moved to her side, slipping out of her in the process. He rolled to the other side, turning his back to her, presumably to deal with the condom, before turning back to her and reaching out to touch her bare skin.<br/>
He was slowly caressing her, moving from her hip to her breast and back again, idly tracing patterns. She turned and smiled at him, reaching out to do the same, her fingers following the ridges of his plates. She moved closer and kissed him, opening her mouth for his tongue to play with hers. It was sensual and relaxing, the two of them just kissing and touching, most of the heat and frenzy sated by their orgasms.</p><p>“That was amazing, Garrus, damn,” she told him in between kisses. He hummed happily, pleased with himself.</p><p>“You almost killed me, Lys, Spirits, you’re perfect,” he replied, a note of awe in his voice.</p><p>“At least we know, whatever else happens, this works,” she joked and he laughed with her, easy and carefree.</p><p>“Absolutely, sweetheart,” he agreed and kissed her again.</p><p>They ended up staying in bed for another half hour, just talking, kissing and touching each other. For Alyssa, yesterday’s sorrow was alleviated by today’s good fortune, and she felt like she could take on the world. As long as Garrus was by her side of course.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Thresher Maw</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team recovers Kahoku's marines and Ashley suggests a group dinner so they can bond.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Garrus and Alyssa were still in bed, talking, kissing and nuzzling when they were spurred into action by Joker’s ship wide announcement, letting them know they had arrived in the Sparta system and would be approaching Edolas in an hour.</p><p>“Let’s go find Shepard, see who he wants to bring with him on the mission,” Garrus said.</p><p>Alyssa was happily nestled in his arms but reluctantly agreed. They untangled their entwined limbs and moved out of bed to clean themselves up and get dressed. She watched Garrus closely as he put on his clothes, the reverse striptease not nearly as enticing as when he'd shed his clothes for her earlier. She smiled when she noticed Garrus paying attention to her as she was getting dressed as well and shot him a cheeky wink, which made his sub-vocals give out a pleased little rumble. His mandibles flared into a wide smile and it settled something inside her. </p><p>She still couldn't quite believe that they'd actually had sex, although the soreness between her legs would certainly keep reminding her of that fact whenever she moved. Or the marks he'd likely left on her when he'd bitten her. Thankfully, he'd used his mouth plates and not those razor-sharp teeth of his and he'd been careful not to break the skin. She'd have to check them out in the mirror later, she promised herself. More surprising still had been the cuddling and talking afterwards. She felt cared for, treasured even, when he'd wrapped her up and pulled her close like that. The time they'd spent in bed afterwards had almost been more intimate than the act of sex itself. She turned that over in her head a couple of times while she got dressed. Finally focusing on her surroundings instead of the wonderful man who was humming happily on the other side of the bed, she gave the room a visual once over, Alyssa decided to spend a bit more time making the bed and getting rid of any obvious evidence of what had gone on in the room, with Garrus shaking his head and chuckling at her efforts.</p><p>“What? Don’t laugh at me. I don’t need the gossip that comes from an unmade bed with a used condom next it, big guy. The crew don’t know me, and I don’t need the stares and innuendo,” she said, but it didn’t stop him from laughing at her.</p><p>“So different from Turians,” he muttered, shaking his head at her explanation.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, paragons of virtue, never will a piece of gossip pass their lips,” she teased him, coming over to grab a final kiss before they left her quarters.</p><p>“Off you go, big guy, see if John needs you,” she said, smacking him on the butt as he was leaving.</p><p>“Watch it, don’t damage the merchandise,” he scolded her, though his sub-vocals chirped in amusement, giving her a small wave as the door opened before leaving to find Shepard.</p><p>***</p><p>As it turned out, Garrus wasn’t needed for the thresher maw mission. John wanted to take Kaiden and Ashley, since they'd be recovering Alliance marines. Both had volunteered to bring their brothers and sisters home. Walking around the ship, she noticed how quiet it was, none of the levity that she'd grown used to was present, reflecting the gravity of the ground team's mission. Alyssa stayed in the CIC until she heard they'd successfully taken down the thresher maw and then went back to her quarters. She would see them when they came back on board and make sure they were alright then.</p><p>The mission took them a few hours to complete, not just downing the thresher maw, but also recovering the bodies and moving them to cryo storage in the cargo hold. They had also managed to capture evidence indicating the transmitter had been planted there on purpose, which was a nice bonus. If they could link it to Cerberus, that would give the Alliance and the Council something to prosecute and they could get some justice for the dead servicemen and -women. </p><p>Alyssa was there to meet the team when they came back on board, their moods subdued. They were all dirty and looked tired. John smiled at her as soon as he saw her though and moved off to talk to her. Ashley and Kaiden nodded and went straight to the crew quarters without debriefing or saying a word. That was all the confirmation she needed on how tough it had been planetside. She watched them go down the corridor to the CIC before turning her attention to John. A dirty, smelly, clearly exhausted John.</p><p>“Thanks for the heads-up on the thresher maw, if we had been blindsided, we would have taken heavy damage. It was a clever bastard. It waited until we were almost at the transmitter’s base before showing itself,” he explained quietly. The only one that could possibly overhear them was Joker and he was focused on getting them out of the system safely.</p><p>“Glad you came back in one piece, and with the marines. It will help their families to have them back instead of just missing in action,” she replied and he nodded gravely. It was the risk known to every soldier everywhere, why Kaiden and Ashley had volunteered for this mission, and why John had let them come.</p><p>“I’ll go clean up. Want to meet for dinner later?” he asked easily and she smiled and nodded.</p><p>“Sure thing. Shall we invite the whole team? It would be good to have them all together and bond a little,” she replied and he agreed.</p><p>“Good idea, can you let them know? I really need a shower,” he said, wincing as he caught a whiff of himself. She nodded and shooed him along, up to his cabin. Watching him go, she reflected that even the small missions carried an emotional toll and that as commander, the weight of that burden fell on his shoulders. With that in mind, dinner with the team sounded like a good way to distribute the load and insert some lightness into their day.</p><p>***</p><p>Dinner was a lively affair. Alyssa really liked the full table setup, with everyone piling in and eating together. At one end of the table, Kaiden was regaling Ashley with stories of some of his livelier missions and she was reciprocating, both of them engrossed in their own conversation. Alyssa allowed herself a small smile. It was cute to see them together, and Kaiden seemed quite taken with the hardened gunnery chief. She was throwing him appreciative looks as well.</p><p>Alyssa was sitting in between Garrus and Tali, and across from John, who had Liara on one side and Wrex on the other. Wrex was in the middle of telling all of them about the Krogan legend of Kalros, a massive thresher maw that roamed around on Tuchanka and protected the planet.</p><p>A clearly skeptical Garrus interrupted Wrex to ask: “Wait, so what you’re saying is, no one has seen it up close? If it’s as big as you say, that seems unlikely. And if you do see one, how do you even know it’s the same one? They all look alike to me. I call ‘bullshit’.”</p><p>Wrex shot him a dirty look before answering: “Look, pretty boy, a lot of Tuchanka is uninhabitable. People have seen it move in the distance. It’s real. Just because you don’t believe it until you can touch it, doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.”</p><p>Liara added in a thoughtful voice: “I love the legend of Kalros, but there hasn’t been a credible sighting in almost eight decades. It’s possible she is dead. Legend has it she has been around for thousands of years. What is the average lifespan of a thresher maw anyway, it seems unlikely they live that long?”</p><p>“I don’t care what you say, Kalros is the mother of all thresher maws and she comes to protect Tuchanka when called. I saw her once, you know, when I was young," he revealed, his voice turning almost wistful. "She was magnificent, she roared out of the sand, and the ground around me shook. My father held me up so I could take a better look before she dropped off back into the sand,” Wrex told them, clearly unhappy with the direction of the conversation.</p><p>Liara interjected: “But Wrex, you’re, well, it’s not polite to point this out really, but, you’re quite old. This sighting must have been a long time ago, right?”</p><p>“So? A glorious beast like Kalros doesn’t just die of old age, Asari, they are not feeble creatures. She embodies the spirit of all Krogan, and we are warriors. So is she. She is alive, I’m sure of it,” Wrex countered, getting more worked up by the minute.</p><p>Alyssa stayed out of the discussion, although with a huge smile on her face. The team was talking and eating together and enjoying themselves and so was she. John gave her a knowing look, having clocked her expression, and noticing his reaction, Garrus turned to look at her as well.</p><p>“If you know something we don’t, it’s polite to share, you know,” Garrus told her quietly, leaning over to whisper in her ear. The intimate movement wasn’t lost on John, who studied both of them for a moment with a slightly puzzled look on his face.</p><p>She smiled at Garrus before returning in a whisper: “Now what would be the fun in that?”</p><p>“What are you two whispering about? Just spit it out,” Wrex practically growled. “I know that look, kid, if you know something, just tell us,” he prodded her.</p><p>They all turned to look at her, and she gave Wrex a huge smile before answering. She'd been enjoying the back and forth between the three of them, but this was one thing she knew about the future that would make someone happy and she was excited to share it.</p><p>“Wrex is right. Kalros is alive. And she is everything he says she is, massive, bad-tempered and ready to defend Tuchanka.”</p><p>Wrex raised his arms in triumph, shouting at the top of his voice: “Mighty Kalros, glorious mother of monsters is alive, I knew it.” The smugness that came with that declaration was hard to miss and entertained the hell out of her.</p><p>The team all laughed with Wrex, congratulating him on the protector of Tuchanka. Wrex turned to Alyssa to thank her.</p><p>“This is important to my people, Alyssa, thank you for telling me. And for shutting these idiots up in the process,” he said, glaring at Garrus and Liara. There was little malice in his words and Garrus only chuckled, but Liara, who didn’t know the ancient Battlemaster all that well yet, turned a slightly lighter shade of blue and shrank back in her chair. Alyssa looked around to see the mess hall was empty except for the team seated at the big table.</p><p>"My pleasure, Wrex. I actually saw her take on a Reaper that had landed on Tuchanka. Would you like me to tell you the story?" she offered, grinning when Wrex banged the table with his fist and urged her to share. The table fell silent and focused on her as she settled in to tell the story, making sure to emphasize the ferociousness and strength of Kalros and skirting past why they were on Tuchanka in the first place. Wrex was loud in his appreciation of her tale and roared his approval when she revealed Kalros had slain her foe. The team was thoroughly entertained and complimented her on her storytelling skills, which made her blush.</p><p>The rest of the evening was spent with the team relaxing in the mess hall, drinks showing up some time after dinner, and Joker joining them to swap stories and get to know each other better. Alyssa was enjoying herself, feeling like she was part of the team and soaking up the camaraderie. Tali was telling them about life in the Flotilla, and confessed she was having some trouble sleeping because the ship was too quiet. In the Flotilla, a quiet ship meant mechanical issues, and imminent danger. The Normandy, being brand new, didn’t have this problem, and it was turning Tali into an insomniac.</p><p>“You should try bunking near Wrex, he snores so loudly you won’t be able to hear yourself think,” Garrus chimed in helpfully, which set all of them off in a fit of laughter and caused Wrex to throw a beer cap at Garrus’ head. Garrus yelped in mock pain, rubbing his head with a fake scowl on his face. The whole thing made Alyssa snort in a most unladylike fashion.</p><p>“Like you’re quiet, pretty boy, I swear that carapace enhances whatever noise you make," Wrex shot back at him, kicking off another round of laughter at the table.</p><p>Garrus took the good-natured ribbing amiably, before turning to Tali. He leaned over Alyssa slightly, moving his hand to her thigh as he did, and said conspiratorially: “Open invitation, if you need loud noises to sleep, below deck is where it’s at.”</p><p>Tali snorted at his comment, before subtly shifting her focus to the hand on Alyssa’s thigh. She looked up at them, moving her head to the side in thought, but refrained from commenting. As Garrus moved back to re-engage the others in conversation, he left his hand on her leg, slowly tracing circles on the inside of her thigh. The small gesture, intimate but relaxed, caused Alyssa’s heart to flutter. She had caught Tali looking, but when the Quarian didn’t say anything, she decided to just leave it be as well. They were all adults after all, even if Tali was a little younger than they were.</p><p>She leaned over to Tali and told her, more seriously: “If you can’t sleep, we can go talk to Doctor Chakwas, I’m sure she’ll have something that can help. You’re safe here, none of these knuckleheads are going to let anything happen to you while you’re on board.”</p><p>Tali nodded gratefully. “That’s a good idea, thank you, Alyssa. Would you come with me? I have no experience with Human doctors,” she confessed.</p><p>“No problem. She’s taken so much of my blood by now, I’m sure I can get you in at a discount,” she joked, which made Tali laugh.</p><p>She continued talking to Tali, while the rest of the conversation flowed around them, Garrus’ hand caressing the inside of her thigh, slowly moving up and down her leg. She gave no outward sign at having noticed it there, and he didn’t acknowledge it either, but both of them enjoyed the contact, connecting them even when they weren’t talking or even looking at each other.</p><p>After way too many drinks and right around when the loud singing started, Joker heading that particular effort and trying to engage Garrus in belting out Turian war songs, Shepard excused himself. He thanked everyone for a lovely and lively evening, shot Alyssa a grateful look and retired to his quarters. The others waived him off, wishing him good night. It seemed to be the unofficial signal that the gathering was at an end and it was probably time for bed. One by one, they cleaned up their mess and retired to their bunks and sleeping quarters.</p><p>Garrus hung back so he could walk Alyssa to her room, checking if the coast was clear before giving her a smoldering kiss, making her knees weak and her heart rate rabbit. </p><p>“Good night, Lys, sweet dreams,” he murmured in her ear before walking to the elevator.</p><p>“Night, big guy, see you tomorrow,” she called after him, then turned to enter her quarters with a big smile on her face, her fingers touching her lips where he’d just so effectively kissed her. He was getting the hang of that quickly and seemed to enjoy it, just like she'd begun to see the innate intimacy in touching foreheads together. Undoubtedly there would be bumps in the road, what with Turians and Humans coming from such vastly different cultural backgrounds, but she was very happy that so far, they seemed to fit together well enough with a minimum amount of awkwardness. </p><p>All in all, it had been a very good day, she thought happily. She swayed a little as she moved around her room, Garrus’ kiss doing nothing to steady her already erratic movements, impaired by too much alcohol. She fell back into her bed, sighing happily before rolling up into a ball and falling asleep immediately.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you're enjoying Alyssa's adventures in space! Any feedback is welcome, this is my first attempt at writing, so let me know what you think.<br/>And a big thank you to those of you who've already commented! You kind, wonderful people!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. And then there were three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa and John take the next step, the guys have a heart-to-heart and Garrus is pulled into the circle of trust.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Alyssa was walking outside, a soft breeze on her skin. She was wearing a green summer dress, the wind picking it up and twirling it around her legs. Her hair was down, flowing over her shoulders and she felt the sun warm her skin. Someone was holding her hand, caressing her softly with his finger, and when she looked to see who it was, she saw Garrus’ smiling face. He looked gorgeous, in a crisp white shirt with blue markings and he was so at ease, walking with her in between the trees and flowers.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m glad you decided to show me where you’re from, it’s beautiful here, Lys,” he told her, reaching over to kiss her gently.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She felt like she was floating on air, perfectly happy and content in the moment. She could hear the birds chirp, making happy mating noises at each other as they rustled in the trees.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I run in this park in the mornings, it’s so peaceful,” she explained to him, pointing to the path up ahead that she would take on one of her routes.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He hummed happily, comfortable in her environment, fitting in naturally. The birds were chirping louder now, enough to be annoying. She looked up, trying to find the source of the noise. How could one bird make that much racket? Frowning, she was distracted and when she looked up, Garrus was gone.</i>
</p><p>She woke up abruptly, her omni-tool making an insistent sound she fumbled to shut off in her sleepy state. It was an incoming call, and it took her a second to focus her eyes enough to see who it was.</p><p>“John,” she croaked, her voice not having received the message that she was now awake.</p><p>“Red, can you come see me? I heard back from Nihlus,” John’s voice, sounding so much more alert than hers, rang out through her omni-tool.</p><p>“Yeah, sure, but I need some time. You woke me up, from a rather nice dream I might add,” she told him.</p><p>“No rush, come see me when you’re up, sleepy head.”</p><p>“Thanks, John, see you soon,” she answered, ending the connection before falling back into bed with a sigh.</p><p>As her wits came back to her, she was increasingly curious to find out what Nihlus had to report and it was her anticipation that drove her to hurry to grab a quick shower and get dressed. She impatiently combed out her hair, before braiding it quickly and letting it fall over her left shoulder. Less than thirty minutes later, she had made her way over to John’s cabin, knocking before letting herself in.</p><p>“Hey John, how are you?” she asked as she made her way inside. She eyed him critically, noting with some satisfaction that he looked good. No dark circles under his eyes and he seemed relaxed, his expression open.</p><p>“Doing well, all things considered. I’ll be happier once we’re able to bring those marines home. But I won’t lie, it felt good taking the thresher maw out, knowing it wouldn’t lure any more people to their deaths. Do you think it’s weird that killing things acts as a sort of stress relief?” he asked her, head cocked to the side.</p><p>“No, I’m sure that’s perfectly healthy, psychologically speaking,” she deadpanned, eliciting a chuckle. “Good to see you’re doing better, at least. You look like you slept well,” she continued.</p><p>He laughed and she was happy to see there were no stress lines near his eyes.</p><p>“I didn’t sleep quite as well as when you were with me, but the alcohol helped, I think. No bad dreams, or dreams at all, even,” he replied. Briefly, the memory of waking up in his arms flashed through her head, and she couldn’t help but smile involuntarily. Not why she was here, she chastised herself.</p><p>“So, Nihlus was in touch?” she asked, unable to hide her curiosity, focusing on the purpose of the meeting.</p><p>“Yes, take a look,” he said, moving away from the console so she could read the message.</p><p>      <i>To: Shepard, J.<br/>
     From: Kryik, N.</i></p><p>
  <i>  Shepard,</i></p><p>
  <i>  Tell Scarlet I’ve found her genius. Currently en route from Alpha location to rendezvous with you. Will see you at 422 in three days.<br/>
  Glad to hear acquisition of asset went well. Good job.</i>
</p><p><i>  Regards,<br/>
  NK</i>
</p><p>She reread the message, and then looked up at John to see him smiling at her.</p><p>“He found Mordin on Omega and he’s taking him to the Citadel. We’ll see him in three days. That’s great news, John,” she gushed and he nodded happily.</p><p>“Timing wise it works out, we’ll be right behind him. Hopefully we’ll be able to see the Council together and show them the evidence on Saren. We will also need to take some time to plan our next moves. We need to work out what we need to get done when we’re there. I think we need to restock and get ready for some tough missions. And we need to find a safe place for Mordin. The Normandy isn’t equipped at the moment to house a state of the art lab,” John mused, having clearly given it some thought.</p><p>“Garrus was telling me that he and Ashley had worked out what they needed to properly equip the team, so that will help. They have a list of weapons, mods and armor recommendations ready for you. And don’t forget, if it works out the way I think it will, you’ll have access to higher quality gear,” she added.</p><p>“That’s good initiative, I’m happy to see them work together,” John said, allowing surprise to filter into his voice.</p><p>“I know, me too. I was worried, but they seem to respect each other’s expertise.”</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about what you said, by the way, Red,” John said, changing the subject. She turned to give him her full attention, something in his tone telling her this was important.</p><p>“Okay,” she answered slowly, waiting for him to elaborate.</p><p>“I think we need to read Garrus in. When we reach the Citadel, we need to include Captain Anderson and Nihlus as well. You’re right, we’ll be able to strategize much better together, and in case something happens to one of us, there are more people that have the information to stop the Reapers.”</p><p>She nodded, relieved about John’s decision. The five of them knowing the details, or as much detail as she could give them, would help them be more effective. It also calmed the worry she felt at having Shepard carry everything on his shoulders alone.</p><p>“Thank you, I think it’s the right choice. I know Garrus and Captain Anderson would never betray you, and while I cannot say the same for Nihlus, as he dies so early in the game, his reputation and his behavior towards us certainly indicate we can trust him as well. And two Spectres on the case are better than one. Hopefully the clout that Nihlus has with the Council will make it easier for them to believe us about the Reapers,” she said.</p><p>“So do we wait until we’re on the Citadel and brief everyone at the same time? Or brief Garrus now, so the three of us have some time to brainstorm before we see them?” she asked him.</p><p>“I’d like some time to go over it with him first, but it depends on you, Red. It really did a number on us the first time around, and while I’m sure I won’t be as affected this time, I won’t ask you to do it if it hurts you,” he said, his concern for her written all over his face.</p><p>“Thanks John,” she said, reaching out to put her hand in his, ”I appreciate it. I think it hurt me, because it was so impactful on you personally. It will be much less so with Garrus. But I think he’ll appreciate being brought up to speed. He’s been worrying, about both of us, actually, and I think he’s frustrated at not being able to help.”</p><p>“Alright, decision made. I was just supposed to do endless admin today anyway, so let’s see if he’s available and then catch him up,” John said, and he actually managed to sound slightly enthusiastic about the idea.</p><p>“I’ll go get him,” Alyssa volunteered a bit too quickly and John started laughing.</p><p>“What?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him in a suspicious glare.</p><p>“Oh nothing, run off to Garrus, why don’t you. The two of you are getting along like a house on fire, you were very comfy yesterday at dinner.”</p><p>Alyssa turned bright red, and now John was really smirking at her, delighted about her obvious tell.</p><p>“You noticed?” she asked and he gave her such a bland look that she burst out laughing.</p><p>“Kind of hard not to, sitting across from the two of you yesterday. I’ll give you credit though, it took me some time to figure it out, you were quite circumspect.”</p><p>When she moved to let go of his hand, feeling awkward, he instead pulled her close and wrapped her into a hug.</p><p>“I wish you nothing but good luck, Red, you deserve to be happy here,” he told her earnestly. She smiled against his shoulder, warmed by the fact that he obviously cared about her.</p><p>“Though perhaps I am a little jealous,” he whispered in her ear.</p><p>“Garrus has you all revved up too?” she asked and he almost choked with laughter, his breath hot in her neck.</p><p>“Mean, Red, not what I meant and you know it,” he responded, a serious tone creeping in.</p><p>“I know. I’m very fond of you both, you know,” she confessed.</p><p>“I’ll just have to see if Garrus is up for sharing,” he whispered, sending a shiver down her spine, before pulling back and giving her a distinctly dirty look. Her heart stopped beating for a second or two at this, her blush deepening considerably.</p><p>“Ahem, we actually, well, we kind of, I mean, we talked about that,” she tried to explain lamely, getting tongue-tied.</p><p>“Talked about what?” he asked, pulling back to look at her closely. She could feel him tense up, focused on her, waiting for her to elaborate.</p><p>“Talked about me being attracted to both of you, and my feeling like an ass for not being able to choose,” she murmured.</p><p>Her face flushed, and she couldn’t look him in the eye. She was embarrassed, but like with Garrus, she knew it was important to be honest. She couldn’t chicken out now, she would regret it later.</p><p>“I’ll tell you what I told him. I’m not getting in the middle of your friendship. It’s important, will be important and it’s more important to the mission than I am. So if either of you doesn’t want to do this, that’s fine and I’ll step out and take my feelings with me. I’m not going to be responsible for adding to your burden, John, I can’t. And I won’t take away your support system and cause a rift between you and Garrus. I know you’re not there yet, but he’ll be your best friend and I’m just not risking it,” she rambled.</p><p>He just let her finish explaining and then nodded, a small smile on his face.</p><p>“Alright, I get that. How did Garrus respond?”</p><p>“By reminding me of our promise. Garrus and I promised each other to make you our priority, to make sure you would always have someone to lean on, and to make sure together that you would be alright. Apparently sharing a partner is more normal in Turian society than it is for Humans. He didn’t seem fazed or possessive, he was really sweet about it actually,” she said, her blush firmly in place.</p><p>He gave her a knowing look.</p><p>“You enlisted him to take care of me? Knowing what you know, you wanted to make sure I had support. Oh, Red, you wonderful woman, you really are amazing,” he said, emotion bleeding into his voice, again wrapping her into a hug. She felt warm all over, her affection for him only increasing. It wasn’t every day that she was called ‘amazing’ with such clear affection.</p><p>“I really want to kiss you right now,” he whispered in her ear.</p><p>She pulled back a little, so they were almost touching noses, and nodded slightly, turning her head. He didn’t waste a second pressing his lips against hers. She responded immediately, passionately, to his enthusiastic kiss. She felt herself melting into him with a small moan, which encouraged him to flit out his tongue and run it across her lower lip. She opened for him and teased his tongue with hers, deepening their kiss. Her hands were wrapped around him, and one of his hands was getting tangled in her braid, while the other one moved down to her waist.</p><p>The hand in her hair moved down to her neck, caressing her softly, and his mouth moved to follow, kissing his way down. He moved her shirt to the side, closing in on her pulse point. A fraction too late she remembered the mark Garrus had left there, caught up as she was with the wonderful sensations running through her body. When he saw it, his eyes lit up and he chuckled, giving it a quick kiss before looking up at her to see her cringe with embarrassment. She moved back and covered the bruise with her hand.</p><p>“That is fucking hot, Red, just so you know,” he almost growled. She looked at him in shock, his words not really sinking in.</p><p>“Huh?” she very articulately asked, her mouth not having caught up to her brain, which admittedly was also lagging behind some of her other senses at the moment.</p><p>“You didn’t have this yesterday morning when you left me. Trust me, I would have noticed. Which means Garrus gave it to you later. And this doesn’t come from a little make out session, unless Turians are way more bitey than I think they are,” he smirked, moving her hand and rubbing his finger over the spot on her neck. Alyssa was slowly turning red again, as she was listening to John explain.</p><p>He pulled her close, his hot breath washing over her sensitive skin, fanning her arousal and whispered in her ear. “And the thought of you getting fucked hard enough to leave a mark like that, so fucking hot, Red, damn.” His admission turned her spine to jelly. He pushed his hips into hers, letting her feel that he meant every word, hard as stone against her. She groaned and he kissed her again, not needing her to answer, or perhaps knowing she was unable to at the moment. She was feeling overwhelmed by the riptide of emotions washing over her, threatening to pull her under.</p><p>His hands were running all over her back, before dropping down to cup her ass. He pulled her closer and squeezed, eliciting a wanton moan from Alyssa. She felt herself spiraling fast and she faintly realized that if they didn’t stop now, she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to. Heat was quickly pooling between her legs, her arousal spiking at his confession and continuing from there. She would never have guessed that John would be turned on by her being with someone else, and a Turian at that. The whole situation was like a dream come true for Alyssa, who noted with some wonder that she’d been kissed more in the last three days than she’d been in the six months before that.</p><p>“Red, if we don’t stop, I’m going to take you right here. Not that I don’t want to, but it might make briefing Garrus later a bit awkward,” he told her softly, his voice low, arousal dripping from every syllable. He slowly untangled himself from her, and both of them had to catch their breath to recover from the intensity of their impromptu make out session.</p><p>“Damn, Red,” he panted and she could only nod, just as affected as he was.</p><p>“I’m gonna need a minute before I pick up Garrus,” she deadpanned.</p><p>“Let me send him a message to meet us in an hour. That’ll give us some time to get our act together, maybe grab some food. Sound like a plan?” he asked and she agreed, still trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. She was hot and her face was flushed and a look at him showed him equally shaken up. </p><p>“Going to splash some water on my face. Cold water, a lot of cold water. I’ll be back in an hour, okay?” she murmured, closing in for a quick kiss. Anything longer than that, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to leave his cabin.</p><p>***</p><p>Face flushed and her hair a mess, she walked into the bathroom, glad that no one was there to comment on her unusual appearance. Everybody on this ship was working their butt off. There were dead marines in cryo and here she was, going around making out with people. She felt like a drunk college student during spring break.</p><p>Smiling at herself in the mirror, she straightened out her braid, putting it back so she looked more like the professional she was supposed to be. After splashing some more water on her face and cleaning up, she was feeling and looking more put together than when she came in. She moved her shirt to look at the sharp bruise that Garrus had left there, remembering both the earth-shattering orgasm he had given her and the fact that it turned John on so much.</p><p>That was twice in as many days she’d devolved into a horny wet mess, with a different guy causing it each time. Thinking about it, she couldn’t remember a time when she’d been this hot and bothered. In the past, it had normally taken her a while to warm up to someone and sleep with them, alcohol being the only thing that lowered her inhibitions. But for the last few days, her sex drive had been going through the roof. She could barely control herself with Garrus, or just now, with John. Perhaps it was situational. The stakes were high and the people around her felt familiar, safe even. Her emotions had been going into overdrive, maybe her libido had just decided to join the party.</p><p>She decided to grab a quick breakfast, having forgotten about it initially in her haste to get to John. While she was eating, she sent a quick note to Tali, asking for another tech lesson that evening, which Tali was only too happy to accommodate. She’d enjoyed the first lesson, spending the evening picking up new skills. Tali was a good teacher, patient and funny and Alyssa was enjoying the time they spent together. She didn’t have siblings, but imagined that the lighthearted rapport she was building with Tali might be similar, in time.</p><p>She had also been thinking about her role on the ship. She was one of the only people on the Normandy without a military background, and they were going into dangerous situations. She knew of several occasions where the ship would be compromised and the crew would be in danger. She needed to figure out how to obtain some of the skills the professionals around her had already learned the hard way.</p><p>Making a decision, she called Ashley. Fortunately, she picked up right away.</p><p>“Hello Alyssa, how are you?” Ashley answered, some surprise in her voice evident. A pang of guilt shot through her, but she couldn’t blame the Gunnery Chief; Alyssa hadn’t exactly sought her out before. And she’d yelled at her a couple of times too.</p><p>“Hi Ashley, I was hoping I could talk to you about something, maybe ask for a favor?”</p><p>“Sure, shoot.” No preamble, just straight to the point. Alyssa liked that about her.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about not having any military experience, and limited skills to protect myself or others. I’d like to be able to at least defend myself if anything happens. I don’t like feeling useless. I was hoping you could teach me some of the basics,” she asked her.</p><p>It was quiet on the other end for a moment, Ashley apparently thinking it over.</p><p>“I think I can find the time. It’s a good idea, Alyssa, and something I hadn’t thought of. Let’s start tomorrow at 07:00, it’ll take a few days to get to the Citadel, and I don’t think there are any missions scheduled, so it’s good time to get some training in.”</p><p>“That will absolutely work. Thanks so much Ashley, I owe you one,” Alyssa replied, grateful that the other woman was willing to help her.</p><p>“Don’t mention it. You being trained helps all of us, Alyssa. See you bright and early tomorrow.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” Alyssa replied, just catching a small chuckle from Ashley before the call disconnected.</p><p>Alyssa felt good about her decision to ask Ashley for help. The gunnery chief would be tough but fair, not inclined to coddle her or go easy. Alyssa had always been hard on herself, and appreciated it when her teachers did the same thing.</p><p>***</p><p>Right on time, she entered the captain’s cabin to see Garrus and John already deep in conversation. A conversation which halted as soon as she came in. That gave her some idea about what they'd been discussing, at least.</p><p>They both turned to her with wide smiles on their faces, which she thought was a positive sign.</p><p>She didn’t miss Garrus checking her out, his eyes lingering on the spot on her neck where he knew her bruise was, now covered by her shirt. She was frozen in place, unsure of how to proceed. She felt quite comfortable with them individually, and they’d both indicated that they were fine with her being attracted to them both, but being in the same room, all of them together, she wasn’t sure what to expect.</p><p>Like he had done yesterday, Garrus resolved her silent dilemma by walking up to her and leaning in for a kiss, like it was the most natural thing in the world.</p><p>“Morning, Lys, you look great,” he greeted her, putting a hand on the back of her neck to rest their foreheads together and she felt herself relax as his warm voice washed over her.</p><p>Then John mirrored Garrus, and he kissed her too, like this was something they did every day.</p><p>She must have looked really surprised, because as she stood there, both men burst out laughing, reaching out to her to pull her into a hug, Garrus at her back and John, who had been facing her, at her front. Four arms wrapped themselves around her before she could process what was happening. When her brain finally caught up, she first kissed John, then turned her head to kiss Garrus.</p><p>“This is nice. Looks like you two have been discussing me?” she asked them both, an eyebrow arched in mock-seriousness.</p><p>“Important business requiring urgent attention,” Garrus confirmed and John nodded at him gravely.</p><p>“Care to read me in, boys? I’m assuming I have a say in this as well?” she said, leaning her head back against Garrus' chest, while looking at John.</p><p>“Red, I think you should just let the men handle it, and we’ll call you when we need you,” John deadpanned. It was completely quiet for a full beat before all three of them burst out laughing, John resting his head in her neck, his shoulders shaking with laughter. There was almost no space between any of them, and Alyssa felt wonderful, somehow light as air.</p><p>“Do you need more time to work out a custody schedule?” she joked, setting them off for another round of laughter. “Horrible boys, whatever will I do with you?” she huffed, grinning madly.</p><p>“Whatever you want, Red. I think I speak for both of us when I say that we will do whatever you want,” John promised her, holding eye contact so she could see he was serious. She could clearly read the desire in his heated look, and felt a flash of arousal move through her. With great difficulty, she tore her gaze away from his and turned to face Garrus. He gave her a bright smile, before touching their foreheads together.</p><p>“What he said,” he assured her, kissing her again. Their easy acceptance, their friendship, their affection for her made her feel protected, wrapped up in a loving cocoon.</p><p>“Thank you both. I was so afraid I’d messed everything up. I’ve been all over the place this week. You have both been wonderful, I’m very lucky,” she told them, their smiles reflecting her own.</p><p>“With the important business out of the way, shall we discuss the war?” John quipped and let her go. He gestured for them to sit at the table, like Alyssa and John had earlier in the week.</p><p>Once they were all situated, Alyssa in between both men, John didn’t waste any time diving into the matter at hand. She recognized his ‘commander’ voice as soon as he started talking.</p><p>“I think you know Alyssa told me about what was going to happen with the Reapers earlier this week. I’m afraid I didn’t take it well, though it was not the fault of the messenger,” he said, giving her a wink before continuing.</p><p>“It’s clear to me that I shouldn’t do this alone. Reading more people in poses an inherent risk, but as Alyssa has pointed out, you are the logical choice. Once we get to the Citadel, we’ll meet up with Nihlus and Captain Anderson and loop them in as well. If anything happens to me,” and here he paused to squeeze Alyssa’s hand before resuming, “it’s important that more people are in place to take over and continue the fight.”</p><p>Garrus nodded. “Thanks, Commander, for your trust. I’ll help as much as I can.” </p><p>Looking over at Alyssa, John gestured for her to proceed and she nodded in agreement. She explained everything to Garrus, following much the same logic as she had done with John. She started with the short term targets and objectives that lead to the defeat of Sovereign, and then continued with the Reapers' attack plan and how to prevent it. As John had been, Garrus was absolutely shocked by the fact that the Citadel was a mass relay connected to dark space.</p><p>“I never thought - those damn Keepers, I never thought they would do anything nefarious. How did we not question this? It seems so obvious in hindsight, a space station, perfectly ready to be inhabited, don’t ask how it works, it just does. It’s the perfect trap. Bastards!” Garrus exclaimed, shaking his head. </p><p>“Right there with you, big guy,” Alyssa easily agreed with him before continuing her story.</p><p>She told him of the Collectors showing up out of the blue, destroying the Normandy and, after a small nod from John, also told him about John dying. Garrus let out a heavy sigh, before looking at the two of them in turn.</p><p>“Spirits, now I know why you looked like hell, Shepard, what a fucking nightmare,” he said, looking horrified. “And you’ve been keeping this to yourself all this time, Lys. I’m sorry you’ve had to carry this alone. I’m glad that we can share this burden with you,” he told her, running his hand up and down her back, soothing her. She loved the gesture and the sentiment behind it. Garrus was always so thoughtful. She reached out to cup his face, stroking his mandible, wanting to show him how much she appreciated him. He leaned into her hand, enjoying her caress, pleased humming reverberating through him.</p><p>“I’m relieved to be able to share it with you. It helps knowing it’s not just on my shoulders anymore, and like I told John, I’m hoping we can come up with ways to alleviate the worst outcomes and save lives. John’s first and foremost.” She reached out to grab John’s hand, the image of him spiraling in space still vivid in her mind.</p><p>“But let me tell you the rest, so you both know at least the big stuff.”</p><p>“Of course, I’ll try not to interrupt,” Garrus promised her. She dropped her hand from his mandible, and kept her other hand in John’s. Taking a deep breath, she continued telling him about the Collectors, including the bombshell that they are repurposed Protheans, which made Garrus look physically ill. And about Cerberus’ role in resurrecting John and building a new Normandy, equipping it with state of the art tech and a new crew.</p><p>When she told him that he would immediately offer to join Shepard’s crew upon seeing him alive, he smiled, before turning thoughtful.</p><p>“Wait, where was I? I mean, I obviously couldn’t stay without Shepard or the Normandy, did I just go back to C-Sec?” He asked her, his intense gaze sweeping over her face looking for clues.</p><p>She could lie to him, tell him that he went back to C-Sec and was quietly working away at his career there, hoping to one day make Executor. But she couldn’t do that. For one thing, she was pretty sure he could read her well enough to know she was lying. And she didn’t want to lie to him or John. That made evading his question her only option. There was just no way she could tell him about Omega and losing his crew, let alone about taking a rocket to the face.</p><p>“If we keep John alive, it will be irrelevant,” she answered, hoping he would accept that explanation and not push. That turned out to be wishful thinking quickly, as the detective in him stepped up to the plate.</p><p>“Hmm, the fact you don’t want to tell me means it’s bad,” he mused, looking at her sharply.</p><p>She reached over to hold his hand, looking him in the eye as she explained: “Don’t make me answer, please. It’s a future that may not even happen and I don’t want you worrying about it when you don’t need to. Please trust me,” she almost begged.</p><p>She could see the internal struggle play out on his face, his need to know fighting with his impulse to trust her judgment.</p><p>“I promise that if we fail completely to keep John safe and the worst happens, I will tell you what to expect. But that’s all I’m willing to say. It’s not worth it, Garrus, I swear.”</p><p>Begrudgingly he nodded, giving in to her request.</p><p>“Fine, I just don’t like not knowing things,” he protested, but it was a perfunctory grumble. He had already resigned himself to not getting the answer.</p><p>“Thank you. I know it goes against your nature, big guy. And I promise to tell you everything pertinent. This just isn’t. Not right now,” she said, squeezing his hand in reassurance.</p><p>“So with a new ship and a mostly new crew, John moves to destroy the Collector base and stop the Reapers from entering the galaxy,” she continued.</p><p>She then told them all about the horrible incident with the Batarian colony, and how John was remanded into Alliance custody, while the Normandy SR-2 was impounded. Next was the explanation of how the actual war started, with Reapers arriving in huge numbers, intent on destroying Earth. How Palavan was next, with the troops retreating to Menae fighting a desperate battle for survival, and failing. About John’s mission to unite the races to fight against the Reapers to the discovery and construction of the Crucible. She explained the effect of the Reaper indoctrination, and Cerberus’ role in the sabotage and final battle to get to the Citadel.</p><p>He looked increasingly desperate, breathing hard, while she kept providing him with more facts. When she mentioned Palavan, he looked up sharply, worry etched in his face, his sub-vocals letting out a painful keen, clearly in distress. Before he had to ask, she reassured him.</p><p>“Your family makes it off Palavan, Garrus. Solana breaks her leg, but she’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Thank you,” he said, letting out a breath. “I should check in with them more, maybe take a trip to Palavan to see them. It’s been a while,” he confessed.</p><p>“You really should. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t,” she replied, hoping her encouragement would work.</p><p>“How bad is it? The destruction of Palavan, of Earth?” he asked her.</p><p>Sticking to her previous thought of not lying to him, and not wanting to sugarcoat it, she answered honestly.</p><p>“Devastating. Lives lost number in the billions, scattered groups of refugees trying to survive, abandoned, without resources or protection, wholesale planetary destruction. None of us have ever seen anything like it. I’m sorry,” she admitted as she watched him absorb the information.</p><p>“Ancestor’s ass,” he swore, his fists flexing in frustration. He was emitting a distressed keen, right at the upper register of her hearing, and she tried to comfort him, catching one of his fists and prying it open to put her hand in his. Even though the number of fingers was mismatched, they fit together naturally. He automatically closed his hand, his palm warm against hers.</p><p>“You’re doing better than I did, Garrus. This is difficult to hear, no doubt about it,” John tried to comfort him and Garrus gave him a nod.</p><p>“I’ll keep going, okay, I know it’s hard, but you need to know. The way we win is by utilizing the Crucible,” she explained, going into detail on the available options and what the fallout would be. Garrus, like John had been, was aghast considering what the impact on John personally would be.</p><p>“Lys, this sounds like a complete nightmare. John, how do we choose any of those options, if they lead to your death?” Garrus sounded defeated, overwhelmed by the weight of the future.</p><p>“Big guy, I know you’re a pessimist by nature, just so that you’ll sometimes be pleasantly surprised, but this is what would have happened if I wasn’t here to help. With what I know, we can hopefully make a lot of it better. Fewer deaths, a faster end to the war, better options. Don’t go all sourpuss on us now, okay?” she told him, which earned her a chuckle from John and a heavy nod from Garrus.</p><p>“So are there good things that happen too, then? Or is it all doom and gloom?” Garrus prompted her into taking things in a different direction.</p><p>She thought about how to answer that, racking her brain, looking for the good, like her mother had taught her.</p><p>“There’s good stuff there was well. John becomes the first Human Spectre, and is later declared the Savior of the Citadel after Saren and Sovereign are defeated,” she tells them, enjoying John wincing at the title of Savior, which caused Alyssa and Garrus to chuckle at his obvious discomfort.</p><p>“And the crew we have now will develop and grow and become powerhouses for their species. Tali makes it to Admiral, Liara becomes the new Shadow Broker, Wrex is able to unite the Krogan on Tuchanka and works to cure the Genophage. Kaiden or Ashley rises to the rank of Spectre. And in the fight against the Collectors, aligned with Cerberus, the Normandy SR-2 will have a full team that will fight alongside you and John. They’ll be loyal allies, some become friends even, and they’ll continue helping, right until the end,” she looked at them while they absorbed the information, some of which John already knew. Both had smiles on their faces and she left them picturing their team mates for a minute before proceeding.</p><p>“And then you manage to find and deploy a cure for the Genophage, ending millennia of Krogan suffering, find out the truth behind the Geth – Quarian war and broker peace between them. We see Quarians set foot on Rannoch, and guys, I promise, there won’t be a dry eye in the house. The Krogan come to help the Turians beat back Reapers from Palavan, and in turn the Turian fleet will help Earth.”</p><p>Both of them watched her in awe, wonder in their eyes at what she was telling them. This is what they needed to know to keep the faith and see the light at the end of the tunnel, and she could kick herself for not telling John this earlier. </p><p>“And we find the last living Prothean, ally with a Rachni Queen and find the Leviathan that created the Reapers. We get to travel the galaxy, meet and help all kinds of different people, and kill the bad guys. Don’t tell me that doesn’t sound like a cool way to spend the next few years,” she enthused.</p><p>She had to laugh at the look of outright disbelief on Garrus’ face.</p><p>“A Prothean? You’re joking?” he stammered and John laughed.</p><p>“What I said as well,” he commented dryly.</p><p>“Yep, with an attitude like you wouldn’t believe, at once proud, angry and sad, the last of his race. Hell of a fighter though, and more than willing to help us kill Reapers. He likes talking to you though, Garrus, as long as it pertains to war.”</p><p>“That is amazing. I look forward to having a Prothean onboard.”</p><p>“Not as much as Liara, I’m sure,” she quipped, remembering how Liara wouldn’t stop pestering Javik with questions.</p><p>“Thanks for this, Alyssa, knowing it’s not all bad helps. I can’t honestly say I’m looking forward to it, but it’s good to know there are some bright spots as well,” Garrus told her.</p><p>“I think most of the enjoyment comes from having friends on board, the calm moments between the missions. As well as being able to help people when we can,” she commented, thinking about what made her go back to the games time and time again. It was absolutely the people and their interactions that made it fun and familiar.</p><p>John had been quiet, preferring to let Alyssa do most of the talking, but now he piped up to ask: “Can you tell us about the crew?”</p><p>She nodded, a big smile appearing on her face.</p><p>“Sure thing. So for the fight against the Collectors, we’ll have a different crew than later on, when the Reapers actually attack in force and the war starts. I’ll focus on the SR-2 Collector crew first. They both nodded, their focus on her.</p><p>“Nihlus has tracked down one of them already, professor Mordin Solus, former Special Tasks Group. Salarian obviously. He’s a genius, specialized in genetics. He helps synthesize a cure to counteract whatever the Collectors are using to paralyze the colonists. Talks a mile a minute and is responsible for upgrades to our armor, weapons and even the Normandy itself. Eventually, he’s able to find a cure for the Genophage, but he dies deploying it. I’m hoping we can prevent that from happening too. Man’s a hero.”</p><p>“Good idea to have Nihlus looking for him now, then, who knows how much he’ll be able to help if he’s involved sooner,” Garrus complimented her. She smiled and then shrugged modestly.</p><p>“I’ve been known to have them. There are two Cerberus operatives in the team as well because Cerberus brings John back and builds the Normandy SR-2. The first one is the project lead that oversaw John’s resurrection. Miranda Lawson, Human, genetically enhanced, prances around like she’s the hottest thing you’ll ever see. Her tact suit looks poured on, perfection in heels. Smart, loyal to the Illusive Man and a powerful biotic. Bitchy fucking attitude at first though, definitely hard to like. You eventually win her over, she’ll defer to your judgment over the Illusive Man’s,” she looked at John, smiling at him.</p><p>He raised an eyebrow at her and she smirked.</p><p>“Not jealous, just my observations,” she added defensively and he laughed at her, Garrus joining in as well.</p><p>“Sure, let’s go with that,” John teased her.</p><p>“Anyway,” she emphasized, giving him a pointed look which made him hide his snort behind his hand, “the second Cerberus operative is Jacob Taylor, Human, former Alliance, disillusioned with the way the Council downplays the Reaper threat and paints you as delusional after your death. He’s a capable soldier, and a biotic as well. He has no problems following your lead and isn’t a xenophobe,” she explained succinctly.</p><p>John nodded.</p><p>“Are there more?” he asked.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s a real party, big team this time around. We’ve got the handsome Turian here,” which caused Garrus to chuckle. “Tali declines initially, but joins you later. Liara can’t join in the fight against the Collectors, but once they’re defeated and the war starts, she’ll join us as well, working as the Shadow Broker from the Normandy.”</p><p>They were listening with rapt attention, John motioning for her to continue.</p><p>“Wrex is otherwise occupied on Tuchanka, but we find a tank-bred Krogan named Grunt, who is damn near indestructible and he’ll join us for the fight against the Collectors.” John was shaking his head and Garrus was laughing out loud.</p><p>“Maybe tank-bred Krogan don’t snore as loudly and I might actually get some sleep,” he joked, lightening the mood in the room.</p><p>“After Virmire, only Kaiden or Ashley is left, and they remain with the Alliance, giving you grief over siding with Cerberus and accusing you of being a traitor. It’s nasty business, really, very infuriating. Garrus is willing to join a pro-human organization to support you, but they act as if you’re dirt found under their shoe. They keep it up for a while too, not joining at all in the fight against the Collectors, and only reluctantly joining when the Reapers attack,” she told them, her aggravation at their lack of faith in John evident.</p><p>“Let’s not organize a lynch mob for them just yet, Red, this might be one of those things we can influence, right?” John tempered her. She sighed, taking a deep breath in and out before proceeding.</p><p>“You’re right of course, sorry. Moving on," she continued with an apologetic smile. "We also recruit a Human master thief named Kasumi Goto, who can hack her way in and out of anything. There’s a deadly, slightly insane Human biotic named Jack, who’ll make things interesting. She’s got a bone to pick with Cerberus, so hopefully we’ll be able to convince her to join us.”</p><p>“Only slightly insane?” Garrus asked her dryly.</p><p>“Well, she sure scares me. She mellows out over time, but she’s absolutely unstable when we first meet,” Alyssa replied honestly.</p><p>“Don’t worry, honey, I’ll protect you from the big bad biotic,” Garrus joked, amusement clear in his voice and expression. In response, Alyssa playfully punched him on the shoulder.</p><p>“Next up is a Human mercenary named Zaeed Massani. I’m not that partial to him, but the more the merrier, I guess. He’s ruthless, but usually does as he’s told," she said with a shrug. </p><p>"Then we’ve got a master assassin, a Drell named Thane Krios. Now him, I am partial to,” she confessed, giving Garrus a big smile. John let out a huge snort, before they both laughed out loud.</p><p>“He’s something else entirely, all calm efficiency and deadly accuracy. Brilliant with a sniper rifle. Very spiritual, with an eidetic memory that surpasses mine. He’s sick though, Kepral’s Syndrome, and wants to do some good before he dies.”</p><p>“Glossing over your obvious infatuation with a Drell assassin, that’s a lot of people, Red, damn,” John said. “Are we adding a wing to the Normandy?”</p><p>“Hang on, we are not glossing over anything here. Are you telling me I’m not the only sniper for you?” Garrus asked her, amusement in his voice, teasing her.</p><p>“I don’t know, big guy, there’s just something about a strong man with a big gun,” she teased him right back, John laughing at the both of them.</p><p>“We’re going to run out of space if we start taking in sniper strays for you to admire, Red,” John joked.</p><p>“I’m not done, you’ll recruit more people,” she told him with an easy smile. He was shaking his head, clearly amused by the size of the team.</p><p>“You’ll also pick up an Asari Justicar called Samara, who’s a thousand years old and the most powerful biotic any of us will ever meet. She’s got a strict code of ethics and will pledge herself to our cause. She spends her time on the ship mostly meditating. And the final crew member, at least when it comes to fighting the Collectors, is Legion. He’s a Geth unit,” she said, pausing after dropping that particular bombshell.</p><p>“He’s a what now?! How is that possible?” John shot forward in his chair and looked absolutely gobsmacked. He was looking at Garrus, who wore an equally surprised expression before they both turned to her, expecting an explanation.</p><p>“Thought you might like that,” she chuckled.</p><p>“There are apparently two distinct streams of thought in the Geth collective, one that believes the Reapers are gods and one that opposes that line of thinking and wants to align against the Reapers, alongside the organics. Legion is one of the latter persuasion.”</p><p>“That sounds amazing, Red.”</p><p>Garrus too, looked absolutely fascinated at the motley crew of people that become part of the Normandy fighting family.</p><p>“You’re lucky, the team is great, they believe in the mission and they believe in you, John,” she assured him.</p><p>“And then when the war starts in earnest, you take the SR-2 with the Alliance’s blessing and have a new team configuration, a much smaller one, although you do meet up with a lot of our former team mates.”</p><p>“Thanks for telling us all this, Lys. Until just now, I had no idea how much info you were keeping in that head of yours, no doubt trying to figure out the best way to keep us safe and end the war as soon as possible,” Garrus said, his warm, smooth voice wrapping around her and making her feel special.</p><p>“We’ll handle mission specific details later, as they come up, I think, there’s really no reason to go into that much detail right now,” she offered. Both John and Garrus nodded at this, and she couldn’t help but laugh at how many times she’d now seen them react the same way. They were both such consummate soldiers, and even though their training had been different, they had a similar way of looking at the world around them.</p><p>“It will take a few more days to reach the Citadel, so I suggest we take some time to figure out what we can do with the professor, and I’d like a refresher on the stuff we need to complete on the Citadel as well,” John told them.</p><p>“I also think we should take advantage of Captain Anderson’s time to discuss upgrading the Normandy. I know it’s brand new, but upgrading it or building a new one with additional weapons and shielding, optimizing the design, will go a long way to making me feel safer about running into the Collectors,” Alyssa said.</p><p>John and Garrus looked pensive, John especially turning quiet and sad, before agreeing with her.</p><p>“I have no idea how long it takes to build or upgrade a space ship, but I suggest we get started on that and make it a priority,” she added.</p><p>“You know, neither do I. But I’d also like some additional shielding between me and a Collector beam. I have no intention of getting spaced,” John added vehemently. Garrus and Alyssa couldn’t disagree with the sentiment one bit.</p><p>“I think that’s enough future talk for today, Red, don’t you agree?” John asked and Alyssa nodded.</p><p>She wasn’t feeling as drained as she had been when she’d first told John, but still, she couldn’t help but try to manage Garrus’ and John’s feelings when she told them bad news, and their pain made her hurt as well.</p><p>“Agreed. It’s probably best to approach this in pieces anyway. Too much info at once doesn’t help decision making, at least in my opinion,” Alyssa said.</p><p>“Good, then the two of you can get out of here, and I can fill my afternoon with requisition forms and messages. Which reminds me, Garrus, I heard you and Ashley came up with a list to upgrade our weapons and armor?” John asked.</p><p>“We did, we’ll finalize it this afternoon and make sure you get it, Shepard,” he confirmed.</p><p>“Thanks, I appreciate the initiative, Garrus, good work,” John complimented him easily and Garrus glowed at receiving praise from his commanding officer. It was so very Turian of him and absolutely adorable. Alyssa couldn’t help but smile, the exchange between them warming her.</p><p>“Alright then, I’m off. I’ll see you both later,” Alyssa said, standing up and turning to move to the door. Before she could actually reach the door however, both men stood up and flanked her. </p><p>“Oh no you don’t, Red. Come over here,” John growled, pulling her into his personal space and caressing her jaw before kissing her again. It was deep and sensual and a promise of things to come. It made her knees weak and a small groan escaped her as she returned his kiss, running her hand across his chest. She heard Garrus emit a deep rumble behind her and then felt his hands on her hips, closing in behind her.</p><p>John released her, eliciting another moan at the sudden loss of contact, before Garrus turned her quickly, making her head spin, and touched her chin, tilting her head up so she could kiss him too. He was certainly getting the hang of this kissing thing. She slid her hand up to his mandible, caressing it, moving slowly to the tip before giving it a small tickle and going up to his fringe to repeat the gesture. He moaned into her mouth, and his sub-vocals were humming away happily, not encumbered by the fact that there was an audience, or that she’d just been kissing John.</p><p>She broke away from their kiss reluctantly, vaguely aware that every time Garrus touched her, electricity tingled its way up and down her body and made her skin sing.</p><p>“Goodbye boys, and thank you,” she said, giving both a quick hug before leaving, a huge smile plastered on her face. It was a wonderful feeling to be wanted by the two of them and she was realizing that this could escalate rather quickly. </p><p>Garrus made her heart flutter every time she heard his voice. Big, strong and handsome, it seemed like every cell in her body was screaming out for him. He showed up in her dreams even, that had never happened to her before.<br/>
And John was funny, and nice, and easy on the eyes. She felt herself instinctively drawn to him, an intense desire to keep him safe, wrap him in her arms and never let go. She felt protective of him, and admired the graceful way he moved, the absolute masculinity of him.<br/>
The fact that they didn’t seem jealous of each other and had apparently happily agreed to both date her at the same time was absolutely unexpected. She had thought that she would be causing one or both of them pain, or trigger some sort of contest, but the way they had acted just now, so relaxed and, well, normal, was fantastic. They didn’t make her feel like a freak, or a deviant for wanting them both. They just accepted that this was how she felt, and went along with it.</p><p>As she wandered out to the mess hall, she was wondering what she had done in a previous life to be this fortunate now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Reactions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa can't believe her good fortune now that Shepard and Garrus both want to date her, Chakwas has some strange news, the team catches a break with Saren and Joker stumbles upon a secret. Tali addresses her sleeping problem.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Walking into the mess hall with a smile on her face as she thought about the kisses she'd just received from John and Garrus, she was pulled from her musings when someone called out to her.</p><p>“Oh hey, Alyssa, how are you?” A deep voice asked her and she turned to figure out who it was. Finally spotting Kaiden in the corner, she smiled at him and made her way over.</p><p>“Hey Kaiden, how are you?” she greeted him, making her way into the kitchen area for a coffee.</p><p>“You know, trying to keep busy. Yesterday was rough, but I’m glad we were able to recover the bodies. Their families deserve to have them back. It was good of Shepard to take Ashley and I along. I know he needs to evaluate our new team members, but I appreciate him taking us instead. At least for this mission,” Kaiden answered.</p><p>Alyssa could only nod. She had felt the same sense of duty and pride from the crew, and while she understood it, she wasn’t a soldier herself. She was sure that made a difference. While she served her country in her job at the CIA, she wasn’t a field agent, and therefore not really in danger. Without parents or siblings, she’d not spent a lot of time worrying about the fallout if anything were to happen to her. Having a job that carried a real risk of dying changed your perspective, she supposed.</p><p>Focusing on Kaiden, she replied: “I know. I think Shepard knows how important this was for both of you, and he felt the same himself, I’m sure. Even if it was too late to save them, it’s good to be able to bring them home.”</p><p>“Agreed. I noticed you’ve been spending time with Shepard, the two of you locked away for hours at a time. Bringing him up to speed on what you know?” he asked her.</p><p>“Yes, we have a few days before we get to the Citadel and it seems like a good time to start explaining things. There are decisions that need to be made, after all,” she answered, not wanting or able to be more specific, as they were still out in the mess hall.</p><p>“I understand, Alyssa. Say no more. Well, I should get going, I’ve got an exercise room booked for biotics training this afternoon.”</p><p>They said their goodbyes and as she was about to leave, she heard the med bay door open and doctor Chakwas call her, gesturing for her to come in, which she did, still cradling her coffee in her hand. </p><p>“Hey doc, everything alright?” Alyssa asked as she got settled in the chair Chakwas had offered her.</p><p>“I’ll jump right in, Alyssa. I came across some unusual results as I was running your allergy panel,” she told her. Alyssa was watching her closely, but Chakwas’ professional demeanor was firmly in place, so she wasn’t getting a lot of info from her non-verbal cues.</p><p>“Unusual how?” Alyssa asked, and she couldn’t mask the worried tone in her voice. ‘Unusual’ was not something you wanted your doctor to say. It was unlikely to be something good.</p><p>“That’s the thing, I’m not exactly sure. I’d like to run more tests in fact. Your blood reacts to dextro amino acids in an unexpected way, and I cannot figure out yet what the impact is,” Doctor Chakwas explained, sounding uncertain.</p><p>“Well, that doesn’t sound ominous at all. What do you need?” she asked, trying not to panic.</p><p>“Some more blood, to start. But also, I need to ask you about any reactions you’ve been having to dextro fluids. It’s a tad invasive, I realize, but I’d rather be on the safe side and make sure you don’t have an adverse reaction,” Chakwas told her.</p><p>Alyssa took a deep breath, unsure of what to think. If Chakwas couldn’t figure it out, what did that mean for her budding relationship with Garrus?</p><p>“Whatever you need, Doc. Can we do it now?” Alyssa answered, hoping that if she got on with it right now, she wouldn’t have a lot of time to think about it and worry.</p><p>Doctor Chakwas grabbed her datapad and started typing away before she settled down in a chair opposite Alyssa and turned to make eye contact. </p><p>“Yes, that’s why I called you in. Let’s get started then. First question, have you been exposed to any dextro based body fluids?”</p><p>Instantly, she knew she was not going to get through this without turning beet red and she was actually a little glad to be doing this herself and not have Garrus with her. She would have to explain it to him later and hope he wouldn't be bothered by her sharing intimate details, even if it was for a clear medical purpose.</p><p>“Yes. Saliva. Both eh, on my body and through kissing. Is that what you mean?” she told Chakwas, feeling incredibly awkward. Chakwas just nodded and made notes.</p><p>“Any physical reactions, like a rash or trouble breathing?” Chakwas continued.</p><p>She’d certainly had some trouble breathing, but she didn’t think that’s what the doc meant. Instead, she answered: “No rash, or reaction of any kind that I would classify as allergic, I don’t think.”</p><p>Nodding, Chakwas made more notes on her pad before asking the next question. “Any contact with other bodily fluids?”</p><p>She tried not to squirm in her seat, but being asked these kinds of questions was embarrassing. How was she going to look the doc in the eyes after this? She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down by reminding herself that the doc was a professional and this was likely routine for her.</p><p>“No, we used a condom specifically to avoid that kind of contact, like you suggested.”</p><p>She focused on her breathing and on trying to get rid of the red flush on her face. She was a grown woman, Chakwas was a doctor, and she was being ridiculous. She wasn’t embarrassed about being with Garrus. She needed to get a grip. Feeling slightly calmer, and more in control, she waited for the next questions.</p><p>“Do you have any wounds that would have allowed dextro fluids to enter your blood stream?”</p><p>Alyssa looked at her, eyebrow raised, silently asking her to clarify.</p><p>“What I mean is, plainly put, biting and scratching is part of normal intercourse for Turians. And it’s a good way to introduce either saliva or other fluids into the body.”</p><p>“Nothing that broke the skin. I have a bruise here,” she said, moving her shirt to show Chakwas. The doctor inspected it closely, before nodding.</p><p>“Indeed, the skin was not pierced.” She appreciated the doctor's professional tone as the older woman made more notes on the datapad.</p><p>“Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary since you were first exposed to dextro fluids?”</p><p>She thought about it carefully before answering. “I need to be specific about how I explain this,” she started, doctor Chakwas focusing on her. “I’m not sure if it’s related, but it’s something I noticed recently. When we touch, or kiss, it’s like my skin starts humming, kind of like low-key electricity. Not in a bad way at all, quite pleasant in fact. I’ve never had that with anyone before. I thought it was just, you know, general arousal.”</p><p>Chakwas, perhaps sensing this wasn’t all of it, nodded encouragingly and motioned for her to continue.</p><p>“And I’ve definitely noticed an uptick in my libido, but I put it down to undergoing such a change of circumstances. I’ve been more emotional in general, and I thought it was due to my increased stress levels. You know, like the nightmares and adjusting to being here, and worrying about how best to help Shepard.”</p><p>“Not an unreasonable assumption at all, my dear. We can’t be certain any of this is related. I can only tell you that just based on the blood work, I haven’t seen a reaction like it. Whether or not it’s a result of how you came to be here, and whether that somehow changed you in a way I haven’t spotted yet, I don’t know. We’ll have to investigate a bit further to see if we can solve the puzzle,” the doctor explained, her tone soothing and thoughtful.</p><p>“So in the meantime, what do I do? Can we continue to use the condoms, is it safe?” Alyssa asked, slight trepidation creeping in. She really didn’t want to stop exploring with Garrus.</p><p>“That should be fine, you’re not experiencing any adverse reactions. I’d suggest to keep an eye on what you described to see if it develops further. I would caution you against forsaking protection, as I said, you’re not in the clear,” she added, giving Alyssa a sharp look to reiterate her point.</p><p>“Understood, doc. Thanks for being so thorough. On another note, if you’ve got time later, I may bring Tali in. She wants to talk to you about something, but she’s a bit nervous about going to a Human doctor. Would that be alright?” Alyssa asked, remembering last night’s conversation with Tali about her trouble sleeping.</p><p>“That’s fine, Alyssa. I’ve been reading up on Quarians, with their compromised immune systems, it’s only a matter of time before she ends up in med bay and I’d rather be prepared. It’s kind of you to help her,” Chakwas said approvingly.</p><p>After that, it was just a matter of drawing yet more blood and then she was free to leave and continue her day. She knew Garrus would be busy with Ashley, John was cooped up in his cabin, Kaiden was training his biotics. She thought about going downstairs to exercise, but decided against it, with tomorrow’s session with Ashley in mind. She also didn’t feel like being alone however, so her room wasn’t that appealing either. Making up her mind, she sauntered over to the kitchen area and grabbed some drinks and snacks for two, before making her way over to the cockpit. Time with Joker would do her good.</p><p>***</p><p>“Holy crip, it’s a crapple,” Alyssa called out as she entered the cockpit, laughing at her own joke. It was one of her favorite Family Guy jokes, uttered when Peter first meets Joe, his handicapped neighbor.</p><p>Joker turned his chair, a confused look on his face, but clearly glad to see her, especially when she came bearing drinks and snacks.</p><p>“Oh look, my favorite fossil, sit your bony ass down, Cleo,” Joker responded with lightning speed.</p><p>“My ass is not bony, thank you very much,” she chided him as she plunked herself down in the co-pilot seat and handed him a drink and a chocolate bar.</p><p>“Here, have a snack, low blood sugar is a bitch.” He immediately tore open the wrapper and devoured the whole thing before giving her a big smile.</p><p>“You eat like a pig, you know that,” she chided him and he of course had to prove her right by sticking out his tongue, still covered in chocolate debris.</p><p>“Yeez, don’t make me write to your mother,” she scolded without heat and he grinned at her, completely unapologetic.</p><p>When he’d finished eating, he turned to her to ask her how she was doing.</p><p>“I’ve had a tough few days, I’ve been updating Shepard on, well, you know.” He nodded and waited for her to continue.</p><p>“I’ve had to tell him some horrible things, Joker,” she said, sadly shaking her head. “It hurt -, I mean, it really fucking sucked. We both had nightmares that night. I woke up screaming. Which is weird, right, because I already knew all of that stuff. But telling him about it was brutal. Being here with you makes it real, or made me see the stakes, I guess. I didn’t even realize there was a difference in how I felt about it until I was telling him.”</p><p>“You did what you had to, Alyssa. He needs to know, even if it hurts, maybe especially if it hurts. You did the right thing,” he comforted her, patting her on the leg sympathetically.</p><p>“Thanks, Joker. You’re good at this you know, I mean, atrocious table manners, but supportive friend. Who knew?” she said as she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, don’t spread it around, I’m not looking for more friends, okay, it’ll get too crowded in here,” he told her, but his smile told her he appreciated the compliment.</p><p>“So, what’s new with you?” she asked as she took the last bite of her own snack.</p><p>“You have great timing actually, I was just about to call the commander. The cameras we left at the dig site on Therum were just activated. They’re in motion detection mode to evade standard ship sensors. I’m going to patch them through to the comms room, so we can see what we see,” he explained.</p><p>“Oh my god, we beat them by a few days, then, if it is Saren’s Geth,” Alyssa exclaimed.</p><p>“Hold your horses, I’ve seen a few of these type of things, some wildlife could have just wandered in and set off the cameras,” he cautioned her.</p><p>He touched some controls and before long, she heard John’s voice come over the comms. Joker told him what was going on and suggested he head to the comms room, which John agreed to before hanging up. Two seconds later, her omni-tool pinged and Joker gave her a smirk.</p><p>“Ten credits says I know who that is,” he smiled at her as she shook her head.</p><p>“Not sure I even have money, Joker, and the odds on this one are not in my favor,” she laughed, before answering.</p><p>“Hey Red, meet me in the comms room, please,” John asked her.</p><p>“Sure thing, boss man,” she told him, sticking her tongue out to Joker.</p><p>“Real mature, Cleo, I’m telling Shepard about how you treat me, you know,” he quipped.</p><p>“How I treat you? Didn’t I just bring you drinks and snacks? Honestly, you’re so ungrateful, I’m telling Shepard about how <i>you </i>treat <i>me</i>,” she said, getting up to join John.</p><p>“Guys, you realize I’m still here, right?” a slightly miffed voice piped up from the comms. Alyssa and Joker looked at each other before bursting out laughing, having completely forgotten that John was still on the line.</p><p>“Red, stop acting like a seven-year-old and get up here. Joker, say thank you for the food and set up the video streams. Honestly guys, I’m not running a daycare center,” John’s dry response came over the omni-tool, sounding exasperated by their antics.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” they chorused, before Alyssa hung up. They were both still laughing as she leaned over him to give him a peck on the cheek.</p><p>“See you later, buddy.”</p><p>“Thanks for the snacks, mom.”</p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa joined John in the comms room, and gave him a hug when she reached him.</p><p>“Sorry about just now, I needed some levity, and Joker’s a good source. It wasn’t very professional,” she apologized, but he waived her off.</p><p>“No worries, I was in a bad mood. Paperwork isn’t my favorite part of the job, and I’m nursing a headache,” he told her, rubbing his temples irritably.</p><p>“Here, let me,” she offered, guiding him to a chair and standing behind him to massage his temples slowly. He patted her hand and murmured ‘thanks’ before instructing Joker to cue up the live feeds. Multiple camera angles came on the screen then, from the entrance of the dig site and from the interior. Alyssa switched her hands from his temples to his shoulders, finding knots and massaging them away, hoping to ease his headache.</p><p>“Wait, is that – Joker, please tell me we are recording this, right?” John asked, shooting forward in his chair.</p><p>“Absolutely Commander, we’re capturing all of it,” Joker immediately responded.</p><p>Alyssa took a good look at the screen and sucked in a breath. There, clearly visible on the screen, was Saren, striding into the dig site with the massive Krogan she’d warned the team about and a full complement of Geth.</p><p>“Do the cameras capture audio as well?” she asked John and he nodded, focused on the footage on screen.</p><p>“Joker, enhance audio, I want to hear whatever they say,” he ordered.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” came the tinny reply through the speaker.</p><p>They both watched as the Geth spread out to clear the area, Saren standing near the entrance with the Krogan. She could tell he was getting impatient, not expecting the site to be devoid of people.</p><p>“Where is she, dammit? This is the only active Prothean dig site in this system. She has to be here. We need T’Soni. We need to find the Conduit. Sovereign demands it,” Saren was saying. They could see him pacing up and down, rubbing his head in irritation, or perhaps pain, venting his frustrations on the Krogan, who stood impassively watching the Geth complete their search.</p><p>“I swear, if Benezia had a hand in this, I’ll space her myself. I don’t care if it is her daughter, we cannot fail Sovereign,” Saren continued to grouse. More angry pacing, and Alyssa fancied she could just hear him growling as well.</p><p>John was glued to the screen, fascinated by this close-up look at his enemy. They could see one of the Geth approaching Saren and the Krogan.</p><p>“No life forms detected. Site scan completed. Active camera surveillance detected, standard Alliance models. Dig site abandoned four days ago,” the Geth unit droned in its monotonous voice.</p><p>“Shepard,” they heard Saren growl, as he looked around and shot the camera nearest to him. Several seconds later, all the feeds were cut.</p><p>John turned to look at her, she still had her hands on his shoulders, having completely forgotten about the massage. They were both shocked, before John shook himself out of it and a huge smile plastered itself on his face.</p><p>“This is more evidence we can show the Council, Red, that’s fantastic,” he enthused and she gave him a bright smile back.</p><p>“Joker, make sure all of it is secure and locked down. We don’t want to tip anyone off. Saren’s still got a lot of access,” John ordered, Joker responding affirmatively.</p><p>It seems their good fortune had removed all thought of his headache as he jumped out of the chair and swooped her up in a big hug, before pulling back slightly, cupping her face and kissing her. She returned his kiss and deepened it by opening her mouth and sliding her tongue to caress his bottom lip, arms wrapped firmly around his torso, her hands on his back. He moaned and opened his mouth as well, the two of them engaging in a passionate battle of tongues. His other hand moved to the small of her back, making sure she was planted right up against him, and it was her turn to moan at the insistent pressure. Alyssa felt wonderful, John was an excellent kisser and she was feeling the by now familiar heat spread all over her body.</p><p>As the hand on her lower back moved down to cup her ass, she rolled her hips against him to show her appreciation. He squeezed her butt and moved his mouth to her neck, kissing a trail down to her collar bone. His other hand meanwhile, moved to caress one of her breasts through her shirt, causing her nipple to harden delightfully. She was turning into a puddle of want because of his expert touch. Both of them were breathing hard, moans and groans escaping them as their pleasure mounted. </p><p>Before they could go any further however, they were interrupted by Joker’s voice on the speaker.</p><p>“You guys realize I’m still here, right?” he asked them, repeating John’s earlier remark.</p><p>They immediately untangled and looked at each other in shock. It seemed they had both been so caught up in each other, that they’d forgotten all about Joker.</p><p>“I mean, I can’t see what you’re doing, unfortunately, but I can hear you,” he quipped and Alyssa felt a familiar flush creep up her face to rest firmly on her cheeks.</p><p>She leaned her forehead against John’s shoulder in embarrassment  and he put his hand on the back of her head in sympathy. As the CO, he could expect Joker to at least keep a semi-professional attitude when talking to him. Alyssa didn’t think she’d be that lucky. Joker was going to be relentless, she was never going to live this down.</p><p>“Joker, as our comms officer, your discretion is deemed mission critical,” John told him in a firm voice.</p><p>“Don’t worry Commander, my lips are sealed. Unlike some people’s,” Joker couldn’t help but add, sounding proud of himself. Yeah, Alyssa was definitely screwed, Joker would have way too much fun teasing her about this.</p><p>“Get off the comms, Joker,” John ordered and then they heard the telltale beep that told them Joker had closed the connection. The one they should have been listening for before.</p><p>“Look, I’m sure Joker will be discrete,” John started, before Alyssa held up her hand to interrupt.</p><p>“I’m not that worried about Joker spilling the beans. He’ll have fun teasing me about it in private, but he won’t compromise you, John. Still, we should be more careful. I don’t want to make things difficult for you with the crew. They need to respect your authority, and I’m someone they don’t know and don’t yet trust. I’m not exactly Alliance and they know it. That could lead to issues for you and I don’t want that,” she explained.</p><p>“What are you saying, Red? Do you want to stop?” John looked at her sharply, hurt in his eyes clear to see.</p><p>“Absolutely not, I’m way too fond of you. I’m just saying we need to be more circumspect. We’ve been lucky so far, but we need to be careful. It’s a small ship,” she told him firmly, kissing him again to show him that she had no intention of backing off.</p><p>“Sneaking around huh? I like that,” he said with a dirty look, desire flaring now that she had reassured him she wanted to continue.</p><p>“Thought you might. I’m learning all kinds of new things about you,” she teased, running her hands down his back before squeezing his ass. It was firm and toned and felt amazing. There really was nothing like a well-built man, she thought idly, whether Human or Turian. He kissed her before asking her to elaborate.</p><p>“What have you learned about me, Red?”</p><p>She bit her lower lip in thought, and he growled softly at the gesture, his hand now also on her ass, rubbing and squeezing.</p><p>“The thought of me with another guy turns you on, as does us sneaking around behind everyone’s back. I’m getting the feeling you’re a bit of a deviant, John,” she told him, and she heard how low her voice had dropped, evidence of her aroused state.</p><p>“I like it. I can’t wait to find out what else turns you on,” she added and gave him a seductive look. His eyes were hooded, his lust for her obvious in the way he was watching her.</p><p>“Red, with you, everything turns me on,” he growled at her, grinding his hips, and his erection, against her, to emphasize his words.</p><p>“That is so the right answer,” she said with a smile, kissing him again.</p><p>Faintly, she realized that they were still in the comms room, which wasn’t closed off, even if it wasn’t used that much. The crew would still come in sometimes, as the seating arrangement meant that they could have meetings here instead of the more crowded mess hall.</p><p>“John, I hate to do this, but the room isn’t secure, anyone could walk in here and catch us,” she warned him and he let out a frustrated groan.</p><p>“Dammit, you’re right. You and me, Red, soon,” he promised her.</p><p>“Agreed. Soon,” she promised him in return.</p><p>“You’re in better shape than I am, so why don’t you go out first, and then I’ll be out in a few minutes. No one will be any the wiser,” he suggested.</p><p>She gave him a kiss and whispered in his ear before leaving: “I want you to think about all the things you want to do with me, John.” She saw a shiver run through him and felt intense satisfaction at the fact she was able to turn him on so acutely.</p><p>“And then I want you to tell me all about them, baby, every naughty little thing that dirty mind of yours can come up with,” she added.</p><p>She didn’t wait for a reply. She gave him a small kiss on the cheek and then walked out without looking back, putting some extra sway in her hips because she knew he’d be watching.</p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa made a beeline for her quarters, not up to facing Joker just yet. She knew she’d have to succumb to it eventually. Joker wouldn’t be able to resist ribbing her for what he’d overheard and she couldn’t really begrudge him for it. But she didn’t want to indulge him right now. She’d just had an idea that she wanted to run by Captain Anderson and it required some privacy.</p><p>And, if she was honest, she wanted some time by herself as well. She was used to being alone, and the close quarters and constant interactions with everyone on board was tiring. As much as she liked the people on the Normandy that she was getting to know, she was still getting used to never really being alone. She didn’t want to actively start avoiding people, but she knew that John had been right that first week, when he’d told her to find ways to relieve stress and get used to living on a ship the size of the Normandy.</p><p>She also missed being able to go outside, into the fresh air and look at the trees and the greenery. Just walking on a pavement, or even better, driving her car and signing along with the radio. Shopping for random things she didn’t need, or to satisfy a food craving that came upon her spontaneously. People watching, going for dinner, or going dancing with her friends. She knew there was no real use wallowing, and that wasn’t what she was doing, but she needed some time to do nothing and just relax. By herself.</p><p>She still felt quite alien in her new surroundings sometimes. Building strong relationships would help, and she was looking forward to her evening session with Tali. Being more familiar with the tech would also help. Working with Ashley would make her feel more useful onboard, so that was another step in the right direction. That just left research. Knowing more about the galaxy she was in, the Council races, their history and more about their cultures would help her feel more at home here. It might also help the mission, understanding the nuances of different cultures was just as important at her old job and she’d excelled at it. She figured it would be even more vital here.</p><p>Settling in at her desk, she resolved to do just that, spend a few hours reading up on her new world and its occupants.</p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa emerged from her quarters to grab some dinner. She wasn’t there long before Joker walked up and sat down across from her, the shit-eating grin on his face so big that for a second she was worried his face was going to crack.</p><p>“Enjoying yourself over there, Joker?” she asked him.</p><p>“Not as much as some of us, Cleo. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I’m hurt, I thought I was your bestie, you’re supposed to tell me everything,” he told her, doing his best to put on a disappointed puppy expression, both hands dramatically positioned over his heart. She wasn’t buying it of course, she knew him too well.</p><p>“Be nice to me, or I’m not telling you anything,” she warned him and he immediately perked up, sitting at attention and smiling broadly.</p><p>“I’ll be so nice, I promise, but you’ve got to throw me some crumbs here,” he almost pleaded.</p><p>“There’s something wrong with you for wanting to live vicariously through me, of all people, Joker. You know that right?” she teased him.</p><p>“I know, I know. Start talking, Cleo, curious, porn-fogged minds want to know,” he urged her on.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re ready for girl talk with me? Wouldn’t it be weird?” she needled him mercilessly.</p><p>“I want to make sure my friend is happy, you idiot. In case you hadn’t noticed, I worry about you,” and at his words, her heart absolutely melted. The ease with which she’d become friends with Joker, and how accepting he was of her, was humbling. She reached out to grab his hand and held it in hers.</p><p>“I’m happy, Joker, I promise. I’m getting used to being here, although being cooped up on a ship is a big change. I miss the sky and the fresh air, you know. And I’m not going to give you a lot of dirty details on Shepard, not that there really are any yet. It’s very new and a bit overwhelming. I like it though.”</p><p>“Good, that’s the main thing. I’m happy you’re happy, although do remember that audio is good, but vids last forever. Help a friend out. I can be discrete,” he smirked at her and she reached out and punched him on the shoulder.</p><p>“Oh see, there was one more bit of really juicy gossip that I was going to share with you, but now you went and ruined it. Too bad, Joker, it was really good too, such a shame,” she teased him.</p><p>“You’re bluffing, there’s nothing else, this is pretty much your big thing,” he told her airily, confident in his assessment.</p><p>“Well, if you’re sure you don’t want to know, I guess I won’t tell you,” she continued as he narrowed his eyes at her.</p><p>“Damn, I can’t get a read on you. Now I don’t know if you’re serious,” he muttered, focusing on detecting any tells. All she was showing on her face was amusement however.</p><p>“Eat your dinner and be happy for me. I just spent my morning kissing our handsome Commander. We have evidence of Saren admitting to doing Sovereign’s bidding which should be enough to put the final nail in the coffin of his Spectre status. And when we get to the Citadel, we’ll see Nihlus and Anderson again and you might have an opportunity to meet a new friend. He talks even faster than you do, Joker, you’ll like him,” she told him with a big grin on her face.</p><p>“I like this positive side of you, Cleo, it helps with the pitch black cynicism in my heart,” he quipped easily as he dug into his food in earnest.</p><p>As she watched him eat, amusement at his table manners on her face, she said: “I know I mentioned this earlier, but you eat like a starved varren, Joker, honestly. I’m debating just putting the plate down on the floor so you can have at it.”</p><p>She was startled by a big laugh behind her as Garrus approached their table and joined them, sitting next to her.</p><p>“I’m not sure about Human etiquette, but I’m pretty certain that for every species, most of the food is supposed to end up actually in your mouth, Joker,” Garrus commented dryly, joining the conversation. When he sat down, he slid his hand over Alyssa’s inner thigh, stroking softly up and down. Her expression must have given something away, because Joker’s eyes got big all of a sudden and as he made the connection, he looked at her in awe. She shook her head slightly to try and keep him quiet and to his credit, he shut up for once. The massive grin on his face however, was a dead giveaway and Garrus picked up on it.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Garrus asked them, looking from her to Joker and back. Joker was still grinning, looking at her as if to dare her to dig herself out of this hole.</p><p>“Joker heard Shepard and I kiss in the comms room this morning, and I’m guessing he made a further inference about us when you joined us just now. Isn’t that right, Joker?” she said, looking straight at him.</p><p>He looked flabbergasted, frozen with a bite of food on its way to his mouth. She smiled at him sweetly, silently daring him to respond. Joker looked from her to Garrus, checking for his reaction. Garrus however, just chuckled and reached out to stroke her hand affectionately, something Joker immediately focused on.</p><p>“Sounds like you and Shepard had fun then, sweetheart. And as long as Joker <i> keeps his mouth shut </i>,” he said, quietly emphasizing the words with a low warning growl, “we won’t have any issues.”</p><p>Joker swallowed hard at the implied threat and nodded to Garrus.</p><p>“My lips are sealed, I promise. But you,” he said, pointing his fork at Alyssa accusingly, “better come talk to me tomorrow. I need to know what the hell is going on with my girl.”</p><p>She smiled and told him she would be by tomorrow and he could ask whatever he wanted. At this, Garrus raised an eyebrow plate, but Alyssa shrugged. Joker would be a vault, she was sure. It might even be nice to discuss it with someone she wasn’t in a relationship with and she wasn’t exactly flush in the girlfriend department at the moment. She finished her meal as they chatted about inconsequential things, eager to meet up with Tali.</p><p>“Okay boys, I’m going to have to love you and leave you. I’m meeting with Tali for another ‘let’s drag Alyssa into this century’ class in tech excellence.”</p><p>She stood up and looked around. They were the only ones in the mess hall, which was a small miracle. She leaned over to kiss Garrus and she put their foreheads together before walking over to Joker and kissing him on the cheek. She whispered ‘be nice, he makes me happy’ in his ear and then walked away from the table to clear her plate and get ready to meet with Tali.</p><p>***</p><p>When Tali came in for their tech lesson, Alyssa greeted her warmly and rose to give her a hug. The two women, different in some aspects, but so alike in others, held each other for a long moment before parting.</p><p>“It’s good to see you, thanks for doing this,” Alyssa told her. Tali made a small hand gesture to indicate it was nothing.</p><p>“It’s my pleasure, Alyssa, I like being useful. And besides, I like hanging out with you. You went out of your way to make sure I was comfortable on board. The least I can do is return the favor.”</p><p>“On that note, I checked with doctor Chakwas earlier and she has the time to see you, if you’d like to get some sleep tonight at some point,” Alyssa informed her.</p><p>Tali gave her a relieved sigh and nodded. “I’d like that, will you go in with me?”</p><p>“Absolutely,” Alyssa agreed easily.</p><p>They walked to the med bay, and as Alyssa had expected, doctor Chakwas was waiting for them with a smile on her face. She walked up to Tali and shook her hand, welcoming her in and trying to make her feel more comfortable.</p><p>“I’ve been doing some research into Quarian physiology, Tali, so I’m quite confident that I’m able to help you with what you need. If not, I have contacts in the medical community that I can ask for advice, including doctor Nori’Koris vas Neema. I met her years ago on her Pilgrimage and she remains a dear friend,” doctor Chakwas told her, warmth radiating from her voice.</p><p>“Thank you, Doctor. You are not what I was expecting,” Tali answered her honestly. As she saw Tali relax, Alyssa hung back and let the two women talk. She was there if she was needed, but she was increasingly sure she wouldn’t be. When Tali looked her way, she raised an eyebrow, asking her silently if she was alright, and Tali gave her a small nod. She was fine.</p><p>Sauntering over to Liara’s lab, she waved at the Asari as she walked in. Liara was reading something, but smiled as she saw her come in and pushed her chair back.</p><p>“How are you settling in, Liara?” Alyssa asked her.</p><p>“I’m alright. It’s quite an adjustment, being around so many people all the time. I’m afraid I’m more used to solitude, being on a dig site is quite dull in comparison,” Liara answered, looking thoughtful.</p><p>“I’ll bet. It takes some adjusting, I’m sure. Although this is a quiet corner of the ship, no foot traffic,” she remarked.</p><p>“Yes, I’m lucky the commander was so accommodating. Karin is very nice too. It’s lovely to have another scientist nearby and I can learn so much by being around Humans. I haven’t really had a lot of interaction with your species before,” Liara remarked in her melodic voice.</p><p>“Sounds like you made the right choice, for you and for us,” Alyssa complimented.</p><p>“Thank you, it’s kind of you to say so. I must say, just commander Shepard alone is fascinating. He’s been touched by actual Prothean technology. That is unique in the galaxy and the avenues of study that offers are very interesting,” Liara gushed, excitement about what she could learn from him almost tangible in the air. Alyssa couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm.</p><p>“Glad to hear it.”</p><p>They chatted for a while, getting to know each other a little better. Alyssa checked periodically to see how Tali was doing.</p><p>“I’ll leave you be, Tali promised me a lesson on this century’s tech after this, and by the look of things, they’re wrapping up. See you later, Liara,” she said, giving her a small wave before turning and heading back to Tali and doctor Chakwas.</p><p>They were indeed almost finished, the doctor explaining the final instructions about the medication she’d provided Tali.</p><p>“Half an hour before you go to sleep should work, Tali, and let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help,” she heard the doc say.</p><p>“Thank you, Doctor, I will,” Tali answered and Alyssa could tell all her nervousness was now gone.</p><p>“Then let’s go, woman, you need to teach me how to break into the expensive liquor cabinet,” Alyssa joked, tilting her head to the door.</p><p>They said their goodbyes and returned to Alyssa’s quarters. </p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa and Tali had been working for well over an hour on easy decryption methods when Alyssa called a break, her head swimming with technical terms. There was actually a nice combination of problem solving and dexterity required for cracking the combinations. Tali was patient and calm in explaining it to her, waiting for her to try everything her way before offering a better solution.</p><p>“Would you like a drink, Tali? I’ll go grab us something from the mess and some food too. I’ll be right back,” Alyssa offered and Tali nodded gratefully.</p><p>When she returned, they settled in their chairs and were silent for a moment as they enjoyed their drinks and snacks.</p><p>“Go ahead, you can ask,” Alyssa offered when Tali looked at her with her head slightly tilted. Alyssa had come to recognize it as Tali’s thinking stance.</p><p>“I couldn’t help but notice, I mean, I was right next to you and you weren’t exactly hiding it from me,” Tali began and Alyssa smiled at her, putting her at ease.</p><p>“Yes, Garrus and I are quite fond of each other and it’s not only platonic,” she confirmed and Tali gave a high pitched squeal, sounding delighted.</p><p>“Keelah Se’lai, that is so cute. He is really attractive, Alyssa. I’m a little jealous,” she giggled.</p><p>“He is, isn’t he?” she happily agreed. “And smart, kind, thoughtful and funny. And you know, hot,” she added, making both of them giggle.</p><p>“Well, I’m happy for you. I know you, like me, feel a bit alone here sometimes, so it’s good that you have Garrus to help you,” she told Alyssa honestly.</p><p>“And Garrus does help, but so do you, and Joker, and Shepard. I’ve got a training session lined up with Ashley tomorrow, and that helps too. I’m trying to keep busy, and I’m hoping time will take care of the rest,” she answered honestly, grateful for her friends and the care they took of her.</p><p>“I know what you mean. I’m helping the engineering team with upgrades to the Normandy, and that keeps me busy. They accept me for my skills and ideas, and don’t seem to care that I’m Quarian. It’s refreshing really. Even though the ship is still too quiet and too empty, I’m starting to feel more comfortable here,” Tali said.</p><p>“That’s good to hear. And I wouldn’t worry, Tali, give it a bit more time and you’ll feel at home here,” Alyssa promised and she could see Tali’s eyes light up behind her mask.</p><p>“And that’s enough stalling from you, missy, back to work on those decryptions,” Tali ordered suddenly, startling Alyssa and making her snort loudly.</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” she quipped and moved forward to bow down over her work. She was determined to understand and master this particular skill, as Tali had promised her it was the first step to learning how to hack into systems. Alyssa would feel more comfortable if she was able to get herself out of a tight spot when needed.</p><p>The rest of the evening was spent poring over details and discussing how to approach certain issues and what to look out for to avoid traps. It was so much more difficult than the simplified gaming system had led her to believe, but she persevered, her single-minded determination to accomplish the task at hand not letting her quit before she got it. By the end of the night, several hours later, Tali declared that she could now master easy decryptions and that, if she wanted, they could move onto medium level decryptions next. Alyssa immediately agreed, ready to tackle the next task.</p><p>After Tali left, she was tired and changed into her sleeping gear quickly. Checking her messages one more time before she fell asleep, she was happy to see the confirmation from Captain Anderson that she’d been waiting on. He’d managed to arrange what she’d requested. That made her smile. It had been such a busy day and she was expected bright and early by Ashley, so she crawled into bed without delay and felt her body unwind as she fell asleep.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Training Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa trains with Ashley for the first time, Joker gets some answers and John tracks her down for some alone time. Doctor Chakwas provides some more answers about Alyssa's reaction to dextro and Garrus spends the night.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She got up way too early the next morning, stepping out of bed and stretching, trying wake up a little more. She was looking forward to training with Ashley. Other than her strategic knowledge, she wasn’t of much use in any practical sense. She was pretty good with a gun, that wasn’t nothing, but she was feeling inadequate compared to almost everybody else on board. If anything happened right now, if they were boarded by Batarians, or Cerberus or something, she’d have to be protected instead of being able to help fight back. Training with Ashley would make that better. If she was going into war, she wanted to help, not hinder. She didn’t want John or anyone to have to run to save her. She wanted to be able to save herself, at least. Maybe save someone else if she could. </p><p>A quick shower helped her fully wake up. Her faculties started kicking in once she'd changed into her workout clothes. Mind made up, sure she was doing the right thing and feeling ready and determined, she went down to the training area to meet Ashley. </p><p>The dark-haired woman in question was waiting for her in one of the training rooms, and greeted her as she came in, waiving her over.</p><p>“Morning Alyssa, ready to get started?” she asked in a cheerful voice that sounded like trouble.</p><p>“I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’re going to be enjoying yourself a lot more than I am,” she replied carefully, and Ashley laughed, a full, warm sound that seemed all too uncommon for her.</p><p>“Absolutely. I enjoy bringing recruits up to standard,” she readily admitted.</p><p>“Well, I asked for this, so don’t go easy on me. I don’t want to be a liability on this ship,” she told Ashley earnestly and the other woman nodded at her.</p><p>“That’s good. Let’s agree the following then. We train here every morning at 07:00. I’ll teach you everything you need to know to be a useful part of this crew. You’ll receive a modification of the standard Alliance military training. I’ll be tough, but fair. Once I think you’ve made sufficient progress, I’ll ask Shepard to evaluate you. Ultimately, it’s up to him to judge if you’re ready for the field or not,” Ashley explained.</p><p>“Ready for the field?” Alyssa repeated, honest surprise coursing through her.</p><p>“Yes, that is the goal here, Alyssa. You should be able to support Shepard on missions, where required. Any other objective short of that means you’re less than the rest of the us and that’s not what you were going for, right?”</p><p>Alyssa could only nod. She hadn’t thought about it in those terms, but that made sense. Why train until she was good enough to defend herself? Why not aim higher and see if she could achieve battle readiness state? She took a big breath. That was a big responsibility.</p><p>“Okay, I’m ready. Kick my butt across the room,” she quipped, steeling herself.</p><p>“Oh, I will. Let’s start,” Ashley laughed.</p><p>***</p><p>Three hours later, Alyssa was limping back to her quarters, exhausted and bruised. As she had expected, Ashley had been relentless, pushing her to her breaking point and beyond. She couldn’t remember ever being this sore. Her training clothes were soaked through with sweat and her hair was a mess. She quickly grabbed clean clothes and her toiletry bag and stumbled into the showers. Warm water cascading over her sore body would be very welcome right now.</p><p>She started stripping off, a task made difficult because all her gear was wet and stroppy. Leaving her clothes in a pile near the shower, she stepped into the spray of the water and let out a blissful sigh. It felt wonderful, the water cleaning off the layer of sweat she’d accumulated. It stung where it hit her bruises, but Alyssa wasn’t bothered by the pain. It was well earned after all.</p><p>Ashley had started with the basics, form and fitness, but then changed it up to include tactics and had even set up a small obstacle course for her. Finally, when she was already tired, she’d switched to hand-to-hand combat and wiped the floor with Alyssa. But she had learned a lot. Ashley, surprisingly, had demonstrated grace and patience in teaching her. She explained how best to identify and duck behind cover, and how to increase her sightlines while minimizing her body’s exposure to enemy fire. And then after explaining it, Alyssa had hid behind cover and Ashley had demonstrated the risks by tagging her repeatedly with little pellets from a specially designed gun while she’d tried to shoot back.</p><p>Alyssa had found that your concentration was seriously impacted when you’d tried to shoot someone that was also shooting at you. Something that didn’t happen on the gun range. And so now, as she inspected her body carefully, she saw little bruises all over her arms and legs. She’d mostly managed to keep her torso properly behind cover, and Ashley had explained she wouldn’t focus on her head, but all the other parts of her were fair game. She let the water run over her for a little while before reaching out to grab her shampoo and get on with her shower routine.</p><p>Later, when she had toweled off and she was in front of the sink drying her hair, she smiled at the sight of the bruise Garrus had left on her a few days ago. It was fading, but not gone yet. She reached out to brush her fingers against it, remembering the moment fondly. Getting dressed quickly, she went back to her quarters, dropping off all her gear before going to the mess hall to grab something to eat. Working that hard had left her starving and she found herself piling food on her plate in excess of what she would normally have.</p><p>She took her heavy tray over to the cockpit. She had promised to check in with Joker after all. She owed her friend some time, and some answers.</p><p>When he saw her come in, his eyes grew wide at the massive amount of food on her tray and immediately quipped: “Eating for two already, Cleo, you sure move fast.”</p><p>She groaned at the bad joke and moved to smack him on the head before abandoning the plan when the tray started to tip in one direction.</p><p>“Laugh it up. I was training with Ashley this morning, I’m fucking starving. And bruised to hell, by the way. She shot at me with little pellets,” she informed him, and he let out a full-throated laugh.</p><p>“Oh, that is fantastic. She shot at you, that’s hilarious,” he couldn’t stop laughing, enjoying her exasperated look as she dug into her food.</p><p>He inspected her tray, looked up at her and then quickly stole a sandwich for himself from the pile that she’d made.</p><p>“Hey, you little thief, I need that,” she cried out, and before she could snatch it back, he’d bitten into it with relish, daring her to take it back now.</p><p>She shook her head, her pain and fatigue receding due to the food and his infectious good humor. They ate together quietly for a while, and Alyssa passed her drink over to him for a sip, before he gave it back for her to finish. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Two friends eating together and enjoying each other’s company. Once she’d washed away the last of her food with the last of her drink, she looked at him expectantly.</p><p>“Alright. Now, out with it,” she demanded.</p><p>He gave her a wide smile before rubbing his hands together to show her how happy he was to dig into her private life.</p><p>“You’re with both of them? At the same time?” He asked incredulously, his eyebrows were somewhere near his hairline, waiting on her answer.</p><p>“I was, or rather, I am attracted to both of them. Garrus and I got into a bit of a heated situation a few days ago and it was clear that he likes me too,” she started to explain, feeling the blush return to her face.</p><p>Joker was nodding, a huge smile on his face. When he saw her blush, he reached out to pat her hand, subtly letting her know she didn’t need to be embarrassed.</p><p>“We talked about it, and he had picked up on the attraction between Shepard and I. When I confessed that I liked them both, Garrus was surprisingly alright with it. He didn’t need me to choose if I felt like I couldn’t,” she explained.</p><p>Joker chuckled softly. “I’d like a girlfriend like that, let me know if he has a sister,” he deadpanned, and she grinned.</p><p>“He does, although how you expect to leave that bedroom alive is beyond me,” she laughed, and after a beat, so did he.</p><p>“I’ll die with a smile on my face.”</p><p>“Anyway,” she said, chuckling at him, “Shepard and I have grown closer as well, and you heard the result in the comms room.”</p><p>“My lips are sealed, but it sounded really hot, just so you know,” he grinned at her.</p><p>“It felt really hot too,” she confessed. They shared conspiratorial grins.</p><p>“And he’s aware of Garrus and I. They discussed it together without me and came to some sort of agreement. It was kind of cute, actually. They both hugged me, and kissed me, and told me they were fine with it. I still can’t believe that actually happened.”</p><p>Joker released a breath. “Wow, now that’s a picture that’s not going to go away any time soon. And you’re happy, yeah, this is what you want?”</p><p>She nodded, putting her hand over his. “I am. Not sure how I got that lucky, but yeah, it’s exactly what I want. Garrus wants to take me on a date when we’re on the Citadel.” She smiled broadly at the thought, thinking of having him to herself for the evening and walking around together on the Presidium.</p><p>“If you’re happy, that’s good enough for me. If they hurt you, Cleo, I’ll shoot them in the kneecaps. Turians have kneecaps, right?”</p><p>She gave him a hug. “Thank you for listening and caring about me like you do. I appreciate it.”</p><p>“No problem,” he answered before breaking the hug.</p><p>“I’m still going to be sending Shepard porn, you know. I know just the thing, too. Want to put in a request, get some ideas into his head?” He wagged his eyebrows suggestively before bursting out laughing. She shook her head at his antics.</p><p>“You send him whatever you want. But just so you know, he seems to be pretty creative all on his own.”</p><p>He groaned loudly at her comment. “I do not need to know this about my Commanding Officer. Mean, Cleo,” he told her off with a smile.</p><p>“I’m gonna go. Stuff to do, people to kiss, you know how it is,” she joked, leaning over to kiss his cheek before moving off down the corridor, crossing the CIC where Shepard was discussing something with Navigator Pressly. As she passed both men, she smiled at John, and touched Pressly’s shoulder in greeting. Her hand brushed against John’s briefly and delight flickered in his eyes.</p><p>“Gentlemen,” she greeted them in passing.</p><p>“Ma’am,” Pressly greeted her politely.</p><p>“Red, minute of your time later?” John asked her, keeping a carefully casual tone.</p><p>“Sure thing, boss man. I’ll be in my quarters for the rest of the afternoon. Feel free to drop in,” she offered, and he nodded.</p><p>She went back to her room, grabbing a drink from the mess hall on the way. Tali had shown her a way to safely record and store information and key it for access to a specific person only and Alyssa had decided to get started sooner rather than later. She would key it to John and if anything happened to her, he would have what he needed to navigate his way through the Reaper War.</p><p>Sitting at her desk, she first checked her messages. She’d forgotten to disable the sleep mode and had been too exhausted after Ashley’s workout to think of it. Activating it now, she saw a few messages pop in.</p><p>Tali had sent her additional instructions on decryption that she could do in her own time.</p><p>And there was a message from Garrus.</p><p>   <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 10:45<br/>
       Hey Lys, how are you? I miss you. I’ve got a busy day today. Do you want to have dinner tonight? </i></p><p>She smiled when she read the message and started typing.</p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 13:50<br/>
    Hi big guy, I’m doing well. Sore from Ashley’s workout this morning. Covered in bruises. I’d love to have dinner with you. I miss you too.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 13:51<br/>
    It’s a date. And I’ve got some ideas on how to help you with your sore muscles.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 13:52<br/>
    I can’t wait. Now all I can think about is your hands all over me. Just the thought is doing wonders for me already.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 13:53<br/>
    I’m stuck in here for a while, Lys. Mean. Stop teasing me.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 13:54<br/>
    I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it <em>hard</em> for you to concentrate on your job. I should really let you focus on the task at hand.<br/>
    I’m just sitting here, by myself, remembering how amazing it feels when your chestplates scrape across my nipples.<br/>
    Just thinking about it now is making them hard again.</i></p><p>  <i>From G. Vakarian; today at 13:57<br/>
    You are in so much trouble when I get my hands on you.</i></p><p>  <i>To G. Vakarian; today at 13:57<br/>
    Promises, promises. Bring it, officer Vakarian. I’m looking forward to tonight.</i></p><p>She smiled at her omni-tool. She loved teasing Garrus and wondered what riling him up like that would mean for her later. She had a feeling that she was going to like whatever it was that he cooked up.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, she closed her omni-tool and opened the encrypted program Tali had given her. Time to dig in and start writing down everything she knew about the Normandy’s missions. Linking her fingers together, she stretched her arms up above her head and wriggled around in her chair to settle herself. She then spent the next few hours recording everything she knew. It was tedious, and at times difficult to structure, but she knew it was crucial information and she felt good about herself. This was their safety net. It was important.</p><p>She’d been working steadily for a while when she heard the door open and John walked in. She turned in her seat to face him and smiled. Just the distraction she needed. Purposefully stretching in her seat, her arms above her head so her shirt rode up, she didn’t miss the flash of desire in his eyes as he watched her.</p><p>“Hi John, come on in,” she said, getting up from her chair to meet him.</p><p>“Hey Red, get over here,” he replied, not taking his eyes off her as she sauntered over, swaying her hips.</p><p>“Hmm, yes, sir,” she whispered as she walked right into his arms and kissed him hard. He closed her arms around her and returned her kiss with a moan. She pushed into him, eager to close the distance between them. Her hands were gripping his shirt, and his hands had traveled down to cup her ass.</p><p>“God, I love your ass, Red, it’s perfect,” he murmured, squeezing her cheeks and sliding his big hands all over them.</p><p>She mirrored his movements, gripping his ass in return and giving it a squeeze before slapping it. “I like your ass too, John, very nice,” she whispered, her mouth traveling down his jaw to his throat. He tilted his head to give her better access and she took quick advantage, running her mouth and her tongue up and down the sensitive skin, leaving John to moan loudly against her.</p><p>Suddenly she stopped, and looked up at John as he slowly registered she wasn’t kissing him anymore.</p><p>“Is something wrong? What happened?” he asked, confused at her behavior. He brought his hand up to her cheek and pulled her up straight to look him in the eyes.</p><p>“I just thought - was this the reason you came in here, or are we getting sidetracked?” she explained, and he chuckled when he saw she was serious.</p><p>“Would it be terrible if I said I came in here with the express purpose of manhandling you like this?” he replied, and she smiled widely.</p><p>“I’m flattered. You’re a busy man, and here I am, getting all this personal attention,” she teased, sliding her hands across his chest. He groaned and kissed her again.</p><p>“I am busy, but when you walked past earlier, I couldn’t hear another damn word Pressly was saying. I kept thinking about these wonderful lips of yours,” he said, kissing her again. “Or how this fabulous ass feels in my hands,” he groaned into her, squeezing said ass.</p><p>“I tried to concentrate, but my thoughts kept drifting,” he confessed between kisses. Every word was turning her on more. “So, I couldn’t resist. Even though I don’t have long, I wanted to see you.”</p><p>She pushed back and gave him a wicked smile. “Then let me make it worth your while and show you how appreciative I am of your attention.”</p><p>He quirked an eyebrow at her. “What did you have in mind?” </p><p>She kissed him and moved away, quickly pulling her shirt over her head, leaving her in just her bra. His eyes went big and focused completely on her breasts. She pulled him in by the back of his head and he immediately buried his face in her tits. He pulled the cups down to expose her nipples and dove right in, kissing, sucking and licking them. She chuckled softly, he seemed like a starving man at a buffet as he attacked her chest with zeal.</p><p>Pulling his head back up, she kissed him and said: “Good, but not quite what I had in mind,” before dropping to her knees and reaching for his belt. John groaned loudly when he realized what she was doing.</p><p>“Fuck, Red, are you sure, you don’t have to,” he tried, but her arched eyebrow stopped his protests. </p><p>“I know I don’t have to, John, but I want to,” she told him, looking up at him with a wide smile, before licking her lips. He was laser focused on her mouth, watching her tongue trace first her upper lip and then her lower lip, a moan escaping him at the sight of her on her knees, licking her lips with her breasts bared before him.</p><p>She managed to open his pants and pulled them and his underwear down in one quick motion. His cock, already hard, fell against her hand and she looked at him with a dirty smile before she leaned forward and kissed the tip. He swallowed hard, completely absorbed, watching her closely. She kissed the tip again before opening her mouth and sliding his smooth head into her mouth, sucking lightly. He hissed and his hips rocked involuntarily. His hands were balling into fists and unclenching at his side and when she noticed, she brought them up to her hair.</p><p>He gave her a questioning look and she released him briefly to murmur: “Whatever feels good for you, baby, I can take it,” before slipping his cock back into her mouth and running her tongue over the head. His pupils were blown, and his hands found purchase in her hair, but he didn’t apply any pressure or force her movements.</p><p>“That feels really good, Red, damn,” he moaned, stroking her face with one hand.</p><p>Suddenly their moans and groans were interrupted by the distinctive beep of an omni-tool. They both sighed in frustration as they saw John’s display come up. She released him from her mouth and he held up a hand to help her to her feet. Leaning her head on his shoulder in defeat, she kissed his cheek before stepping away to find her shirt. Meanwhile John reached down to pull his pants back up before he answered the call.</p><p>It turned out to be Joker.</p><p>“Yes, Joker, what is it?” John said, perhaps a bit more sharply than he had intended. She could see Joker flinch at the tone on the vid screen.</p><p>“Sorry to bother you, Commander, but I’ve got a secure transmission coming through and you weren’t in your quarters, Sir.” He sounded almost apologetic.</p><p>“No need to apologize, I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” John sighed. “I’ll head to my office now and take it there. Thank you,” he answered Joker before ending the call.</p><p>“Duty calls. Dammit, Red, I’m sorry,” he said, and she smiled at him before closing the distance between them for a final kiss.</p><p>“Bad timing, that’s all. We’ve got time. Go save the galaxy,” she told him, smacking his ass as he made his way out the door. She was pleased to see he looked a bit unsteady on his legs.</p><p>Letting out a frustrated sigh as she watched his cute butt walk out the door, she had the overwhelming urge to dramatically fall back against the bed with her arms wide like a teenager in a movie. She contained herself however, instead moving to her workstation and finishing off her drink.</p><p>Thinking about what to do next, she grabbed her stuff and decided to get cleaned up before dinner with Garrus. Still happily buzzed from the wonderful distraction that was all things John, even with the unfortunate interruption cutting their time short, she walked to the bathroom and spent some time getting ready before going to the mess hall. She was still a little sore from this morning but she felt good. John's visit had boosted her mood and she was also looking forward to seeing Garrus again. She had missed him and wanted to catch up and spend some time together. </p><p>***</p><p>Garrus had already settled himself at the small table in the corner of the mess hall, which gave them some privacy, when she walked in. She could see him look her up and down appreciatively, and she gave him a big smile before making her way over to him. Dropping down in the seat opposite him, they reached out to briefly hold hands. With the mess hall being busy, they’d both decided to be at least somewhat discreet. No need to tip the crew off.</p><p>She put her elbow on the table, and rested her head in her hand, watching him adoringly, taking him in without any shame. “God, you look good enough to eat,” she sighed, and he let out a surprised chirp at her straightforwardness.</p><p>“You know, Turians are a very literal people, Lys, now I’m picturing you munching on one of my chestplates,” he joked and she grinned at the image of her doing just that, crouched over him with a wild look in her eye.</p><p>“Sorry, big guy. I just can’t get over how absolutely gorgeous you are.” She saw his blush creep up his neck and grinned at him.</p><p>“Am I making you uncomfortable?” she asked.</p><p>“No, but you are making think about how sturdy this table is or how the crew would react if I ripped your clothes off and took you right here,” he said in a conversational tone, as if he was discussing the weather. Now it was her turn to blush, and he chuckled, leaning back in his chair, clearly amused by her reaction.</p><p>“Touché,” she conceded, grinning at him.</p><p>“Shall we eat and actually talk before I take you back to ravish me?” she asked, and he laughed before nodding and digging into his food.</p><p>They chatted about their day, Alyssa telling him all about her training with Ashley. He, like Joker, laughed when she explained Ashley had shot her. She pulled up her sleeve and showed him her arm, covered in little bruises. He gently traced them on her skin, promising to kiss the pain away later. With that promise secured, she slid the sleeve back down and changed the subject.</p><p>Garrus had spent the day learning more about the ship’s weapons and was already working with the engineers to improve the accuracy and output.</p><p>“Oh, and Chakwas called me to give me the all-clear. I’m not allergic to levo. Did she do yours too?” Garrus was saying.</p><p>“Oh, that is good news.” She heard his pleased hum before she saw the broad smile. She facepalmed as she remembered her own trip to the med bay.</p><p>“That reminds me, I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I didn’t tell you.” She shook her head. There hadn’t been time to let Garrus know she’d seen Chakwas.</p><p>“She called me in yesterday. The test results were unusual. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but she took more blood and would let me know.”</p><p>She couldn’t help the worried look on her face, and Garrus’ matched hers. He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together.</p><p>“She’ll figure it out. You’re not getting sick right, I mean, from touching me or kissing me?” He asked her, concern in his voice.</p><p>“No, I don’t think so. But on the other hand, if a doctor calls something ‘unusual’, it can’t be good, you know? I’m worried about what it might mean. For us. What if I can’t touch you the way I want?” she explained her train of thought. For a second, she looked crestfallen, but recovered quickly, not wanting to worry Garrus.</p><p>“I don’t know how advanced medical science was where you’re from, but now, right here, there isn’t much they can’t figure out, Lys. Try not to worry. If it was anything serious, Chakwas would have warned you about it. She wouldn’t let you get hurt,” he tried to reassure her, his concern for her triggering his soothing sub-vocals.</p><p>“I feel dumb for not asking what it could mean. Like, would I get a blue rash instead of a red one, or does it mean immediate paralysis and death? The gap’s kind of big, you know,” she confessed, vocalizing the niggling worry that had been plaguing her since her talk with Chakwas.</p><p>“If you’re that worried, Lys, let’s go see her now, together. After all, this involves me as much as it does you. I’d very much like it if you didn’t die on me,” he offered. She nodded. It would set her mind at ease.</p><p>“Thanks, Garrus, I’d like that. Let’s finish up here and then go see the doc. Again.”</p><p>***</p><p>Ten minutes later, and with no small amount of trepidation on Alyssa’s part, they walked into the med bay together and doctor Chakwas allowed a tiny flicker of surprise to cross her features before she schooled her expression.</p><p>“Hello, you two, can I help you with anything?” she asked kindly, turning to give them her full attention.</p><p>Garrus took charge and she was grateful he did.</p><p>“Alyssa had some more questions about her test results, and we were hoping you’d be able to explain it in some more detail. She’s worried it might be life-threatening,” he explained, not beating around the bush or sugarcoating her concerns.</p><p>“Ah, I understand. Sure. Sit down. I suppose I could have done a better job explaining it, or at least putting it in perspective,” Doctor Chakwas said easily, motioning for Alyssa to sit on the bed. Garrus remained standing next to her and took her hand in his. Doctor Chakwas smiled at the gesture.</p><p>“First of all, let me assure you that it is very unlikely that any sensitivity to dextro amino acids leads to any impactful negative effect in your life. It is, essentially, a reaction of the immune system, and one we can quite effectively suppress if there are negative side effects,” Chakwas said. Alyssa nodded and Garrus squeezed her hand to let her know he was there for her.</p><p>“There is little reason to think this would negatively impact your health at all,” she continued.</p><p>“I’ve been checking your blood specifically for the hormone balance, based on some of the responses you gave me. They pointed me in the right direction. I still have to corroborate the results, but the preliminary findings indicate that your body reacts to dextro amino acids by increasing your hormone production. In essence, you are more sensitive to dextro amino acids, and your body responds by kicking your reproductive system into overdrive,” doctor Chakwas explained.</p><p>“Wait, what?” she exclaimed, now thoroughly confused. “I do what?”</p><p>“Hormones ebb and flow each month, connected to your cycle. It is geared towards the ripening and release of a single egg each month for procreation. That’s how it works in Humans anyway,” she added the last for Garrus’ benefit and he nodded.</p><p>“Yes, I know that,” Alyssa said, trying not to sound impatient.</p><p>“In conjunction, there’s a subtle balance of hormones and pheromones that makes women more attractive during their fertile period. This evolutionary remnant is largely still active, although from what I could tell from your test results, yours is heightened compared to the standard. The standard being current century Human women. I don’t know why. It might be that all women where you’re from have levels similar to yours, or it might be unique to you, or a side effect of the method to transport you here,” Chakwas continued. Alyssa furrowed her brow. For a minute there, she was following along with the explanation before becoming confused again. Chakwas saw it and rushed to explain further.</p><p>“Your hormones, and consequently your pheromones, react strongly to dextro amino acids, effectively kicking your system into enhanced fertility mode. It’s not harmful, but it is unusual, in that I’ve never seen a reaction like it before. Again, these are preliminary results, and I’ll need a few more days to be certain, but I think it fits with the reactions you described as well,” the doc told her. Garrus looked puzzled, and Alyssa looked a bit embarrassed.</p><p>“So, when I’m with Garrus, my body is convinced that it’s baby-making time?” she summarized, looking at the doctor for confirmation.</p><p>“Succinctly put. We will have to investigate what actually happens. If your ovaries go into overproduction for instance, then that would be an adverse effect we would have to counter because it can be dangerous to your health. Which is why I’m sticking with my recommendation that you continue to practice safe sex and avoid dextro fluids.”</p><p>“Doctor, you’re sure that if we, eh, avoid fluids, as you say, it isn’t harmful to Alyssa? I don’t want to hurt her,” Garrus asked and Alyssa now gave his hand a squeeze to reassure him. She knew he wasn’t hurting her, but he needed the doc’s assurance.</p><p>“I’m sure. As I said, I’m being excessively careful, because I’ve never seen these results before. I’d like you to come in for additional testing soon, so we can check how your ovaries are doing. And I’d like to keep monitoring that periodically to ensure there are no anomalies.”</p><p>“Thanks, Doc. Alyssa, does that help?” Garrus turned to her now, checking in with her to see if she still had questions and if she was feeling better. She reached up to stroke his mandible and smiled at him warmly.</p><p>“It helps immensely. Thanks, Doc. I guess I was more worried than I thought,” she offered.</p><p>“That’s what I’m here for. I keep forgetting medicine would have changed so much since your time and I should take more care to explain things to you. I’ll try not to let that happen again.”</p><p>She was calmer now that Doctor Chakwas explained what was going on and relieved that it wasn't harmful. They'd made the right choice, coming in to get clarification. Nodding her thanks to Chakwas, she moved to the door. She saw Garrus reach out and shake Chakwas' hand, thanking her before he joined her to leave.</p><p>“So, your place or mine?” he whispered in her ear, and she laughed out loud then. The idea of bunking with Wrex was not appealing in the least and he knew it.</p><p>“Definitely mine,” she answered, poking him with her elbow. </p><p>***</p><p>As they walked into her quarters together, she was suddenly reminded of her earlier encounter with John and considered if she should tell Garrus about it. Deciding to be upfront, she turned to Garrus and took his hand.</p><p>“Garrus, I’m wondering something. We haven’t really talked about it, but I don’t want you to think I’m keeping secrets,” she started. He looked at her curiously but motioned for her to continue.</p><p>“John and I, do you want to know? Or should I not mention it? I’m not sure how this should work. I guess we should discuss how we want to approach this,” she said, sounding unsure.</p><p>“That’s a good question. I’m not sure I need all the details if I’m honest. But if you want to tell me that’s fine. Did you ask Shepard how he feels?” Garrus responded, all calm reason. He didn’t sound at all upset and for that she was grateful.</p><p>“It feels weird either way, you know. If I tell you, if feel like I’m betraying John’s confidence by sharing something intimate and vice versa. But if I don’t say anything, then it feels like I’m hiding something from you. Either feeling sucks, to be honest,” she told him.</p><p>Garrus pulled her into a hug and was chuckling softly.</p><p>“I’m constantly amazed by how good you are at tying yourself into knots like this, Lys. Don’t worry about it. You can tell John anything you want about us; I won’t ask you to keep secrets. And if he’s the same way, and something tells me he is, then you tell me whatever you want to tell me. I’m sure it will sort itself out,” he said, and there was such a warm tone to his voice that she felt the affection he had for her settle in her bones.</p><p>“Thanks, Garrus, I’ll check with John,” she said, feeling better as she nestled into his hug.</p><p>“Now, can I make a suggestion?” he asked, and she could hear the cheeky tone in his voice that warned her that whatever it was, she was going to like it.</p><p>“Anything for you,” she answered easily, anticipating skating through her.</p><p>“So, I’ve been thinking,” Garrus started, his voice again in that low, sensual register, “that me not being allergic to you gives us a few more options.” She looked at him and blinked a few times, before his words registered and she flashed him a big smile.</p><p>“Really, big guy, what did you have in mind?”</p><p>She reached up to run her fingers through his fringe and he got momentarily distracted, leaning into her hand and growling softly.</p><p>“Oh, that feel nice, keep going,” he encouraged her.</p><p>“What options, officer Vakarian? I’m completely at your disposal, you know,” she teased him, her voice clearly announcing her arousal.</p><p>“At my disposal, really? How could I refuse such a generous offer?” he purred at her.</p><p>She grabbed his hand and moved to the bed, with him trailing behind her, following her lead. She kicked off her shoes and got rid of her socks before sliding onto the bed. He did the same, before positioning himself next to her.</p><p>He moved her slightly, so she was lying on her back and he was on his side against her, giving him easy access. He leaned down and kissed her, and she opened her mouth to let his tongue explore. With his sharp teeth, she felt it was better not to push her tongue into his mouth and he didn’t seem to mind one bit. They kissed and he moved his hand through her hair, playing with it, like she was doing with his fringe. His talons putting pressure on her scalp felt wonderful.</p><p>“I want to taste you,” he said simply, looking her in the eye. His words shot straight to her core and she felt her own arousal build higher. That low electric buzzing sensation was making its way across her skin again. To emphasize his point, his hand traveled lower, between her legs, where it met her trousers first. She rolled her hips up against his hand instinctively and he moaned.</p><p>“I’m guessing that means ‘yes’,” he whispered in her ear.</p><p>“That means ‘hell yes’, Garrus,” she enthusiastically agreed. </p><p>She wriggled around a little, so she was able to take her shirt off, and when he saw what she was doing, he reached out to help. Between the two of them, they made quick work of their clothes, haphazardly discarding them, not caring where they landed. Now both completely naked, they turned into each other to resume their kisses and caresses.<br/>
When he saw the little bruises on her arms, shoulders and legs, he chuckled, and true to his earlier promise, reached out to touch and kiss each one. It was a loving, relaxed gesture, and Alyssa melted in his arms.</p><p>Garrus cupped one of her breasts with his large hand and gave it a squeeze. Alyssa moaned and arched into the touch and he did it again. Her nipple hardened and he was watching it closely before lowering his head and flicking his tongue out to lick it. His tongue was much longer than hers and she was amazed to see it curl around her hard nipple, applying 360-degree pressure. It felt divine and she urged him not to stop.</p><p>Humming happily, he kept up the good work, before changing sides and giving her other breast the same treatment. Then he went back to squeezing them with his hands, Alyssa again on her back.
Suddenly he leaned forward and took one of her nipples in his mouth. His plates closed over it and she felt an incredibly careful nip. He was looking at her closely, gauging her reaction and she smiled at him.</p><p>“Just don’t bite it off, okay, it’s very sensitive,” she told him.</p><p>“But that felt good?” he asked, wanting to make sure she was alright.</p><p>“That feels really good, Garrus,” she confirmed, arching her back to put her nipple back in his mouth, where it belonged. At this, his humming kicked up a notch and she also noticed that his hard length was now pressed up against her leg.</p><p>When she tried to reach down to touch it, he grabbed her wrist before she made it.</p><p>“Nuh uh, hands off, Lys. It’s coated with fluid and I don’t want to trigger any reaction. We’ll get there, don’t worry, just not right now.”</p><p>She signed in frustration at not being able to reciprocate and at having to be careful about where she touched him. He solved her dilemma by placing her hands on his fringe and the back of his head.</p><p>“Touch me here instead. I promise I’ll like it,” he grinned at her before moving down her body. He was licking his way past her belly button and his hands were on her hips.</p><p>“Spread your legs, Lys, let me look at you,” he murmured against her stomach. She did as she was told and opened herself for him and she heard his breath catch. She looked down at him, her hands still running all over his fringe and the back of his head and he was looking up at her, smiling widely. Then he growled and the noise went right to her core. She was so wet already and he was able to see just how turned on she was by what he was doing to her.</p><p>“You smell fantastic, sweetheart. I can’t wait to taste you.” Clearly eager to start exploring, he lowered his face to lick at her wetness. They both moaned loudly, and Alyssa bucked her hips against him. He held her open with one hand, taking his time to calmly trace every inch of her. When he found her clit, he licked it carefully with the tip of his tongue and she keened, her body going rigid. The electric buzz on her skin picked up another few notches too. It felt wonderful.</p><p>“Careful, Garrus, that’s the sweet spot, baby,” she moaned, and he had such a dirty look on his face, not breaking eye contact as he licked her there again. She moaned and she closed her eyes, loving the way he was making her feel. It was delicious torture.</p><p>“Look at me, don’t close your eyes. I need you to see me,” he pleaded with her and she complied, unable to deny him anything. Happy with her eyes opening, he dove back in between her legs, now slipping his tongue inside her and lapping up her moisture. His tongue kept going deeper and deeper, and it seemed to Alyssa like he was burrowing into her very core. She was bucking her hips and screaming his name, the feel of him filling her like this overwhelming.</p><p>“Oh god, Garrus, that feels, oh fuck, that feels amazing. Please don’t stop,” she panted, frantically trying to keep some semblance of control over her body and failing rapidly. She barely remembered to keep her hands on his head and not squeeze, scratch or hurt him.</p><p>He steadied her hips with one hand, while his other hand was busy playing with her clit, rubbing small circles around it before occasionally flicking it unexpectedly. He was pushing his tongue in and out of her, as if it was his cock and he was finding delicious spots inside of her that his tongue would caress and made her moan loudly. He kept going until her legs were trembling. She was right on the edge, and she was losing all control of her body.</p><p>“Garrus, I’m so close, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” she cried out, only vaguely aware that she probably shouldn’t be making so much noise. Anyone passing her cabin would be able to hear her.</p><p>With a final flick of his finger across her clit, combined with his tongue hitting a particularly sensitive spot deep inside her, she came. Her whole body clenched and her back moved off the bed completely. Alyssa saw stars. She felt his tongue retreat and shuddered at the sensation. He nuzzled the inside of her thigh and then slowly made his way back up her body. When she came down a little, she looked at him and he was smiling proudly, coming to lie next to her, kissing her neck.</p><p>“You taste amazing and I love how you clench around me when you come,” he reported happily, his hand running up and down her waist as he idly played with her.</p><p>“That tongue of yours is fantastic, Garrus. Fuck, that felt good. Any exploring you want to do, you have my blessing and complete cooperation,” she promised him, smiling and kissing him.</p><p>“We’re not done, sweetheart, we’ve got all night,” he promised her. And with that, he got up off the bed and walked to her closet before she realized what he was doing.</p><p>Turning back with the box of condoms and opening a packet, he smiled at her lasciviously while he blatantly looked her up and down. She didn’t mind as she was doing the same thing to him.</p><p>“God, you’re gorgeous, Garrus. For the record, I can’t wait to be able to touch you, show you some Humans tricks,” she told him, gaze firmly on the large, thick length between his legs. She licked her lips for emphasis and Garrus’ eyes suddenly lit up in understanding.</p><p>“Wait, you can do that? Take it in your – Spirits, Lys, really, you would do that?” he exclaimed, stopping at the side of the bed in shock.</p><p>She gave him her most seductive look and said: “Garrus, I would love to suck that big cock of yours and make you come in my mouth. I can’t wait to taste you like you just tasted me.”</p><p>He growled loudly at her declaration and crawled on the bed, now having rolled the condom in place. He positioned himself between her legs and pushed her knees up and out.</p><p>“Oh sweetheart, that image is now seared into my brain. But seeing as you can’t take this big cock in your mouth right now, do you want me to fuck you with it instead?” His voice washed over her, fanning the flames of her desire for him, setting her nerves alight. She could almost feel herself gush at his dirty words and his obvious lust for her.</p><p>Alyssa could only nod, totally focused on his cock moving ever closer to where she wanted it to go.</p><p>He didn’t waste any more time, pushing into her completely. He was so wonderfully big and stretched her in all the right ways. She felt so full and when he started moving the friction was heavenly. She grabbed him, pulling him closer to her and wrapped her legs up around his waist, urging him deeper, silently begging for more.</p><p>He lowered his head to kiss her and thrust into her sharply, and she cried out his name, clenching herself tighter around his cock and causing him to shudder on top of her.</p><p>“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so tight, are you sure I’m not hurting you?” he whispered into her neck, his forehead resting there as he panted.</p><p>“You feel perfect, big guy, don’t stop, I love it,” she assured him, pulling his head up to hers, their eyes locked. His pupils were blown and so were hers. She was smiling up at him happily, and he grinned at her.</p><p>He picked up the pace then, somehow able to go both deeper and faster and she was left panting, frantically moving her hips to meet his thrusts. He kissed her again before moving his mouth to her neck and showering her with nips and licks. She was using her fingers to caress his fringe and rub the sensitive skin on the back of his head, causing him to growl and bite her harder, leaving small, sharp marks on her skin.</p><p>Remembering how sensitive Turian waists were, she dropped one hand down to caress him there. His breath hitched and the purring sounds he was emitting grew even louder. Not for the first time, she was reminded of a big cat and she couldn’t suppress a smile. Then she ran her nails across his abdomen, not hard enough to scratch, but he absolutely felt them, because he growled and bit her neck again, careful not to pierce the skin. He was using his mouthplates instead of his teeth, leaving cute, triangle-like marks all over her. Her body was positively humming, currents of desire running over her in waves.</p><p>Her ankles were locked together behind him and as she felt her orgasm approach, she pushed her feet against his ass and kept him in place. Clenching around his cock, a loud moan tore out of her as her body went rigid and then shook violently as she came all over him, her core muscles going haywire and pulsing wildly. This set Garrus off and he came with a roar of his own, throwing his head back and exposing his throat to her. She latched on instinctively, sucking on his neck and biting him when he moaned at her touch. They were both coming down from their mutual high, and Alyssa felt absolutely boneless under him, shattered by two orgasms in short succession.</p><p>Garrus’ head rested in the crook of her neck, and she had wrapped her arms around his shoulders, enjoying his weight on her body, listening to him catch his breath. She could feel his heart beating in his chest against her and she moaned as he withdrew from her and plunked down beside her.</p><p>“If I could do this, just this, with you every day, I would be a happy man,” he sighed against her shoulder, looking up with a relaxed, peaceful smile. He looked so happy draped around her; she felt a warm surge of love for him. He was so open and vulnerable, the opposite of the daunting apex predator the rest of the galaxy saw when they looked at him.</p><p>“You’d have a very happy woman next to you, big guy,” she smiled at him, stroking his fringe lovingly and he started purring softly at her touch.</p><p>“Can you stay with me? I know you don’t sleep as much as I do, and if you’d rather be in your own bed, that’s fine too of course, but I’d, - I’d really like it if you would stay the night,” she asked, silently cursing herself for rambling again.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’d love to stay. You’re a much better sleeping buddy than Wrex,” he teased her. She extricated herself from his grasp and walked over to the closet to pull out more pillows. With his carapace and fringe, he wasn’t going to be able to sleep otherwise. Propping them carefully under his head until he was comfortable, she crawled back into his open arms and settled next to him. She reached out to again stroke his fringe and he leaned into the touch. She nuzzled her nose against him.</p><p>“That’s not a remarkably high bar, big guy. Pretty much anyone’s a better sleeping buddy than Wrex,” she snorted.</p><p>“You’ve obviously never slept in a Turian dorm before. Wrex wasn’t kidding that our carapaces amplify the noises we make. It was like trying to sleep during thresher maw mating season. It’s a miracle we didn’t kill each other from sleep deprivation.”</p><p>She looked at him, lying next to her, relaxed and comfortable, stroking her naked waist absentmindedly.</p><p>“What was it like? You start your military training at such a young age. I mean, I left for university at eighteen, but even there, I still went home for every holiday and I wasn’t training for combat, I was in a relatively safe environment.”</p><p>He shrugged and considered his answer.</p><p>“It’s what’s expected of every Turian. It helps that you’re with kids your own age. It builds character and there’s room for you to figure out what you do well and train to become the best. That’s important for Turians, the chance to serve and to prove ourselves to society. But,” and here she could hear sadness creep into his voice, “it took me some time to adjust. I was lonely at first and missed home. It wasn’t until Decian joined us that I found a friend and started feeling better. The two of us have been together ever since. We finished training together and signed up for C-Sec together. We both made detective within a year of each other. This is the first time we’ve been apart since I was sixteen.”</p><p>She reached out to hug him and he wrapped his arms around her.</p><p>“Are you keeping in touch with him? I bet he wants to know how you’re doing,” she asked him gently. She could feel him nodding against her before he answered.</p><p>“I’ve told him where I am and how to reach me. I’m going to meet up with him when we get to the Citadel and catch up. Do you want to come along? I’m sure he would love to see you again.” The easy offer made her smile.</p><p>“I’d like that. I don’t think I can repay him for the kindness he showed me when he found me in the Presidium,” she agreed, touched by his thoughtfulness and how he just made room for her in his life.</p><p>“It’s a date,” he grinned, kissing her forehead and wrapping her up closely.</p><p>“Now get some sleep. You need to meet the crazy pellet lady again tomorrow morning.”</p><p>She chuckled at that and kissed him again, before turning around and wriggling her way into his lap. He closed his arm around her and nuzzled in her neck.</p><p>“Night, sweetheart,” he murmured in her ear. She just had time to return the sentiment before she dropped off, tired and sore, but feeling safe and sated.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I started putting in a chapter summary at the top. Let me know if you prefer it or not. I can go back and add them to the previous chapters if that makes it an easier read.</p><p>As ever, I'd love to hear what you think about the story, so please don't hesitate to let me know what you think!<br/>Thank you!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Accident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Garrus spends the night and they wake up together.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a short and smutty chapter, folks!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the alarm woke her up the next morning, Alyssa was sprawled along Garrus’ chest, her leg tucked in between his. When she looked up, Garrus was already awake and smiling at her. It was a great sight to wake up to. For someone who was used to sleeping alone, she was surprised by how well she'd slept or the fact that she hadn't instinctively wrestled herself free and curled up in a corner of her bed. Another look at him assured her that he seemed happy and comfortable, which was rather nice. </p><p>“Morning, Lys, slept well?” he asked in a soft, low voice that rumbled through his chest and hers. She stretched out, her arms and legs at all angles, before settling back against him and turning her head to look at him. </p><p>“Hmm, very well. You make an excellent pillow, big guy, who knew?” </p><p>She reached up to kiss him, before pausing, remembering she had morning breath.  </p><p>“What is it?” he asked, surprise in his voice. He’d clearly expected her to kiss him. </p><p>“Bad breath, Human thing. I don’t know if Turians have it, but it’s usually better to brush your teeth first before kissing someone. It’s the polite thing to do,” she explained, feeling a bit self-conscious. </p><p>“Huh, learn something new every day. When do you have to meet Ashley?” he asked. </p><p>“At 07:00. Bright and early, at least for me,” she replied, disentangling herself from Garrus’ embrace. </p><p>“Well then, you go brush your teeth so you’re comfortable, and then get back here. We’ve got some time and I’d like to take advantage,” he grinned at her and the look in his eyes was enough to convey his intentions and get her moving. </p><p>“I like how you think, I’ll be right back,” she smiled and threw some clothes on, before practically running to the bathroom, toiletry bag in hand. </p><p>She decided to not just brush her teeth, but also her hair, go to the toilet and get cleaned up a bit as well. She didn’t think she’d ever been that quick about it either, having to stop herself from running back to her quarters, worried that someone would think there was a problem on the Normandy. Surely Alliance intelligence people wouldn't run around a ship unless something was seriously wrong. So she walked, but as quickly as she could, eager to return to Garrus.

</p><p>When she got back, she threw her clothes off, not caring where she dropped them and jumped right back into bed and into Garrus’ waiting arms. He chuckled at her eagerness. Wrapping her against him, he lowered his mouth to kiss her with a smile. </p><p>“That’s better,” she sighed happily as she ran her hand across his chest. His hand was making small circles against her back and he moaned in agreement. She was already turned on, remembering their night together and touching him, being in his arms, increased that feeling. She wanted to explore a bit, and so she pushed herself up on her knees, Garrus’ looking at her with a surprised look on his face.  </p><p>She didn’t wait for him to comment, just moved her head down to his neck, her hands trailing her mouth, stroking his mandible and nudging his head to the side to give her access. He hummed and followed her lead, tilting his head to accommodate her. She kissed her way down, exploring his chest plates and his skin between them. She was able to touch it with her fingers, which was apparently a new sensation for Garrus, as he stilled when she did it. Looking up, she checked his reaction and saw his pupils blown in arousal. </p><p>“Is this alright, big guy?” she asked him quietly, keeping her hands on his chest, not moving. </p><p>“Hmm, that feels nice. I just wasn’t expecting quite such a delicate touch. Turians are much rougher, all talons and teeth," he explained. "But this is good too,” he rushed to add when he saw her frown. He pulled her up to kiss her again, trying to assure her. She leaned into the kiss, and slowly continued her caresses down his chest. The pleasant humming she was beginning to think of as Garrus’ was playing over her skin again, ramping up her arousal. His hand returned to her back, running his talons down her spine.  </p><p>When she made her way down and reached a large chest plate, she bit the edge of it, and he groaned his approval. Alternating bites with the softer caresses of her fingers, she explored every inch of his chest and abdomen. As she had hoped, his soft skin, or hide maybe, now she saw it up close, was very receptive to her manipulations. Another bite on the edge of his chestplate had him clench the hand on her back, his talons piercing her skin. The sensation registered, but, similar to his nips and bites, didn't cause her pain. The humming picked up a notch though, urging her on and making her focus on pleasure over pain. </p><p>She kissed her way down to his waist, caressing all over the unprotected skin there, softly nipping with her teeth, so blunt compared to his and stroking her fingers over every bit of it she could touch. She was getting swept up in his reactions and how he felt underneath her fingertips, the rougher structure of his skin as she kissed it, the taste of him when she licked. Garrus lost control of some of his motor functions, his hips thrusting erratically and his stomach muscles contracting. One of his hands was in her hair, and when she gave a particularly sharp bite, his grip tightened, and he accidentally pulled her hair. She hissed and he released her, muttering apologies, but she just looked up at him and smiled wickedly.  </p><p>“Having fun?” she enquired, and he could only groan, his sub-vocals firing off wonderful chirps and hums. She put her mouth back on his abdomen and sucked hard, creating a hickey, causing Garrus to cry out. </p><p>“Spirits!” he breathed, before giving her such a proud, lustful look that a shiver ran down her spine.</p><p>She chuckled, pleased that she could have such an effect on him. She glanced down, finding him out of his plates and fully enlarged and she groaned at the sight, turned on, but frustrated at not being able to touch him. He was watching her and noticed her disappointment and it was his turn to chuckle. </p><p>“We just need to be patient, sweetheart, I’m sure it’ll all fix itself soon enough,” he tried to console her. </p><p>She looked at him, the heat in her eyes unmistakable, and gave him her best pout. </p><p>“But I want it,” she whined with a smile and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud. </p><p>“Poor baby,” he cooed before reaching down to grab his length and stroking it slowly as she watched, mesmerized by the sight. With his other hand, he pulled her up, so that her head was on his chest, looking down at him stroking himself. His free hand snaked down her back and between her legs and she shifted to give him access. One of his fingers found her clit and started rubbing it, moving in small circles and she tilted her hips to grind into him. </p><p>Her hands were balled into fists to keep herself from reaching out. She desperately wanted her hand to join his in massaging that beautiful cock. She lay on his chest, panting, completely turned on by watching him and by what he was doing to her. </p><p>“I can’t wait for you to be able to touch me like this, Lys. I bet it feels so good with those soft hands of yours. With all your fingers stroking me.” </p><p>She whimpered at his words and he slipped a finger into her slit, pushing all the way in before rubbing along inside her. She was moving her hips in tandem to his finger, urging him in as deep as he could go. </p><p>“Or when you take me into your mouth and wrap your tongue around it, tasting me. I wonder what it feels like,” he whispered, and she moaned in desperation at the mental picture he was drawing. </p><p>Her hand on his chest was now raking her nails across his stomach and he hissed. She reached her other hand out to rub the back of his head and bit down on his throat when he tilted his head to give her access. He slid another finger inside her and she felt wonderfully full as he moved them in and out of her at speed, using his thumb to keep the pressure on her sensitive nub. She sucked on his neck where she'd bitten him and she could see the rhythm of his hand falter. She knew they were both close to their release and she moved her head to look him in the eyes.</p><p>“I’m so close, big guy, come with me, I want to see you spill all over yourself while I come on your hand,” she growled before attacking that sensitive spot on his neck again. </p><p>He growled and it was a full chest rumble, sending vibrations through her body and he increased the pressure on her clit, as he stroked himself to completion. She careened over the edge but looked down in time to see him come in big spurts all over his abdomen. It was one of the most erotic things she’d ever seen, and she was frozen in place, overcome by her own orgasm and from watching his.  </p><p>They didn’t notice that her hand was still on his abdomen until some of his fluid fell on the back of her hand. </p><p>“Garrus,” she whispered, looking at her hand, moving it up to show him. </p><p>He swore and made to move, but she stopped him. </p><p>“I feel fine, it’s not doing anything,” she assured him. Her skin wasn’t reacting at all to the presence of his seed. </p><p>“That’s good news, right?” she looked up at him to see him staring at her hand. She couldn’t really read his expression, but he seemed completely focused on the back of her hand. </p><p>Not getting any sort of verbal reaction, she decided to tease him a little. </p><p>“You have no idea how tempting it is to just lick it off my hand,” she whispered and that shook him enough to respond. </p><p>“Spirits, Lys, you will be the death of me. I was picturing the same thing. Wait till Chakwas clears you. I’m not explaining to Shepard if this sends you to the med bay,” and with that, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and extricated himself from the bed. He cleaned himself up and brought her some tissues to clean her hand. </p><p>“You need a shower, sweetheart, or every Turian within a mile of you today will smell me on you,” he said as they both stood, leaning into another hug. They would be arriving on the Citadel later today, and the thought of other Turians knowing she was with Garrus was strangely exciting. </p><p>“Pfft, I’m not ashamed. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite attached to you, big guy,” she said, kissing him. </p><p>“We’ll be all over the station, Lys, it’ll be safer if you don’t have Turian scent markers all over you. It brings out some really territorial behavior, and I’m not looking for a fight,” he informed her, and after listening to his explanation, she couldn’t help but agree. </p><p>“Alright. I’ll clean up, get my butt kicked by Ashley and then have a thorough shower. I’m guessing we’ll spend most of the day locked in with Anderson and Nihlus. And you’ll need to shower too, I’m guessing. Or don’t you smell like me?” she tilted her head and smiled. </p><p>He grinned at her with an extremely satisfied look on his face and said: “Oh, I absolutely smell like you. And I’m guessing I’ve got a marvelous mark on my neck as well. Spirits, I love it when you bite me,” he told her fondly. </p><p>She checked his neck, and there was indeed a lovely Human bite mark on his pulse point. She smiled and nodded proudly in confirmation and he put his forehead against hers, content to just hold her there for an extended moment. </p><p>“Okay, I’m getting dressed before I start something I won’t have time to finish,” she laughed and grabbed her clothes and toiletries. </p><p>She walked out of her quarters happily buzzed, that electric sensation she had come to associate with Garrus still running currents all over her. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy. She had to put it out of her mind, however. With Ashley in mind and afraid of what she would do if Alyssa showed up late, she hurried to the bathroom and got cleaned up quickly. She changed into her workout gear and practically ran down the stairs to get to her appointment on time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Getting the band back together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Normandy reaches the Citadel, reuniting them with Captain Anderson and Nihlus. We meet our favorite Salarian and Ashley stumbles upon a secret.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Training with Ashley was again exhausting, but she was enjoying herself. She liked pushing her limits and seeing what she was capable of, and Ashley tapped into that instinctively. She didn’t go easy on Alyssa and for that, she was grateful. If she wanted to be part of the team, she had to be measured along the same standard. </p><p>She kept thinking of the movie G.I. Jane, and the wooden step they put on the obstacle course that Demi Moore’s character had to use because women were held to different standards than men. She was under no illusions as to the fact that she wasn’t nearly as tough as the woman in the movie, but she liked to think that Ashley could measure up. And Ashley was training her and wasn’t cutting her any slack. </p><p>In fact, the last hour was spent on hand-to-hand combat and Alyssa lost count of the number of times she landed on her ass or caught a slap to the face because she didn’t block in time. </p><p>When they were done, Ashley called her over and put medi-gel wherever she found a mark or bruise. It seemed like her whole face was covered in gel, but she felt better. When Ashley tried to check her neck and shoulders as well, she begged off, not wanting the other woman to see the marks that Garrus had left on her. It was probably best not to antagonize the xenophobe responsible for training her. It was perhaps an unkind thought, because Ashley hadn’t made any further comments to her about any of the non-Human team members, but she didn’t want her relationship with Garrus to be a sore point between them. Not when Ashley was doing her a favor by training her and they were getting along. </p><p>When they were wrapping up, drinking some water together and discussing some of the techniques that Ashley had shown her, Ashley suddenly looked excited about something and turned to her. </p><p>“Alyssa, we’ll get to the Citadel today. I just remembered, there’s a big Alliance training facility there, and it will allow us to run field simulations. I’ll ask Kaiden to join us, it would be really good practice for you. Let’s go there tomorrow morning and we can spend a few hours going over the basics in a live environment. What do you think?” She looked at Alyssa expectantly and the sheer enthusiasm was difficult to resist. </p><p>“That sounds like a lot of fun,” she told her, and Ashley nodded. </p><p>“I’ll check with Kaiden today, see if he has time. And I’ll make reservations. Make sure to bring your armor and weapons, you’re going to need them.” </p><p>“Alright, thanks, Ashley. I’ll see you later. I need a shower,” she sniffed herself and then recoiled slightly, “badly,” she added, and Ashley laughed and waived her off. </p><p> </p><p>By the time she was clean and dressed in the Alliance uniform Anderson had provided, the Normandy had docked at bay 422 of the Citadel and John was issuing instructions to the crew that would remain on board. </p><p>When he saw her coming, he smiled, before sternly pointing his finger to indicate somewhere behind her. Turning around, she was confused and when John saw her face, he chuckled and said: “You aren’t going off this ship dressed like that. Armor on, we’re working.” </p><p>Behind him, Joker was laughing quietly, hiding his amusement behind his hand, but Alyssa spotted him and narrowed her eyes at him. The situation reminded her of those sitcoms where the teenage daughter wanted to go to a party dressed in a short dress and the dad sends her back up the stairs to get changed. </p><p>“Yes, dad,” she smirked at him, letting her shoulders droop dramatically as she turned and went back to her room. </p><p>She could hear Joker’s laugh behind her as she made her way back. She hadn’t had a chance to wear her armor yet, and truthfully, it seemed a bit strange. She’d never had to wear full body armor before. During her CIA training, she’d sometimes had to wear a bulletproof vest, but a full suit was something else entirely. She wasn’t really sure how to go about it, or what you wore underneath. </p><p>Thinking about it, and with this morning's training still fresh in her mind, she decided to ask Ashley for help. She called her and fortunately she came over immediately. </p><p>“What is it, Alyssa?” she asked as she walked into Alyssa's room, unsurprisingly already in her white armor with the red accents. </p><p>“Shepard wants me to wear my armor, but I’m not sure how it works. I’ve never worn it before. I feel like an idiot for having to ask, but can you help?” </p><p>“You’re not an idiot, come here, I’ll help,” Ashley said, patting her on the arm. </p><p>“Let’s see,” she said, digging into Alyssa’s closet. “You’ll need a set of under-armor clothes. They’re skintight, but they breathe and prevent chafing.” She found a package that Alyssa hadn’t even opened yet on the bottom of the locker and pulled it out. </p><p>“This should be it. Put it on,” she instructed, giving her the box. Alyssa opened it and found a dark colored, full bodysuit. She put it on her bed, which she blessedly had the foresight to straighten before she’d left and turned to take off the uniform she was wearing. </p><p>She heard Ashley checking the rest of the locker, presumably hunting for her armor. She wasn’t really paying attention, focused on figuring out how to put the suit on. </p><p>“I keep my underwear on, right?” she asked uncertainly and heard Ashley laugh. </p><p>“Yeah, unless you’re a lot more adventurous than I am,” she replied. “Which, judging by this, you are,” she continued with a surprised tone. </p><p>Alyssa turned her head to see Ashley holding the box of condoms in her hand, an amused smile on her face. It was clear that the box had been opened and some of the wrappers were missing. When she looked at Alyssa, dressed in just her bra and panties, her eyes focused on the bruises on Alyssa's neck. Her eyes narrowed as she processed what she was seeing. </p><p>“Jesus, Alyssa, what the hell?” She walked over to her and turned her around, tracing something on her back. </p><p>“Are these, shit, are these talon marks?” she looked at Alyssa sharply. Busted. </p><p>She was watching Ashley carefully and was glad to see surprise more than disapproval staring back at her. </p><p>“They are," she confirmed. As Ashley inspected her skin, Alyssa stood tall, unashamed and unapologetic about her relationship with Garrus. </p><p>"And these?” Ashley asked her, pointing at the bruises on her neck, in various stages of purple, green and yellow as they healed. </p><p>Alyssa tilted her head, letting Ashley get a closer look. “Bite marks, well love bites, really. All totally wanted, don’t worry. I’m a consenting adult,” she assured her. Ashley checked them closely and seemed incredulous that Alyssa would allow this to happen to her.</p><p>“But who? - Garrus,” she answered her own question and Alyssa nodded, a big smile on her face. </p><p>“Is that going to be a problem?” she asked her a little more sharply than she'd intended. The close scrutiny had put her on edge a little. Ashley seemed startled by the question. Alyssa could see her think it over and waited patiently. </p><p>Finally, Ashley looked at her warmly, a small smile playing across her features. </p><p>“Are you happy?” she asked and when Alyssa nodded, she continued: “Then it’s not a problem. I’ll admit it wouldn’t be my personal choice, but it’s also none of my business. You are absolutely a braver woman than I am, though, I’ll give you that.”  </p><p>At her last remark, both women giggled and then couldn’t stop. Alyssa was relieved more than anything. She was starting to like the stern Gunnery Chief and would have hated it if this stood between them becoming friends.</p><p>“Is he, - I mean, are Turians, - how does it, well?” Ashley tried to ask before trailing off uncertainly. She looked like she thought she might have crossed a line. </p><p>“Different, but similar enough, is that what you were asking? Or do you need me to be more specific?” Alyssa teased, enjoying the blush that crept up Ashley's face. </p><p>Alyssa was relieved to see she wasn’t the only one that could have one on board. A seasoned marine like Ashley, blushing at the thought of sex with a Turian, now that was funny. The brunette quickly shook her head, her curiosity apparently sated. </p><p>Alyssa, meanwhile, turned around to slip the under-armor on and make sure it was properly fastened. It fit well; Anderson's tailor had done an excellent job on such short notice. </p><p>On firmer ground now, Ashley helped her into her armor, showing her how the clips and fasteners worked. She complimented the quality of the armor, and Alyssa felt better, knowing it would likely keep her safe if anything happened. She also showed Alyssa how to sync it to her omni-tool and how activate the shielding on it. Next, she explained how to administer medi-gel via the suit and how to extend the helmet. It was embedded in the back and extended over her head with the press of a button on the side, or an omni-tool command. The first option was faster than the second option, but safety was all about redundancy.  </p><p>Once Alyssa had put on everything including the boots, which surprisingly, were more comfortable than they looked, she also showed her how to activate the magnets so she could space-walk or stick to the floor in case gravity failed. Memorizing all of it, Alyssa thanked her profusely for the help, and impulsively reached out for a hug. After a moment’s hesitation, Ashley returned it and both women smiled at each other. </p><p>“Now you look like a proper soldier, Alyssa. Oh, one more thing. Come with me downstairs,” Ashley ordered. When Alyssa looked confused, she explained.  </p><p>“You think Shepard will let you off this ship unarmed? Let’s get you sorted.” </p><p>Alyssa almost facepalmed again. How could she have forgotten about the weapons? She felt like such an idiot. </p><p>When they were in the armory, Ashley inspected the racks critically before selecting a pistol. </p><p>“This is the Raikou IV. It’s reliable, accurate and not too heavy. Clip it here, in your side arm slot on your dominant side,” she said, giving her the pistol and thermal clips to reload. Alyssa took it, checked the safety was on and loaded a clip before slotting it into her side. The thermal clips went to a clip lock in the back. Ashley nodded approvingly.  </p><p>“Good, always check the safety is on, and if the weapon is loaded. Never just trust what someone hands you.” </p><p>She turned back around, moving to the assault rifles section. While running a critical eye over the weapons, she asked Alyssa: “You’re certified for assault rifles, right?” </p><p>“Yes, ma’am, and shotguns,” Alyssa replied, and Ashley nodded with a smile. </p><p>“Good. You’re going out fully equipped. I’m not taking any chances and Shepard will have my ass if something happens because I didn’t outfit you properly. And I don’t even want to think about what Garrus will do to me if you get hurt.” </p><p>She stopped in front of one particular rack and nodded to herself. She picked up the assault rifle and turned to push it into Alyssa’s hand. </p><p>“Here, take this one, it’s the Tsunami V, it’s highly effective. You put in on your back. You’re left-handed, right?” At Alyssa’s nod, she said: “Good, then clip it right, easier access.” </p><p>After checking the clip and the safety, Alyssa stowed away the weapon and the ammo, feeling more like an actual soldier by the second. </p><p>“And take the Katana V, it’s small and pretty light. Here, this is how you collapse it. It goes here, in the small of your back.” Alyssa nodded and secured the weapon. </p><p>“Take this medi-gel, it goes here, over the port. And I think you should also have some cryo explosives.” Alyssa stowed all of it away in the various pouches and clips. For a split second, she was sorry there wasn't a mirror so she could check herself out, but then suppressed that thought. She was supposed to be a professional, not someone playing dress-up.</p><p>“Thanks, Ashley, for your help. I appreciate it. I feel like a tin soldier, and I hope I don’t panic if anything happens, but at least I’ll be prepared.” With another smile and a hug, they parted, and Alyssa turned to the elevator. </p><p>“Good luck today with Shepard. I’ll join you for the Council meeting.” </p><p>Alyssa nodded and stepped into the elevator. As she made her way to the CIC, heads turned and Navigator Pressly smiled at her, wishing her a good day. When she approached the cockpit, she saw Garrus and John waiting for her. When they spotted her, their smiles widened and they were looking her up and down appreciatively, making her melt a little inside. </p><p>“Looking good, Red, let’s go see Anderson,” John said. He was in his N7 armor, dark grey with red and silver accents. It brought out his deep blue eyes and emphasized his broad shoulders and chest. She had to work hard to suppress her desire, aware they were still in view of the CIC, not to mention the crew seated in the corridor who were within earshot.  </p><p>“Hey, Cleo, you look pretty badass, come back safe, okay?” Joker hollered from his chair, and she went over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.  </p><p>“Behave and I’ll bring you back something nice,” she teased him, and he chuckled. </p><p>“Come on, Lys, busy day, don’t keep the captain waiting,” Garrus urged her and she walked over to him. </p><p>“That armor’s really working for me, by the way,” he purred in her ear as they left the ship. She gave him a playful elbow poke and whispered back: “Right back at you, big guy.” </p><p>The three of them made their way to the docks. John explained that they’d be going directly to Captain Anderson’s office and that Nihlus and Mordin were waiting for them there already. They hopped into a skycar and the guys smiled as Alyssa was plastered to the window, taking in the sights of the Citadel with a huge grin on her face. </p><p> </p><p>When they entered Anderson’ office, she couldn’t stop rushing inside past John and making her way to Nihlus, who was standing off to the side of the desk, near the bar. </p><p>“Alyssa, it’s good to see you. How are you?” Nihlus greeted her as he wrapped her into a hug. </p><p>“It’s good to see you again.” She looked him over critically and hummed to herself when she saw he was alright. He quirked an eyebrow and she felt a bit embarrassed. </p><p>“I sent you out there, and I can’t predict what happens to you. It leaves me on edge, and I want to make sure you’re in one piece,” she told him self-consciously. He gave her an indulgent smile and gave her a full turn, arms outstretched. </p><p>“I’m fine, Alyssa, best Spectre in the galaxy, remember,” he grinned before giving her another hug. “But thank you for worrying,” he added quietly, so she was the only one who could hear him. </p><p>Only after she’d released him did she become aware of the rest of the room’s occupants. Captain Anderson was standing behind his desk, watching her in amusement and she went to him next. Obviously expecting it, he opened his arms so she could give him a hug too. She hadn’t had as many hugs in the last five years as she’d had since she’d been here. </p><p>“It’s good to see you, Alyssa, the armor looks good on you,” Captain Anderson complimented her. </p><p>“You look good, Sir, Citadel life agrees with you,” she teased, and he huffed, both of them knowing he’d rather be out on the Normandy with them. </p><p>She finally noticed Mordin in the corner, looking at the proceedings with an amused grin on his face, alternating between watching them and typing away on his omni-tool and she couldn’t help but give him a big smile. As she had with the other companions she’d met in real life, there was something surreal about seeing Mordin in the flesh. He was as tall as she was, slim build like all Salarians, his complexion pale with red hues. His right cranial horn was broken and she recalled that had happened during the deployment of the Genophage modification on Tuchanka. It was a physical scar to match his emotional ones. She knew he was still reconciling his past work with his ethics. His capacity for unflinching self-reflection was one of the things she appreciated about him.</p><p>She walked up to him, and Garrus and John followed her. </p><p>“Professor Mordin Solus, please meet Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian of the SSV Normandy,” she introduced them and each of them reached out to shake his forearm.  </p><p>“Disadvantage for me, young lady, don’t know who you are,” he said in his rapid-fire way. </p><p>“Oh, right, I’m Alyssa Adams, nice to meet you. Thank you for coming with Spectre Kryik, Professor,” she told him, grasping his forearm as well. </p><p>“Intriguing. Not every day Spectre comes with secret mission of extreme importance, asks for my help personally. Was just setting up clinic, enjoying the challenge of working with limited resources. People on Omega need help. Hope this is important enough. Please explain details,” he said. </p><p>“Of course, we’ll explain everything.” When she turned, she found Garrus and Nihlus greeting each other politely and John was sharing an amused look with Anderson. </p><p>“Let’s go to the meeting room next door. We can all sit down and get to work,” Anderson offered, and they all filed out to the adjoining room. Drinks and snacks had been set up around a table large enough to seat up to twelve people. Vid screens were set up on opposite walls and the window was tinted for privacy reasons. Judging by the amount of food, Anderson obviously expected them to be there a while. </p><p>Once they were all seated and had a drink in front of them, Captain Anderson turned to John and asked him to get started. With a final smile at Alyssa, he nodded to Anderson and cleared his throat. All attention on him, he began. </p><p>“We’ll start with a quick explanation for Professor Solis. My apologies in advance, Professor, we won’t be able to answer everything in detail right now, but rest assured we will answer any questions you have in due course. After that, I suggest letting the good professor retire to decide what he wants to do and we'll continue with the rest of the meeting.” </p><p>He looked around the room and everyone agreed. John explained the highlights to Mordin, the fact that Sovereign was a Reaper intent on the destruction of organic life and that an invasion was imminent. He explained that indoctrination was a key factor and that he hoped the professor would be interested in finding out a way to counteract it. He pulled up the footage from Eden Prime, showing him Sovereign, and explaining what they’d found so far. </p><p>Mordin was listening intently, the way only he could, and then asked how they could possibly know all this. As had been the case when they’d briefed Liara, the rest of the room turned to her, Garrus flashing her a bright smile as if to say, ‘you’re up’. </p><p>She took over then, explaining how she got there, again showing the footage of her arrival on the Citadel and that she knew what would happen here. Then she offered to take him back to Anderson’s office so he could ask her whatever he wanted to know to ensure she was telling the truth. </p><p>He nodded and immediately stood up, always the man of action. She followed him, putting a reassuring arm on John’s shoulder on her way out. </p><p>“What would you like to know, Professor?” she asked him politely while he took out his omni-tool and scanned her. </p><p>“Have everything here. Normal Human readings. Heart rate normal, blood pressure normal, pupil responses normal. Not sweating. No indicators of deceit,” he rattled off the results of his scan. </p><p>Folding her arms, she looked at him and waited. </p><p>“Why me? Setting up clinic on Omega. No one knows about me,” he asked her. </p><p>“You’re brilliant and your work on the Genophage modification was brilliant too. But you’ll come to regret it once you see the suffering of the Krogan and the desperate measures they go through to improve their odds at conceiving healthy children. One of your former protégées, Maelon Heplorn, will work with the Krogan to undo the Genophage. His methods are brutal, and subjects die. Maelon regrets helping you modify the Genophage, but believes the end justifies the means and doesn’t regret using live subjects for his experiments, something you consider barbaric,” she explained. </p><p>He looked at her in surprise, a calculating look on his face. Suddenly, she realized that if he thought she was a threat, he might take her out right there. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought. </p><p>“I know you broke that horn on Tuchanka and I also know you like Gilbert and Sullivan. The theater productions you were part of had you do the patter songs,” she said, smiling at the memory of him singing. </p><p>“I hope you can forgive me for this, Mordin,” she said before launching into the song. </p><p>
  <i>“I am the very model of a scientist Salarian, </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’ve studied species Turian, Asari and Batarian. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m quite good at genetics,  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>as a subset of biology, </i>
</p><p>
  <i>because I am an expert, </i>
</p><p>
  <i>which I know is a tautology. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian, </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I am the very model of a scientist Salarian.” </i>
</p><p>She looked at him and he was staring at her, speechless for once. Finally, he shook himself and said: “Very well, will accept hypothesis for now. Will think about joining Shepard and let you know. More work to do for clinic, will stay here until you finish meeting. Thank you, miss Adams. You are - very interesting.” </p><p>She nodded and let him be. They would be alerted if he tried to leave, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t. Mordin liked puzzles, and right now, that’s what she was. </p><p>Entering the meeting room, she found John explaining some of what they’d found out about Saren, as well as some of what Alyssa had told them about future happenings. She sat down and listened quietly. He was in charge after all, and she would add details or answer questions when he couldn’t. </p><p>As with Garrus and John, both Anderson and Nihlus took certain facts a bit harder than others. After about an hour, they broke to stretch their legs and let the news sink in. They also wanted to check on Mordin. </p><p>Trooping out of the room, they saw him work on his omni-tool, muttering quietly to himself, totally immersed in whatever was on his screen. He looked up as he saw them come in and closed his screen to focus on them. </p><p>John walked up to him and asked him point-blank if he wanted to stay and help. After a quick look at Alyssa, he nodded and shook John’s hand. </p><p>Captain Anderson then told them that he’d taken the liberty of securing one of the existing labs in the Alliance Science Building on the Citadel specifically for Mordin. Alyssa was pleasantly surprised and gave Anderson a grateful smile.  </p><p>Keen to get started, as usual, Mordin asked if he could see the lab and get set up. He indicated he had a few things he was still completing for the clinic and had some leftover chores for STG before he could dedicate all his time to indoctrination. Alyssa explained that she had some other things she’d like him to look at as well, and that got the attention of the room. She ignored them for now, taking Mordin by the elbow and promising to come see him tomorrow for a full briefing. He agreed and Captain Anderson called one of his aides to escort Mordin to his new lab. </p><p>They all thanked him and said their goodbyes. Mordin was already focusing on his omni-tool before the door to the office closed. </p><p>As one, they all turned to Alyssa. Trying, and failing, to look innocent, she shrugged and said: “What? I’ve got some ideas, and he won’t be able to get started on indoctrination until we come back from Feros. It’s a sin to let a mind like that go to waste, you know.”  </p><p>John narrowed his eyes at her but didn’t comment. </p><p>“Anyway, we’ve got more important things to discuss, right? Like the meeting with the Council?” she prodded them. </p><p>“Fine, off the hook for now, but don’t think we won’t be revisiting this later,” John told her sternly and she had to swallow a moan. Stern John was sexy. </p><p>Instead, she smiled at him sweetly and said: “Whatever you want, boss man,” before traipsing back into the meeting room. The guys followed her and she could hear Garrus' amusement as his sub-vocals trilled.  </p><p>They spent the next hour going over the plan for the meeting with the Council and, with that settled, went back to discussing what Alyssa had revealed of upcoming events. This took several hours, and while it was worthwhile and the team came up with some good ideas, Alyssa’s lack of sleep the night before, coupled with the exhaustive workout Ashley had given her that morning, was taking its toll. When Garrus finally noticed her nodding off for the third time, he stood up, and gave John a look asking for approval. When John nodded, he picked Alyssa up to put her on the couch in Captain Anderson’s office.  </p><p>“You get some rest, sweetheart, we’ve got it. Any questions can wait until you wake up,” he whispered in her ear before putting his forehead against hers.  </p><p>With the angle of the room, no one at the conference table could see what he was doing. She nodded vaguely and was out immediately. Garrus made sure she was comfortable, putting a small pillow under her head, and tucking her legs and arms in so she wouldn’t wake up with them at odd angles. </p><p> </p><p>She woke up some time later to voices filtering into the room. The meeting had evidently finished, and the team was moving back into Captain Anderson’s main office. Once she figured out where she was, she felt embarrassed, but before she could say anything, Anderson waived her off.  </p><p>“No need to apologize, that couch has had many tired marines on it, not to mention tired captains,” he joked. “Everybody needs a break sometimes, and Garrus explained how you’ve started training with Williams. That’s good, Alyssa. So, don’t feel bad for needing to recoup some of your energy,” he told her kindly and she nodded gratefully. </p><p>No one was looking at her oddly, even Nihlus had a soft expression and gave her a wink. She could tell both John and Garrus were refraining from coming over to sit with her and touch her. Some things were still private, as much as they trusted the other two to help them with the Reapers. </p><p>“So, you’ll be happy to know we agreed on how to approach the Council meeting. Nihlus and I will be on the dais. I’d like you to be up in the gallery. Captain Anderson, Garrus, Kaiden and Ashley will be there with you. Stick with them, please, don't go wandering off. And no touching the Keepers, I don't care how cute you think they are,” John told her, laughing when she huffed indignantly. She could at least bounce one of their little antennae, it wasn't like the little guys were violent or anything. No way John would notice. Her face must have looked a little rebellious, because he grinned and shook his head, though he was smiling. Fine, she could be a grownup for a little while at least. Especially today, when they expected John to be made the first Human Spectre. </p><p>“Thanks for letting me be there. I hope it goes well,” she replied, smiling at him. </p><p>“I’ve told Kaiden and Ashley to meet us here, and we’ll go up together. They should be here in about fifteen minutes, so feel free to use the bathroom if you want to freshen up or grab a drink or some food before we have to leave,” Captain Anderson offered. </p><p>Alyssa was hungry, so she stalked over to the food, grabbing a fizzy drink promising to taste of cherries as well as a chocolatey snack before returning to the couch. </p><p>Nihlus joined her and chatted with her for a bit, telling her about how he found Mordin and what a chatterbox he was en route to the Citadel. She laughed with him, relaxing in his company. She hadn’t really noticed before, but she’d been tense about the meeting with the Council and being tired hadn’t helped her mood either. </p><p>All too soon, Kaiden and Ashley announced themselves and they all trooped out of the office to go to the Tower for the Council meeting. Captain Anderson grabbed her elbow lightly and held her back, making them the last two to walk out. He leaned over to whisper in her ear. </p><p>“It’s all set. She should be in the gallery with us. I’ll introduce you, but you can’t miss her, same dark hair and blue eyes.” She gave him a bright smile and a hug. </p><p>“Thank you so much, Captain, for making the arrangements.” </p><p>“Don’t mention it, I’m just glad we can pull off another one of your good ideas.” He gave her a conspiratorial wink and then increased his pace, so they caught up with the rest of the team at the elevator. John gave her a questioning look when he saw her pleased smile, but she shrugged and shook her head, unwilling to spoil the surprise.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. The Spectre</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa's surprise is revealed and Shepard becomes a Spectre so celebrations are in order. For Alyssa, Garrus and shopping are on the menu as they enjoy some time off.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I decided to post this one a little early, so two chapters in one day. Hope you like it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once they reached the top floor of the Council Tower, Alyssa, Ashley, Kaiden, Captain Anderson and Garrus split off from Nihlus and John at the stairs, going up to the gallery to watch the proceedings, finding a good spot near the railing, so they had an unimpeded view of the dais. </p><p>Nihlus and John looked very imposing in their armor, and Udina was there as well. She was glad to see he was relegated to the back though. She couldn't stop herself from glaring at him, her dislike for the opportunistic, perpetually offended politician flaring when she saw him up there, acting as if he deserved to be there, basking in glory that didn't belong to him. Before she could burn a hole in his skull using only the power of her mind, Captain Anderson spotted who he was looking for and took Alyssa to meet a tall, dark-haired woman, who looked to be somewhere between fifty and sixty years old, wearing an Alliance uniform adorned with admiral markings. Her eyes were a familiar striking blue. She looked kind and the wrinkles around her eyes were mostly laugh lines, which Alyssa took as a positive sign. </p><p>“Admiral Hannah Shepard, please meet Specialist Alyssa Adams, she works with John, and it was her idea to invite you today,” Captain Anderson said, smiling warmly at both women. </p><p>Alyssa extended her hand, shaking it enthusiastically, while John’s mom smiled at her. </p><p>“Thanks for this. I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of my son,” Admiral Shepard told her, a gleam in her eye as she turned her head to track John for a second before settling her gaze back on Alyssa. </p><p>“I’m so glad we were in the neighborhood and could stop over for a few days. I’m guessing you haven’t told John,” she continued, and Alyssa smiled and shook her head. </p><p>“No, Captain Anderson and I thought he’d like the surprise,” she replied. </p><p>Just then, they ran out of time to talk, because the Council had arrived, and the meeting started. It went almost completely according to plan. The Council took their evidence seriously, revoked Saren’s Spectre status and placed him on the intergalactic wanted list. Saren, of course, had already fled, so this was a formality more than anything else. </p><p>Nihlus gave an impassioned speech about investigating the potential threat of the unknown species that seemed powerful enough to turn a respected Spectre like Saren away from his loyalty to the Council. The evidence clearly showed Saren acting out Sovereign's orders, and the Council ordered further investigations into both Saren's activities and Sovereign himself. It was going better than what she’d come to expect from the Council. Having solid evidence obviously helped. </p><p>And then it was time to discuss John. Nihlus put him forth as a Spectre, saying that he’d completed his evaluation and was satisfied that he would make a good addition to the elite team. Considering the evidence he’d gathered, the Council agreed and named him the first Human Spectre. Even from the gallery, she could tell John was extremely humbled by the fact. Udina was fawning all over him, but he carefully ignored it. </p><p>Garrus had come to stand next to her and had put his hand over hers on the railing, both of them proud of their friend. When John looked up to the gallery, smiling broadly at them, he spotted his mother standing next to Alyssa and he clasped his hand in front of his mouth in shock. His mom smiled at him, pride coming out of her every pore, and Alyssa grasped her hand as well. Admiral Shepard looked at Alyssa when she felt the touch, and, seeing the same fierce pride and emotions mirrored on Alyssa’s face, both women hugged each other in happiness. </p><p>And just like that, Commander John Shepard became the first Human Spectre. </p><p>Once the formal part of the ceremony was over, and the Council had ended the meeting, they all went down to John; Alyssa and his mother leading the way. When they met, he wrapped Hannah Shepard up in a rib-crushing hug, spinning her full circle before releasing her. </p><p>“Mom, you’re here, I can’t believe it. How did you-,” he asked before his eyes narrowed as he figured it out. </p><p>“Never mind, I know. Thank you, Red. This is the best surprise ever,” he told her, giving her a big hug. </p><p>“Congratulations, John, you deserve it,” she whispered in his ear before she let go. There were a lot of people wanting to shake his hand and wish him well. Alyssa dropped to the back, standing next to Nihlus, smiling at the goings on around the Shepards. </p><p>“You looked good up there, Nihlus. Thanks for having his back.” </p><p>“Flattery will get you everywhere, Alyssa,” he smiled at her, making them both laugh.  </p><p>Garrus came over to join them as well, and snuck an arm around her waist, pulling her close and quickly dropping a kiss on her temple. </p><p>“He looks happy, Lys, I can’t believe you were able to get his mom here. Look at them,” he said, smiling as he watched how happy John was.  </p><p>She took in the scene; John was standing next to his mother, smiling at her as he held her, one arm around her shoulders while hers was in the small of his back. She looked every inch the proud mother she was, her son having achieved something so remarkable. </p><p>Once the well-wishers had finished talking to them, John turned around to find them standing a little ways off, all smiles, and walked up to join them, his mom still firmly planted at his side.  </p><p>“Well, this has certainly been an interesting day,” Admiral Shepard said, looking at their assembled friends and shipmates.  </p><p>“I was hoping to take you all to dinner, to celebrate,” she continued and after looking around, and at John, who nodded, they all agreed to join them. The whole gang trooped out and Captain Anderson had arranged for dinner at a dextro / levo restaurant he liked before they’d even left the Tower. They agreed to meet there in a few hours, to give those that wanted to change out of their armor a chance to do so. John peeled off to catch up with his mom, and the others left as well, stating various errands they needed to run, or wanting to go back to the Normandy. </p><p>Garrus and Alyssa were left by themselves and she gave him a smile that spelled trouble.  </p><p>“What do you have in mind, Lys?” he asked, amusement lacing his voice as he picked up on her mood. </p><p>She grinned and said: “There’s a fancy dinner tonight, and I haven’t got a thing to wear. Help me shop?” She put on the pout again, and he growled lightly, remembering the very different situation she’d deployed it in earlier that same morning. </p><p>“That lip is going to be my undoing. Very well, let’s go get something I’ll want to tear off you later,” he agreed, his grin slightly predatory. </p><p>“That’s the spirit, big guy. And if you’re nice, I’ll let you sneak a peek in the dressing room,” she teased him, grabbing his hand. </p><p>They took a skycab to the shopping district, and she wasn’t surprised to see the variety of shops was much larger than the game had indicated. She saw a likely looking shop off to the side and dragged Garrus into it, grinning like a madwoman at the thought of doing something as normal as shopping with her boyfriend.  </p><p>Deciding expediency was key, she walked up to the shopkeeper and asked for a green, skintight dress she could move around in, and the lady nodded. She asked Alyssa to step into the dressing room and start removing her armor. Her under-armor went next and she teased Garrus, who was standing outside the cubicle, opening the door so he could catch a glimpse of her in her underwear. She turned her back to show him the talon marks that Ashley had noticed, and she could hear the pleased purr coming from his sub-vocals. </p><p>The shopkeeper came into the room carrying about six dresses, all different shades of green, all in her size and Alyssa tried them on, twirling for Garrus to show off her legs and the dress. She picked two, both a beautiful dark green. She picked up several sets of matching underwear, which were also to Garrus' liking and a nice pair of shoes to complete the look before donning both her under-armor and her armor again. Once she was finished, she looked at Garrus in alarm.  </p><p>“Garrus, I don’t know how to pay for anything here. How does it work?” He just chuckled and pointed to her omni-tool.  </p><p>“Just waive it around when the lady hands you the device. I’m sure Tali will have set it up for you,” he assured her. </p><p>It worked just as he had said it would and she came out of the shop looking happy, with clothes to wear to dinner that night that actually resembled something she would have worn on Earth. </p><p>“What time is it? Can we make a run back to the Normandy, so I can stow my gear, shower and get to the restaurant?” she asked Garrus, some panic creeping into her voice. </p><p>“Not unless you time travel again,” he quipped, and her heart sank. She’d bought the clothes she needed to look nice in, and now she couldn’t wear them. </p><p>“Come to my place, it’s close. You can shower there and change, and then we’ll have plenty of time to get to the restaurant. No point rushing all over the Citadel,” he offered easily. </p><p>“Shower with me?” she asked with a dirty grin and his smile was all the answer she needed. </p><p>***</p><p>It turned out his apartment was a five-minute walk from the store, and so, after a minor detour to buy Alyssa some things Garrus definitely didn't have, like shampoo, a hairbrush and a hairdryer, before she knew it, she was standing in his small apartment. One bedroom, a bathroom, a small living room and kitchen. It was impeccable, as she’d expected. Garrus adjusted the environmental controls to refresh the air while she admired the picture of what looked to be the Cipritine skyline hanging on the wall. She bent over when she spotted a smaller picture beside the couch in the living room. Picking it up, she turned to him with a smile. </p><p>"Garrus, is this your family?" she asked, taking in their faces and grinning when she saw a familiar smirk on a younger Garrus. His mother was pretty, with soft open features and his father managed to look foreboding even in a casual family picture like this. The younger Garrus had his arms around his mother and his sister. She couldn't be sure, but judging by how young Solana looked, Garrus couldn't have been more than a teenager when this picture was taken. He walked up to her and pulled her close, planting a kiss on the top of her head. </p><p>"Yep, that's the Vakarian clan," he confirmed, sounding sad as he stared at the picture. </p><p>"How old were you here? You look so young," she asked. </p><p>"Seventeen. This is from one of my first trips back home after I started military training. I was so happy to see my mom and Sol again, couldn't believe how much she'd grown since I'd been gone," he answered. The melancholy in his voice tore at her heart.</p><p>"Your mother's beautiful, Garrus. You have the same coloring. Solana takes after your father a bit more, at least in this picture. You can tell she's a troublemaker though, look at those eyes," she grinned, trying to lift his mood. </p><p>"Oh, she is absolutely a troublemaker, not that anyone ever believed me when I accused her of something. She can turn on the charm like nobody's business. That, she gets from my mom," he added, now purring softly. </p><p>"You inherited that too, you know. You can certainly charm the pants off me," she smirked, wagging her eyebrows at him suggestively. </p><p>"Put the picture down and get your pretty ass into my bathroom, Lys. Then we'll see who charms who here," he growled, taking the picture and returning it to the exact same spot. She swallowed her teasing remark about Turian attention to detail when he gave her a heated look and took her hand to march her into the bathroom. </p><p>“You can put your stuff in the bedroom and everything we need is in here,” he said, pointing to a small cabinet that held towels and toiletries. </p><p>They then grinned at one another and raced to get their armor off. They spent some time together in the shower, washing the worst sweat off, but mainly focusing on each other. With their newfound knowledge that Alyssa wasn’t allergic to dextro fluids on her skin, she was finally able to touch Garrus the way she wanted. </p><p>Tracing her fingers over his pelvic plates, she felt him give a full body shiver and smiled up at him, the dangerous look in her eyes making him growl. He was standing under the shower head, catching most of the water, and looked delicious with it streaming down his body, snaking a path between his plates. The sight was enough to make her weak in the knees.  </p><p>She ran her fingers up and down over the edge of the pelvic plates, teasing the opening and running her other hand over the sensitive skin on his waist. Garrus was watching the hand teasing his plates carefully, and she could hear his labored pants and felt the vibrations of his humming run through her ribcage as well. </p><p>She leaned over and remembering how much he liked it, bit into one of his chest plates and growled, enjoying the sensation of being so rough with her partner. The decidedly Turian action worked on Garrus and she felt his plates opening and his length dropped into her waiting hand. Semi-erect and covered in glistening lubricant, she couldn’t help but admire it. She closed her hand around his thickness and slowly moved her hand up and down, applying pressure and adding rotation to it to see how he reacted. She was humming happily at finally being able to stroke and pleasure him. </p><p>She loved the sensation of how slick he was, and she was now in a position to notice the subtle differences between his cock and a Human one. Other than the obvious size difference, there were little protrusions, almost like ridges across the length and when she stroked them, Garrus’ humming picked up noticeably. She added her other hand to increase the pleasure and he liked that as well, judging from the thrusting he was doing. </p><p>“Your cock is amazing, big guy, it feels so good in my hands,” she cooed, hoping the running water wouldn’t drown out her voice. He moaned helplessly and reached out to put his arm around her instead. </p><p>“Your hands are amazing, sweetheart, all those fingers, Spirits,” he told her, holding on to the wall with one hand, while the other stroked up and down her arm, encouraging her to keep going. </p><p>She let one of her hands drop down to stroke his balls, and it was her turn to gasp, finding four of them tucked in together. She’d known of course but feeling and seeing were definitely different. Softly running the tips of her fingers over the skin of his protective sac, marveling at how it was hairless and smooth like the rest of his skin, she felt the humming deepen and heard Garrus whispering. </p><p>“Careful, sweetheart, they’re very sensitive. No biting, scratching or pulling,” he warned her, and she grinned up at him and nodded. </p><p>“Got it, big guy, don’t worry, you’re safe with me.” </p><p>Finding a rhythm stroking him that he seemed to enjoy and using her other hand to softly caress his balls, she watched him give himself over to her, his pleasure increasing and his control slipping. The sight of this big strong man before her, completely at her mercy, was a huge turn on. She was soaking wet and it had nothing to do with the shower. She was rubbing her legs together, trying to get some relief herself, but with both hands occupied and Garrus completely distracted, she’d have to wait. The familiar buzz was back in full force, and made her skin hum out in pleasure. If anything, it was slightly more intense every time they were together, and she thought she might be able to run a lightbulb off it and giggled at the thought. </p><p>She felt his breath hitch and his hips started thrusting erratically and she knew he was close. </p><p>“Come for me, big guy, come all over my hands, baby. I’ve got you,” she urged him before leaning in to bite the edge of his chest plate again. </p><p>With a loud groan, Garrus tensed for a long moment, before coming all over her hands and her stomach. She looked on, fascinated, and proud that she was the cause of such a strong reaction. This massive guy turned to putty in her hands. She released him as he softened, and, after cleaning her hands in the spray, ran her hands around his waist, giving him little aftershocks as he shuddered in her arms. He wrapped her up in a big hug and kissed the top of her head before she tilted her head up to look at him and then he moved down to kiss her. </p><p>“You gorgeous woman,” he whispered, kissing her again and she melted at the warmth in his voice. He’d apparently recovered a little from his orgasm and was now intent on returning the favor. </p><p>“Think you’d be up for another round? I’ll make it worth your while,” he growled in her ear, his hand moving down between her legs. </p><p>When he found her slit, he groaned at how wet she was, and she smiled up at him. </p><p>“Ready and waiting, big guy, I’m all yours,” she panted as he slid a long finger into her, slowly pushing deeper before he removed it, making her sigh in frustration until he brought it up to his mouth. Wide-eyed and horny, she watched his long tongue flick out and wrap itself around the finger, coated in her fluids, licking up every last remnant until it was all gone. He locked eyes with her, acutely aware of how turned on she was as he took his time to taste her. </p><p>"Fuck, that's hot," she muttered, mesmerized, before she snapped out of it when he let his hand drop down to her hips. </p><p>Unable to keep still, she moved one hand up to stroke his fringe, moving to the back of his head where she knew he was sensitive and he tilted his head back, enjoying her ministrations. </p><p>“Those fingers of yours, sweetheart, they are fantastic. You know just how to touch me,” he groaned, exposing his throat. </p><p>She reached up on her toes and kissed his neck, slipping her tongue out to kiss and lick her way to his pulse point. He put his hands on her hips to steady her, making sure she wouldn't slip on the wet floor. She nipped him lightly and felt him stiffen in anticipation. </p><p>Smiling into his neck, she murmured: “Do you want me to mark you again, show everyone you’re mine?” </p><p>She was listening for it, or otherwise she would have missed it over the noise of the shower. </p><p>“Spirits, yes, Lys. Please.” </p><p>Bringing her hand up to the other side of his neck for leverage, she sank her teeth into his neck, biting down hard, but not breaking the skin. It would absolutely leave a beautiful bruise though. </p><p>Garrus’ sub-vocals went nuts, humming loudly and erratically and when she looked at him, she saw a blissful smile on his face. He opened his eyes and they found hers. There was something feral in his look, something wonderfully possessive and with a growl, he pulled her flush against him, her soft skin against his rough plates. He’d recovered from his earlier orgasm and his cock was wedged between them, the feel of him rock-hard against her sent a shiver down her spine and it was her turn to moan. </p><p>He moved sideways, so he could grab at something in the cabinet in the corner, not caring if everything got wet. </p><p>As it turned out, Garrus was stocked up on condoms, so with some maneuvering, they got him sheathed in the protective cover before he lifted her completely and put her legs around his waist. He positioned her with her back against the shower wall and without delay, pushed himself inside her. She keened, the full sensation overwhelming, ecstatic at finally feeling him fill her. She closed her ankles behind his back and pushed, urging him to move.  </p><p>His hands were on her ass and hips, and her arms were around his neck, keeping herself upright against the wall. </p><p>“Fuck me, Garrus, give me all of you,” she begged, and it was the push he needed before moving her hips up and down, thrusting inside her. She was now sure the condom diminished some of the sensation as she couldn’t feel the ridges she’d felt when she had her hands on him earlier. She couldn’t focus on it for long however, because the glorious thickness and length of him were overwhelming her capacity for rational thought.  </p><p>Soon she was reduced to loud moans and wails of pleasure as Garrus sped up to a relentless pace, pounding her against the wall. She tilted and ground her hips as much as she was able in her position. Garrus looked at her sharply and she gave him a dirty grin before tightening her core muscles. Garrus growled and thrust into her harder and then it was her turn to growl.  </p><p>As they neared their peak, by unspoken agreement, they both made room for the other to nuzzle into the crook of their necks. Alyssa bit down on his shoulder, hard, but not breaking the skin and a second later, she felt Garrus latch on and bite down on her, thankfully using his mouth plates instead of his much sharper teeth. The pain enhanced the buzzing of her skin and it pushed her over the edge. She came hard, clenching around Garrus, setting him off too. They were both panting, lost in their pleasure. Alyssa was glad Garrus held her up because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand. He leaned forward and was using the wall for stability. When he softened inside her, he tilted his hips and slid out, slowly letting her down, making sure she could stand before releasing her. She dropped her head against his chest. </p><p>“That was absolutely amazing, Garrus, damn. Consider me thoroughly <i>charmed</i>.” Her voice came out cracked and broken and she grinned up at him when she noticed. </p><p>He could only purr at her, completely spent, but he nodded happily in agreement. They stayed like that for a little bit before she remembered they actually had some place to be. </p><p>“Garrus, the dinner. Shit, we need to get ready,” she told him, urging him to hurry.</p><p>He groaned but kissed her before rinsing off quickly and stepping into the bedroom to get dressed. </p><p>She did the same, quickly cleaning herself up and toweling off. Getting dressed together without getting sidetracked proved more difficult than they’d thought, but they finally managed when they agreed to turn their backs.  </p><p>She slipped on her underwear, appreciating the feel of the smooth silk and the patterned lace on her skin, before putting on the dress. It covered her shoulders and her bruises there, but the one Garrus had left in her neck was noticeable. She decided to style her hair so it fell over that shoulder and shielded her neck from prying eyes. She just had to remind herself not to sweep her hair away. She was quite sure John wouldn’t mind, and if he reacted anything like he did the first time he saw a Garrus-induced bite, she’d be a happy woman, but his mom wasn’t likely to be that open-minded. And she wanted to make a good impression, the woman was obviously important to John. </p><p>She put on the shoes last and turned to look at Garrus. He’d also changed and looked very handsome in a blue suit that matched his colony markings. He was staring at her in clear adoration. </p><p>“You like?” she teased when he didn’t say anything. </p><p>“I like,” he confirmed with a dirty look. </p><p>Garrus gave her a bag to stow her armor in and offered to carry it for her as they traveled to the restaurant, getting there just as most of their party was arriving. </p><p>***</p><p>As they wound their way through the various tables to reach their assigned one, John saw her walk up with Garrus in tow and gave her a dirty grin as she approached him. He stood up to give her a hug, wrapping his arms around her tightly and whispered in her ear: “You look gorgeous, Red. Can I tear this off you later?” </p><p>On their way over, she and Garrus had agreed that she’d spend the night with John, if he wanted her to.  </p><p>“However you want to celebrate, John, I’m yours for the rest of the night,” she purred in his ear. They pulled apart with wide, matching smiles and they arranged themselves across the table. </p><p>They greeted everyone and thanked Hannah, as she insisted they call her, for inviting them to dinner.  </p><p>Hannah sat at the head of the table, John on one side and Ashley on the other. Alyssa sat down next to John, with Garrus on her other side. Next to Ashley, Kaiden sat down, with Nihlus on his other side and finally Captain Anderson at the other head of the table. It was nice and comfortable.  </p><p>Looking around for the first time, Alyssa noted the restaurant was upscale, the setting cozy, if a little formal. The wait staff were a mix of Humans and Asari, and the music was melodic and soft enough not to intrude. Their party was located off to the side, for additional privacy, and bottles of wine and water were already on the table, waiting for them. </p><p>When they were all seated and had drinks, Hannah stood and turned to John. Her eyes shone with love for her only child and Alyssa felt tears welling up at the obvious display of affection. Hannah had a full smile on her face and gestured warmly at all of them before starting her speech. </p><p>“John, we are all so proud of you. The first Human Spectre, you did it. Now, you’ll be the first to say you didn’t do it alone, but indulge your mother for a moment, please. I was proud of you when you made 'N7', even prouder when you received your Star of Terra. You represent the best the Alliance and Humanity have to offer the galaxy and I couldn't be prouder to be your mother. You’ve become everything I ever could have wanted for you and I know your father would be proud too. Congratulations, honey. I love you.” </p><p>She raised her glass and they all toasted John. His mom reached over and kissed his cheek, and John blushed at the attention. It warmed Alyssa’s heart to see them like that, and she couldn’t stop a brief trip down memory lane at her own parents’ pride when she’d graduated university.  </p><p>John was quickly engrossed in conversation with his mother. He’d obviously missed her. He reached out a hand however, and put it on her bare thigh, gripping her gently. She put her hand over his, just letting him feel she was there. </p><p>They spent the evening happily chatting away, and she was glad to see Nihlus jumping in as well, sharing some of his Spectre stories. They were all impressive, but Nihlus was modest and didn’t brag. Kaiden was developing a fanboy crush on Nihlus as the night wore on, asking for more stories and complimenting him on his prowess. She caught Nihlus’ eye once or twice and they shared a smile at his antics. She was sure this wasn’t the first time this had happened to Nihlus and he didn’t seem to mind.  </p><p>Sometime after the main course, Nihlus and Garrus were discussing the current politics in the Hierarchy and while it was interesting, she quickly got lost in the minutiae. She chose to focus on her left instead, and found John in conversation with Hannah, Ashley and Kaiden. They were discussing what life was like on the Normandy. She leaned in to listen and smiled as she heard Ashley and Kaiden talk about the various quirks of the ship, like communal showers, which was a Turian idea incorporated in the design. Hannah laughed and looked at John with a raised eyebrow and he shook his head laughing. </p><p>“Don’t look at me, the commanding officer has his own bathroom. I’m not in there, I have no idea what goes on,” he explained.  </p><p>The banter between them was easy and relaxed and they all worked Hannah into the conversation. Hannah, in turn, was very informal, blending into the group easily. </p><p>When Alyssa joined the conversation, Hannah perked up and a sly look slid over her face, gone in a second, but Alyssa had noticed. John had removed his hand from her thigh as the food had come, but had replaced it now she leaned over to hear what they were saying. On her other side, Garrus had relaxed his posture, one of his long arms draped over the back of her chair, while he sat discussing Turian politics with Nihlus and Captain Anderson. Subtly, in a completely non-verbal way, they had both laid claim to her. </p><p>When she looked at Ashley, the other woman threw her a wink and smiled before returning to the conversation at hand. Hannah turned her focus on Alyssa and asked her how she was settling in on board. John gave her thigh a small squeeze to encourage her, and she smiled at Hannah before answering. </p><p>“It’s been a bit of an adjustment. I’m not a spacebrat like John,” she answered, giving him a playful nudge, “but everyone’s been really nice. I’m sure it will feel more natural in no time.” She kept her response generic on purpose, unsure of how much John would have told her, and not really willing to discuss it in an unsecure location. </p><p>“John told me this is your first posting on a ship, you’ve been Earthbound before that,” Hannah enquired carefully, and Alyssa got the message. She’d picked up on John’s interest in her and wanted to know more about the woman her son fancied. </p><p>“Yes, ma’am, I can’t honestly say it was a particular career goal to serve on a ship like the Normandy, but I go where the job takes me and where I can make a difference. Being on the Normandy certainly allows me that chance.”  </p><p>She flashed a proud smile and realized that she wasn’t lying. She was happy to be able to make a difference and looking around the table now, she felt like she was surrounded by friends and family, or at least the makings of them. She was in a good place, and once more, felt a small bit of tension release and disappear that she hadn’t realized she was holding onto. </p><p>As the conversation flowed back to other people, Alyssa relaxed and sat back to listen. John was enjoying himself, inserting funny remarks or explaining things to his mother about their companions. He seemed completely engrossed, but his hand was creeping up her thigh, before sliding back down as she closed her legs slightly.  </p><p>She shifted in her chair and opened her legs up a little, allowing him better access should that be what he had in mind. It took him almost no time to notice as he slid his hand back up without even looking at her, animatedly discussing the Geth attack with his mother and Ashley, with Kaiden adding details about the husks they found. His pinky finger slid right up against her underwear and her breath caught as he wriggled it around, stroking her with the length of it. Her attention was completely focused on what his hand was doing, and so it was a shock when she heard her name. </p><p>“- right, Alyssa? I mean, you were watching with Captain Anderson, those bombs were huge, and Shepard disabled them so fast, while under fire, I might add. It was really impressive,” Kaiden pulled her into the conversation.  </p><p>She must have looked a bit flustered, because he gave her an odd look, before she rallied and nodded in agreement. </p><p>“It was. He’s very impressive on the battlefield, effective and efficient. Like Nihlus,” she added, hoping to inspire Kaiden to go off on a tangent. </p><p>John looked at her, and smirked, well aware of why she was distracted. She leaned over to whisper in his ear. </p><p>“Look at the left side of my neck, John,” and she swept her hair out of the way before putting it back in place, giving him a split second to check out the bruise. His eyes flicked up to her and she knew he’d seen it. The hunger in his eyes would have melted her on the spot if they were alone. As it was, she wanted him properly worked up, like he was doing to her. </p><p>“Play nice and I’ll show you the rest of them later,” she purred in his ear before pulling back and resuming her previous position. She did however, cross her legs, denying him access. She did not feel like embarrassing herself in front of his mother. She could see John swallow hard and surreptitiously adjust himself and she allowed herself a small smile.  </p><p>Desserts were brought out and the group was enjoying themselves. It was a rare chance for all of them to relax and get to know each other without a mission pending. They stayed for a round or two of after-dinner drinks before it got late and they had to get back to the Normandy.  </p><p>Garrus would stay in his apartment and meet them the next day. Ashley informed Kaiden and Alyssa that the training facility was booked for noon, the only available slot on such short notice and they both nodded in agreement. </p><p>Garrus then offered to continue sniper training and booked some time on the range for the next morning. She agreed to meet him at 9:30 and he smiled at her before saying goodnight to all of them. He walked up to Hannah and shook her hand, thanking her for a wonderful dinner and a lovely evening and Alyssa melted at his chivalrous behavior.  </p><p>Nihlus gave her an amused look, and she cursed at not hiding her expression well enough. When he saw the inner struggle play out on her face, he gave her a cheeky grin and she glared at him. That set him off completely and he was now laughing out loud, very obviously amused at her discomfort. </p><p>Ashley interrupted, to Alyssa’s surprise, herding them all to the exit, babbling about an early start to the next day and being well rested. They all thanked Hannah, who was staying in her apartment in the Alliance complex. Captain Anderson offered to escort her there, his own apartment apparently close by. Nihlus excused himself and gave Alyssa a hug before walking off, thankfully refraining from teasing her further. </p><p>The four of them, Ashley, Kaiden, John and Alyssa, went back to the Normandy. Alyssa had picked up the backpack that Garrus had given her and slung it around her shoulder. John took one look at her with the big bag hoisted over her shoulder and just reached out to take it. When she wanted to object, he glared at her. </p><p>“No, Red, that dress looks way too nice on you to ruin it with that backpack. Besides, I owe you one. I still can’t believe you managed to get my mother here. I haven’t seen her in three years, we’ve always been too busy. So, no, this is the very least I can do.” </p><p>She nodded and he gave her a happy smile. Maintaining a professional distance, they were just four crew mates returning to their ship. </p><p>When they came on board, Navigator Pressly announced John was back and they said their goodbyes. Ashley and Kaiden left and Alyssa retrieved her backpack from John. She mouthed ‘five minutes’ and held up one hand, fingers spaced and he nodded, smirking. Then she turned around and went to her quarters, as fast as her heeled feet could take her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Shepard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa and Shepard celebrate his promotion to Spectre privately. It's smutty smut, people, if that's not your thing, it's probably best to skip this chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her heart fluttering with excitement and anticipation, Alyssa entered the captain’s quarters and found the lights were dimmed. They had both been waiting for this, for some time to themselves without interruptions. Time to connect and find out what they could be. He had been clear about wanting to be with her and had accepted her attraction to Garrus. At first, she'd been surprised, then touched and humbled by the way they'd adapted to sharing her affections. And while she'd had some opportunity to indulge herself with Garrus, she and John had been interrupted the few times they'd attempted something more physical. But tonight was going to be the night. She had him all to herself and she was determined to take advantage of that fact. </p><p>John was sitting behind his desk, but turned as soon as she walked in. She was still wearing the dress she wore at dinner, and the heels too. Not changing her outfit had been the right choice, judging by the wide smile John gave her. He was still wearing his uniform, looking handsome as ever. He stood up and walked up to her, closing the distance between them eagerly.  </p><p>“Hey, beautiful. Come in,” he practically purred in her ear as he gave her a hug. </p><p>“You’re looking pretty good yourself, there, John.” </p><p>He took her hand and walked her to the bed, then moved to hug her from behind, his arms slipping over her waist. </p><p>“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, you know,” he whispered in her ear. At his words, a familiar warm feeling started spreading through her body. Her hands wrapped themselves around his arms almost automatically and they stood there, enjoying the closeness and the anticipation of what was to come. </p><p>“Me too,” she confessed, “but fantasizing about it has been fun.” </p><p>A small groan escaped him, blowing his warm breath against her ear and neck. She shivered, that warm feeling in her stomach tightening. He moved her hair back and groaned when he saw the bruise she’d teased him with earlier. </p><p>“Again, Red, that is so fucking hot. I can’t wait to see the rest of them,” he whispered in her ear.  </p><p>“I’ll show you all of them, don’t worry. But first, tell me, John, how long has it been?” </p><p>“How long has what been?” he responded, sounding confused. </p><p>“How long has it been since you’ve had sex?” she explained, keeping her voice teasing and light. </p><p>“Not counting what we started yesterday?” he asked cheekily.</p><p>“Obviously not counting what we started yesterday.” </p><p>“You really wanna know, Red? Alright, I guess the last time was just before I joined the Normandy as Executive Officer.”  </p><p>She kept him firmly behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist and moved her head slightly to the side, giving him better access to her neck. She tilted her head a little to look at him and said: “How did you meet? Was it a one-time thing?”  </p><p>“Aren’t you curious?” he said, smiling when she nodded. “Okay, I went out with some of my old crew and there was this pretty blonde at the bar who kept looking at me. You know, impressed with the Star of Terra and all that. I took her back to my hotel room. It was a one-time thing; she was gone the next morning. I’d rather focus on being here with you.” </p><p>He kissed her neck when he finished and she ran her hands up and down his arms, pressing her ass against his pelvis and enjoying his push back into her. </p><p>“Hmm,” she moaned, “I’m happy that you’re here with me now. But tell me about it, inquiring minds want to know,” she teased him as she took his hands and slowly moved them up to her breasts, squeezing them, encouraging him to do the same.  </p><p>He got the hint and started running his hands all over them, squeezing, rubbing and pinching her nipples through her dress. </p><p>“Fuck, Red, they’re amazing.” He kept up his ministrations on her breasts and she relished in the pressure of his hands and the warmth of his body against her back. Her nipples were rock hard, the fabric of the dress enhancing what he was doing to her as the soft material caressed her skin. </p><p>“Tell me about it, John, give me details,” she goaded him. “What was it like? Did she suck your dick? Did you eat her out and make her come on your tongue? Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.” Her voice was low and husky now, completely aroused by what his hands were doing and how he kept kissing her neck and nuzzling her hair. </p><p>“You’re killing me, dirty girl,” he whispered into her neck and the desire in his voice tingled right down her spine. “Fine, I’ll tell you all about it. You want all the juicy details?” She nodded slowly.  </p><p>“We took a cab back to my hotel and she was all over me, hands everywhere, rubbing my cock through my pants, you know the deal. The whole Star of Terra thing really got her going, I guess. I was happily buzzed and more than a little horny, so I didn’t mind. When we got to the room, we just went straight to business. We undressed each other, got on the bed and I dropped down and ate her out. She came all over my face,” he told her, and she could feel his grin against her neck. </p><p>As if to emphasize his story, his hands reached down and under her dress, finding her panties and sliding his fingers up and down the outside of them, feeling how wet she already was. His hand cupped her mound, giving it a gentle squeeze. His mouth was kissing her neck before he stopped and whispered in her ear: </p><p>“Then I pushed her on her hands and knees and fucked her from behind. It was rough and hard. She came again all over my cock before we finished.” </p><p>He pushed his erection into her ass, still covered by the dress. It seemed like his hands were everywhere, roaming all over her, exploring and teasing every inch. She moaned, pushing back into him, sliding her hand between her ass and his cock, and wrapped around it, stroking slowly up and down. It was his turn to moan, and he moved down her neck to her shoulder, sinking his teeth into the fabric. </p><p>“Just like that, baby, that feels great,” he breathed into her ear. "Did you like my story, Red?”  </p><p>“Very much, John,” she murmured against him. The easy confidence he showed with his words and with how he touched her turned her on and allowed her to relax in his arms.</p><p>“Now tell me yours,” he demanded, nipping her neck and then soothing it with a wet kiss and a stroke of his tongue. </p><p>She was so happy he was indulging her, and everything he did to her made her feel good. She was soaking wet already, and fast losing focus, but this was her idea, and him playing along was a most welcome surprise. She'd thought John was the verbal type, but she was more sure of that by the minute. And as the talking worked for her as well, she was excited to share her own story. </p><p>“I’ll tell you about the last guy I was with before I got here. I met him in a bar, he was a sailor on leave, had been stuck on a ship for six months. I noticed him as soon as he walked in. Tall, pretty blue eyes, he was still wearing his uniform and wearing it well," she began, smiling when she felt his smirk against her skin. </p><p>"Are you telling me you have a type, Red?" he whispered, clearly amused. </p><p>"Maybe I do," she conceded as she did her best not to let John's wandering hands distract her. "He was well built, with a kind smile and a nice cock,” she added, and squeezed his, before continuing: “not as big as yours, though. We drove to my house, and he was driving me crazy the whole way over. Hand between my legs, making it hard to concentrate on the road. I was so revved up; I swear I was on my knees before we’d even entered the living room. It was so hot. He came in my mouth before returning the favor, eating me out while I was up against the front door. Then, he fucked me up against the wall, slamming into me hard from behind and when we finally made it to the bedroom, we went for thirds on the bed. He left the next morning and he texted me a few times, but I never saw him again.”  </p><p>Her hand snaked up to caress his neck and back of his head, and his hands were fumbling for the dress’ zipper. </p><p>“Did he make you cum, baby?” he breathed in her ear, nipping her earlobe. She didn’t think she could be more aroused, and she was still dressed. Their night together was off to a good start. </p><p>“He did, but only once, so I kicked him out without breakfast.” She gave him a small smirk.  </p><p>He chuckled at that and finally turned her around. “Well, I’m going to do better than that,” he promised and pulled her dress off. </p><p>She was wearing a green bra, made of silk and lace, with matching panties and he groaned loudly as he took her in.  </p><p>“Jesus, Red, you look fantastic,” and he pulled her taut against him. His hands went back to her tits, and his mouth followed. He pulled the cups of her bra down, freeing her nipples and sucked them into his mouth hard. </p><p>She moaned appreciatively and when she spoke, it sounded like a hoarse croak: “Like that, fuck, just like that.” </p><p>She reached back to unclasp her bra and he threw it across the room. </p><p>“Let me go on record and say I love your tits, Red, my god.” She laughed a throaty laugh and nuzzled his neck. </p><p>His eyes went to her shoulders, where Garrus had left more bruises and he groaned loudly. She grinned, noticing where his focus was, running her fingers over the sore spots. </p><p>“You like it,” she noted as she watched his heated gaze track her marks, and he nodded. </p><p>“Hmm, so do I,” she agreed, turning around to show him the talon marks on her back. He traced them with his fingers, before kissing his way down her back. He slid her panties off, determined to get her naked.  </p><p>She turned to let him look at her. His arousal was evident and his need for her was clear from the way his eyes almost burned a hole right through her. </p><p>“You are overdressed, Commander, so get naked,” she chided him. </p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” he grinned up at her before standing up and moving back a little so she could remove his uniform. The shirt he wore underneath went next. Giving him a thorough once over, her eyes darkened with desire. He was very well built, with bulging muscles that could only come from training and active duty. Scars crossed his arms and chest, white marks that had faded with time. Evidence that he wasn't impervious to harm, not that she needed the reminder. There was a larger scar across his left pectoral muscle, and she reached up to trace it with her finger. She looked up at him with the question in her eyes, and he replied: “Elysium, shrapnel from Batarian explosives. Some blood loss, no permanent damage.” So matter of fact, detached, this soldier in her arms. </p><p>She bent slightly to kiss along the scar, before dipping her head and catching his nipple in her mouth. Sucking on it first, and then giving it a friendly nip. He sucked in his breath and groaned. She smiled against his nipple, before giving the other one the same treatment.  </p><p>Her hands drifted down to his trousers, while his moved to her hips. He grabbed her ass while he kissed her, giving it a good squeeze. When she moaned, he slid his tongue in her mouth and deepened the kiss. Pure lust unleashed inside her. She needed him naked right now. She made quick work of his trousers and underwear, pulling them down to his knees, with Shepard chucking them all the way off.  </p><p>She reached out for his cock, rock hard between them and closed her hand around him, slowly moving up and down. He moaned and threw his head back, enjoying the sensation.  </p><p>“Tell me what you need, Commander, what you want me to do to you,” she pleaded, looking at him with lust-filled eyes, a wide, mischievous smile on her face. </p><p>He got the message loud and clear and the smile on his face matched hers. This was what he needed from her and she knew it and was happy to give it to him. </p><p>“On your knees, baby, suck me off.” Exactly what she wanted to hear. With a triumphant smile, she dropped to her knees and opened her mouth. </p><p>He slid his cock past her warm lips and she immediately sucked him in, closing around him and swirling her tongue. He buried his hand in her hair, keeping himself steady, letting her find her rhythm, as least for now. She moved her hands to his hips, before grabbing his ass and pulling him in deeper, paying attention to his moans and groans and how his breath became increasingly erratic. </p><p>“Fuck, yes, don’t stop, oh god,” he muttered as she sucked and licked, looking up at him to see him lose control. She brought him to the edge before slowing down, and when he seemed to regain some of his control, she varied her technique until he was again panting incoherently above her. </p><p>When she thought he couldn’t take much more, she leaned back, letting him pop from her mouth and whispered: “Cum for me, I want to taste you,” before swallowing him whole. </p><p>He couldn’t help but obey her quiet command, groaning as he released in her mouth.  </p><p>She held him steady from below, letting him lean on her while he slowly regained his senses. When he came back to her, he lifted her up and kissed her soundly.  </p><p>“You are a very talented woman, Red. And that mouth should be illegal. Now get on the bed, I have a promise to keep.” </p><p>Grinning at him and pleased with herself, she did as he asked, positioning herself on top of the sheets. She was anxiously awaiting his touch, hopelessly turned on and watched him closely as he moved with predatory grace to lie next to her, reaching out to wrap his arm around her waist and to kiss up her shoulders and neck. His mouth went up, from her shoulder to her neck before nipping her ear and moving to her lips. His hand moved south, from her waist to her hip and down the outside of her leg. His hand moved back up her leg as they were kissing, and he applied light pressure to her knee, nudging her to spread her legs. She complied and he moved slowly up, his fingers grazing her inner thigh, causing goose bumps to break out and a moan to escape her lips. He smiled into their kiss, and then finally moved his hand to where she needed it to be. She was so wet, and he noticed immediately when he slid his fingers over her core. Spreading her labia, he slipped one finger in and then another, slowly pumping in and out, circling her clit with his thumb. She sighed blissfully, happy to find that he knew what he was doing. </p><p>His mouth left hers and started traveling down, lingering at her breasts briefly, but there was no mistaking his intention. He stopped to look up at her when he reached her belly button, licked around it and gave her a devilish smile. </p><p>“I’m going to make you scream my name when you come on my tongue, Red. And then I’m going to make you do it again.” The confidence in his words sent a shiver down her spine. He moved down, settling between her legs and started licking her clit, using the same focus and determination he showed on the battlefield. Being at the receiving end of all that attention was a heady experience. She braced herself, hands clutching his bed sheets as he drove her wild.</p><p>Alyssa, her sanity holding on by a thread, didn’t take any time at all to reach her first orgasm. She lost control, breath stopping in her throat, heart throbbing in her ears as her body pulled taut and exploded. As her breathing returned, she glanced down to see John look at her with a pleased grin on his face, covered in her wet secretions. He looked delicious and naughty and very proud of himself. </p><p>However, all he said was: “One,” before he dove right back in, apparently deciding she’d had enough of a breather to recover. Working his magic with his fingers and his tongue, he made sure she built up to her second orgasm more slowly. She was able to reach out and touch him, and moved her hands first to the back of his head, and then to her breasts, pinching her nipples and cradling her breasts in her hands, a view he seemed to enjoy, judging by the appreciative groan he gave her. He was carefully overwhelming her senses until all she could feel was pleasure as she let go and gave herself over to him.</p><p>Then he curled his fingers inside her and for the second time, her vision faded to bright white, her muscles seized, and she came, screaming his name. </p><p>As she was coming down from her orgasm, he moved up beside her, kissing up her body, but keeping it light, allowing her to slowly find her way back to him. When he pulled level with her, she kissed him on the lips, tasting herself on him. </p><p>“Two,” he teased when she pulled away. “Enjoying yourself so far?” he asked with a fake innocent smirk, cocky and confident. </p><p>“I hadn’t realized we’d started already, let me know when you get going,” she playfully replied. He threw his head back and laughed, and she joined him, happy with the relaxed atmosphere between them.  </p><p>“Mean, Red, really mean.” </p><p>He shook his head at her as he smiled and traced her nipple with his finger. When it hardened under his touch, he stopped: “See, your body knows it’s having fun. But I guess  I’ll have to up my game to impress you,” he continued, a lascivious look on his face. He reached for the nightstand to grab a condom, quickly putting it on before he moved to position himself between her legs. She followed his every move, silently willing him to hurry up and take her, desperate to finally know how it would feel. </p><p>“Well come on then, Commander, don’t hold back, give me all you’ve got,” she challenged him, smirking up at him while she licked her lips. </p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” he said, and kissed her deeply, sliding his tongue into her mouth and finding hers. </p><p>She nearly lost her mind as he sank right into her, thrusting hard and deep, not giving her time to adjust before he pulled back and pushed in again.  </p><p>Her breath faltered, her bravado from just a moment ago completely gone, and she moaned loudly, overwhelmed by the feeling of him entering her at last.  </p><p>“There you go, baby, you feel so good, so tight and wet for me. I love it,” he crooned at her as he increased the pace, going deep and hard, over and over. She could feel every inch of him, and she realized, with the sliver of her conscious mind that was hanging on desperately, how amazing it was that he seemed to know exactly what she needed. </p><p>She started matching his rhythm, pushing up as he was pushing down and she tightened her core muscles to welcome him in. He groaned and swore at the sensation and she gave him a cheeky smile before kissing a path to his mouth. He kissed her back and their tongues danced together, reaching another fever pitch. Her hands moved over his broad back, grabbing and caressing his skin and muscles, trying to find purchase to give herself more leverage. He moved his head down and sucked a nipple into his mouth, biting down hard to make her moan. It felt so fucking good, Alyssa noticed her orgasm building again, her breaths coming in rasps. </p><p>He must have picked up on it too, because he stilled and growled: “Come for me baby, come on my cock, I want to feel you clench all over me,” before increasing his pace and fucking her mercilessly. When he moved his hand between them and flicked her clit, she came for the third time, falling over the edge once again. He followed right after, his body going rigid as his orgasm overtook him. He collapsed on top of her, and she opened her arms, welcoming his weight on her.  </p><p>Slowly, they both came down from their highs, smiling and kissing and hugging. They were completely limp, their muscles no longer able to function properly.  </p><p>John rolled off her, falling to her side, breathing heavily beside her. She turned and snuggled up to him, a big smile on her face, her hair sticking to her head in sweaty strands, her body covered in a sheen of sweat. She was absolutely spent. Looking over at him, so was he. They stared at each other with giddy smiles while they caught their breath. Now she knew; Sex with John was fantastic, playful yet intense. And god, was she happy with that revelation. Once they'd both cooled down a little, he kissed her and rolled off the bed, heading to the bathroom. He came back with a wet cloth that thankfully turned out to be warm. He offered it to her with a grin and she leaned up to kiss him before wiping herself down. He came back to bed, turning into her and nestling against her.  </p><p>After a while of just basking in the afterglow, John nuzzled his head into her neck and asked her to stay the night. Already comfortable and sleepy, it was the easiest decision she'd ever made. </p><p>“Of course, John, whatever you want,” she assured him, kissing him again. </p><p>He drew her into his body even closer, dwarfing her with his bulkier frame, pulled up the covers and dropped right off. She snuggled against him, feeling safe and sated and drifted off too. </p><p> </p><p>Alyssa woke up the next morning entwined with John. His arms were wrapped around her and his warm breath was on her neck. She stretched and then groaned, feeling sore. That shouldn’t have been surprising, considering she’d spent the better part of the last two days having sex. That thought rattled through her as John moved behind her, waking up as well. He tightened his arm around her and nuzzled her neck. </p><p>“Morning, Red. How are you?” he whispered, dropping a kiss on her shoulder. She giggled and turned around, facing him. </p><p>“Care to share?” he inquired with an easy smile. He looked relaxed, and happy.  </p><p>“Honestly? I’m sore. Between Ashley’s training, and you and Garrus, every muscle hurts.” That made him laugh and she joined him, able to appreciate her predicament. </p><p>“Well then, let me help. It’s still early. Let’s grab a shower and I’ll see if I can get those muscles to relax,” he said, giving her a quick kiss.  </p><p>She smiled at the thought, and then blushed as she remembered the last shower she took. He saw the look on her face and raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“I’d love a shower, actually. I’m very fond of showers,” she grinned lasciviously and the smile he gave her in return promised her all kinds of fun. He dragged her out of bed and into the small private bathroom nestled into the back of the cabin.  </p><p>Once the water was warm, John maneuvered her under the spray and moved behind her to grab a bottle of shampoo. </p><p>“Allow me, just relax,” he said as he rubbed the shampoo into her hair, giving her scalp a wonderful massage. She moaned softly and did as he asked, focusing on the contact of his strong fingers on her skin. When he was satisfied her hair was properly lathered up, he moved her carefully so he could rinse out her hair, and then planted a kiss in her neck. She leaned against his chest and he dropped an arm around her waist, both of them just enjoying the warm water and the body contact. </p><p>John grabbed a cloth and put some soap on it, working it until he’d created a mound of froth. He swept her hair to one side and applied the cloth to her shoulders and neck, working away in small circles. He massaged his way down her back slowly, and continued on down her ass, giving both cheeks a lot more attention than would strictly be needed in order to get clean.  Alyssa wasn’t complaining though, she was enjoying being in his care too much. He finally made his way down her legs, all the way to her feet before turning her around and grabbing the soap for another helping of bubbles. </p><p>He kissed her and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, wanting to feel him pressed against her. He gave in and deepened the kiss, both of them moaning before he broke off and with a dirty smile, began applying the soap to her front. He wasn’t even pretending that what he was doing had anything to do with getting her clean and she was laughing and enjoying herself immensely, especially when he reached her breasts. Abandoning the cloth he was using, he instead used his hands to massage her breasts, running his fingers across her nipples to watch them harden and peak. Capturing the spray, he rinsed off the soap before pulling her nipple into his mouth. Sucking on it hard, he looked up at her and grinned. </p><p>She put her hand on the back of his head, encouraging him to continue and he eagerly dove back in. He was totally engrossed in his chosen task, moving from one breast to the other, before switching back again. He kissed, sucked and licked them and she was reduced to a moaning puddle of need before long, which, judging by the pleased look on his face, had been his intention. </p><p>When she tried to touch him, he softly swatted her hands away and growled. He looked at her, releasing the nipple between his teeth and told her: “No, Red, no touching. Let me take care of you.” She nodded with a smile, and he nipped her nipple playfully and continued his sensual assault on her breasts. </p><p>One of his hands slid down to her leg, hitching it up to wrap around his hip. She complied and he held her steady, his hand on her upper leg, just behind her knee. His other hand snaked its way down between her legs, now opened for him, to touch her there. He gently slid a finger between her labia, and her breath hitched. </p><p>“I know you’re sore, baby, don’t worry. I’ll be gentle,” he promised, kissing her neck. </p><p>She nodded and tried to relax. He <i>was</i> being gentle, barely touching her as he traced around her clit, careful not put pressure on it. He took infinite care exploring her there, not thrusting his fingers into her, but instead rubbing softly around the outside and down to the sensitive skin leading to her ass. </p><p>His mouth lowered and he sucked a nipple back into his mouth. She moaned loudly and threw her head back. He repeated the action on her other breast before moving back to nuzzle her neck, whispering in her ear in between kisses. </p><p>“Poor baby, aching all over from taking our big cocks in your tight pussy. All those beautiful bruises showing me how rough you like it,” he whispered, the sweet, soothing tone completely at odds with the vulgarity of his words. He applied the lightest of pressures then, as he traced around her clit and she felt herself clench, his dirty words combined with his fingers playing with her pushing her towards her high. He traced the outside of her slit, gathering up moisture before going back to making soft, slow circles around her clit.  </p><p>“But you love it, don’t you? You’ll take everything we give you, won’t you?” She moaned out an incoherent ‘yes’ and he let out a dark chuckle. “Every inch of Garrus’ cock, or mine, however we want to fuck you, baby?” he continued, biting her neck on the same spot that Garrus had. She was going into sensory overload, the combination of his voice, his words and the treatment his fingers and mouth were giving her completely flooding her mind and body. </p><p>“Yes, John, yes,” she panted, unable to process anything but how incredibly erotic the whole situation was. </p><p>“Remember what you asked me? To think about what I want to do with you?” he paused, making sure she heard him. When he saw her give a small nod, too overcome to speak, he smirked and continued. </p><p>“I want you on all fours, sucking me off, because baby, there’s no better feeling in the world than your mouth on my cock,” he whispered and his words went straight to her core, pushing her towards her orgasm. </p><p>“And while I’m fucking your mouth, baby, Garrus is fucking this tight, wet pussy, leaving his talon marks all over your hips, giving you every inch of that cock you love.” </p><p>At this, he suddenly applied pressure right on her clit, which he’d been avoiding diligently until then and she keened loudly, coming with a full body shudder, shaking in his arms. The image of the both of them taking her seared into her mind and as she rode her orgasm, she knew that it was exactly what she wanted.  </p><p>She looked at John, eyes wide and pupils blown, and she was speechless. He’d managed to verbalize her fantasy and made her come with nothing more than a slight touch and some dirty words. </p><p>She could just about will herself to reach out and kiss him and when she did, he wrapped her up in a hug and kissed her back. </p><p>“Thank you,” she whispered, and he couldn’t help but laugh. </p><p>“Feeling better?” he smirked. She laughed and nodded. She did feel better. The warm water, the soapy massage and the bone shattering orgasm had all helped to make her feel content and relaxed, most of her soreness gone. </p><p>He turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap around her. Another towel went to her hair and he carefully dried it for her, squeezing the water drops out from the tips and giving her scalp another massage. </p><p>Ignoring himself completely to focus on her, he next took the towel from her body to rub her dry. His careful attention made her feel cared for, loved even, and any tension she’d felt when she had woken up was now gone. </p><p>“May I return the favor?” she asked when he’d dried her off. </p><p>“If you want,” he conceded and she grabbed a clean towel from the stack and started to towel him off, beginning with his short hair, moving down his body in the same methodical fashion. When she reached his groin, and his obviously aroused state, he stilled her hands, and told her to leave it. She wanted to protest, but the look on his face told her he meant it, and so she moved down to his legs instead, finishing up when even his ankles had received attention. </p><p>“Come on, Red, let’s get you dressed,” he said, taking her hand and going back to the main room of his cabin.  </p><p>She followed him out and stopped on the threshold, then facepalmed hard. She started laughing out loud, the ridiculousness of the situation suddenly clear to her and she couldn’t stop. Through the tears now forming in her eyes and between outbursts of laughter, she explained to a baffled John why she was laughing. </p><p>“All my stuff is in my quarters. I’ve got my dress from yesterday, but the minute I walk out of here in yesterday’s dress, with my hair wet, everyone’s going to know what’s going on. You don’t even have a comb. And for some reason, the thought of me doing the walk of shame back to my room is hilarious instead of frightening.” </p><p>John shook his head in amusement and turned to check his locker for clothes.  </p><p>“I don’t have anything that’s not immediately recognizable as mine,” he sighed as he went through his clothes. </p><p>“I know. Your stuff has got ‘N7’ stamped all over it,” she chuckled. </p><p>“Alright, so I’ll get dressed and go to your room to grab some of your stuff. At least enough so you can get dressed and do your hair.” </p><p>She walked over to him and leaned over, kissing him as he was putting his trousers on. “So next time we have a sleep over, remind me to bring an overnight bag with my stuff. Also, would you grab us some breakfast while you’re out there? For some reason,” she smirked, “I’m starving.” </p><p>“Anything for you, Red. Especially with you looking like this, all naked and happy,” he added with a cheeky grin. As soon as he was dressed, he kissed her again, squeezed her bare ass and turned to leave. </p><p>It took him only minutes to come back with a bag filled with clothes and toiletries, and a big plate of food. She picked some food off the plate as she moved around, grabbing her things and rummaging through the bag. She appreciated how relaxed they were with each other, and that John didn't seem to mind her invading his space. Another tick in the box that helped ease any worries she had about her being with both John and Garrus. Individually, their one-on-one relationships worked. Only time would tell how well they could be combined, although John's earlier shower thought had been wonderfully explicit and gave her hope that they would be able to work that out as well. She laughed as he groaned when she got dressed, complaining that it was a shame that she couldn’t just stay there, naked, the whole day.  </p><p>“And how much work do you suppose you’ll be getting done in that scenario, John? Don’t you have more important things to do than ogle me?” she teased him as she finished drying her hair. </p><p>“I suppose,” he moped, before he sneaked up on her and planted a kiss in her neck, his arms wrapped around her. “But none of it is quite as much fun,” he admitted, a disappointed note entering his voice that tugged at her heart. </p><p>She turned to look at him and cupped his face. She could see the weight of command settle itself back onto his shoulders.  </p><p>“John, I loved last night and this morning," she told him, " and I think you did too." The wide grin on his face confirmed that statement, erasing the tiny doubt that niggled at the back of her mind. She continued, wanting to set his mind at ease. "So, my tall, handsome, sexy commander, we will make the time to be together. We will figure it out." She could see him relax as the tension in his stance lessened. "I’ve got a full day today, but I think we should get the whole team together tonight and go out. They deserve the chance to celebrate their commander becoming the first Human Spectre, don’t you think? We’ll drink, and dance,” she said, and his face soured at the latter suggestion, making her laugh. </p><p>“You don’t have to if you don’t want,” she assured him and he smiled, clearly relieved. </p><p>“It will give the team a chance to bond and let loose a little before we tackle some really tough missions. What do you think?” </p><p>“That sounds good. I’ll let everyone know. Skeleton crew then tonight, everyone else is free to join. It’s a good idea, thanks, Red.” He kissed her again, pulling her close, putting his hands on her ass to squeeze them. She knew he wouldn't release her if she didn't give him the nudge to and the fact he wanted her to stay was incredibly touching. For a second, she was tempted to just stay there, wrapped up in his arms and forget about everything else, but she knew they couldn't. Stopping herself before her mood turned maudlin, she sighed happily, kissed him again and then pulled herself free from his embrace. </p><p>“And on that note, I’m grabbing a nutrient bar and then I’m going to the gun range. Garrus is teaching me how to use the sniper rifle,” she grinned, unable to stop the enthusiasm she felt at the prospect from showing up on her face. </p><p>“That sounds like fun. Go be with your other boyfriend, Red. I’ll see you tonight,” he told her, giving her one last kiss for good measure. </p><p>“’Bye John. Hey, don't just work all day, okay? Go have fun with your mom. See her before she has to leave,” she suggested, hoping he'd take advantage of the few days they had on the Citadel to spend time together.</p><p>He nodded and waved her off. She waved a kiss at him and took off to her own quarters, miraculously unseen as she made her way through the ship, grabbing what she would need for  the day without having to travel back. Her bag was full, with her armor, weapons, toiletries and party clothes. She lugged it onto her back and practically ran out the door, stopping only to give Joker a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. </p><p>She whispered: “Party tonight, drinks are on Shepard,” and caught his smile before she turned to leave.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For some reason, I get really nervous when posting more explicit content.. I hope you like it, because that would help with the crippling self-doubt. Of course if you don't like it, also feel free to tell me. All feedback is welcome!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Fun on the Citadel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa has a busy day running around the Citadel. There's training with Garrus, as well as with Ashley and Kaiden, she meets up with Mordin in his new lab and then dinner with Garrus and Decian Chellick.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stepping out of the airlock, she was on the dock and hailing a skycab to get to the gun range, arriving right on time to see Garrus waiting for her as she hustled over. He greeted her warmly, if formally, aware that they were in public and there were people they didn’t know watching them. </p><p>“Hey, Garrus, I’m totally ready to shoot things. Let’s go,” she enthused, making him laugh. </p><p>“Alright, let’s go, tough guy, see how you handle the big guns,” he matched her easy tone, walking her back to the range itself, gesturing to the lane at the end. They passed several people, Human, Asari and Turian, before they got to their lane. </p><p>Garrus took the sniper rifle he’d selected for her and loaded it while she sat her pack down and watched him. He handed her the weapon and she groaned at the weight. She needed to add weightlifting to her gym routine, she thought as she struggled with the heavy hunk of metal.  </p><p>Determined to manage properly, she gritted her teeth and moved to the right lane. Garrus gave her instructions and set the targets, resting his hand in the small of her back, the only sign that they were more than instructor and student. Once she confirmed she understood what was going to happen, they both put ear protectors on, and she got started. Intermediate range, stationary targets were up first. When she’d completed that set, she turned to Garrus and he smiled encouragingly. They both checked the results and Garrus gave her pointers. Horizontal stability was good, apparently, but she needed to focus on relaxing her breathing to improve on the vertical aspect. </p><p>She nodded, and he set up the same range targets again. They continued this way for two hours. Garrus set the targets, moving them progressively further away. Alyssa completed her shots and then they both reviewed the results. The last set looked markedly better than the first set, and Garrus was chirping proudly as she cleaned the rifle and returned it to him. </p><p>The gun range was fortunately close to the Alliance training facility, which was Alyssa’s next destination, so they both made their way over, chatting amicably, aware of prying eyes, and grabbing a quick bite before they got there from a vendor with a stall outside. It was nice spending time with Garrus even if they had to pretend not to be together, but perhaps even more than that, it was just nice to be outside and walk around. The Citadel was sufficiently large that it felt like being on a planet rather than an overgrown space station and Alyssa felt some of her tension dissipate as she walked. Garrus wouldn't let her carry her own bag, heavy as it was, so she just relaxed, and people watched as she chatted with him on their way to her next destination.  </p><p>Much too soon, they arrived at the training facility, a large, imposing structure made of mostly glass, with Alyssa flashing her badge to gain entrance. The reception area led to the lobby, which was high-ceilinged and mostly deserted. She saw Kaiden and Ashley waiting for her and waved at them. Before she could approach them however, Garrus steered her away from the pair of Alliance marines to talk to her privately, grabbing her hand in the process. </p><p>“I’m meeting Decian at six for dinner and drinks, do you still want to join us?” </p><p>“Absolutely, if you’ll have me. Text me the location details and I’ll be there. I’ll even wear the other dress I bought yesterday, and those shoes you’re so fond of. Shepard’s having a party tonight, maybe Decian wants to join us. I can’t imagine Shepard minding. And Decian will be able to see that his friend is in good hands,” she offered. </p><p>“That is a good idea. We’ll ask him at dinner. Now, go have fun and kick ass, Lys,” he said, warm affection winding through his voice. They put their foreheads together in lieu of a kiss, before he handed over her bag and then he left, waving at Ashley and Kaiden. If Kaiden was surprised by the show of affection, he didn’t comment. But then again, Alyssa realized, he probably wouldn’t know what it meant. Ashley, however, gave her a knowing smile and seemed pleased. </p><p>“Alright, let’s go. Alyssa, get changed into your armor and if you give me your weapons, I’ll change the ammo over to training rounds. Non-lethal, but they’ll still hurt if they hit you. We’re starting with the basics. Staying in formation and clearing rooms safely,” Ashley explained when she'd joined them and Kaiden looked pleased. </p><p>“Thanks for doing this, guys, I appreciate it. I know you could also be enjoying yourselves on the Citadel, so thank you for helping me instead,” she told them. Kaiden actually blushed a little. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, flattery won’t stop me from shooting your butt off, get going,” Ashley laughed and shooed her to the locker room. Alyssa changed quickly, putting her under-armor and armor on, having left her weapons with Ashley. Excitement was coursing through her veins. She was looking forward to the field exercises and wondered how it would compare to similar exercises she had done at CIA academy. </p><p>Bouncing out of the locker room, now in her armor, with her hair pulled back and tucked away in a tight bun, similar to Ashley’s, she met both of them with a big smile on her face. They were standing in front of a large metal door, which gave access to a windowless room, which she presumed was the training area. The corridor was deserted, and Ashley was tinkering with a console on the wall when she came out.  </p><p>“Come on, let’s go shoot stuff,” she urged them on and the grin on Ashley’s face matched hers. </p><p>“That’s the spirit! Here, we start with close quarter clearing, so pistols at the ready. Kaiden will use the pistol only at first, and then we’ll also tackle how to work alongside a biotic teammate.” At Alyssa’s nod, Ashley moved to the console near the door to activate the simulation program.  </p><p>“Activate your helmets, program initiated. Start in five, four, three, two, - go!” Ashley ordered and Kaiden and Alyssa followed her through the door. </p><p>It opened up into a large, urban looking area, and Alyssa only had a moment to focus before an unseen opponent opened fire on the group.  </p><p>“Get to cover,” Ashley ordered, and Alyssa ran and slid to a low wall to her left. Her adrenaline started coursing through her body and she felt a disused part of her wake up.  </p><p>She'd done this sort of thing before. She'd trained for this. She could do this, she knew as she ducked down behind a low wall. </p><p>Focusing on Ashley and Kaiden, she found them both crouched down behind cover nearby. Ashley gestured for Alyssa to move up, indicating that she and Kaiden would provide cover fire. She nodded once, a huge smile on her face, which the other woman couldn’t see because Alyssa was wearing her helmet. She then ducked slightly out of her hiding spot to check where the danger was coming from. Identifying a building to her left as the likely origin, she motioned in that direction and received a nod from Ashley. </p><p>So far, so good. </p><p>She counted shots and ran to the next available cover during the lull in which the opponent was apparently reloading. The adrenaline made her move fast, and she actually made a full slide into her next position. She grinned; the slide was exactly like she’d seen her Shepard avatar execute countless times. Taking up position so she could provide cover fire for Ashley and Kaiden, she heard the latter move up beside her and laid down fire to stop their enemies from targeting him when he was out in the open. Then it was Ashley’s turn to break cover and move and they both covered her run. </p><p>They moved up to their destination, a nondescript grey building with the windows shot out. Ashley was signaling her intent with emphatic hand gestures and both of them nodded. Ashley was to take point through the door, Kaiden breaking left, and Alyssa moving to the right. </p><p>Following Ashley’s count, they broke down the door and made their way in. Alyssa swept her quadrant, keeping her pistol trained ahead of her, and she saw Ashley and Kaiden do the same thing. They moved through the building without talking, almost noiselessly and when they reached the final staircase, they knew that unless their target had leapt to another building or there was a fire escape they hadn’t seen on their way in, they were going to be engaging their enemy. </p><p>Utilizing the same tactics, they moved through the door and were immediately blinded, a smoke grenade making it impossible to see. Alyssa, prepared for something like this to happen, crouched down and slowly made her way through her quadrant, tracing the wall with her hand to help guide her. She saw a flash of metal ahead of her and brought her gun up to eliminate the threat. Firing twice in rapid succession, she could hear a body drop and knew she’d hit true. Careful not to get excited and think the exercise was over, she crept forward, her hand against the wall until the smoke cleared and she could see the entire room. It seemed that Kaiden had also taken care of his target and when they made their way over to the target Alyssa had neutralized, they saw two point-blank rounds to the chest, per Alliance regulations. </p><p>Ashley patted her on the back in congratulations before ending the simulation with her omni-tool and ordering them back to the starting point to review the footage. Like with sniper training, the key was to complete the exercise and then review the footage. Ashley and Kaiden both had pointers for her where she could improve, but overall were very impressed. </p><p>When she confessed she’d done similar training exercises before as part of her CIA training, Ashley grinned madly and said: “Good, then we can up the difficulty. We’ll turn you into a marine yet, Specialist Adams.” </p><p>Alyssa looked at Kaiden, who smiled, and said: “That doesn’t sound ominous at all, right?” </p><p>He laughed before agreeing with her. “Things are about to get interesting, I think.” </p><p>They took a small break, and then Ashley keyed in new parameters and started the second simulation. It was indeed much more challenging and progression to their target was much slower the second time around. The number of enemies had increased, and Alyssa had to be much more careful. It was challenging and required all her focus. They kept it up for several hours, running a simulation, completing it and then reviewing the footage. Although she’d tripped up once on the final exercise, Ashley declared she was very happy with her progress and complimented her, saying she had a good head for tactics, and kept her cool when the bullets started flying. High praise indeed from the gunnery chief.  </p><p>When they were done, they all looked exhausted. Alyssa was sweaty and tired and badly in need of a shower. She and Ashley entered the women’s locker room, Kaiden veering left to his, and she wasted no time getting into the shower and getting cleaned up. She and Ashley chatted as they were getting dressed. Ashley was also looking forward to celebrating with the team that night. Alyssa suspected that the stern Gunnery Chief didn't get a lot of opportunities to let her hair down and relax. </p><p>Alyssa changed back into her uniform, because her next stop was in the Alliance Science Building down the road. She thanked Ashley and Kaiden again for their help and promised to meet up with them at the party. They didn’t ask where she was going, and she didn’t offer. </p><p>***</p><p>She’d made a promise yesterday to visit Mordin, and she was intent on keeping it. When she entered the building, it seemed like Captain Anderson’s meticulousness had struck again, because she was given access to the Science Building as well as Mordin’s lab without issue. </p><p>She walked into a spacious, well-lit room, fully furnished with what looked like expensive, high-tech equipment. She immediately resolved not to touch anything, afraid of the damage she might do. She found Mordin humming to himself, stirring something in a glass beaker of some sort. </p><p>“Hey Professor, how’s the lab?” she asked him when she spotted him. He looked up and smiled at her. </p><p>“Equipment excellent, layout very good. Almost as good as STG. Surprised by Alliance know-how. Thanks for coming.” She made it over to him and shook his hand. </p><p>“That’s good to hear. It seems like Anderson knows his business, setting this up,” she said, unsure how to continue. She hadn’t really cleared this with the team but there were some things she wanted Modin's help with and she didn't want to wait too long. </p><p>“Yesterday, mentioned other objectives besides counteracting the Reaper indoctrination. Please explain?” He asked, providing her with the opening she was looking for.</p><p>She regarded him for a moment, wondering how to best formulate all the things she wanted. Realizing she didn’t have the information she needed to decide the best course of action, she sighed and decided to give him all of it, and to sift through it together. </p><p>“I’m not really sure. I know a lot about what’s going to happen, and I’d like to help prevent some of it, if I can. You’d know better than I do what would be feasible and what would be more difficult. Let me explain.” </p><p>At his nod, she started, leaning against the worktable opposite him. </p><p>“Originally, three years from now, you are recruited to help find a cure against the Collector swarms. They are small, flying, insect-like things that bite Humans and paralyze them. You manage to find a way to make us invisible to them, so we can fight the Collectors without getting harvested ourselves. Then later you work on curing the Genophage, which you also manage by the way. This is why I wanted to recruit you now, so we’re able to pick your brain for some other things as well,” she explained. He nodded and typed something on his omni-tool. If they handed out awards for multi-tasking, Mordin would certainly be a top contender, she thought with a smile. </p><p>“I was wondering if it would be possible to develop a cure, or at least a treatment for Kepral’s syndrome, the disease that affects Drell. There really aren’t that many of them left, and about a quarter of them die from it. Their species has been through so much already, this would increase their survival chances significantly. It’s just that no one is really focusing on it because they’re not a Council species.” </p><p>That got Mordin’s attention. He was watching her closely and he'd stopped typing. </p><p>“Unexpected. Drell fascinating species. Kepral affects lungs. Will investigate. A proper challenge, miss Adams, thank you. Would eventually need test subjects for cure.” The typing speed on his omni-tool resumed and Alyssa smiled. </p><p>“There’s more. At some point, we’re going to need to go to Tuchanka. When we go to deploy the Genophage cure, we use a structure called the Shroud, I think you’re familiar with it.” </p><p>“Yes, Shroud facility used to deploy Genophage, pumps particles into atmosphere for maximum dispersal.” He nodded, and she continued. </p><p>“Right. When we go back to deploy the cure, it turns out the dispersal mechanism has been sabotaged, I think by STG. I’d like to go in before we have a cure, and before Tuchanka is under Reaper attack and fix it, so it’s ready when we need it. Would you be willing to help?” </p><p>“Caution against curing Genophage. Krogan are a proven threat to the galaxy. Rapid expansion will lead to issues and likely, war. Certain cure is required for victory over Reapers?” he asked her. </p><p>“Yes, I believe so. It is the only way the Krogan will join the fight, and we can't win without them.” </p><p>“Then will help disable sabotage. Know Shroud, know STG, should be able to counteract sabotage. Would like proper discussion about Genophage, though. Need all the facts,” he stated pointedly. </p><p>“Of course. Thank you, Mordin. I appreciate it,” she replied, and he again nodded. </p><p>“Anything else, miss Adams?” he asked her with a smile, which she returned. </p><p>“Honestly, probably yes. In the future, you help upgrade technical designs for weapons and the Normandy. Is this something you’ll be able to help us with as well?” she ventured. </p><p>He tilted his head, clearly thinking, and nodded. </p><p>“Obviously, engines and propulsion not my field, but weapons, armor, absolutely. Send specs and will provide upgrades.” He looked happier by the minute with the increasing work load she was giving him. </p><p>“One more thing, but I’m not sure if you’ll be able to help, so you’ll have to tell me. Corpalis Syndrome, it affects Turians. I know it’s rare and I think STG is working on it, but there’s no cure yet.” She waited, and realized she was holding her breath. If Mordin could help Garrus’ mom and extend her life, she'd be a very happy woman. </p><p>He looked thoughtful, like he was assessing her.  </p><p>“Why these two diseases, miss Adams? You are neither Drell nor Turian. Humans mostly focused on Humans,” he asked her. </p><p>“That’s fair. And please call me 'Alyssa'. There’s a Drell who will become a friend and I don’t want my friends to die if we can help it. As for Corpalis Syndrome, it afflicts someone’s mom. Someone who’s dear to me. So, I guess they’re both personal reasons. Obviously, the indoctrination and the Collector swarms are mission critical, but these are, well, important for me.” </p><p>“Understood, Alyssa. Appreciate honesty. Will have to think about solutions, but worthy pursuits, nonetheless. Will get started right away,” he said with a small smile. </p><p>“But first, tell me all about indoctrination,” he ordered. </p><p>She breathed a sigh of relief, tears forming in her eyes as a small flicker of hope nestled into her heart at the thought of maybe being able to help Thane and Garrus. </p><p>“Absolutely,” she agreed, and they discussed all the examples of indoctrination she remembered from the game as Mordin asked questions and made notes. </p><p>She left over an hour later, with Mordin having promised to keep her updated on his progress. She’d ducked into one of the changing rooms down the hall to change from her uniform to her new dress, remembering her promise to Garrus. She quickly cleaned herself up, adding some makeup to her appearance, untied her hair and let it flow down her back, before putting her heels on. She enjoyed feeling more feminine after spending the day in either her uniform or her armor. After a final check in the mirror, she exited and made her way out of the Alliance Science Building. </p><p>She felt lighter than when she had come in. This was one of the first concrete moves, after Nihlus’ survival, that could influence events and work to make the galaxy a better place. There was a slight spring in her step, which she always got after a job well done. Once she was outside, she checked her messages and found that Garrus had indeed sent her the address of a restaurant near the Presidium for their dinner date with Decian Chellick. Smiling, she hailed a cab and made her way straight there. </p><p>***</p><p>She was running a little late, which would have been alright if she were meeting John, but would probably annoy Garrus and Chellick, Turians being such sticklers for punctuality. The place they were meeting at looked sleek and minimalist, all clear, straight lines and clean lighting. No dark corners to lurk in or obvious knickknacks livening up the place. She smiled to herself, it looked exactly like what she’d imagined Garrus would have picked.  </p><p>She was able to store her bag in a secured locker near the entrance and deduced they were used to catering to C-Sec and the various types of military staff that were ubiquitous on the space station, who almost all carried weapons in their day job. </p><p>She found them both sitting at the bar, laughing together and looking relaxed. Chellick was sitting facing the entrance, still in his C-Sec armor and noticed her first, his eyes widening as he elbowed Garrus and pointed in her direction. He turned in his seat and when he looked at her, his face lit up and she could see his appreciative gaze sweep over her. She was too far away to hear his hum, although she could by now imagine it. She did, however, see Chellick’s surprised look at Garrus, so she guessed he had indeed reacted to her arrival with his sub-vocals. </p><p>Garrus stood to meet her, and this prompted Chellick to stand up as well. She walked up to them and gave Garrus a big hug, kissing his cheek. There was indeed a pleased hum emanating from him and she chuckled, warmed by such a loving welcome. She released him and turned to Chellick, who was watching them with a big grin on his face. </p><p>“Troublemaker, good to see you,” he smirked as she turned to face him. </p><p>“Just ‘Alyssa’ is fine, officer Chellick. It’s good to see you too,” she offered with a chuckle. </p><p>“Just ‘Decian’ tonight, I think, Alyssa. Now, could I also get one of those hugs?” he asked with a cheeky grin aimed at Garrus. It was crystal clear that those two were very good friends. </p><p>“Absolutely,” she replied easily, stepping forward to give him a hug as well. Unlike with Garrus however, she didn’t wrap her arms around his waist, but aimed higher. She heard Garrus chuckle behind her and knew he’d noticed what she did.  </p><p>They invited her to sit down with them, and she pulled up a seat, in between both Turians. They dwarfed her, both in height and width, especially with Decian still in C-Sec armor. Garrus, however, had changed into a dark blue suit, and looked very attractive. The bartender, another Turian, came up to them and they ordered another round of drinks, Alyssa opting for a non-alcoholic drink, because she hadn’t eaten anything yet. Both men ordered Turian ale, which looked like normal beer to her, but without the foam layer on top. Clinking their glasses, they drank to a fun-filled evening and old friends. </p><p>“I saw the news, you’re traveling with a Spectre, Garrus. What would your father say?” he gently ribbed his friend, to all of their amusement.  </p><p>“Nothing good, but that wouldn’t be unusual, now would it?” he replied easily. Alyssa knew Garrus and his father weren’t close, the latter not agreeing with the choices of the former. </p><p>“How are things at C-Sec?” Garrus asked and Decian shook his head. </p><p>“I swear Pallin gets more uptight every week. I mean, I love paperwork as much as the next Turian, but it’s getting ridiculous. I’ve been assigned a new partner since you so callously left me to go off doing Spirits know what. A newbie, straight out of the academy. You know the type, eager to rid the station of crime, book smart instead of street smart. Pretty little thing though, an Asari, much better looking than you are, Garrus,” Decian told them and at this, all three of them laughed. </p><p>“Sounds like you traded up, then. Good to know you’re not wasting away without me,” Garrus quipped. </p><p>“I’m not the only one that traded up, Garrus. I can’t believe you ended up on the Normandy with my favorite troublemaker. It’s not fair, you know, I found her first,” Decian exclaimed with a pout, or as much of one as a Turian could manage. Garrus laughed out loud and Alyssa snorted, almost spilling her drink. </p><p>“I’m absolutely not complaining about that one bit. I’m very happy where I am. From what I’ve seen so far, Shepard’s a good commander, and there are perks to being on board the Normandy that I wouldn’t have expected when I agreed to join them,” Garrus said, putting his hand on her bare leg, just above her knee. </p><p>Decian laughed at that, flashing a look at Garrus’ hand before shaking his head. He gave Garrus another one of his cheeky smirks and grinned when he said: “And what would daddy dearest say about that?”  </p><p>Garrus froze, his hand inadvertently tightening on her thigh, and she put her hand over his, suddenly afraid of his reaction. She knew his dad was important to him, just as she knew he very rarely approved of anything Garrus did. It was difficult for anyone when you didn’t live up to your parent’s expectations, but she thought it would be even harder for Turians. Obedience, respect and devotion to service were practically written into their DNA. </p><p>Decian seemed to realize he stepped into a minefield and tried to backtrack, but before he could, Garrus spoke, the harshness in his voice sending a cold shiver down her spine. </p><p>“Actually, I don’t give a damn what he says. This is the first time in a long time that I’m happy, and he’s not going to take that away. Besides, he’s on Palavan, he can’t do anything to me from there.” </p><p>He leaned over and put his forehead against hers, and she leaned into the contact, knowing he needed to assure himself of their connection. Her skin started its familiar buzzing sensation and she realized this was the first time it happened without them engaging in explicitly sexual activity. She wasn’t sure what to make of it but resolved to discuss it with doctor Chakwas the next time they spoke.  </p><p>Decian sighed in relief and nodded. “You’re right, my friend. As long as I’ve known you, that man has been riding your ass and you’ve done as he says. It’s way past time that you made up your own mind.” He put his hand on Garrus’ shoulder in support and Garrus smiled, relieved at his friend’s acceptance. </p><p>“Of course, having such delicious motivation helps," Decian added with a mock leer at Alyssa, who couldn’t help but chuckle at the obvious attempt to cheer up Garrus. </p><p>The waiter approached them then, directing them to their table. They had a lovely, mostly secluded table away from the other guests and they settled in easily. It was clear that both men had missed each other and the banter flying across the table reflected their connection. The menu had delicious-sounding dishes, both for her and for the guys. Their meal was spent in a relaxed mood, with Garrus and Decian regaling her with stories of their misspent youth in the military and some of their adventures in C-Sec.  </p><p>She especially appreciated their story about going camping, Turian style, which meant that they brought only their weapons. On their second day, just after they had woken up in their self-made shelter and were getting ready to hunt down breakfast, they were attacked by klixen and had to high tail it out of there, frantically calling Decian’s dad to pick them up. Garrus insisted that it was Decian’s snoring that brought the creatures to their hideout and Decian protested that it was obvious that the klixen had been attracted by the food Garrus had left out, and Alyssa was in stitches by the time they’d both stopped arguing about it. </p><p>Once they had finished their meal, they decided to head over to meet the Normandy crew to celebrate the first Human Spectre. Decian readily agreed to join them, curious about Commander Shepard. Garrus and Alyssa were both happy for him to tag along, and the three of them arrived fashionably late. Alyssa had been able to convince them that only Turians showed up to a party on time, and while they both grumbled at the perceived rudeness, Alyssa had prevailed. She hadn’t wanted to rush through dinner or skip dessert, so it was an entirely selfish decision on her part. She sniggered when Garrus figured out why she was delaying them and attempted to scold her for corrupting two proper, law abiding Turians. </p><p>“And where would those be hiding? All I see is you two chuckleheads,” she replied, which caused Decian to almost spit out his drink and earned her a glare from Garrus. Sticking her tongue out to him, she laughed and dug into her dessert, some raspberry concoction with ice cream that she’d decided was her new favorite food. </p><p>Finally, as Garrus started shifting in his seat, displaying his nerves at potentially displeasing his new commander, she gave in and finished her drink, asking the waiter to bring them their bill. They grabbed her gear from the locker and left in search of a cab. Garrus carried her bag for her without a word and found a skycab to take them to the club John had selected.</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Unexpected Encounters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's the night of Shepard's party and things don't go quite according to plan.</p><p>I want to be careful and give you a minor trigger warning, in case you need it: There's anti-alien and women-unfriendly name calling in this chapter as well as a hostage situation. They're marked by TW1 and TW2 respectively.<br/></p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The club had the same locker setup as the restaurant and Alyssa stowed her bag in it before going inside, both men flanking her. It was a rare occurrence for her to be dwarfed by others, standing at six feet tall, but Garrus and Decian managed to make her look small. They were about half an hour late and found a mostly empty table with only Nihlus and Captain Anderson, who both stood as they approached. Alyssa couldn’t suppress another snigger and she saw Garrus narrow his eyes at her, as he figured out that she’d been right about being early. They settled in at the table and Alyssa offered to get them drinks.  </p><p>She walked up to the bar, a big semi-circle lit by neon lights on the left of the dance floor and hailed the Human bartender. She smiled at him and ordered three Turian ales and two draft beers. She wound her way through the crowd with the tray in hand and Decian whistled appreciatively as she walked up to their table. </p><p>“You’ve done that before,” he pointed out when she put the tray down and handed them their drinks. </p><p>“I worked at a bar when I was in college, it helped pay the bills,” she confirmed with a smile. Then she reached out and punched Decian on the shoulder, sure she wouldn’t hurt him as he was still in armor.  </p><p>“And don’t whistle at me, I’m not a dog,” she chided him. This made the rest of the table break out in laughter at Decian’s discomfort. She returned the tray with a grateful smile to the bartender before taking a seat at the circular table they’d picked out.  </p><p>They introduced Decian to Nihlus and Decian’s eyes got big as he realized who he was talking to. Apparently like Kaiden, he also had a bit of a fanboy crush on the famous Spectre. Nihlus and Alyssa shared another amused look as they both realized what was going on. Like with Kaiden, Nihlus was nothing less than gracious as Decian peppered him with questions until Garrus, sitting next to his friend, elbowed him to shut him up. The embarrassed chirp that escaped him could only be heard by the people sitting closest to him, but it was certainly adorable. Alyssa couldn’t suppress a smile and when she looked at Garrus, she saw it mirrored on his face as well. </p><p>The rest of the crew trickled in bit by bit over the next hour, John entering with Joker, Tali and Liara. Introductions were made, Decian’s smile growing with every person he was introduced to. Alyssa thought he looked in awe of the diversity of the team, and he gave Liara a very appreciative once over, making the shy Asari blush. </p><p>Once they were all settled, and they had drinks courtesy of the cute Asari waitress in the mini skirt, Captain Anderson stood up to toast John and they all cheered loudly before downing their drinks. Soon enough, the drinks were flowing, and the music was luring them to the dance floor. </p><p>Tali nudged Alyssa first, begging for her to go to dancing with her. At this, John and Garrus enthusiastically agreed with Tali and she shook her head in amusement at them both before extricating herself from the couch and grabbing Tali’s hand to find a spot on the dance floor. </p><p>The club wasn’t all that busy yet, and the clientele looked mostly Human, so Tali definitely stood out as they started dancing. Tali had excellent rhythm and the two of them were enjoying themselves tremendously, moving to tunes unfamiliar to Alyssa. Soon enough Liara joined them, and then so did Kaiden and Ashley and they rotated dancing together. Kaiden was focused on Ashley and they seemed to like each other’s company. </p><p>Alyssa smiled when she saw Kaiden pull the stern gunnery chief a little closer. She gave Ashley a huge grin when the brunette looked her way and was rewarded with a rude hand gesture. She cracked up laughing and it caused her to lose her step for a second. Tali had a stabilizing hand on her elbow and she thanked her before resuming her own dancing. She relaxed as she let the music guide her movements, enjoying the simple fact that they had the night off and were doing something fun. </p><p>Before long, she felt a long arm wrap itself around her waist and when she turned, Garrus was behind her, moving to the beat and pulling her close. She swayed to the music with him before turning to face him. </p><p>“Hey big guy, couldn’t resist the lure of the beat?” He smirked at her before leaning over so he could whisper in her ear. </p><p>“I couldn’t let my girl dance by herself, especially not in this dress.” </p><p>“You like the dress? This old thing?” she said airily, teasing him. </p><p>“Hmm,” he hummed in agreement and she could feel the vibrations flow through her own chest. It set off the buzzing in her skin and the light electric charge that she’d been getting used to was back.  </p><p>“I certainly like how you look in this dress. I was sitting there, and I couldn’t take my eyes off you. These long legs of yours, this tiny waist. And you like dancing, so I wanted at least one dance with you tonight,” he whispered, and she melted.  </p><p>“Thank you. I would love to dance with you. Have I told you how attractive you look in that suit?” she wagged her eyebrows at him suggestively and he snorted. Then he caught her hand and twirled her around, before pulling her back against his chest and dipping her. Her head swam at the speed and skill with which he moved her, and she heard Tali squeal in delight next to her. </p><p>Liara kept looking at them with a wistful smile on her face and when the song finished, Garrus offered his hand to Liara and danced with her. She looked pleased, and Alyssa smiled as well. Liara needed to feel like she was part of the team, and she was happy that Garrus had intuitively known what to do. </p><p>Garrus making his way to the dance floor was apparently the signal the rest of them needed to join them. Pretty soon Alyssa was dancing with Nihlus, who was as graceful on the dance floor as he was on the battlefield. He danced with Tali next, and then Ashley, who’d finally been released by Kaiden. Pressly looked at Alyssa shyly and she smiled, pulling him in for a dance as well. Kaiden was next, grinning widely and clearly enjoying himself. The music was loud, and the dance floor crowded, so there was little opportunity for talking, but they all let loose and were having fun together. </p><p>Alyssa snuck a look over to their table to see John watching her, but when she raised an eyebrow at him, he shook his head, laughing. John didn’t dance. </p><p>Garrus maneuvered back to her to steal her away for another dance and they moved so naturally together that Alyssa’s breath caught, completely comfortable in his embrace. She was practically floating in his arms, relying on his strength and skill to keep her upright and moving in the right direction. The pleased humming sounds he was making could only be felt by her, the music drowning out everything else. </p><p>Needing to catch her breath for a moment, she motioned to the bar and indicated that she was going to get a drink. Garrus made to join her when Ashley of all people grabbed his hand for a dance, and he couldn’t refuse. Ashley making the effort to connect with Garrus was a welcome and wonderful surprise. </p><p>Alyssa made her way over to the bar by herself and flagged down the bartender. It was a lot busier at the bar now however, so she had to wait to catch his eye. As she was waiting, a guy she hadn’t noticed before squeezed in next to her. She turned at the contact and found a shady looking Human, with ashy blonde hair who was giving her an obvious once-over. He looked to be in his early thirties and was wearing a neon green shirt, making him look like a radioactive Kermit the Frog. She sighed and focused on the bartender, still off on the far side of the bar. </p><p>“Hey, baby, what’s a good-looking girl like you doing in a place like this?” she heard him say.  </p><p>Apparently pickup lines hadn’t improved much over the years, she thought as she rolled her eyes. </p><p>“Celebrating with my friends,” she answered, motioning to the table where John was sitting with Decian, Anderson, Joker, Wrex and a few other members of the crew. She hoped the contingent of men in uniform would be enough to dissuade him from his attempted pickup. No such luck tonight however, as he dismissed the table with a wave of his hand. </p><p>“Why don’t you dump those losers and hang out with me instead? I can show you a good time, baby, I promise,” he leered at her. He was slurring slightly, obviously already drunk or well on his way there.  </p><p>She felt an instinctive shiver run down her spine at his words and was debating how to get rid of him without making a scene when the bartender approached her. He smiled at her and she ordered her drinks, ignoring the guy next to her. </p><p>As the bartender moved away to get her drinks, the obnoxious guy tried again, putting his hand on her arm to get her attention. She turned to him, annoyance clear on her face. </p><p>“Get your hands off me,” she told him firmly. Before she could do anything more about it, she felt someone slide in behind her and put his hand around her waist. Turning her head, she was immediately relieved to find Garrus at her back. He had obviously been keeping an eye on her from the dance floor and saw the guy making his move. </p><p>“Hey sweetheart, is this guy bothering you?” he purred in her ear while giving the guy in question a predatory look. </p><p>***TW1***</p><p>The guy’s eyes got big, and his demeanor changed abruptly, hate flashing in his eyes. Instead of cutting his losses and leaving however, he increased the grip on her arm until he had her in a painful vice and said: “Ditch the bird, baby, come home with me. Stick to your own kind.”  </p><p>Her heart was caught in her throat, and Alyssa knew that if she didn’t sort this out quickly, Garrus was going to interfere in a more lethal way and that could get him in trouble. </p><p>“Last chance, asshole, go away before you get hurt,” she snapped as she pulled her arm out of his grip.  </p><p>Garrus, who was growling behind her, was letting her handle it, which she appreciated. She appreciated the fact he was there even more. She’d been in bars and clubs back on Earth where similar things had happened, and she’d been afraid a few times of what would happen when she turned a guy down. Not all of them took it well and it looked like this was one of those times. </p><p>“You fucking whore, letting some disgusting-looking alien freak touch you like that. Traitor bitch. Who wants a dirty slut like you anyway?” he spat at her, swaying slightly.  </p><p>Alright, that was enough, she decided, completely fed up with this racist piece of shit now that he'd offended both of them and clearly couldn't take a hint to save his own life. She stepped forward before he realized what she was doing and turned into him, kneeing him in the groin. He collapsed and she grabbed his ear on the way down, twisting and pulling it painfully, bringing her head down to his level. </p><p>“I’m the good cop, asshole. The guy behind me? He’ll tear your spine out for talking to me like that. So, be a good little boy and go away, before more than your balls and your pride get hurt,” she whispered viciously. </p><p>***End TW1***</p><p>When she stood up, both Wrex and Decian were by her side, smirking at the guy, who was doubled-over in front of them, cupping his balls and trying to catch his breath. </p><p>“Want me to kill him, Princess?” Wrex growled and she distinctly heard a whimper escape from Kermit the Drunk trying to get away from them. </p><p>“Thanks, Wrex, but I’ll just be happy if he’s out of my sight. A reminder on how to treat women, and aliens, wouldn’t go amiss, I suppose,” she grinned. Both Decian and Wrex returned her grin and nodded. </p><p>“We’ll take care of it, Princess,” Wrex promised her and both men dragged the unlucky guy out of the club. </p><p>She turned and Garrus wrapped her into his arms, resting his head on top of hers. </p><p>“Thanks for keeping an eye on me, big guy,” she whispered, and he hummed at her in acknowledgement.  </p><p>“You handled it well, though, you didn’t really need me,” he replied, and she smiled. </p><p>“I wish I could say that was the first time some drunk asshole tried to hit on me, but it wasn’t. But one that put his hands on me like that, that’s pretty rare. Thanks for letting me handle it. I was worried you would have, eh, exerted more force to get him to leave me alone,” she said with a lopsided smile. </p><p>“I was about thirty seconds away from tearing his arm off,” he admitted without a trace of humor. She knew she should be horrified by the fact he would employ such violence, but she quite liked this protective side of him and all she could feel was that lovely buzzing on her skin. She was intensely grateful that he was there. </p><p>The bartender had apparently witnessed the whole thing, or enough of it, because when Decian and Wrex returned a few minutes later, he waived them back to their table and then sent them all drinks on the house. She sat down with her friends and quickly filled in John about what happened. He gave her a hug and had a silent exchange with Garrus, with both men nodding at each other and then smiling.  </p><p>Decian and Wrex didn’t have any trouble with the subdued drunk and Decian assured her that he had his personal details and would run him through C-Sec’s database the next day. She thanked them both profusely, giving each a kiss on the cheek. Decian blushed a deep blue in his neck, and Wrex huffed, but seemed pleased nonetheless. </p><p>Determined not to let it ruin her night, she went back out to the dance floor once she’d finished her drink. Like before, most of the team joined her, John, Joker and Anderson the only ones not to make it out there for at least one dance. She noticed with a sly smile that Ashley and Kaiden were dancing together often and closely. Kaiden looked happy and Ashley looked relaxed, which was a nice break from the norm for both of them.  </p><p>Decian pulled her into another dance, while Garrus was dancing with Tali and Liara was swaying with Nihlus, their other friends piling in to crowd the available space. It was such a lovely evening and Alyssa couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She was with friends, she was dancing and having a good time. She was happy. </p><p>The night stretched out, with them alternatively dancing and hanging out at the table for more drinks. The atmosphere was relaxed, and it got busier as the evening progressed.  </p><p>Word had gotten around that John was there, and people were approaching the table to congratulate him, with the women being especially appreciative. She saw him fend off the more amorous ones with a small smile on her face. He would search for her every time it happened, and she would give him a dirty smile and a wink. He would shake his head at her amusement, but smiled back, nonetheless. When she sat down next to him, she couldn’t help but lean over and tease him.  </p><p>“Aren’t you popular tonight?” she whispered in his ear with a small chuckle. </p><p>“Laugh it up, Red, at least I didn’t have to knee any of mine in the groin,” he quipped, and she snorted. </p><p>“Touché, John. You know, this reminds me of the story you told me about the blonde with the Star of Terra fetish. And looking at you sitting here, so handsome in your uniform, I’ve gotta say, I totally get what she was thinking,” she said, moving her hand to rest on his thigh. </p><p>He turned to look at her and she could see the heat in his eyes.  </p><p>“Right back at you, Red, that dress looks fabulous on you. Of course, it would also look fabulous on the floor of my cabin.” </p><p>She laughed a warm, throaty laugh and squeezed his thigh. </p><p>“We should be able to arrange something,” she whispered, sharing conspiratorial smiles. She wished she could stay a bit longer, spend a little time with him, Joker and Anderson, but nature was calling quite adamantly and she really couldn't ignore it much longer.  </p><p>“But first, I really need to go to the bathroom. You only really borrow beer, you know,” she grinned as she scooted out of her seat.  </p><p>The bathrooms were way in the back and she quickly lost sight of her table and the guys still on the dance floor. Fortunately, there wasn’t a line to the ladies’ bathroom, which was something she wasn’t used to when she went clubbing. </p><p>She slipped in and found an empty booth. She did her business and when she came out, she moved to one of the sinks and looked in the mirror.  </p><p>***TW2***</p><p>She jumped when she saw someone stand behind her. She turned quickly and was face to face with someone familiar. The man in front of her was tall, with long black hair and a pale face. His whole demeanor was threatening and as he advanced towards her, she felt a distinct panic rise up in her, which she tried to suppress. Fight or flight kicked in, and she looked around for a way out, but he was blocking the only exit. Her heart started beating loudly in her chest and her breathing sped up as she tried frantically to remain calm. </p><p>Kai Leng. </p><p>Here for her. </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>Think, dammit. Okay, she was in a bathroom, so chances were good someone would come in quickly. But, she argued with herself, he was a killer, he wouldn’t need a lot of time.  </p><p>“What do you want?” she said, forcing her voice to sound even, asserting herself by stepping back from the sink and advancing on him. </p><p>“To know who you are,” he answered, the menace in his voice evident. He was not giving her an inch and was still cutting off her escape route. If she couldn't get away, she'd have to talk her way out, or hold out until help came. Either way, she had to keep thinking and keep her cool. Schooling her features, she tried not to let her fear show as she engaged him in conversation. </p><p>“And you thought walking into the ladies’ room was the best way to approach me? You could have just bought me a drink,” she said with a small smile, trying to diffuse some of the tension. She made a move to the door and he came closer, boxing her in. </p><p>“Who are you?” he repeated, practically growling. He looked like a poised tiger, ready to pounce. </p><p>“None of your business, let me go,” she said, trying to move towards the door again. He grabbed her arms and pushed her back into the sink, her back hitting the edge forcefully. She had to ignore the pain, concentrating her mind on the bigger problem, which was Kai Leng up close and in her face like this. </p><p>“You aren’t Alliance, even though you pretend to be. Why are you on the Normandy?” he growled at her, his face inches from hers. She couldn’t help the shiver running down her spine. She was alone with a cold-blooded killer, and help wasn’t immediately available. And unlike the drunk from earlier, she seriously doubted she could get another lucky knee in to incapacitate him. </p><p>“Running errands for your Illusive Man?” she bit out, hoping to rattle him and buy herself some time. She saw the quick flash she was looking for cross his face before his menacing sneer returned and decided to press her advantage. </p><p>“What, you think I don’t know who you work for? Who you are? I suggest you run along, before you get into a world of trouble when they find us.” </p><p>Instead of answering, he pulled out a gun and held it to her head. There was no time to panic, even as her pulse went haywire at the sight of the gun. She needed to stay calm, exude confidence. Losing control right now was not an option, so she gritted her teeth and focused on the man in front of her. </p><p>“How do you know who I am?” he demanded, pressing the pistol to her forehead. </p><p>“Alliance Intelligence, remember? Or didn’t you read my file?” she replied, determined not to show him how scared she was. Keeping him curious and off-balance seemed like the best strategy. She couldn’t outfight him, her only advantage was that she knew him, and he didn’t know her. </p><p>“Lies. No one in Alliance Intelligence knows you. The file is obviously fake,” he snapped at her. The slight tremble of doubt in his voice was there though. He wasn’t completely sure, and she’d rattled him a little, mentioning the Illusive Man. </p><p>“Right, because an intelligence operation is completely transparent. What, I don’t show up in the monthly newsletter? The receptionist doesn’t recognize me? I mean, I’m sure you know every single one of your Cerberus friends. You don't even know your boss' real name.” She laced the mocking tone strongly through her speech. She watched his eyes instead of the gun in his hand, which helped keep her fear at bay. It wasn't useful to her right now, so like the pain in her back, it was shunted ruthlessly to the side to deal with later.  </p><p>He was looking at her, the pressure of the gun wavering slightly, but she knew it would be stupid to make a run for it now. She had to keep him interested enough for help to get to her. </p><p>“I mean, the Alliance isn’t perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. They make mistakes, obviously. Like letting you make it through N7. It looks like your source on me is less than stellar. Whereas mine, well.” She managed to sound cavalier, goading him, stalling for time. </p><p>He looked surprised when she mentioned ‘N7’ and his eyes narrowed as he realized she might actually know who he was. </p><p>“If you want to make it out of here alive, telling me you know who I am is pretty fucking stupid,” he finally responded. </p><p>“You haven’t been given orders to kill Shepard’s crew. His goals align with Cerberus. We’re fighting Saren and the Geth and the Illusive Man supports that. I’m guessing he’ll frown on you losing your temper and killing a key member of his team. And I happen to know how he deals with people that displease him. You’re smart enough to avoid that. Besides, if you leave now, you can escape C-Sec and the dozen Alliance soldiers outside that door,” she told him in a firm, slightly bored voice.  </p><p>She saw him hesitate and back off from her. He lowered the gun and cursed. </p><p>“Get out,” he spat as he turned his body so she could leave. She didn’t hesitate and moved past him and walked out the door as calmly as she dared without running. She kept thinking he would shoot her as she passed, but it didn’t happen.  </p><p>***End TW2***</p><p>She made it back to their table in record time though, sinking down and grabbing John’s arm, shaking uncontrollably. He was talking to Decian and turned when he felt her presence. He took one look at her before grabbing her into a hug, concern radiating off him. </p><p>“What is it, Red, are you alright?”  </p><p>“No, I’m really not. One of Cerberus’ goons was waiting for me in the bathroom.” At this, Decian got up immediately, nodded to John and went to check. </p><p>She waited until Decian returned, bringing Garrus along with him. Decian shook his head, confirming what she’d already known. Kai Leng would be long gone by now. Garrus sat down at her other side and she was sitting securely between them both. </p><p>“What happened?” Garrus asked and when she looked up, she saw concerned looks around the table. Captain Anderson, Nihlus, Tali, Joker, Wrex and Decian were all within earshot. She sighed before starting. </p><p>“He was waiting for me in the bathroom, or maybe he followed me in, I don’t know. His name is Kai Leng. I think he was investigating us, the Normandy crew, I mean. He wanted to know who I was.” She felt Garrus’ and John’s grasps on her firm up at this. She smiled sadly at them both, putting her hands over theirs.  </p><p>“I’m guessing something didn’t add up in their research. I managed to convince him it would be better to let me go instead of risking him being found by C-Sec or the Alliance, considering he’s still supposed to do twenty years for murdering a Krogan.” </p><p>At this, John exhaled loudly, shaking his head. He looked worried, and she couldn’t really blame him. </p><p>“Tell us about him?” John asked and she nodded. </p><p>“He’s one of Cerberus' top operatives, a psychopath, preferring torture and murder to a more subtle approach. He's skilled at infiltration and interrogation. Leng is a former N7. He was convicted for murder, sentenced and then escaped. He'll be long gone by now, but if they’re sniffing around already, we need to be careful. He’s dangerous and he’d rather kill than leave witnesses. It’s important you all know who he is, and for you to take care. It’s unlikely they’ll harm Shepard, but the rest of us, especially the non-Humans, are expendable to Cerberus.” She looked around the table, checking everyone’s reaction. She could feel Garrus trembling next to her and she squeezed his hand, trying to steady him. </p><p>Garrus turned to Decian and they both nodded, knowing each other well enough that words were unnecessary. </p><p>“I’ll take care of it, Garrus, don’t worry,” Decian assured his friend as he got up. He leaned over to Alyssa and pressed a kiss to her head.  </p><p>“You did well, Alyssa. You stayed calm and got yourself out of a dangerous situation. But damn if trouble doesn’t follow you around,” he added with a sad smile. She smiled up at him and thanked him. He put his hand on Garrus’ shoulder, nodded again and left. </p><p>“I think this party is over, don’t you agree? Let’s round everyone up and get them on the Normandy. Captain, Nihlus, I can’t order either of you, obviously, but I’d feel better if we were all accounted for and no one goes off alone,” John said, looking around the table. </p><p>Both Anderson and Nihlus nodded and agreed to come along to the Normandy for the night. They would sort all of it out tomorrow. Tali stood up to round up the dancers, who’d missed all the commotion and looked confused until she and Wrex quickly explained what had happened. </p><p>John settled their bill and Garrus grabbed her bag out of her locker for her. Then they all went straight back to the Normandy, taking 3 people per skycar. None of them were traveling alone.  </p><p>Garrus and John were quiet on the way back. She was held steady in Garrus’ arms and her adrenaline had dropped after she’d acknowledged what had happened. She was trembling and Garrus was comforting her, running his hand over her back in small circles, murmuring comforting nonsense in her ear. She leaned into him and felt safe in his arms, trusting them to get her back to the Normandy. </p><p>When they got to dock 422, some of the team were already there. The skeleton crew were surprised to see them all troop in, but no one asked questions. John ordered them to secure the ship and not let anyone in. Pressly was issuing orders for armed guards to be posted by the airlock. By unspoken agreement, Garrus and John steered Alyssa into John’s cabin. When the door closed, John issued a lockdown command and the light by the door turned red. </p><p>They sat down on the side of the bed, Alyssa between both men. </p><p>“Alright, sweetheart, you’re safe. Decian was right, you know. You handled it well. You kept yourself safe and you got him to let you go,” Garrus told her, pride filling his voice. </p><p>“I was so scared. He’s a killer and I knew it. He got so angry when he thought I was lying to him, he put a gun to my head.” At this, both men blanched and shared a concerned look before turning their attention back on her.  </p><p>“I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared in my life,” she confessed. She was still shaking slightly, and her exhaustion poured through her. </p><p>They both leaned over to kiss one of her cheeks and the joint gesture made her chuckle weakly and reach out to cup both their faces. </p><p>“Decian will make sure he’s off the Citadel or arrested,” Garrus offered, certainty coloring his voice. </p><p>“I know. He’ll be long gone by now though, the guy’s been evading C-Sec and the Alliance for years,” she answered him, shooting him a small smile. </p><p>“Well, when we see him again, let’s make sure to resolve the problem permanently,” Garrus growled and John nodded his head in agreement. </p><p>They were in protective mode, she knew, and she loved them for it. Wedged between them, sitting on the edge of the bed, she felt safe and secure, loved even. </p><p>“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” she confessed quietly. </p><p>“Of course, Red, we’re all going to stay here tonight. I don’t think I could kick Garrus out if I wanted to, which I don’t. Why don’t we get into bed and get some sleep? It’s been a long day, even without fucking Cerberus scaring you half to death.” </p><p>“Thank you. I’d like that,” she responded, relief washing over her. </p><p>She sat on the bed as both men started taking off their boots. John padded over to his locker and gave her one of his tank tops to wear in bed. She smiled as she took it before getting up and turning her back to John, moving her hair to one side with her hand. </p><p>“Could you?” she asked, indicating the zipper. </p><p>“My pleasure,” he responded with a smile as he reached out to pull it down. He kissed the back of her neck when he finished, and she smiled at the loving gesture. She let the dress drop to the floor, leaving her in her new, black lacy underwear. Even though she was a bit of a mess at the moment, she still appreciated the admiring looks both men gave her. She kicked off her heels and removed her bra. </p><p>They groaned at the sight of her bared in front of them, but neither of them reached out or commented, recognizing the need for safety outweighed the need for sex. She put John’s tank top on and crawled into bed. Garrus retrieved some extra pillows from John’s locker and got in on the other side of the bed. She naturally merged into him, her back to his front. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her neck before settling in, making sure his fringe was properly supported. John was the last one into bed, turning to face her and kissing her on the lips. She reached out a hand to put on his chest and with a voice command, John turned off the lights. </p><p>"Sleep Lys, we've got you," Garrus murmured as he hugged her close. </p><p>Alyssa settled in, completely exhausted by the day's events and listened to their breathing. Garrus’ evened out first, and she could feel him relax against her. John took a little longer, but also dozed off. She smiled a little through her fear; having these two look after her and try to protect her was heartwarming. Knowing all possible safety precautions were being taken, she finally drifted off herself, safe in her warm cocoon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For those of you who skipped the sections marked with the trigger warning, but still want to know what happened, here's a quick summary:<br/>TW1: Drunk guy harasses Alyssa at the bar and gets upset when Garrus shows up. Alyssa deals with it and Wrex and Decian haul the guy out of the bar.</p><p>TW2: Kai Leng is waiting for Alyssa in the bathroom and wants to know what she's doing on the Normandy; he thinks her personnel file has been doctored. She uses what she knows about him to convince him to let her go before he's caught by either C-Sec or the Alliance.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa, John and Garrus spend the night together. The next morning, Anderson and Nilhus join them to compare notes on Cerberus and Kai Leng and discuss the next steps. Debriefing reveals several surprises, one of which has a big impact on Garrus.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa woke during the night from a nightmare, panting and sweating. Garrus was holding her tightly, and it took her a few seconds to figure out where she was and who she was with. She sat up in bed, the movement waking both men, who were watching her with matching concerned looks. She shook herself, both physically and mentally and whispered her apologies. </p><p>Garrus and John both waived her off, not caring that they’d been woken, more worried about how she was doing. Garrus got up to get her some water, and John nestled beside her, allowing her to crawl into his arms. </p><p>“Nightmare?” he asked her softly as Garrus came back to her side, carefully sliding into bed. </p><p>“Yeah, not a surprise, I suppose,” she sighed, trying to dispel the distressing images from her mind, before taking a big gulp of the water. Garrus rubbed her back and took the glass away when she finished it and she gave him a grateful smile. </p><p>“Wanna talk about it?” John offered and she took a minute to think about it. Her instinct was to say ‘no’, but then she remembered how much talking to Garrus about her other nightmare had helped, so she nodded instead. </p><p>“Kai Leng, of course,” she murmured. “But instead of listening to me and letting me leave, he kept me there, shooting me in the knee when I wouldn’t answer him. He was torturing me, and I couldn’t wake up. I felt so scared, and helpless. Bleeding on the bathroom floor, hoping someone would come to rescue me, but no one did.” </p><p>She felt the tears flow down her cheeks and couldn’t stop crying once she’d started, the feeling of being helpless still a visceral pain. John wrapped her up in his arms and held her. Garrus was as close to them as he could be, emitting a comforting purr that soothed her. When she released John, she moved into Garrus’ arms and he cradled her, kissing the top of her head. Finally, she calmed down enough to stop crying.  </p><p>Releasing a ragged breath, she looked at them in turn and gave a small smile in thanks. Letting go, even if it was just for a few minutes, helped immensely. They were both holding on to her, Garrus with his arm around her shoulders, and John with his arms around her waist and that helped more. She was nestled in between them, and it was a wonderful feeling, safe and secure.  </p><p>Whenever she’d had a nightmare at home, and that had happened often, especially after her parents' death, she’d woken up alone, drenched in sweat and terrified. No one to share her pain with, or to comfort her or calm her down. It suddenly struck her that she’d been more alone in her old life than she was here. A warm surge of affection swept through her for the two men holding her. They hadn’t hesitated when they’d heard what had happened and had made sure that she was protected. Without a word, they’d both stayed with her, making her their priority. She really wasn't alone anymore. </p><p>“We’re here now, sweetheart. I’m sorry we didn’t notice you were in trouble,” Garrus whispered, and he sounded so sad she reached out instinctively and kissed him. After a moment's hesitation, he deepened their kiss, opening his mouth and slipping his tongue out to meet hers. She moaned as he reached over to cup her jaw while he did it and let her hand travel to his mandible. </p><p>She felt John’s grip on her waist tighten and she curled her other hand over his jaw, pulling him in closer. She pulled back from Garrus with a smile and turned her head to kiss John next. He leaned in and kissed her with great urgency, before breaking the kiss to tell her: “I’m glad you’re okay, Red. You got yourself out, you’re a total badass.” </p><p>She smiled at him then, before looking down self-consciously. </p><p>“I don’t feel like a badass. I feel like a little girl that was out of her depth and got lucky,” she confessed. When she looked up, both men were looking at each other and then at her, their faces serious. </p><p>“Don’t do this to yourself, Lys. You didn’t freeze, you kept thinking. You used the information you had at your disposal and made a tactical decision. It was the right decision and you should be proud of that. We will deal with the rest. We won’t let Cerberus hurt you, or anyone else on this crew,” Garrus told her emphatically, putting his finger under her chin to lift her gaze, making her look at him. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment, and she sighed. Turians were definitely on to something, she thought. It was such a comforting, loving gesture. </p><p>“Of course you’re rattled, Red, you went through something traumatic, it would shake anyone. Right now, though, you’re safe, well protected, and I’m thinking quite snug between Garrus and I,” John added. He kissed her again and he was right. She felt safe here, in John’s bed. </p><p>“Snug’s one word for it,” she conceded with a sly smile that lit up both men.  </p><p>“Let us take your mind off the bad stuff, then, Red,” John suggested, his hand trailing up her waist until it was right below her breast. At his words, Garrus’ sub-vocals dropped an entire register and emitted a delicious low grumble that sent a flush of heat soaring through her. </p><p>“Yes, please,” she whispered in a husky voice, and because she was facing John, she kissed him first. He returned her kiss fervently, making her moan and reach out to him to grab the front of his shirt. He chuckled before opening his mouth, inviting her to snake her tongue against his. His hand completed its journey to its intended target as he cupped her breast, giving it a firm squeeze.  </p><p>Garrus slid her hair away to the side, giving himself better access to her neck, nuzzling kisses and running his hand over her waist. She maneuvered her hand, so it was stroking his fringe and his grumbling deepened further. The low humming on her skin started again and picked up in intensity as he slid the tank top she was wearing up to expose her waist to him. His talons trailing over her skin felt wonderful. It didn't take long for her to be completely distracted by what they were doing, her nightmare pushed to the back of her mind in favor of more delightful stimuli. </p><p>She turned to Garrus to kiss him and found him staring at her with obvious lust in his eyes. </p><p>“You’re sure?” he asked as he studied her closely. It was sweet, and typical of the man she knew him to be. He looked after her, made sure she was alright. She nodded with a smile and he closed the distance between their lips, snaking his tongue out to meet hers. She emitted a happy sigh at their contact, which changed to a deep moan as John increased the pressure on her breast, teasing her nipple between his thumb and index finger. </p><p>“God, I love your tits, Red,” she heard John sigh as he started taking off the top she was wearing. As soon as he’d removed it, his head moved down, and he wasted no time sucking on her nipples. She arched her back, pushing her breasts into his mouth and heard him chuckle softly. </p><p>“That’s it, baby, we’ve got you,” he murmured, focusing completely on the task at hand. She and Garrus were kissing, their tongues playing together. She was stroking his fringe, letting her hand travel to the back of his head, to that spot she knew he loved. He groaned into her mouth when she reached it, and she tilted her head to give him access to her throat. He hummed in approval, desire lacing through each sound, as he attacked her soft skin with his mouth, licking and nipping her neck. His hands were still on her waist, but they were making their way to her thong. He slipped it down her legs slowly, until she got a bit impatient and kicked it off herself, making both men huff out a laugh. </p><p>Alyssa had never been so turned on. She felt like all her senses were set ablaze, firing bolts of pleasure through her entire body. Her skin practically vibrated, the hum she thought of as Garrus’ kicking up significantly when he started gently biting her neck.  </p><p>Breathing heavily, she managed to whisper: “Clothes off, gentlemen, I need you naked.”   </p><p>Both soldiers replied in tandem: “Yes, ma’am,” before detaching from her and racing each other in their quest to undress. She used the slight reprieve to pull herself into a sitting position against the headboard, watching them both. Each of them was gorgeous in their own way and she felt so damn lucky to be where she was right then. All thoughts of her earlier ordeal or of why they were all awake in the small hours of the night were forgotten as she watched them hustle on either side of the bed.</p><p>John was the first to shirk his clothes and sat next to her, tilting his body so he could kiss her and fondle her tits. Garrus joined on her other side and nuzzled her neck before moving down and wrapping his long tongue around her nipple. She moaned loudly at the sensation that traveled directly to her clit, tightening her core muscles and drenching her center. John leaned back to see what Garrus was doing and had the dirtiest smile she’d ever seen plastered all over his face. </p><p>“Fuck, that’s hot,” he groaned and Garrus and Alyssa chuckled. John grinned at her and moved down to her chest, taking her other nipple in his mouth. The sight of them side by side, devouring her breasts was almost too much for her. She reached out to stroke their heads, reaching Garrus’ soft spot and John’s nape. </p><p>In response, Garrus nipped her nipple, knowing how much she liked it. She threw her head back as the pleasure ran roughshod through her body. Garrus moved one of his hands down her leg to her knee and applied the smallest of pressures, pushing her knee outward. She happily complied and felt his hand travel upwards, his talons marking a path up her inner thigh, not enough to be painful, but enough to add to the delicious humming of her skin. </p><p>“That’s it, open your legs for us, sweetheart,” Garrus murmured and the ‘us’ part of that sentence blew her mind. </p><p>He started rubbing her clit, and, as primed as she already was, she came hard, her scream catching in her throat as she let out a silent choke, her body going rigid before the shakes set in. For several long seconds, no sound filtered through and the only thing she could hear was her own heart pounding in her chest. When she started to regain some of her senses, both men were looking up at her with lust-filled eyes and a significant amount of pride. </p><p>“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing that,” John said with a satisfied sigh and Garrus hummed in agreement. They gave her some time to come down from her orgasm, giving her only soft touches and alternating kisses until her breathing had evened out again and she was a bit more coherent. </p><p>They were both stroking themselves leisurely, completely hard, and when she focused on their hands, it was enough to make her drool. She was transfixed, following the slow movements up and down and she instinctively reached out both hands to touch them.  </p><p>“May I?” she asked as she put her hands over theirs and they both let her, removing their hands. She started at the base, and stroked up, causing moans to escape on the left and right of her. She marveled at the difference between them. She was able to wrap her hand around John’s, although he was definitely larger than average for a Human. With Garrus’ however, she couldn’t quite get her fingers to touch at the base. She loved the ridges and bumps and the fact that it was coated in lubricant. Jerking off Garrus was fabulous. She was feeling powerful and sexy, with two big strong men at her mercy. </p><p>Taking her eyes off what her hands were doing now that she had a rhythm going, she looked into John’s eyes and he kissed her roughly, his hand tangling in her hair. His tongue pushed into her mouth, and an animalistic growl escaped him. Garrus meanwhile, was nestled in her neck and as she gave a particularly pleasurable twist on the upward movement of her hand, he bit down hard enough to leave a bruise. Her groan in response was almost completely muffled by John’s mouth over hers.  </p><p>John pulled back from their kiss, pupils blown and put his hand over the one she had on his cock, stilling her movements. He leaned into her ear, head close to Garrus’ as well and said: “Remember what I told you this morning, Red?” That seemed like such a long time ago that it took her a moment to remember, but when she did, a huge grin appeared on her face.</p><p>“I remember, John, is that what you want?” she murmured. Her tone of voice and the low register clearly conveyed her approval. Her eyes shone at him, and she bit her lower lip in anticipation. She felt a momentary flutter of nerves; she'd never been with two guys at the same time before. But then she looked at them, saw the desire and affection there and that settled her. She trusted her guys.</p><p>“That is absolutely what I want, Red. Think Garrus would be game?” At this, they both turned to look at Garrus. When he saw their looks, he purred appreciatively. </p><p>“What did your dirty minds cook up?” he teased, focusing on Alyssa’s lower lip, still being mauled by her teeth. </p><p>“Tell him what you want, baby. Use your words while you still can,” John whispered in her ear. The promise that she would be using her mouth for something else soon was enough to send another sinful shiver down her spine. Wanting to be level with his head, she pushed herself up with both hands. She reached out to Garrus, closing the distance between them and giving him a kiss before she nuzzled his neck. She kissed her way to his mandible, using her fingernails to scratch a path down his chest. </p><p>“I want to be on my hands and knees for you,” she whispered to Garrus, aware that John could also hear her. She’d moved forward a little, which put John behind her. Her hands were keeping her steady on Garrus’ chest, and she was using her knees to bring herself up to the right height to reach his neck comfortably. John was using the change in her position to stroke his hand down her back, sliding it in between her legs. He dipped over her wet center and began making small circular motions over her sensitive nub, much like he’d done in the shower that morning. She sighed and moved back into his hand, keeping the pressure on. </p><p>Garrus responded strongly to what she was doing and saying and reached out a hand to sharply pinch her nipple. </p><p>“Tell me more, sweetheart,” he murmured as she panted from the sudden sensation. “What do you want?” he cajoled, urging her to verbalize her needs. </p><p>“I want you to fuck me, big guy,” she purred. “I want that beautiful cock inside me, filling me up. I want to feel your talons digging into my hips as you fuck me.”  </p><p>“I can do that,” he deadpanned, the desire in his voice obvious. Then he quirked an eyebrow at John in question before focusing back on Alyssa. The implication was clear. </p><p>“We’re going to show you that Human trick we discussed, big guy.” At this, his sub-vocals went into overdrive and the look of pure lust he cast her way was almost enough to make her come again. </p><p>“Oh, I absolutely approve of this plan,” he chuckled, pulling her in for a fierce kiss. </p><p>“Condoms are in the front compartment of the backpack, gorgeous,” Alyssa whispered, and he practically sprang out of bed. In a few quick strides he was by her pack, opening it quickly and bringing over the whole box in his haste to get back to them. Now it was John’s turn to quirk an eyebrow at her. </p><p>“We’re not completely sure I don’t have an allergic reaction to dextro, so until Chakwas clears me, we use condoms, and no blowjobs for Garrus,” she explained quietly, in between moans. John was still playing with her, slipping his fingers inside leisurely, not in a hurry to get her off. It was more than enough to keep her soaking wet and completely turned on, though.  </p><p>He nodded in understanding. “I hope that gets sorted soon then, Garrus, because I’m sorry to say you’re missing out. Red gives amazing head,” he winked at her. </p><p>Garrus had made his way back to her side and gave her a cheeky smirk. </p><p>“I have no doubt about that,” he grinned, kissing her again with a fond look on his face. It was John who took charge then, turning her towards him, removing his hand from between her legs, making her sigh at the loss. He gripped the back of her head and pulled her into a fierce kiss. When he released her, they locked eyes and smiled at each other, anticipation building. </p><p>“On your hands and knees, baby, let’s show Garrus how it’s done.” She was more than happy to comply, moving her hands down to the bed to support herself while John moved in front of her. His cock was sticking out from his body, bobbing in front of her face. He grabbed it, stroking a few times before running it over her closed lips. She darted out her tongue and licked his moisture off her lips, earning her a pleased smile from John as she looked up at him. </p><p>“That's it. Damn, Red. Open that pretty mouth, baby,” he cooed. </p><p>He angled his cock closer and she ran her tongue over the head, before she moved to slide her mouth over his cock, taking him in. She heard his breath hitch as she closed her lips over his head, letting her tongue lick over and around it completely. She did this several times before she wanted more and started moving her mouth up and down his cock, taking more in on each downward motion.  </p><p>Garrus had moved behind her, one of his hands resting on her hips. She couldn’t see him of course, but he didn’t seem to be moving. Just before she could worry about it, however, she heard him exhale sharply. </p><p>“Ancestor’s ass, that is so fucking hot,” he groaned, and she felt his hand flex into her hip. She couldn’t help the broad smile that appeared on her face, and when she looked up at John, she could see it mirrored in his. She pulled back slightly, too curious not to, and looked back at Garrus. He was staring at them open-mouthed, and when their eyes met, she practically melted. </p><p>“You okay back there, big guy?” she asked, pretty sure what the answer was going to be just based off the look on his face, but like Garrus checking with her earlier, she needed to be sure. This was new to all of them, after all, and she didn't want to trip over any inter-species misunderstandings. </p><p>“We are definitely going to see Chakwas tomorrow and get this sorted out,” he said adamantly. She grinned at him and nodded happily. John was softly stroking her face, a gentle reminder that he was there. She leaned into the contact and sighed. Noticing their touch seemed to jolt Garrus into action. His hand moved up her back and down her spine before dipping lower and teasing her now very wet opening. Alyssa moaned and he chuckled before slipping one of his fingers inside. She pushed back against him, and he moved his finger in and out of her, adding another finger once he realized she could take it. </p><p>Satisfied now that she knew Garrus was onboard and incredibly aroused by being between the two of them, she turned back to John and looked up at him with a dirty grin. She opened her mouth to form a perfect ‘o’ and he smiled and thrust his hips forward, sliding down her throat before pulling back and repeating the move. They found a rhythm that worked for them, pushing Alyssa higher and higher, completely overcome by what they were doing to her. All too soon, as she was taking John almost all the way down into her throat, she felt Garrus’ fingers leave her. She gave a pitiful little moan, and she heard John chuckle. </p><p>“Don’t worry, baby, just wait,” he soothed her. Unlike Alyssa, John was able to see what Garrus was doing. His hand was on the back of her head, but he was letting her set the pace. He was breathing heavily, and a small sheen of sweat was forming on his torso. He looked delicious and if her mouth weren’t currently occupied, she’d be licking his chest instead. </p><p>She felt Garrus’ hand on her hip before she felt his cock move through her wet folds. She moaned in anticipation, which set off John as well. And then Garrus slid right in, inching inside her steadily, his hands on her hips, his talons digging into the soft flesh there. He hilted into her easily and she was groaning at the sensation of being filled. The angle was divine and when he started moving, her whole body sang out. Every thrust Garrus made would push John’s cock in her mouth. Garrus was absolutely rock steady behind her, keeping her stable, while increasing the intensity of his movements. She wanted to cry out in pleasure but had to settle for an almost continuous moan instead. </p><p>Garrus’ height was an advantage and before long, he’d reached over and started playing with her nipples. Slight caresses and squeezes at first, but based on her reactions, he increased the pressure and pinched them sharply, alternating left and right. This, in addition to hitting her clit with each forward movement, was ramping up her build to another orgasm. Her rhythm faltered as she was sucking off John and she found it increasingly difficult to focus on her actions when she was being so expertly fucked from behind by Garrus. They noticed of course, both of them also very close to their own releases. When she looked up at John, he gave her a beatific smile and stroked her cheek. Then his gaze went to Garrus and whatever he saw there was enough confirmation. </p><p>“I’m close, baby,” he warned. He gripped her hair and thrust into her mouth two, three times before she could feel the throbbing of his cock and his release that followed immediately after. John went rigid before her, almost collapsing, holding her head in place. She swallowed it all down before steeling herself with one hand against John’s thigh, pushing back slightly to catch her breath.  </p><p>She could tell Garrus was close to his own release behind her as his rhythm faltered and became more erratic. He pulled her up by her torso, moving her so she was taut against him. He swept her hair to one side, exposing her shoulder and tilted her head to the side for better access. He bit down in the soft part of her neck with his mouth plates, cradling her head in his large hand. His other hand snaked down and rubbed her clit furiously. With a few more hard, irregular thrusts, they both came together, Alyssa’s muscles tightening around him, his strength keeping them upright. When she opened her eyes, she saw John lying on his back in front of her, completely focused on her and Garrus. She reached back to cup Garrus’ mandible, resting against her neck and caressed up his fringe. He purred happily before loosening his hold on her, letting them both move to a more horizontal position on the bed. </p><p>All three of them collapsed onto the bed, completely spent. Alyssa felt relaxed and satisfied, and a broad smile spread across her features. That had been even hotter than she could have imagined.   She looked at Garrus, who was turned to face her, pillows in place to support his fringe, one arm tucked behind his head while the other was trailing random patterns on her stomach. He was rumbling lazily, completely blissed out, mandibles flared in a happy smile. She reached over to stroke his jaw and rubbed their noses together. He released the most adorable chirp when she did. Then she turned to John to find him on his back with his head turned to her, his eyes glazed over in a post-orgasmic cloud of pleasure. </p><p>“That was amazing, Red. Fuck,” he exhaled, shaking his head in wonder. Her grin widened as she nodded in agreement. Garrus gave an amused chuckle behind her. </p><p>“It was so hot to see you two come together,” John added wistfully. Behind her, Garrus spoke up, just loud enough for both of them to catch, but not enough to carry across the room. It felt wonderfully intimate, especially in his deep, rumbling voice. </p><p>“Hottest thing I’ve ever done,” Garrus agreed with them. “I was worried I might be jealous, but I wasn’t. Sharing you is amazing.” His tone was thoughtful, and she turned to him again, seeing him look at her fondly. </p><p>“How about you, sweetheart, did you like it?” he asked, tender care wrapping around her as his voice caressed her soul. </p><p>“I did,” she nodded with a sly smile, “I can’t believe we did that. It was fantastic, completely overwhelming.” She grinned, turning her head so she could watch them both. “More than that, though, you make me feel safe, and wanted, and cherished. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. Sometimes I still can't believe this is real, and you're both here,” she said, noticing her voice was a little wobbly, shaking her head slightly as if to chase away the memories of her past life. Both men moved to cushion her against them, wrapped in their warm embrace. </p><p>“Hey now, I can see the wheels turning in there. I don't want you to worry about us. I’m happy right where I am, Red, I’m not going anywhere,” John promised her, giving her a kiss. </p><p>“Neither am I, Lys. We're real and we're here,” Garrus promised and she turned her head to kiss him, too. “Unless, you know, Shepard kicks me out of what is technically <i>his</i> bed,” he added. There was a beat before all three of them broke out in silly giggles. </p><p>“Only when you try to sneak in when Red’s not here. Not sure I’m ready for that,” John quipped, and the mental image was enough to release a full belly laugh from Alyssa, and a loud snort from Garrus. </p><p>“On my honor as a Turian, Shepard, I’m only interested in bedding Alyssa,” Garrus answered gravely, which set the two Humans in the room off. </p><p>“Glad we got that cleared up, fellas, I don’t want to walk in on anything untoward,” Alyssa deadpanned. </p><p>Once their laughter subsided, they nestled into the bed, pulling the covers back up and settling in for the few hours before they had to get up. Alyssa gave them a goodnight kiss, before turning to nestle against Garrus, her back to his chest, with her hand over John’s heart. He closed his hand over hers, gave it a squeeze and then dropped right to sleep. She followed right behind him.  </p><p>No nightmares this time.</p><p>***</p><p>They woke up a few hours later feeling rested and relaxed. For Alyssa, the terror she felt after her confrontation with Kai Leng had abated, not completely of course, but significantly enough for her to function. It was offset by the care and concern that Garrus and John had displayed. She’d been rattled by Leng showing up when he did, an event she hadn’t anticipated. And even though her new friends and crewmates had been relatively close by, they hadn’t been able to help her when she'd needed it. She shuddered when she thought too hard about all the things that could have gone wrong if she hadn’t been able to convince Leng to let her leave. And even though she was quite sure that he’d be long gone from the Citadel by now, she was equally sure that they would run into him, or Cerberus, again in the future. </p><p>Exchanging sleepy morning kisses with John and Garrus, all three of them got up and took turns showering. They’d discussed shared showers briefly, but they were all in amused agreement that while absolutely fun, it would add time they didn’t have to their wake-up schedule. </p><p>John informed them that their first meeting, with Anderson and Nihlus, was scheduled at 08:00, and a full team briefing would take place at 11:00.  </p><p>Alyssa was very glad she’d thought ahead yesterday, and ensured she had her uniform with her, so she could change after her shower and look presentable. When she came out, she walked over to Garrus and stood still in front of him. When she got his attention, she asked: “Smell me?” </p><p>He laughed out loud before leaning over to move his head into the crook of her neck. He inhaled deeply before giving her a cheeky nip and when she gasped at the sudden move, he again laughed before assuring her that she was fine. No Garrus or Shepard scent left on her. </p><p>“Thank you, big guy,” she said, leaning her forehead to his quickly. John was looking at them with an amused expression and so she explained. </p><p>“Apparently Turians and Krogan have a very sensitive sense of smell. After last night, I smelled like you both. Nihlus and Wrex would pick up on it immediately. And we haven’t talked about how open we want to be about us, and don’t have time to do it now. So, it’s probably best to be careful.” </p><p>John’s eyes went a bit bigger, and Garrus smiled when he realized he didn’t know about the enhanced sense of smell. </p><p>“Right, we should absolutely talk about what we want, and how we want it sometime soon, but at the moment, I agree with your assessment. For now, let’s keep it to ourselves as much as we can,” John agreed. “Not that I’m ashamed or anything, let me be clear,” he added, closing the distance to Alyssa and kissing her. </p><p>At Garrus’ cough, he disengaged and laughed. “Enhanced sense of smell, right. Sorry.” </p><p>“Think we can pretend that we had a pre-meeting in your cabin, just the three of us, or should we try to sneak out and go to our separate quarters and meet in the comms room?” Alyssa asked, still laughing at their predicament. “Not sure if it’s just me, but I haven’t been this stealthy about where I spent the night since I was a teenager,” she grinned as John and Garrus started laughing, both of them nodding.  </p><p>“My dad caught me sneaking back in once, late at night. I’d been, eh, <i>visiting</i>, my neighbor two doors down and when I tried to quietly make my way back to my room in the dark, the lights came on and there was Castis Vakarian, looking foreboding. He smelled her on me, of course, and tried to ground me for a month. I was home from the military for three months, between deployments, and he wanted to keep me home for a third of it. I was about nineteen at the time, legally considered an adult, so I just looked right at him and shrugged. I thought he was going to explode, but he didn’t want to wake my mother, so he could only rage silently. He didn’t talk to me for the rest of my stay. Gotta love Dad, stubborn bastard,” Garrus told them, shaking his head at the memory. Alyssa grabbed his hand and gave him a sympathetic squeeze.  </p><p>“Try sneaking around on an Alliance ship as a teenager. Practically impossible. I didn’t get any action until I was in boot camp,” John shared with a sigh. Both Alyssa and Garrus laughed at that. </p><p>“Poor John, years later, and you’re still sneaking around on an Alliance ship,” Alyssa joked. “Sounds like nothing has changed.” </p><p>He grinned and grabbed her, his hands around her waist.  </p><p>“I wouldn’t say that Red, I certainly never had as much fun on board my mother’s ship as I’ve been having the last week,” he murmured against her lips. </p><p>“Good to know, John, there should be some perks to being in charge,” she replied before kissing him. Again, Garrus coughed and they broke apart, laughing. </p><p>“Right, we do need to get out of here. I’ll go first, and then let you know if the coast is clear. I don’t think anyone’s going to look twice at me coming out of my own quarters,” John said, clearing this throat and smoothing over his uniform. </p><p>He turned and winked, and Alyssa reached out to smack his ass, making him yelp. He gave her a glare before unlocking the door and leaving. </p><p>She and Garrus waited quietly for a few minutes before John’s ‘all clear’ message came in and they went to the comms room. Garrus waited at the top of the stairs, so they all arrived separately.  </p><p>***</p><p>Nihlus was already there when Alyssa came in and when he saw her, he stood and came over to her, giving her an assessing look before opening his arms and pulling her into a hug. She gratefully accepted and hugged him back. </p><p>“How are you? Did you get any sleep?” Nihlus asked her softly. She disentangled herself from his long limbs and looked up at him, smiling. </p><p>“I’m alright, considering. Glad to be back on board and safe, though, not gonna lie. Thank you for asking, and for the hug,” she replied, giving him a warm smile. He squeezed her shoulder and moved away as Captain Anderson came in with Garrus. Anderson nodded at all of them, his eyes lingering on Alyssa. He gave her encouraging smile and came over to pat her shoulder in a paternal way. </p><p>“You look like you got some sleep, at least,” he said after checking her carefully. </p><p>“Yes, I did, thank you. I’m practically functional, even though I’m not a morning person,” she responded. Again, she was struck by the level of concern the people around her exhibited for her well-being. She was slowly opening her heart to all of them, finding her place among them. Her new family, when her own was gone or, like her friends back home, out of reach. </p><p>At that point, John gestured for all of them to take their seats. They settled into the circle and with a sigh, John started. </p><p>“So, obviously what happened yesterday shook all of us. Cerberus is sniffing around, and using an assassin to do it, which doesn’t bode well for their intentions. Any ideas on how to handle this?” </p><p>It was quiet for a beat after this, but then Anderson spoke up, moving forward to rest his elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. </p><p>“I did some digging yesterday after we got back. Alyssa’s right, of course, he’s dangerous and a wanted criminal. He escaped from prison and we expect that Cerberus helped get him out.” At this, he looked at Alyssa, who nodded. “He completed N7 and was listed as a promising soldier, high expectations. Very proficient and efficient. Ruthless, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing for a soldier. The incident with the Krogan wasn’t a shock to his superiors, but it was so high profile that they had to act. N7's are supposed to be the best of us, and we couldn’t afford a loose cannon like Leng. They threw the book at him, determined to make an example and show the galaxy that race-based attacks wouldn’t be tolerated by the Alliance,” Anderson continued. </p><p>“I still can’t believe he took down a Krogan by himself. How did he do it?” Garrus asked incredulously.  </p><p>Again, it was Anderson who answered. </p><p>“He was in a bar on the Citadel and picked a fight with a drunk Krogan mercenary. He managed to get his service blade in between his head and chest plates, wrenching the whole thing open before severing the arteries in his neck. The mercenary bled out on the floor before help could arrive. Leng was standing over the body, covered in blood, laughing. It was an open and shut case. Very embarrassing for the Alliance.” </p><p>Garrus hummed, impressed despite himself. “So, we’re dealing with a skilled killer. That’s always nice,” he added sarcastically. Then he turned to Alyssa. “Alyssa, you said that Cerberus agrees with what we’re trying to do here, any insight into why this changed?” </p><p>She turned the question over in her mind, looking at it analytically, locking her own feelings away. </p><p>“They’re here to gather intelligence on Shepard and the crew. Being the first Human Spectre raises his profile significantly. Next to that, our first job is hunting another Spectre. The fact that he’s one of the best and a Turian would all add to their interest in you.” She patted John’s knee before continuing. “Honestly, it wouldn’t be difficult for Cerberus to obtain the roster, they’re embedded in the Alliance. Sorry, Captain,” she added when she saw Anderson flinch. “He seemed interested in figuring out who I was. He obviously didn’t trust the dossier on file. He said that no one in Alliance Intelligence knew me, which is funny, because Kaiden said the same thing to me when I came on board.” At John’s raised eyebrows, she quickly shook her head. </p><p>“Sorry, I don’t mean to imply anything. I’m sure Kaiden isn’t Cerberus. Really. What I’m trying to get at is that obviously Cerberus or Leng himself have sources in Alliance Intelligence. I think he was trying to unravel a mystery. I mean, think about it. I’m not a Cerberus spy or he wouldn’t need to check, but he must have been wondering if I was a spy for someone else. In which case I might jeopardize the mission. Oddly enough, the Illusive Man wants us to succeed. He’s very good at threat assessments and planning.” </p><p>Nihlus nodded, following along with her logic. John looked thoughtful however and hesitated a little before speaking. </p><p>“Do you think he’ll keep coming after you?” he asked Alyssa. She sighed heavily; she had been asking herself the same thing. </p><p>“That part is more guesswork, because the games didn't really delve into Leng's personality. But my gut instinct is that unless the Illusive Man explicitly tells him to back off, he’s not going to stop. He knows I know who he is. He’s going to wonder what my next move is, and his way to deal with threats is to just eliminate them. There’s a reason the Alliance hasn’t been able to find him. He kills anyone that gets in his way. Not a lot of witnesses that are able to point law enforcement in the right direction. The only thing I know with any certainty is that it's very unlikely that he's still on the Citadel.” She shrugged, not knowing what else to add, and having no way to make any of them, or herself, feel better. </p><p>“I’ll check with Decian later, see what he found. But I tend to agree with Alyssa, he’ll be long gone from here. But that doesn't mean the threat is over. I guess we have to keep our guard up, and make sure Alyssa isn’t alone. It’s too risky,” Garrus said and Alyssa’s heart sank. </p><p>“I’m sorry, guys, I didn’t want to make everything more difficult. We really didn’t need any more problems,” she said with a voice that sounded small and sad. </p><p>John, next to her, patted her shoulder, trying to assure her it was fine. </p><p>“You didn’t do anything wrong, Alyssa, Kai Leng did. You managed to get away from him in one piece. If anything, we should have realized that you were at risk sooner,” John told her earnestly. Across from her, Nihlus nodded in agreement, catching her eye and giving her a reassuring smile. </p><p>“Right, so going forward, you’re not going anywhere without a buddy. You go in armor, and armed, and we increase your training to get you mission ready, fully qualified. I’ll talk to Ashley,” John said, and Alyssa could only nod. </p><p>Then John turned to Garrus. It seemed one long look was enough to convey his intent, and she had to work hard to suppress a smile. She really liked it when her guys worked together. </p><p>Garrus spoke up immediately. “I’ll focus on unarmed combat. She needs to be able to defend herself, even when she doesn’t have weapons at hand.” </p><p>John nodded, happy with the arrangement. Garrus smiled at her and it warmed her up inside. Garrus would make sure she would be able to protect herself, she was certain. </p><p>“Is there a threat to the larger team? Or is it just Alyssa?” John asked them, thinking out loud. </p><p>Now it was Nihlus that spoke up. “Based on what Alyssa and the Captain have been able to find out, it seems that they were looking for an anomaly. That would indicate that there is no immediate risk to the rest of you. As mentioned, Cerberus agrees with what we’re doing, bringing down Saren. From what you've told us, the Illusive Man believes the Reaper threat is real, or at least, he will in the future.” </p><p>Alyssa looked around the room, they were all in agreement with Nihlus’ assessment. </p><p>“Alright, then we focus on Alyssa’s security and keep an eye out for Leng. In the meantime, we have other things to concern ourselves with as well. Alyssa, care to tell us what you have Mordin working on?” John continued, changing the subject adroitly. </p><p>She looked up sharply, not having expected the question, and saw Garrus grinning from the corner of her eye. She turned to look at John and saw a glint of amusement there as well. She saw an opportunity to lighten the mood and she went for it.  </p><p>“Sure. I went to see him yesterday. He’s settling in well, still has to finish up some work for the clinic and some things for STG. Nice lab, by the way, he’s very impressed, Captain,” she said with a nod to Anderson, who smiled at the compliment. </p><p>“Stop stalling, Red, what do you want him to work on?” John pressed, not swayed by her flattery.  </p><p>“Pushy, pushy,” she grinned at him, and saw Nihlus hide a smirk. “I’m asking him to focus on coming up with something to identify and counteract indoctrination. We should be able to get some samples from the Thorian, and there are some orbs that the Leviathan uses that act the same way. We’ve discussed this.” John nodded, gesturing for her to continue. </p><p>“Well, there are some long-term things that he can’t work on yet, but that need his attention in the future, like the paralyzing agent the Collectors use to harvest Humans. He confirmed that he’d be able to support us there, as well.” Again, John nodded, impatience clear in the gesture. She wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. </p><p>“Spill it, Red, I know there’s more,” he pushed. She grinned at him, enjoying her game and the effect it was having on the men in the room. They were all tense, and worried about her. </p><p>“Alright, jeez, hold your horses. Short term, we need to find a way onto Tuchanka and get to the Shroud facility. It was used to deploy the Genophage and we’ll use it again to deploy the cure. STG has rigged the installation so it will explode when we try to use it. Mordin has agreed that he can repair the sabotage so it’s ready when he has the cure. That means he doesn’t have to die up there, although I didn’t tell him the last part,” she said. </p><p>“Smart plan, I approve,” John complimented her before narrowing his eyes at her again. “And what else?” </p><p>“He’ll be able to develop upgrades to the Normandy’s defenses and weapons, which we’ll need to be ready for the Collectors. He agreed that he would help where he could,” she added, smirking at John. Glancing over to Nihlus found him grinning madly, entertained by the back-and-forth between them. </p><p>“Good. That’ll be useful. Again, Red, is that all?” He was rubbing his forehead now in an exaggerated gesture and she had to stop herself from actually laughing out loud at his antics. </p><p>She gave him a sweet smile and heard Garrus suppress a chuckle. </p><p>“He’s also looking into two diseases for me, to see if he can help develop a cure, or at least a more effective treatment.” At his surprised look, she explained further. </p><p>“Kepral’s Syndrome, which is limited to Drell and lethal. The Drell aren’t a Council race, so they don’t get the support they need to resolve it. The Hanar are working on a cure, but it’s not a priority for anyone except the Drell that are dying from it. Mordin seemed fascinated and was eager to get started. If it works, he may have found a way to save up to a quarter of the Drell population. It means the Drell might have a future.” </p><p>John nodded and looked proud of her. “Good thinking, Alyssa. The second one?” he prodded. </p><p>She took a deep breath and turned to John, keeping Garrus firmly in her periphery. “Corpalis Syndrome,” she said, her voice sounding small. She wasn’t sure how Garrus would react and she was worried she’d overstepped. His whole body froze before he slowly raised his head to look right at her, his expression unreadable. She couldn’t hold his gaze, worried she’d crossed a line and he would be mad at her. He was very private and protective of his family life. He wasn’t saying anything however, just watching her. </p><p>Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Alyssa, John broke into her thoughts. “I’m sorry, but I’ve never heard of it. What is it?” </p><p>Nihlus flicked a look to Garrus and saved her having to respond by answering his question instead. He’d obviously picked up on something based on their reactions. </p><p>“Turians get it, it affects their memory and motor skills. It’s rare, but debilitating. Lethal, in the end,” he explained. </p><p> John nodded, accepting the explanation, but looking at Alyssa, the question clear in his eyes. She gave a slight shake of her head to indicate he drop it, and thankfully he did. </p><p>“There is some positive work being done on a treatment, and I’ve asked Mordin if he can look into it, perhaps speed it along. He’s a geneticist, so he’s more than happy to support,” she told the group, while glancing at Garrus. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her since they’d brought it up and she finally found the strength to give him a small smile. He gave an almost imperceptible nod in return. It would have to be enough for now. </p><p>“Okay, Red, is that everything? Seems like a lot of work for one guy, though, are you sure he’s up for it?” John asked. </p><p>“On that, I think I may have tracked down Padok Wicks. I’ll need to go to Sur’Kesh to see him, but I can get to him. Mordin’s reached out to him already, and if needed, one of the Salarian Spectres may be able to help,” Nihlus piped up. </p><p>“Oh, do you know Jondum Bau? Could he help?” Alyssa jumped in enthusiastically. </p><p>Nihlus chuckled at her reaction. “Let me guess, you know him, and he can help with something else too?” She nodded and he laughed out loud.  </p><p>“He’s a friend, he’ll help,” he assured her. She clapped her hands together with glee and this set almost all of them off, laughing at her antics. Everyone but Garrus, she noted. They would need to talk, and soon. She just hoped he wasn’t too upset. </p><p>“Yes, I’ll brief you, but if I’ve got the timing right, which is quite a big ‘if’ actually, then he could help us get a message to someone we’ll need. Kasumi Goto, thief extraordinaire. He’s been tracking her, or he will, and she’s so tech savvy, he hasn’t figured out that she’s tapped into all his communications. She actually likes him, though not enough to get caught.” She grinned at Nihlus and he shook his head at her.  </p><p>“You realize we don’t typically encourage Spectres being monitored by criminals, right? Or actively recruit someone that warrants a Spectre’s involvement to bring them in?” He asked her incredulously.  </p><p>She shrugged as if it was of no consequence, before defending Kasumi. “She’s just stolen from rich people, no one gets hurt. Someone with pull probably got their panties in a twist and managed to convince the Council to track her down.” </p><p>Nihlus was quiet for a quick beat before shaking his head at her again. “That actually happens more than you would think, Alyssa. Alright, I’ll play along. I’ll ask Jondum for help. Maybe we can get Wicks and Goto both to help us.”  </p><p>John rejoined the conversation then, asking what else they should be focusing on. Again, Alyssa spoke up, looking at Nihlus and Garrus, giving both a small smile. </p><p>“What is it, Red? Spit it out,” John said, an amused look on his face. </p><p>She smirked and said: “Well, I was just thinking, if we need to go to Tuchanka anyway sometime in the near future, we may as well disable that massive bomb the Turians put there as a last resort security measure. If we can get Wrex on board, which means finding his grandfather’s armor, and convincing him on Virmire, maybe he’ll help us get access and we can disable it while Mordin works on the Shroud facility. That’ll go a long way towards gaining goodwill with the Krogan. Think either of you can convince the brass to tell us exactly where it is?” </p><p>Nihlus let out a long breath and put his head in his hands. The others looked slightly ill. </p><p>Looking around, she realized this was news to all of them. </p><p>“And by the looks on your faces, I think I may have forgotten to mention this to you before,” she said, feeling guilty. They nodded, and she winced. “Sorry, guys, there’s so much stuff to keep track of.” She shook her head, feeling like an idiot. “Yeah, so, the bomb. Well, at some point during the war, the Reapers have invaded, there’s a new Primarch, and he reaches out with an urgent request. He sent a team to Tuchanka to disable a huge bomb that the Turians buried underground hundreds of years ago in case the Krogan ever rose up and threatened the galaxy again. Somehow, Cerberus found out about it, and wants to set off the bomb. If they succeed, it wipes out a significant portion of Krogan on the planet. I’m voting we avoid all that and get rid of the bomb before we have Cerberus and Reapers breathing down our necks,” she explained. </p><p>Garrus and Nihlus looked at each other, before Garrus shook his head. “I don’t have enough pull at the top to even ask the question. Sorry.” </p><p>“Sparatus and I get along well enough. I’ll make inquiries, quietly, see how far we get,” Nihlus asserted with confidence. “And while I appreciate the military strategy to have a last line of defense in place, the thought of it makes my stomach turn. We should get rid of it. This type of warfare has no place in this galaxy.” Alyssa nodded gratefully, glad Nihlus agreed with her point of view. The Krogan, while a formidable past enemy, would be powerful allies when trusted. </p><p>“Good, that’s settled then. Thank you. I think all the other stuff will have to wait until we at least defeat Saren. I don’t want to tip off Sovereign and make him more desperate. He can’t figure out what we’re doing, it might make him change his strategy and I can’t predict what would happen then. So, I’d suggest not to go after Javik or the Crucible plans until after he’s dead,” Alyssa said. When she looked around, John, Anderson and Nihlus were also nodding, and finally Garrus agreed as well. </p><p>John took over from there. </p><p>“Alright. I’ll brief the team, get them up to speed about Leng and protecting Alyssa, and we’ll use the rest of the day to get our business sorted on the Citadel. We may need another day or two for restocking our supplies, and I’ve been asked to attend the ceremony for the marines that died in the thresher maw attack.” Alyssa looked up in surprise. She’d forgotten to ask him about the marines or if he’d talked to Kahoku.  </p><p>“Garrus and Alyssa, would you meet me back here at eleven so we can brief the full team? Anything else?” John asked, although it was clear that the meeting was over. When no one spoke up, John nodded, thanked them and then they stood up to move out.  </p><p>Captain Anderson approached Alyssa, giving her a hug and saying goodbye. He was going back to the Citadel now the danger had passed, and they weren’t sure they’d have the chance to see each other before the Normandy left. </p><p>“Take care of Mordin for me, please?” She asked him and he gave her a fond smile. “Of course, Alyssa, the singing Salarian is in good hands.” </p><p>Nihlus said goodbye next, giving her another hug. “I’ll be off soon, but keep an eye out, and stay safe, okay. I’ll be very upset if you save my life and then lose yours.” </p><p>“I promise, Nihlus. I’m not looking for trouble, I swear,” she said solemnly. </p><p>She turned to leave the comms room then, giving John and Garrus a small wave. In the hall however, Garrus caught up to her, overtaking her easily with his bigger stride.  </p><p>“Your quarters please, Lys, if you don’t mind,” he whispered, and she could only nod. </p><p>They made their way there quickly enough and when she entered, she turned around uncertainly, scared to look him in the eye and worried she'd overstepped by asking Mordin to look into a cure. He moved closer and used one finger to tilt her chin up.  </p><p>“Look at me please, Lys,” he said softly. There was no anger in his voice, and she was encouraged by that. She looked up and her breath caught. Garrus had tears in his eyes and looked so vulnerable that she couldn’t help but reach out and pull him into her arms. He let her, and almost fell into her embrace. All his strength seemed to have left him and she awkwardly maneuvered them to the edge of the bed, sitting side by side. </p><p>“I’ve got you, come here, big guy,” she soothed, wrapping her arm around him. She waited for him to compose himself a little.  </p><p>“My mom. You asked Mordin to help my mom,” he whispered, emotion thick in his voice. He turned to wrap her in his arms, almost crushing her before realizing she was a bit more fragile than he was and lessening the pressure. </p><p>“I’m not sure it will work, of course, but well, he’s a genius, and he likes solving puzzles. I thought if he could fix the Genophage, he could maybe help with this too,” she said, shrugging slightly. Garrus was usually so stoic, the open display of raw emotion was unnerving. </p><p>“I can’t believe that’s even on your radar. You forget to tell us about the bomb on Tuchanka, but you think about helping my mom. I mean, how do I ever -,” he sighed, trailing off before reaching out to cup her jaw. He nuzzled his nose against hers before kissing her. </p><p>“Thank you, Lys, this means so much to me,” he murmured. “To have some hope, to at least have a chance, that’s more than we’ve had since the diagnosis.” </p><p>She smiled sadly, hurting on his behalf for the pain his mother’s illness caused their family. Her own parents were taken away so suddenly that she never had a chance to worry or to see them wither away, and she knew part of the reason Garrus didn’t go home was to avoid seeing his mother like that. She was also pretty sure he would regret that when she passed away and it would be too late. </p><p>“How about you go see them after we defeat Saren and Sovereign? Not sure we can spare the time before, we’ll be pretty busy, but there should be a lull after that. I know they’ll be happy to see you, and I think I can even predict your dad being proud of your role in taking down the bad guys and protecting the Citadel. It will do you a world of good, Garrus, I promise,” she urged him. </p><p>He smiled at her and nodded, emitting a low, pleased sound.  </p><p>“Wanna come with me? I can show you around; Palavan’s beautiful and warm. We can make it a holiday if you like, maybe bring Shepard with us if he can get away,” he asked her, some trepidation in his voice. He must be worried that he was asking her for something she wasn’t ready for, she realized. </p><p>“I’d love to come with you, big guy. With or without Shepard. I could do with an actual planet under my feet, all this floating around space makes me nervous,” she added, lightening the mood a little. </p><p>It worked because he laughed in agreement before kissing her again. </p><p>“It’s a date, then,” he said triumphantly, and they were both smiling and kissing for a few more minutes before Alyssa’s omni-tool beeped and interrupted them. </p><p>When she checked, it was a message from doctor Chakwas, asking her to come in for a follow up. They had a little time before the team meeting, so when Alyssa showed him, he easily agreed and they both got up in search of doctor Chakwas.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. You've got that humming feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chakwas has some good news while Garrus makes a startling discovery. New restrictions apply as the team works to keep Alyssa safe and her friends offer her a distraction to get her mind off her run-in with Kai Leng.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey doc, your second favorite patient is here,” Alyssa called out as she walked into the, by now, very familiar med bay with Garrus. The doctor turned with a smile on her face, shaking her head when she saw Alyssa’s wide grin. </p><p>“Number two huh, who would number one be, I wonder?” she replied, letting them in and waiving them to their seats. </p><p>“That’s easy. Joker, of course,” Alyssa replied and Garrus and the doc both laughed before she nodded. </p><p>“Of course. He’s almost as cheeky as you are, young lady,” she added with a fond smile. Alyssa knew that one of the reasons that Chakwas would always choose to serve on the Normandy was her concern for Joker. As she was quite fond of him herself, she understood the sentiment perfectly. </p><p>“Kinda why he’s my friend,” Alyssa admitted and Garrus chuckled next to her. </p><p>“I thought as much. It’s also why you keep getting chased out of the cockpit and why the commander swears you’re a bad influence on each other,” the doctor added. </p><p>“He’s not wrong,” she conceded, grinning at the memory of how exasperated John had gotten with the both of them when they'd been too loud. And he didn’t even know she was encouraging Joker to send him porn. </p><p>“But perhaps not why I asked you to come here,” Chakwas elegantly moved the conversation in another direction. </p><p>Alyssa hadn’t taken any time to think about it before coming, but now she was in the room, her nerves frayed, and she started fidgeting with her hands. Garrus picked up on it and took her hand into his with a small smile, trying to calm her down. </p><p>The doctor noticed, of course, and made a soothing motion with her hands. </p><p>“Nothing bad, I promise. I wanted you here to let you know I completed the blood tests without any concerning results. Whatever is happening seems to be holding steady and isn’t worsening. How are you feeling? Any increase or change in the symptoms?” </p><p>Alyssa sighed, relieved, still gripping Garrus’ hand tightly. He gave her a quick squeeze back in support, the look on his face mirroring hers as they locked eyes. </p><p>“Well, that’s certainly a load off my mind, doc, thanks. I can give you a few updates, I guess. We’re being safe, I promise, but we had a small incident a few days ago. Some fluid got on my skin, nothing invasive, just surface contact. Nothing happened, there was no adverse reaction like a rash or anything, which is why I didn’t tell you right away,” Alyssa said. Chakwas nodded and made a note on her datapad.  </p><p>“That’s certainly positive. Is there anything else you can tell me? Any other changes?” </p><p>“I guess. Remember when I discussed the ‘humming’ sensation on my skin?” she nodded, but Garrus gave her a startled look. She hadn’t told him this part and they hadn’t discussed it during their last joint visit.  </p><p>“Yes, I’ve tried to find something in the medical literature, but I couldn’t find anything conclusive. I also couldn’t find anything abnormal in your blood that could explain it. Very odd. Please, continue,” Chakwas replied. Garrus had gone still next to her but didn’t interrupt. </p><p>“It’s getting, well, I’m not sure ‘worse’ is the right way to put it. It’s a pleasant sensation, but it’s getting more, intense, I suppose would be the right word. And it’s happening with casual contact as well. Just with Garrus though. I’ve hugged other Turians and it doesn’t happen, and it doesn’t happen with anyone else either, Human or otherwise,” she said, struggling to find the right words to explain exactly what was going on. </p><p>“That’s interesting. Again, I’m not sure where that would be coming from. But I suppose we can’t really test it too thoroughly. I mean, it started when you first engaged in sexual contact with Garrus and moved from only being triggered by sexual contact to now with casual contact as well. This isn’t something we can easily replicate with a control group,” the doctor added, looking at it from a scientific perspective. </p><p>At Alyssa’s slightly confused look, she clarified: “I can’t exactly ask you to sleep with either another Turian or a Human to see if the same response can be observed.” </p><p>Alyssa turned bright red at her explanation, looking down. It was a very obvious tell, and Chakwas was a very good doctor, so she prodded just a little, knowing there was something Alyssa wasn’t saying. Garrus remained unresponsive behind her, and when she spared him a glance, he seemed to be wrapped up in his own thoughts. His stare was miles away and his mandibles had gone slack.  </p><p>“Alyssa, can you tell me anything else that’s pertinent to the humming sensation?” </p><p>Letting her attention drop from Garrus’ odd behavior for a moment to refocus on the doc, she nodded, still beet red. </p><p>“Yeah, about that. It’s definitely not triggered by sexual contact in general. I’ve – fuck this is embarrassing – sorry for swearing, doc, I mean,” she sighed, rubbing her forehead in aggravation. Chakwas waited her out, seemingly content to let her gather her thoughts. </p><p>“I’m not telling you anything Garrus doesn’t already know, so I don’t know why I’m nervous. Sorry, doc, I know you’re a professional and all, but it’s like I’m confessing to my mother here,” Alyssa said, waving a hand irritably in her direction. That elicited a small chuckle from Chakwas, who leaned over to touch her shoulder to get Alyssa’s attention. </p><p>“I’ve dealt with soldiers for over twenty years, my girl, there isn’t a lot that shocks me, and I don’t make a habit of judging my patients. So, whatever you need to tell me, I’m not going to think less of you, alright?” Chakwas assured her and it calmed down the butterflies in Alyssa’s stomach. </p><p>“Right, of course, sorry. Anyway, I’ve had sex with a Human and it didn’t happen then. It seems to be intensifying around Garrus though. Like I said, it’s not a bad thing, it feels really nice actually, but it’s certainly something I’ve never experienced before. Maybe it’s because of how I got here? But it seems like an oddly specific side effect, and it would be the only one we’ve been able to identify,” Alyssa finally said. </p><p>Chakwas nodded thoughtfully before responding. “If you don’t mind some more questions, I’d like us to be as specific as possible.” At Alyssa’s nod, she continued. </p><p>“The sex was with a man?” She nodded and Chakwas added it to her notepad. </p><p>“Single instance or repeated?” At her look, Chakwas explained. “You mentioned that your reaction got stronger from repeated contact with Garrus, so I’m trying to establish a similar baseline.” </p><p>“Right, repeated instances, over several days. And to anticipate your next questions, yes, I was exposed to his fluids, ingested some if we want to be specific. No skin tingling or anything like what I’ve already described.” Alyssa was trying to be as matter of fact about it as possible and hoped like hell Garrus wasn’t as embarrassed as she was. When she looked at him however, he still seemed off in his own world. She would have to ask him later; she hadn’t seen him act this out of it before. She could swear he wasn’t hearing a word she was saying. </p><p>“Did you use protection?” Chakwas asked as she made more notes. Alyssa nodded. “Yeah, we used condoms for the actual intercourse part.” </p><p>“To the best of my knowledge, you’re not on birth control, Alyssa. Are you expecting to continue your contact with the Human man?” the doctor asked carefully. </p><p>“I haven’t really given it much thought, but yeah, I think I do need birth control. No way I’m getting pregnant right now,” Alyssa replied, feeling like an idiot for not thinking about the dangers of accidents happening with condoms. She’d been using a birth control pill back home, and obviously hadn’t taken it with her. And then with everything that had happened, she hadn’t been thinking about her own reproductive health.  </p><p>“Alright, no problem. I’ll check your ovaries for signs of overstimulation, like we discussed the last time you were here,” Chakwas told her. “I can get you started on birth control right away, it’s a single, below-the-skin implantable. It doesn’t hurt, you won’t feel it once it's placed and it completely prevents pregnancy. If you change your mind in the future, it can be easily extracted.” </p><p>“That sounds good, doc,” she replied before glancing at a still barely-there Garrus. Making up her mind, she held up her hand to Chakwas.  </p><p>“Actually, could you give us a minute? I need to talk to Garrus,” she said, and the doc nodded before moving away to give them some privacy. </p><p>Alyssa turned to Garrus and grabbed both his hands, trying to get his attention. She had to squeeze quite hard before he seemed to snap out of it and looked at her. Even then, his eyes were unfocused, and she was immediately worried.  </p><p>“What’s going on, big guy, are you alright?” she asked, voice pitched low for privacy, and the concern in her voice must have registered with him, because he blinked and connected with her, looking her in the eyes. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I was just, surprised, I guess. You didn’t tell me about the humming. It threw me, that’s all. Sorry, I don’t think I heard what you and doctor Chakwas were discussing. Are you okay?” he rushed out the words, and made a concerted effort to focus on her, running his hand up her arm. </p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine, just worried about you. I thought maybe you were uncomfortable with me discussing, well, you know,” she whispered, aware of the doc being close enough to hear and unwilling to spill the beans on who she was sleeping with besides Garrus. </p><p>“What? No, not at all. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Sorry, I’m here now if you still want me to be,” he assured her. She nodded, not completely mollified. His behavior was weird, and she got the impression he wasn’t telling her everything. Nothing she could do about it right this minute however, not with Chakwas right there. </p><p>“Yes, please stay. Let’s get this over with and then hurry so we’re not late for the team meeting.” At his nod, they turned to Chakwas and Alyssa gave the older woman a kind smile.  </p><p>“Let’s go, doc, we’re burning daylight,” she quipped, and she laughed when Chakwas made no effort to hide her eye roll. </p><p>“God, I can see why you and Joker get along so well. On the bed, young lady, shirt up,” she huffed, but with clear affection in her voice. </p><p>Chakwas took out some type of scanner and carefully inspected Alyssa’s ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterus, finding no abnormalities. The final point was to inject the implant below her skin, picking a spot on her arm. She hardly felt it. It didn’t need maintenance or Alyssa remembering to take medication every day, so it was a step up from what she’d had before.  </p><p>Garrus was attentive and stayed by her side throughout, stroking her arm. He seemed to want to make up for his earlier absentmindedness, which she appreciated. </p><p>When the procedures were done, doctor Chakwas helped her up from the table and grabbed her datapad to enter all the updates. </p><p>Alyssa turned to her and when she focused her attention back on them, Chakwas smiled. </p><p>“So, all the results are in the normal and expected range. Other than the humming you describe, which isn’t negative, there are no adverse effects from dextro exposure that I can see other than the increased hormones and pheromones that we already discussed. These aren’t causing any adverse changes that I can detect though. With all that, I’d say it’s safe to lift the protections you had in place. You can’t get pregnant and you are both healthy, so there’s really no need to keep using the condoms unless you prefer them,” the doctor explained and Alyssa had to school her expression to not punch the air at that last statement.  </p><p>“Thank you, doctor, I appreciate you being thorough and careful. If I do get some sort of reaction or if the humming becomes uncomfortable, I’ll make sure to reach out,” Alyssa said with a smile. And then, on impulse because she was so happy, she hugged doctor Chakwas. The doctor let her, wrapping her arms around her with a chuckle. </p><p>“You’re welcome, my dear, now, off you go,” she said affectionately. Garrus was more formal, shaking her hand and thanking her before they both said goodbye and left the med bay. </p><p>They were cutting it close, but they would just make it to the comms room in time for the team meeting. Before they turned the last corner however, Garrus stopped her. </p><p>“We need to talk about the humming. We don’t have time now, but it’s important I talk to you about it,” Garrus spoke quietly, so they couldn’t be overheard. The serious look on his face and the way his shoulders were hunched and tense weren't comforting signs. Now she was definitely worried. </p><p>Sensing her concern, he quickly added: “Please don't worry, Lys. We just need to discuss it. I think I need to explain some things.” Because that didn’t sound ominous at all. </p><p>At her skeptical look, he rubbed her arm and smiled. “Everything will be fine, I promise.” </p><p>“Alright, big guy, but as soon as we have a minute, you’re going to have to explain it to me,” Alyssa agreed reluctantly, and he nodded immediately. </p><p>“Let’s go, before you get antsy that we’re late,” she joked, hoping to alleviate some of the tension in the air. It worked marginally and she grinned as he grumbled at her that it wasn’t all that bad while they picked up their pace. </p><p>“Whatever you need to tell yourself, big guy,” she laughed as they entered the comms room to find that while they weren’t the first ones there, several members of their team had also not yet arrived. </p><p>John gave them a quick smile before gesturing for them to come in and sit down. Alyssa sat down next to Tali and the two women chatted quietly, catching up while they were waiting for the last stragglers to arrive. Once they were all seated, John cleared his throat and the room quieted down. </p><p>He started with a detailed report of what had happened to Alyssa the night before, as not all of them were aware of the full story. He pulled up pictures of Kai Leng, and Alyssa couldn’t quite suppress a flinch when she saw his face. From across the room, Ashley gave her a sympathetic look before focusing on the information displayed on the screen. Tali reached out and took her hand in hers. She felt better immediately. </p><p>John explained the conclusion they had reached, that likely at this point Cerberus wasn’t a threat to the mission or to the rest of the Normandy crew, but that they were quite sure that if given half a chance, Leng would come after Alyssa again.  </p><p>A heavy silence fell over the room, the risk to Alyssa on everyone’s mind. They were looking at her, and she was struggling to maintain her composure. The sheer concern for her safety was humbling and heartwarming. </p><p>“So, we keep her safe, right? We’re not going to let anything happen to her,” Kaiden spoke up, to vigorous nods from the rest of them.  </p><p>“Yeah, we’re gonna keep her safe. Ashley, would you mind ramping up the training you’re giving Alyssa? I want you to make it a priority,” John asked and Ashley agreed, giving Alyssa another smile. </p><p>“And Garrus will train Alyssa in hand-to-hand combat. She’s not leaving the ship without an armed escort, either, which means one of us accompanies her wherever she goes. Even if you’re going shoe shopping, Red, you’re not going anywhere alone, especially not the bathroom,” John continued, though he gave her a small smile at the last remark. </p><p>“The rest of us, we keep an eye out and we go out armed and armored. Stay aware of your surroundings, we now know we’re being watched. Report anything suspicious right away. C-Sec and Alliance security are up to speed and should be able to support when needed.” John looked at each of them in turn, and they all nodded to indicate they understood and would comply with his instructions. </p><p>“Right, then we’ll take a few more days here. There are some things that we need to wrap up. If anyone wants to join me for the memorial service for the marines we recovered, let me know. Any upgrades or mods you want to get, now’s the time. We’ve received our first official mission from the Council. Geth have been reported on the planet of Feros, so that's where we're headed after this. If anyone has any concerns, I’ll be here. Thanks, guys.” </p><p>With that, John ended the meeting and the group got to their feet. 	 </p><p>Alyssa had been worried about the sequence in which to complete their missions, and they’d discussed it several times, with John and with Garrus. It seemed that in real life, the Council hadn’t provided John with all of the missions at once. That reassured her that they would follow the right path. She was shaken out of her thoughts when she saw the group break up. </p><p>Liara and Tali came over to Alyssa, offering her comforting words and a hug. They then invited her to come out shopping with them, provided John would approve of her leaving. Liara knew some nice shops on the Citadel and suggested an extensive shopping expedition to build out her wardrobe as well as a late lunch, just the three of them. Alyssa happily agreed, with one addition; they would take Ashley with them. Alyssa knew that Ashley missed hanging out with her sisters and she hoped the tough brunette would warm up to them enough to form a friendship. Tali and Liara agreed and their group expanded to four when Ashley accepted their invitation, even if she couldn’t quite suppress the look of surprise at being asked. </p><p>“Hey boss man,” Alyssa called John over with a big smile. He took one look at her, shook his head and made his way over. </p><p>“This is gonna be good,” he muttered, and Alyssa laughed. </p><p>“The girls and I want to go shopping. Do you agree with all four of us going together? They’ll keep me safe.” She tilted her head to wait for his response. He looked them all over wearily, before sighing and nodding.  </p><p>“Alright, Red, armed and armored, yeah? No drinking or clubbing and back before the end of the day shift,” he told her sternly. </p><p>“Yes, sir,” she agreed with a big smile, resisting the urge to hug him. She grinned when she saw him clench his hands, apparently resisting the same urge. </p><p>“Ladies let’s meet in an hour. I need to get cleaned up and there’s someone I need to talk to first,” she turned to their group and they all nodded happily. </p><p>She made her exit, with a quick detour to John’s cabin to retrieve her backpack. It had her armor and her weapons, so she would need it. Scouting carefully, she was happy to note no one appeared to notice her entering or exiting his room. She walked straight to her own room and found Garrus waiting for her, looking anxious. </p><p>“Hey big guy, I’m glad you’re here,” she greeted him warmly, walking right into his open arms for a tight hug. She turned her head up as he tilted his down for a kiss. It was passionate, and desperate, and while she definitely liked it, it did nothing to appease the uneasy feeling in her stomach. </p><p>“So, wanna tell me what’s going on?” she asked him softly when she stepped back, motioning for him to sit down on the edge of the bed with her. </p><p>“Not sure how to explain, really. It’s about the, uh,” Garrus began, waving his hand idly to indicate the general area between her hair and her toes. </p><p>“Humming sensation, the buzz I get on my skin when we touch,” she interjected, and he nodded. He looked uncertain and confused. It was a rare enough occurrence to make her wary of what he had to tell her. Because it was clear that he thought he knew more about it, and he’d deliberately chosen not to tell Chakwas. </p><p>“The sensation you describe, it’s something Turians experience. When a Turian finds the right mate, one of the ways they know is because their skin starts humming whenever they’re near,” he explained, looking terribly uncomfortable. He was squirming nervously next to her and wasn’t making any effort to touch her. </p><p>Alyssa turned all this over in her mind before she responded. It was obvious she’d have to be careful, Garrus was jittery enough at the moment and she didn't want to make it worse. </p><p>“And you’re worried, because, as far as you know, this is limited to Turians?” she asked, keeping her voice light and neutral. </p><p>“Yes, I’ve never heard of a non-Turian experiencing this. Lys, what do you know about Turian relationships?” </p><p>She gave this some thought. Not a lot, if she were honest. </p><p>“I don’t know that much about it, Garrus, I’m sorry. I know your parents are married, and I think monogamy in serious relationships is the norm, but nothing about courting rituals or anything like that,” she told him with a shrug of her shoulders. </p><p>He nodded slowly. “Right. Well.” He still looked like he’d rather be anywhere else than here, explaining this to her. She took his hand in both of hers, cradling it, waiting for him to continue. </p><p>“Turians date and have sex quite casually when they’re young adults. You’re expected to go out into the world and experience life, you know, before you start focusing on your career and settle down, have a family. Part of why my father and I argue, I’m at the age to settle down, and he’s upset I’m not taking it seriously,” he explained. </p><p>“Okay, I think I understand. Go on,” Alyssa told him, keeping it light. </p><p>“There are basically two types of relationships, whether people marry or not, although it’s of course not always that black and white. For politically-minded people, effectively the majority of Turians, a strategic marriage alliance elevates their position in the Hierarchy, so parents will often get involved and select, or suggest, a partner for their children. My dad has been trying to introduce me to Councilor Sparatus’ daughter for example, not that I’m interested,” he continued, still sounding miserable. </p><p>“Alright, I get it, there are some parts of Earth where that’s also how things are done, at least back where I’m from,” she told him, encouraging him to continue. </p><p>“Right. The other type of relationship is based on bonding with your partner. It’s a life-long commitment, based on love, not political expedience. Once cemented, a bond cannot be broken. Between Turians, it can exceed the love a parent has for a child even, or so I’m told. It’s possible for a Turian to bond with a non-Turian, although it’s very rare. When it happens however, the bond is always one-way, the non-Turian cannot reciprocate, as it’s completely based on Turian physiology. For them, it would be like any other marriage, or relationship. But for the Turian, it would be their one and only relationship, a bond that cannot be broken.” At this, he finally looked at her, checking her reaction.  </p><p>“And the humming, it’s something Turians experience when they find their bonding partner?” she asked tentatively. </p><p>“Bond mate, but yes, I think so. A buzz or hum that runs in currents over the skin, like low-level electricity. Is that what it feels like for you?”  </p><p>She nodded. “That’s exactly it.” </p><p>“Anything else you can tell me about it?” He asked her carefully. She thought about it for a moment, thinking about the strange sensation, when she’d experienced it, and how it reacted to what she’d been feeling. </p><p>“Well, this is a bit awkward actually, but the feeling intensifies when you bite me or make me cum,” she said with a blush, looking at him from under her lashes. He exhaled sharply, so it was apparently significant. </p><p>“That’s also consistent with what I know about it,” he admitted. </p><p>“Hold on, so I’m not a Turian, but I’m reacting physically like I am one and one that’s found her bond mate, at that? And that’s supposed to be impossible, because only Turians can respond that way? Are you sure?” she was a bit firmer now, what he was telling her was sinking in.  </p><p>“We’d have to find an expert, obviously, but yes, it does seem that way.” He looked uncomfortable and was trying to make himself smaller, hunching his shoulders and refusing again to look at her. Finally, the penny dropped. </p><p>“You think you did this to me somehow, you feel responsible,” she said, and it wasn’t a question. When he didn’t respond, she touched his mandible and softly guided him to look at her. When she got a good look at him, the guilt was written across his face. </p><p>“Oh, come here, silly man, it’s going to be fine,” she said, wrapping him into a hug and kissing him, first on the mandible, before moving their foreheads together. Tentatively, he reached out to hug her back. The humming started immediately when his arms closed over her and she laughed out loud when she noticed. He froze and she moved back slightly, so they were face to face, close together. </p><p>“I’m feeling the humming again,” she confessed, cheeks reddening. What he said next floored her. </p><p>“So am I,” he whispered, looking her in the eyes for the first time since they started the conversation. Her surprise must have been obvious, and he smiled before putting their foreheads together. </p><p>“That’s how you knew what it felt like,” she murmured, and he hummed in agreement. His sub-vocals, which had been quiet all this time, slowly started up as he relaxed, emitting a low rumble. She realized he must have actively been suppressing them before. </p><p>“So, I guess you kind of like me, then,” she continued, giving him a small smirk. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess I kind of do,” he agreed, kissing her again. </p><p>“Good thing I like you too then,” she admitted, and he smiled happily, his sub-vocals humming pleasantly.  </p><p>“Tell me more about this bonding thing, I want to know what’s involved,” she asked him, breaking their kiss before they got completely sidetracked. </p><p>“It’s new for me too, I haven’t experienced it before either. Not that I’ve had any serious relationships, so I wouldn’t know. Generally speaking, however, the bond strengthens over time until both parties are quite sure they want to spend their lives together. Once they agree, there’s a ritual that precedes the wedding vows, but we don’t have to worry about that right now.” </p><p>“It’s not harmful, right? I mean, it doesn’t sound like it, and it certainly doesn’t feel like it, but as it progresses, will it be alright?” she asked him. </p><p>“For Turians, yeah, it’s fine. The feeling will intensify and build over time. Turians that are bonded can sense each other’s emotions. There are stories of bonded Turians that serve together moving in complete symmetry on the battlefield, operating as if they are one. But for you, I don’t know. That’s what worries me. I think we need to find a Turian doctor, see if they can help,” he admitted.  </p><p>“We can do that. I’m sure it will be fine, big guy,” she assured him. “Please don’t worry, and don’t feel guilty. I’m not at all unhappy with finding out the reason why this is happening.” She nuzzled his neck affectionately and he purred, his worry easing when she didn’t seem angry or concerned.  </p><p>A thought suddenly occurred to her and her stomach dropped. She pulled away from him a little to look him in the eyes. Surprise and then worry flashed across his handsome features, and she held up a hand to stop him before he could talk. </p><p>“Does this, does it change how you feel about Shepard and I? Would the bond interfere? I’m not sure how to ask this, I’m sorry,” she said, shooting him an apologetic look. He looked pensive, taking some time to respond to her. She usually appreciated it when he considered things carefully but found herself waiting nervously for his answer. </p><p>He took her hands in his and made eye contact with her before responding. </p><p>“No, sweetheart, it doesn’t, not for me, at least. It means I’d be tied only to you; no other woman would ever come close to the love I would feel for my bond mate. Theoretically, if you were Turian, it should work the same way. But I can’t predict what it will do for you. I don’t know if our bond strengthening would mean you move away from Shepard or not. And well, although it’s rare, Turians also have multiple partners sometimes, I don’t know how that would work with bonding involved. You’re the only one that can know how you feel. But for me, I would never begrudge your relationship with Shepard, nor do I mind sharing you like we did last night. I actually rather enjoyed it,” he finally replied, a coy smile at the last confession. </p><p>Alyssa turned this over in her head, examining the things he’d said and comparing them with how she was feeling. The humming had been intensifying, but so far, it hadn’t lessened her feelings for John. Granted, they were all still in the early phases of their relationship, but she had become attached quite firmly to them both. Garrus was looking at her uncertainly as she was mulling this over. Shaking her head decisively, she made up her mind. </p><p>“We need to tell John about this. I don’t want to keep secrets, not about something big like this. We’ll find a doctor to help and see if we can figure out what this might mean for me, physically,” she said. Garrus nodded, in complete agreement, whispering: “No secrets, Lys, not between the three of us.” </p><p>“As far as my feelings for John are concerned, I don’t think the bond is impacting them negatively, at least not yet. If anything, I’m getting more attracted to you both,” she smiled, and he gave her an impish grin and a pleased purr. </p><p>“Glad to hear it. We’ll talk to him about it tonight. If I’m not mistaken, there’s some serious shopping on the agenda for today,” he lightly teased her. She nodded before reaching for him again, needing to feel him close. </p><p>They spent a few more comfortable minutes like this, alternatively kissing and nuzzling, their hands drawing lazy patterns across each other’s arms and backs. </p><p>In the end though, she still had to freshen up and change into her armor. She pulled herself away from Garrus reluctantly. He chuckled but offered to help her put her armor on. It took longer than when Ashley had helped her before, because he kept trailing kisses and nips across any exposed skin she revealed, but finally she was outfitted properly, weapons in place and hair tucked away. </p><p>“I still owe you a date, you know. Dinner with Chellick doesn’t count. We can’t go out to a restaurant now anyway, but I was thinking we could go to my place and I’ll cook for you. Tomorrow maybe? I’ll talk to Shepard about it, but I’m pretty sure he’ll agree.” </p><p>“I’d love that, big guy, thank you. It’s a date,” she told him with a bright smile, setting off another pleased hum from Garrus. </p><p>“Oh, and Lys? You look so hot in that armor, it’s taking all my self-control not to keep you here and rip it right off you,” he remarked casually, as if he wasn’t painting a very vivid picture for her. </p><p>“You’ll have to wait until tonight, lover. Then I’m all yours,” she promised before kissing him again and shooing him out of her quarters with her.</p><p>***</p><p>They parted ways and she went over to meet up with Tali, Ashley and Liara. They greeted her warmly, and each of them gave her a hug. It was a little awkward with all of them being in armor, but they managed. This of course led to some lewd comments from Joker, who she silenced by flicking him on the nose. Chastised, he smiled at her and she kissed his cheek. </p><p>“Be safe, Cleo, see you tonight,” he called after her as they departed the airlock. </p><p>There was a skycar waiting for them and there was no doubt in her mind that John had made the arrangements. When they arrived at their destination, they clambered out of the cab and stood for a moment, just taking in the area in front of them. Looking around, they were in a sort of shopping paradise, with brightly colored window displays and a large variety of shops. Clothes, shoes, beauty shops, hair dressers and more were clamoring for the attention of the mostly female shoppers. Liara confidently led them to the right spot, a side street that the Asari promised would have everything a girl could want.  </p><p>“So, weapons mods, armor upgrades and grenades?” Ashley asked and they all looked scandalized before bursting out laughing. Liara gave her an incredulous look, before shaking her head. </p><p>“There’s more to you than just being a soldier, you know, you should lean into that a little occasionally. You’re a beautiful woman and while you don’t need to dress like a stripper at Chora’s Den, you could embrace it a little,” she chided. When Ashley snorted, it was Alyssa’s turn to needle her a little. </p><p>“From what I saw at the club last night, I’m thinking Kaiden wouldn’t mind you taking Liara’s advice. He was all over you, and don’t think I missed your smiles either. You were enjoying yourself with him,” Alyssa said confidently. Ashley narrowed her eyes at her and opened her mouth to argue, but Alyssa held up her hand to silence her. </p><p>“None of your bullshit excuses, I know what I saw. He was making those puppy dog eyes at you and you were soaking up the attention. Don’t even try to deny it,” she added when Ashley was about to do just that. </p><p>Tali and Liara both burst out laughing, before agreeing with Alyssa.  </p><p>“He had the goofiest grin on his face when he was dancing with you. He didn’t have that when he danced with any of us, which by the way, wasn’t nearly as much as he danced with you,” Tali commented dryly. </p><p>Ashley rolled her eyes before reluctantly agreeing.  </p><p>“Fine, let’s say, for arguments’ sake, that he’s interested in me, and that I’m, for the purpose of this discussion, interested in him,” and at this point both Alyssa and Liara rolled their eyes, and she was pretty sure Tali was making a similar move behind her mask. </p><p>“What would I need to help that along?” Ashley asked carefully. Liara squealed in delight, and looped her arm around the other woman’s, pulling her along.  </p><p>“Leave it with me, I’ll get you set up. I haven’t spent my entire life digging through ruins, you know,” she said, cutting a look at Alyssa, whose features betrayed some surprise at Liara’s newfound expertise in the realm of dating. Before she could make a smart-ass remark however, Tali decided to throw Alyssa under the proverbial bus.</p><p>“Oh, and we need to get some things for Alyssa as well. I’m thinking mountains of flimsy underwear. Garrus seems like the type that likes to tear it off – with his teeth,” Tali suggested cheekily. Alyssa turned bright red and turned to look at Tali, who was laughing hysterically at her own joke. </p><p>Liara looked at Alyssa in shock, and when she saw the blush confirm Tali’s statement, a similar blush in blue crept up to settle on her cheeks. </p><p>“You’re with Garrus? That sounds – exciting,” she muttered, sounding unsure. </p><p>“You could say that, she’s covered in talon and bite marks,” Ashley disclosed with glee, happy to no longer be the focus of the women’s attention. Liara gasped and looked at Alyssa for confirmation, while Ashley had a huge grin on her face and Tali was chuckling softly. </p><p>Alyssa just shrugged to indicate it was no big deal. </p><p>“I’m not discussing this with you,” she said firmly, shaking her head. </p><p>“But that’s not fair, Alyssa, you’re the only one of us even having sex right now, <i>and</i> you managed to bag the hottest Turian I know,” Tali whined, taking her by the arm to wind their way through the crowd together. </p><p>“Tali! Don’t let Nihlus hear you say that, he’ll be heartbroken,” she chided her friend, shaking her head with laughter before sobering her expression.   </p><p>“And I need all of you focused when you’re in the field with him, keeping each other safe, not distracted thinking about bite marks or whatever,” she responded, glaring at them. “I need all of you to come back in one piece, please,” she added for good measure. They all looked properly subdued and Alyssa was struggling to keep a straight face. </p><p>“But you’re not wrong about the underwear, I actually do need extra sets, there’s significant wear and tear when you’re with a Turian,” she smiled at them and they burst out laughing again, causing an older couple to scowl at them in passing. </p><p>“I know just the place, come on,” Liara urged, leading the way to the shop she had in mind. </p><p>They spent the rest of the afternoon trying on clothes, chatting, laughing and buying an enormous amount of things either Liara or Ashley insisted they absolutely needed to have. For Alyssa that meant she was now properly stocked in the clothing department, with significant focus given to the underwear section, as well as a new mod for her pistol and an additional medi-gel slot for her armor. The rest of the women had an equally impressive haul, with everything from shoes to cosmetics to fringe-firming lotion making its way back to the ship, all of it getting delivered directly to the Normandy while they continued to a nice little restaurant for a late lunch. </p><p>Alyssa ducked more questions about Garrus, and they spent some time teasing Ashley as well as asking Tali about any likely candidates back home she’d like to get to know better when she returned to the Fleet. Liara wasn’t spared, with them piling on about how attractive the other archeologists were and if things ever got hot and heavy on a dig site. Liara assured them that dig sites were wholly unsuited for romantic pursuits, but the gleam in her eyes suggested something different.  </p><p>When they came back to the Normandy, using a skycar for safety, Alyssa was tired, but relaxed and happy. Her friends were getting along, and she noted happily that Ashley didn’t keep herself separated from the rest of them and didn’t treat the aliens differently either.  </p><p>She had noticed some odd looks from people passing them from time to time during the day, but none that seemed to linger, or appeared malicious. She supposed four women together, heavily armed and of various species wasn’t an everyday occurrence, even on the Citadel. She checked with Ashley a few times when she wasn’t sure if someone was paying too much attention, but each time, the brunette investigated the source for a long beat, before dismissing it.  </p><p>***</p><p>When they were through the Normandy airlock, she gave each of them a firm hug, thanking them for a lovely day. She went to Joker, dropping into the seat next to him with a smile and she held out her hand. In it was a small package, carefully gift-wrapped, and she offered it to him.  </p><p>“I told you that if you behaved, I’d get you something,” she offered by way of explanation. He smiled and his eyes lit up before he tore through the wrapping to find out what it was. </p><p>It was a small, round, flat disc and he turned it over in his hand, finding the ‘on’ button. </p><p>He threw his head back and laughed out loud when he saw what she’d gotten him. He reached over to give her a hug. </p><p>“This is perfect, I’m keeping it right here,” he said proudly, using the adhesive on the bottom to affix the disc to the console in front of him. </p><p>A little holo had popped up, a few inches high, this century’s equivalent of a bobblehead statue. She’d taken some time in the shop to configure it, so they were looking at a small holographic image of a mummy, with Alyssa’s face instead of the wrapped-up head. </p><p>When it was in place, he sat back theatrically to admire his new toy, grinning widely. </p><p>“Shepard’s going to hate it,” he said conversationally, and Alyssa could only give him a big grin. </p><p>“Yeah, now wave your hand in front of it,” she prodded him. When he did as she said, the mummy moved its hands forward in the typical shambling mummy walk and a voice intoned: “Why are you in my pyramid?” </p><p>Grinning widely, he tried it a few more times, cycling through catchphrases like ‘There’s sand everywhere, it itches,’ and ‘Have you seen my scarab? I think it skittered off’. His favorite, however, was the lewdest one, he positively howled with laughter when he heard it. </p><p>‘Hey, don’t use my wraps to wipe your ass!’ the little mummy growled. They were both doubled over, laughing themselves silly when John found them. He looked miffed, until he spotted the holo stuck on the dashboard. </p><p>“Is this going to interfere with mission readiness at all?” he asked, and Alyssa clearly heard the amusement in his voice. </p><p>“No, sir, in fact, it might actually help alleviate stress,” Joker answered promptly, Alyssa smiling at the quick response. </p><p>“You know what, I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see it. Alyssa, with me, please,” he ordered. </p><p>“Yes, sir, of course. Bye buddy, talk to you later,” she said, rising and falling into step with John. Joker waved them off happily, focusing on the mummy. She wondered what it was that John wanted and hurried after him to find out.</p>
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